Complete family/Life Happiness?

When does life stop surprising you?  In my mid 30s and 5 kids you would think certain things would no longer surprise me.  I don't know what I expected with J.  Did I expect because we didn't plan for him and he was so unexpected I wouldn't love him the same?  I don't think so.  I don't think I really even thought about it one way or another or had any expectations for my feelings.  It just seems that everyday that goes by I feel more love and such intense love for Jaemin and it surprises me a bit.  I'm not really sure why except that it's just so intense in the connection and that connection feels so special with my little man.

I could literally sit there and stare at him.  I'm in such awe at how precious he is and how gorgeous (I mean really gorgeous) he is.  I always said we were done after Chelsi.  I mean we had only planned for 2, maybe 3, kids.  I guess after Chelsi it just kind of felt like we "should" be done.  We had 4 kids and it was busy and it really isn't that "normal" to even have 4, let alone 5.  So we thought we were done and then J just shocked us all right into our lives.  And now I feel something I've never felt in our 15 years of marriage.  I feel VERY complete.   Truly complete.  This little man that we never intended to have closed the door and made my heart feel very full.  I'd always thought it was bs when people said they knew they were done and complete.  I can see if you just knew, from the start, what you were going to have from the start, but people like me that said so many and slowly exceeded that.  How did they really know they were every done?  Now I know and understand.  I think a part of me didn't really let go of the total idea of another.  I think a part of me knew there was still something missing.  But, logically, it just didn't make sense to want another child.

We thought we were done and in a non-purposeful way we left it to the Lord.  His birth mother was not put in this pain for my joy.  I don't believe that for a second.  She had another child, was unable to raise him, asked for him to be placed with his sibling and we were fortunate to be that family.  It was just human choice and circumstance that brought him into this world, but I believe at that point he was meant to be with us and his sister.  For this, I pray that his birth mother reads the letters we send, one day, and knows that he's with her as she wanted.  I hope this gives his birth mother peace as she deserves for her selfless gift.

After the loss of a friend and her son (whom we went through our first, her only, processes together), I'm trying very hard to not get so upset about such small things.  Settle down and look at the big picture. It's sometimes easier said than done, but for some reason the loss of these two people gave me that insight that I truly needed.  And on top of feeling complete with my sweetness in my life I'm trying to find my bliss in the simpleness of life and what the Lord intended and attempting to not get caught up in drama and little unimportant things that the Lord looks down on.

Thank you Liz and Seth for that.  I have faith you two are together as mommy and son and you will forever be guardingels to your husband/father.

Lisa

Confirmation

We had confirmation that Chelsi has strep like the others.  J's pneumonia was not going away like we had hoped on amox, so I asked that they change his meds.  He gets z now.  If he has any fevers by Monday he has to be seen.  He's been in a greally great mood today, though he's still really tired.  I'm praying my little man is getting over this.  Chelsi actually seems to be feeling well and her temp isn't too bad.  But, we're keeping her confined to keep the others from reinfection.

Hopefully, soon, no one in the house will be sick anymore and we'll make it through the rest of the season with no major illnesses.  Please!

Lisa

Update on sick baby

No new sick babies, which is good, but one has gotten worse.

J seemed fine Friday and Saturday.  No fever, great mood, great appetite, everything.  Then suddenly about 10:30 pm on Saturday night he woke screaming.  I picked him up and he was burning up.  He was just under 105 at that point.  We put a cool rag on his head after we gave him some Motrin and waited for it to go down.  It went down fairly fast and I slept with him the rest of the night.  Sunday J was fine again.  Then, last night (Sunday), at the same time he woke screaming.  He was 105.6 under his arm.  He scared me to death.  I called the doctor to make sure cold rags wouldn't shock him and he said it was fine.  We had given him Motrin, but almost two hours later the Motrin hadn't done anything and he was still about 103.  I called our nurse hotline and she said to bring him to the ER since he was also breathing fairly fast.  By the time we got there it was down to 101.5.  They did a flu swab and it was negative.  Then they did a chest xray and it was positive for pneumonia.  The ER doctor said he probably got worse after he got strep from K.  He said he's already on the right antibiotic and should be feeling better in a day or two.  He almost seems worse today...maybe it's just that hump he's almost over though.  J's been so tired, no appetite and very clingy.  I can hold him and hold him.  He's been so sweet and just holds onto me.  He really seems to love me as much as I love him now.  And I know just how much I love this boy.  I hope he's better soon.  I hate seeing him so tired and not feeling well.  I like my active little man.

Prayers for my sweet boy and for the rest of the crew to stay healthy the rest of the season.

Lisa

Our trip to Korea

Yeah, so it's 3 or 4 years away.  It will take a ton of planning to afford and get 7 people to Korea and meet 3 different foster mothers at 3 different agencies scattered throughout Seoul.

We have the account set up.  We got some money from Dell for a PC we had several years ago that went bad.  Then, today I sent our Discovercard rewards to that account.  We now have a whopping $350 for Korea.  Doesn't sound like much, but hopefully we'll get there.

I'm figuring we'll need around $13,000 for us to go.  I'm estimating; $300 for cabs, subway and incidentals fees, $2100 for hotel ($300/night for two rooms for 7 nights will hopefully squeeze all seven of us in), $8,750 for airfare ($1250 each if we're lucky!), $300 for food (this is one of the cheapest things we did travelling), $500 for shopping (new hanboks and all the other things from Korea we'll want to bring back) and last and very least is about $90 or so for parking while we're gone.  This only comes to $12,000 or a little over, but I'm sure we're not going to get airfare for that price in 3-4 years.

So, let's say we now have our food money!  :)

Just $12,650 to go and we'll get to go to Korea with the kids!   Please pray for the rest to come.

Lisa

Bloodwork done

We don't have the results yet and may not for a couple of days, but we've had Jaemin's blood drawn.  I know when they couldn't get blood from Chelsi I gave up and never went back, but hers was just being precautionary.  I wasn't worried when the doctor asked that we get blood drawn to check for iron, lead and CBC.  I figured, no rush.  But, when he started to show more allergies to berries we couldn't hold off.  We decided to get enough drawn to do it all at once.  That's a lot of blood.  Blood for the allergies alone is a lot.  The first arm they tried the vein just kept rolling.  Then, the second arm rolled too, but she managed to move the needle and get the vein.  They started filling vials as quickly as they could.  hey were a little shorter in each vial than they had hoped, but they were going to put his birth date on the vials and let the lab know that they really need to try to get all the results we need off the blood he already gave so we don't have to put him through this again.  We're praying they can make it work.

I don't remember what all they're testing for, but they're testing for everything they have a panel for.  All the regulars, plus extra fruits.  It's hard to keep his ear clear at this point from the last reaction, so we don't want to risk giving him any other food he can't handle.  I'm praying he's not allergic to too much or anything too difficult to eliminate from the diet.  That will be difficult with 5 kids.  Praying he's okay.  Hopefully, they call soon so we can just know.

Momma loves you little man.

Lisa

Back to the market

I wanted to get pictures of the South Gate, but had no idea they had it blocked off after it was damaged in the fire.  So they have it hidden and are doing something with it.  But, we took pictures of it anyways.  The rest of the pictures are of the area near there, downtown Seoul, and Namdaemun Market where we went back to shop.  We finished getting everything I still wanted to get and got some great deals!  When we were at the market a guy stopped to talk to Chelsi.  He practiced his English with us and kept squeezing her cheeks to say how beautiful she was and then picked her right up.  I had to grab a photo of that!

Later, in the afternoon, we took the subway and went to Eastern to see Kaelin's foster mother.  We got there early and had hoped to hold the babies, but they must not let people do that anymore, so all we got to do was glance in there through the glass.  They showed us where Kaelin sat for her picture as an infant, got her shots, etc.  It was pretty neat to see.  When Mrs. Kim walked into the room we immediately recognized her and she us.  She cried a lot.  She was SO happy to see Kaelin again and couldn't believe how big she'd gotten and how round her head turned out.  She said she was really worried about her flat head as a baby.....I remember that being said on a video.  :)  She told us how good of a baby Kaelin was and that she never cried.  She's now fostering TWO babies!  She said one is seven months old and the other is 20 days!  Wow!  She bought Kaelin a cute little dress, some pastels to draw with and some hair accessories....she knows our girl!  Kaelin is wearing the dress tomorrow to meet Jaemin.....she loved it!  Kaelin didn't say a word the whole time.  That was the longest I've ever not heard her utter something, but she did sing the Three Bears song for her and her foster mother LOVED it and cried again that she knew some Korean.  She wants her to come back when she's older.  She wanted to know everything about Kaelin aside from what I write in letters every year.  She said she was very happy that we wrote every year and sent pictures.  That makes me feel better that she likes them and gives me incentive to continue doing it.  She requested that next year Kaelin also write a letter and draw her a picture, which Kaelin promised to do.  I am also sending her some pictures from today because she had to leave her camera.

While we were waiting to meet Kaelin's foster mother they put us in the computer room.  There was another couple in there from CO that were picking up their son.  We talked to them for about an hour.  It was nice to chat with someone from the US and about the fears of going home etc.  I'm a little fearful of our flight.  We were told in Chicago to call Korean Air a couple of days before we left to have our seats switched so we can get bulkhead and basinett, but when I called they said I should have set it up when we left.  Frustrating!  I'm going to try to talk to them when we arrive because they have us sitting in two rows with strangers on the aisle while we're on the inside.  Pretty sure those people are not going to like having us get up with 3 kids often!  They'll regret that for sure.

It really was a great day.  We walked to a local florist and got some flowers to give to Jaemin's foster mother tomorrow when we take him.  They're very pretty and money here goes a lot further on flowers than they do in the US.  A lot better flowers for the money....they are beautiful!

Observations from the week so far; people park their cars on the sidewalk and if you're walking there you better move 'cause mostly they don't stop.  Bikes and mopeds will run you right over as they weave between streets and sidewalks often.  We've been knocked around by people too.  They don't slow down for anything.  The subways here are super easy to figure out, but today Lois realized we could turn our tickets in at our home stop for 500 won back.  That was a good discovery.  We've had a mixed bag of reactions from people on the subway.  That's where the majority of the reactions have happened.  Most older gentlemen just love Chelsi and talk away to her and smile.  One man, today though, was saying things to us and was definitely not happy with us...but we have no idea what we did.

Tomorrow, we'll try the palace, but due to the former President's death we're not sure it will be open.  It's just a quick walk though.  After that we're going to baby proof the room and go get my boy!  YAY!!!!



















This is one of the potties at the agency (squatty potty for women) :)



Kaelin's dress from Mrs. Kim.  Her caseworker said they call this kind of dress the princess syndrome...dresses for spoiled little girls.  :)



Not sure when I'll post again since tomorrow is baby night!  I should have some time in between to post about the palace, but after that....who knows!  Pray for our safety on our trip home!

Lisa

Today's activities...

We were so busy today.  We left the hotel fairly early afraid we wouldn't figure out how to get from the hotel to Holt using the subway.  We figured it out a lot quicker than we thought and made it there 1 1/2 hours early...ooops!  So, we asked if we could go to the Reception Center to hold the babies there.  She gave us directions and let us go.  We found it pretty easily too.  They were so sweet!  There were five in each room.  There were the ones that were about 5 months and up and the ones under in another room.  One little girl in the big baby room smiled and smiled.  There was a little guy with downs syndrome that really liked to move...kinda dancing.  I held a little boy that was just huge!  We moved to the little babies room and held them too.  Though there was one little one still in an isolate that was just days old.  She was very sweet.  One baby slept the whole time.  I picked up the little girl closest to me, who was about 4 months old.  I was going to put her down to pick up the little guy Lois had because she swore he wanted me and she got really mad.  As soon as I picked her back up she was fine.  She just melted into you and sat there.  We said goodbye to all the babies and the sweet workers in the rooms after almost an hour and walked back for our meeting with Chelsi's foster mother. 

Chelsi's foster mother was so happy to see her.  She told us the things she remembered about Chelsi.  Apparently Chelsi cried a lot.  I can't even imagine that.  She really doesn't cry that often now.  She remembered how chubby she was...that's very true!  She said recently she was the only girl she'd ever had in 6 years and 12 babies.  Chelsi's only the 2nd to come back to see her so far.  We gave her the gifts we put together and she gave us some things.  I got a little Korean fan and the girls got hair stuff....which Kaelin grabbed very quickly.  We also got some ginseng tea, so Brian will try that out.  We took lots of pictures and talked for awhile then headed out to catch the subway to SWS.  The foster mother did say she would try to email again.  She'd tried off of the email I put in some old letters, but she said it didn't work. 

We figured out way to SWS from Holt pretty quickly too.  We got a lot of stares on that long ride.  Couldn't tell what they were thinking though.  We found SWS.  Walking from the station to SWS was a little harder to find than Holt, but we did find it.  We were a little early there too.  The subways are very fast!  We gave our gifts to the director and also delivered a gift from another SWS family to the director for the birthmother and fostermother of a child.  We then got a taxi with our case worker and went to the foster mother's house.  She came to find us and we went up to their place.  We went in and took our shoes off to sit and play.  We had an hour.  First, we got to just play with Jaemin alone because the case worker was asking the foster mother questions about his habits so she can type it up for us.  Then we all just kind of talked a bit and exchanged gifts.  We got his hanbok, a Korean/English baby's first bible kind of book (so cute) and a huge photo album of pictures.  The foster mother said Jaemin knows what particular clothes they wear to go outside and gets so excited because he loves to go out.  He also loves the water and having his feet played with.  We ate ice cream later.  Jaemin has the sweetest laugh.  He thought Lois, Kaelin and Chelsi playing ball was hilarious.  He smiled a lot!  He didn't look for his foster mother as much as I thought he would, while I held him.  I truly expected him to cry when I picked him up, but not one bit.  He kissed me a lot.  That sweet open mouth baby kiss!  He held onto my shoulder and if I sat him a bit in front of me he turned and reached back.  Melt my heart!  I pray Thursday and Friday go as well when he leaves his foster mother behind completely.  BTW, he's HUGE!  He's a big, solid boy!  And he can crawl fast!  She says he's pulling up too, so we're going to be very busy.  Lois doesn't think the clothes I have will fit.  :)  It was hard to say goodbye, but we'll be back soon and have him for the night.  I'll post pictures of all of this at a later date when I decide which pictures are safest to post and Brian sees his pictures first.

Now, for the funniest part of the day.  When we were on our way back from the Reception Center to Holt agency, we had to cross the street.  The arrows were going down so we were running out of time.  I was carrying Chelsi and Lois was running across with Kaelin.  She had these heelish shoes on and apparently looked back for Chelsi and I and all I saw was her sailing to the ground and she took Kaelin with her.  Just short of the curb, but still in front of a car.  We grabbed the stuff they dropped and went on and Kaelin barely had a scrape on her leg, but Lois cut herself.  We've been laughing about it all day because when Lois fell all I could see was Kaelin flying to the ground and when she landed her arms and legs were spread out as she laid there on the ground.  It really was pretty funny, so we've been giving Lois a hard time the rest of the day.

Anyways, going for the night and no pics tonight.  Tomorrow all we have is to go to Eastern to meet Kaelin's foster mother.  We'll sight see a little more Thursday morning and then go get Jaemin at 4:00 pm.  Friday we should get to leave.

Can't wait to return with him.  Keep us in your prayers.

Lisa

We're in Korea!

I know, I never said we'd even left yet.  It's been crazy.  We had a vague idea Thursday afternoon and by the time I left the kids' awards assembly Friday I had a voicemail from the agency saying we had travel clearance and could leave Saturday.  So at 3:30 am we left home and by 4:00 am the next day we were in Korea....of course in Korea it was that afternoon...late.  That really throws you off when you miss a day like that.

Anyways, I'll try to post here and there about our travel so far, but not exactly sure how that will turn out.  I just happen to be up at 2:00 am Korea time and couldn't sleep so I got my pictures off the camera and thought I might post a little.

The first flight was exactly on time and then we had about 3 ½ hours to get back through security before the next flight, which was way plenty time.  Then, Lois went on MANY walks through that area with the girls.  By then, it was 8 hours after we’d left home and they had done really well.  But, on the first flight Kae ended up with a window seat and she REALLY enjoyed getting to see the ground beneath us and slowly going away.  She was pretty amazed by that.  It was actually pretty funny on the way to the airport too.  The girls both fell asleep and had been asleep for quite sometime when we arrived.  They both woke up right as we were pulling in to park and Kaelin got so excited (she was woohooin' the whole time to park) to find out we were already there and Chelsi promptly told us she almost fell asleep.  ;)

The first little flight was just an hour long.  It was American and Kaelin thought it was great just because it was a new experience.  But, when we got on the Korean Air flight she really thought it was awesome.  They love eating on the airplane, picking out movies to watch and listening to their pick of Korean kids songs.  Chelsi ate a hamburger and some other kids stuff for lunch, but Kaelin and I had bibimbop.  Lois had the pasta.  She was too hungry to try something new at that time.  All the girls did was talk about how much they loved the airplane.  They obviously don't remember their crabbiness after they had been awake for almost 24 hours and FINALLY fell asleep the last few of the trip.  We barely woke Chelsi up enough to get off the plane and get through the airport.

Incheon International was very easy to navigate.  We were out of there in about 1/2 hour even with collecting our luggage, going through immigration and customs and exchanging our money.  I guess people felt sorry for us and people were asking us as we got close to the doors where we were going so they could help.  We knew which bus line, so that helped and Korean Air got us on their limo bus and we took the 85 minute ride to NEAR the hotel and walked another 2-3 blocks to the hotel.  with two kids, two large suitcases and 4 backpacks, we decided we were taking a taxi back to the airport.  I don't care....I'm not dragging poor Jaemin through that.  Chelsi unfortunately thought we were seeing him right away.  It was nice to be able to tell her this morning it's tomorrow now.

We're staying at the Fraser Place Central serviced residences.  It's very nice.  Our reservations didn't go through from the agent, so we were worried for a bit.  But, it was on my eticket so the guy at the front desk gave us a little bigger room for the same price (160,000 won)...about $127/night including two adult breakfasts.  Really cheap for Seoul.  The room is very large.  We have a separate bedroom with a queen and single.  Chelsi and I slept in the queen, Kaelin slept on the couch and Lois slept on the single.  We have tons of shelves and closets everywhere!  Tons of places to keep everything.  We even got two bathrooms.  The floors are hardwood and we really like that.  We have a kitchen, so we're grocery shopping for some things today...just some basics to avoid some meals if we don't have time to stop and eat somewhere.  We'll probably still eat out a lot because we all like Korean (except Chelsi) and I heard it's very inexpensive here in comparison to eating American here.

It's getting closer to breakfast time and then we'll pack what we need to venture out.  Today is just shopping, so we're hitting the markets.

Some pictures of our trip so far are below.  Please continue to pray for our safety while here and the safety of our loved ones still at home.  I'm SO glad we decided to have a friend come with instead of Brian and I bringing all 4 kids.  We were exhausted with the 4 of us.

The trip from Chicago to Korea.  We flew Korean air from Chicago to Incheon (outside of Seoul).  It was a great flight.  I mean as great as a 13 hour flight can be.  The food was good.  There were tvs in the seats, so the girls could watch whatever they want or listen to music or track the flight.  I, sort of, watched 3 movies on the way.  I don't think the girls really watched any, but they watched some Korean kid shows like Pororo.  They listened to some kids music and Chelsi got really loud when she heard the Three Bears song start.  She started singing along.  It was great!



















In Korea!!!









View from the room.

Dear God,

I know our son will come home in your perfect time and only you know exactly when that is, but please let that time be soon.  We're so ready for our son and we are praying hard that we get our call next week and can leave next weekend to hold him.

Please hear our prayer.

(Lois, thanks for lighting the candle.)

Lisa

Passports and Visas and Emigration Permits

Okay, so the passports are ours and the Visa is just an approval so Jaemin can receive his Visa in Korea.

We all received our passports two Mondays ago, except the girls'.  So I called for a couple of days to check on the status and then finally asked to have someone call back.  The lady who processed our other 4 passports called back Friday.  But, by then I had already received the denial I was expecting asking for the girls' adoption decrees to prove they were US citizens.  The lady admitting our paperwork at USPS at the beginning of April refused to take the documents.  So I ran to get the documents mailed that night and sent a check to expedite their passports so we didn't run into any other snags.  But, I did write a note to cancel the checks if they could since it was not our fault.

When the lady called me Friday I told her I had already mailed them to her attention and told her what happened.  She said she would call when everything arrived so I could rest easy.  She just called yesterday to let us know that she had everything and was sending them out to be printed and we would have them in about a week.  AND she voided our checks!  Federal government being nice?  That was awesome!  Saved us $120.

Now for Visas.  As you know we were approved by USCIS for our I600 on 4/20, which is really quick!  NVC (National Visa Center) received the approval on 4/27 and by 4/29 we were logged out of NVC and it was sent to the embassy in Korea.  All this is is an approval saying we're okay from the US' side and telling the embassy that as soon as the Korean agency applies his Visa can be issued to come home.  This doesn't mean we're done.  First a packet is sent from the embassy to the Korean agency to make them aware we're done on this side.  Then, if our son has his passport or approval (emigration permit) the agency can schedule a Visa interview and submit the packet back, get his passport and send him home.  Sounds easy, but it still takes sometime.

I watch other family's posted timelines and for this SWS (our Korean agency) we shouldn't have longer than 2 1/2 weeks left, BUT our home study just left for Korea this week, so I don't know if this will hold us up or not.  The placing agency in NY didn't know either.  She didn't think more than a week, but really didn't know.  Those darn EPs (emigration permits) are a huge mystery to all adoptive families.  So, regardless of the fact that our agency told us travel calls are usually about 4-6 weeks from I600 approval, but have been running 4 weeks, we will just have to wait and see.  I'm still holding out for the 4!  :)

So pray for us.  Hope we can leave that last week of May so Kaelin doesn't have to miss school or summer school to go.  That would be perfect timing in my perfect little world.  :)

Lisa

Birth Families and Adoptees Everywhere

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=6819597

Hopefully this link works.  It's a Good Morning America link to a story of a man that was just past toddler years when his Korean mother had to place him for adoption, after his father passed away.  He then came to live in the US.  He had the opportunity to meet his birthmother and it was so emotional.  Seeing how much older this woman was and getting to meet her son just broke my heart.  I can't begin to imagine how my daughters' birth mothers feel.  Do they miss their baby girls terribly?  I can't imagine they don't.  Will they forgive themselves for their selfless act for their baby girls?  I hope so. 

I pray that, one day, if my daughters want to and choose to search for their birth families, they get to meet their birth families.  I pray, if they want to, they're able to locate them.  I pray all of these hearts, with a missing piece, are made whole again.  I know I can't fix them if they feel a piece missing.  I can just support them to do what they may feel the need to do.

Please pray for all the birthmothers throughout the world who are missing the children they so lovingly placed into adoption.  Please pray these children are loved unconditionally by their adoptive families and given the opportunity to do what they need to to be the person they need to be.

Lisa

Life changes and rearranges

and you have to keep up.

I couldn't sleep anymore and didn't want to wake anyone, so I got out of bed.  I've been googling all morning for something to help Brian gain some more function/strength.  As I was doing this I was thinking about how much our lives have changed.  Not just since his accident, but ongoing changes.  I think outside of anyone's family/relationships people assume other people's lives are better than theirs or perfect.  I know I do sometimes.  It's, most times, impossible to know the complexities in someone else's life.  Never be too quick to judge that person's life.  I have realized, more and more, through our experiences that, like Brian told our son the other night, "if you think you have it bad someone else always has it worse".  VERY TRUE!

I know we have it good.  In the scheme of life and important needs and necessities we have it all.  I think others outside us would think we had a perfect life.  For the most part, a quick judgement would make our lives look extremely easy.  I know that others have had it much harder, but I also know the reality of our life and that it has NEVER been easy.  We've had to constantly adjust to our ever changing rules in life. 

When I thought we'd just get married, have kids and live happily ever after I was wrong.  I would never say life is bad; it's just constantly rearranging my thinking, goals and expectations.  The kid part came hard when our geneticist told us we would most probably not have mentally healthy children.  That was a blow that changed the way I planned to go about having or not having our children.  So, 15 years after she told us that we have 4 children.  They were never easy to have, but we have them just the same.  We just had to reroute our plans on how to have them.

When I thought we'd just have healthy children, I was wrong.  I thought mental health would be our own real obstacle.  When Cole was born with Tet, I was devastated.  My healthy boy wasn't healthy.  He never will be a perfectly healthy child.  To us he is, but when you can't even get him nonrated life insurance you know society doesn't consider him perfectly healthy. 

One more boy with a birth defect, subsequent surgery, and two adoptions later Brian's accident takes the largest toll on our lives.  Our lives have been changed and rearranged for 15 years.  We should be used to it by now, but you never get used to it since it's, obviously, never anything you could plan for.  Not the stuff we've had.  I mean, I can handle sick kids, multiple UTIs on one, annual heart care of another, the 4 surgeries between 2, the birth related issues of another and yes even the seizure, but Brian was hard.  I don't know what it was about the accident; the threat of life, life as we knew it, being separated involuntarily?  I don't know.  I just know we've always been able to work our way through the other stuff with, relatively no issues.  Maybe it's just because those other issues, though large to a lot, they weren't.  We adjusted, we grew stronger.  And while, "we're" fine, it's been a long road and we've still got some road to go.  It changes the way you look at each other.  Your dreams in life become different.  How can they not?  You see your spouse go through something at a, young age, that is hard to watch.  Very few know the residual effects left from the accident.  Most people assume he's 100% again because outwardly he looks that way.  No one knows the hurt he has for himself or I have for him because he doesn't think he'll ever run again or have a comparatively normal muscle strength in areas he's lost.  It's changed what we worry about, think about, dream about. 

He's still new to SCI world.  One year post-injury isn't that long, but when you're in construction and strength and movement is your livelihood, it's a tough one to deal with.  You just want it to be a little more normal everyday and when it stops improving or is improving so slowly you can't really see it, it's harder to take.  We work so hard at our marriage and kids.  Part of all this makes us stronger, but I can't help but think part of it makes me weaker.  I'm a worrier by Type A trade, so this gives me more to worry about through life.  It does make us parent differently, which can be better.  I just hope God gives us the grace in life to continue to deal with life-long changes such as the ones we've had.  I pray He shows us what to do and others continue to give us the chances we need to make it and continue with lives as we knew them. 

And I pray God gives others the chance to see past the outward appearance of someone's life and realize that no one's life is perfect and they are more blessed than what they think.

Sad Day for Shaohannah’s Hope

I was sad to read, after returning from vacation, that Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest daughter was killed.  The organization they set up has been so wonderful and giving to our family and many, many others.  I pray for this family while they grieve and hope they can get through this.

If you would like to donate (tax deductible) to this wonderful organization in memory of their sweet daughter, you can do so here:  https://secure2.convio.net/ccsh/site/Donation2?idb=24118316&df_id=1560&1560.donation=form1&JServSessionIdr007=me33f20jq3.app8b

Lisa

The Journal (and comments) from Brian's Caring Bridge Site

Photos from this journey

In the hospital, three days after surgery.

 

6 Weeks Post Injury and 5 Weeks Post Surgery - Rehab Release

The pup (Lucky) that found us.

Identifying Info from Comments Have Been Removed.

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Welcome to our CaringBridge site. It has been created to keep friends and family updated about our Brian.  This week has just been the week from %@^^. We're slowly getting through everything, but it's difficult. Brian was playing basketball one week ago, as he has for the past 15 years or so, mos Monday nights. He got his legs tangled with another player when he went in for a foul and hit the wall (there was concrete down there and no pads). He was life flighted from there about 1/2 hour later and arrived at the hospital within 15 minutes of lift off. Upon arrival to the hospital, we found he had crushed his C5 vertebrae and fractured his C6 vertebrae. He was supposed to have surgery the next evening because his improvement had plateaued, but he was bumped due to emergencies. In the mean time he, very slightly, improved and the neurologist decided to wait until Friday instead. So for 3 days Brian laid flat on his back letting the trauma to his cord heal a bit and wait for surgery.His surgery went off great on Friday. He now has C4, 5 and 6 fused together. The surgeon, at this point, is thinking he won't need a second surgery for that fractured vertebrae, but they'll do another xray in a couple of weeks to make sure the fusion doesn't slip. So we're holding our breath. Up until late yesterday, the movement he's had has been; full usage of his left leg, his shoulders, elbows and wrists.Pray for us all as we go through this and pray for complete healing of my husband and the father of our four children. We all desperately want him back home with us and miss him terribly.Lisa
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TUESDAY, JANUARY 22, 2008 09:57 PM, CST
This CaringBridge site was created just recently. Please visit again soon for a journal update.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 22, 2008 10:08 PM, CST
Brian's right leg began moving yesterday and a little more today. Still no control over his foot or toes on that side, but his knee bends and with a lot of concentration he can move his leg over a little. Still no improvement on his fingers, although he can squeeze just a tiny bit on his left and can now pick up a large roll of gauze. PT and OT came in today finally, since he didn't get to go to rehab as scheduled and worked him over a bit. He sat up for 25 minutes, which they say is outstanding. They seemed to be very impressed by both what he can do and his determination to do more. I pray that the muscle spasms, tingling, etc. in his non-moving limbs are a good sign as everyone says they are. By the grace of God he never lost feeling, but does feel a little numb in some fingers and toes (furthest extremeties). Everyone says all of this is to be expected.We're trying to remain optimistic that he'll be home soon and be able to settle into our lives once again.Please continue to pray hard for him as he goes through this. He will have good times and bad as have I. They've told us this is normal and we need to lean on others when it settles in on us. I just want my husband home, but know this rehab is his best chance at regaining functions. Now if insurance would just review the stinking request so he can leave the hospital for the rehab hospital, life would be good.Lisa

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 09:07 PM, CST
We got to talk to him tonight. My dad was there and held the phone for him. He said he's all settled into the center and we should find out next week what the game plan is. Tomorrow is more evaluations and tests and Friday he begins his real work. I asked if there was any improvement and he said he is moving his right leg with a little more strength, but still has no strength to pull his right foot up if it drops.He got to talk to the kids tonight and it does all of us good for that. Chels actually had a little bit of a conversation with him. They did their usual animal sounds together. It's starting to hit her harder. The rest of us are just trying to pass the days until we can see him. I get to see him alone Friday....at least that's the plan. So, if you're reading this and planned to go up Friday night, please don't. I just want to sit with him alone. The kids will come up sometime this weekend. I'm not sure which day, but they will spend a good amount of time with their dad as they both need.They did tell him today he would walk again. No one's sure how well, but he will walk. As usual, they say the hands and fingers are the last to come along, so we must be patient, but it IS hard!For now, we just wait for the day when we can all be together permanently and not a disconnected family.Please continue to pray for his progress. We live for these little changes.Lisa

FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2008 10:36 PM, CST
As you can imagine the last couple of days have been terribly busy and I try to spend them with the kids and on the phone with Brian. We're making the most out of little time.As of yesterday, he had a full evaluation and they let him walk with a walker. He said it was really hard and he was mostly stumbling through, but it's progress nonetheless. His right leg's muscles are extremely week so they don't support him very well yet. I got to see him tonight and he looks really good. It's nice to see him not hooked up to things anymore and sitting up. He's in a manual wheelchair, which is great. They're giving him a good work out for him and, in my opinion, a manual means he has a ton of potential or they wouldn't be doing it. He said he's pretty darn sore tonight. All of his muscles hurt and he definitely feels them. We've probably got a long wait for the nerves to his fingers and toes (on his right foot) to grow back and/or heal. I think he's learning way more about the body than he ever thought he'd have to know. He was able to give me a hug as soon as I came in tonight and that felt really good. We really don't do anything other than hold hands and talk, but it so nice to do that. I know he's hurting in so many ways right now. I know he's physically hurting and I know he misses us and I know he worries because he knows I'm sad without him. I miss him terribly and it doesn't seem to get easier. I'm thankful I have him coming back to me as so many people don't in worse situations, but at the time it doesn't feel so good. He's worried 'cause he knows I can't eat right now and I'm trying my best, but my nerves are a mess. I try to be strong, but I'm completely exhausted! It's not easy, even with the help from grandparents, getting kids fed, bathed, house somewhat kept up, bills paid, go to work and try to get time to talk to your husband. I know, again, that there are others who have it worse and I know it's for the most part temporary, but it's still my own reality that I have to deal with for now.I had to tell him tonight that I can't come up alone at night anymore. I want to spend time alone with him, but the drive tonight was hard. I was so tired after work, it was a miracle I made it there and then leaving is hard and even leaving at a decent time, you're just too tired to drive for an hour. I'll have to go up with others so I can see him a couple of times a week. I don't want the weekends with the kids to be it.But, in case anyone was wondering, this is where we're at right now. Thank you all for your prayers and the unbelievable help we've been getting. All of the little things are meaning so much to both Brian and I so we can relieve some stress that we both very much feel. Please keep the prayers coming!Lisa

SATURDAY, JANUARY 26, 2008 09:21 PM, CST
Mom and I brought the kids to see Brian today. They had a hard time sitting around for 4 hours, but I wanted to really let them spend time together. The girls got to sit with him for a bit. I think it did Kae a lot of good. We got to go to one of his therapy visits, which was nice to see what he has to do, but this was a very light one since it was the weekend. I think his right leg is getting very strong, but he said it feels terribly week and definitely cannot support himself on it. I had my leg next to his while he was in his chair and I started knocking my knee against him and he started knocking me back pretty hard. I've never seen anyone with a more positive attitude or someone who tries harder to get better. I always knew he was strong. I got to lay in his bed with him for a little bit today and for just a bit I forgot what was going on and everything felt okay. Then when you go home you realize that it's still the way it is and it does make you a bit sad. After being away from the house for almost two weeks, I worked tonight to get it the way I like it. It makes me feel better. Laundry's actually almost caught up. Mom has done some laundry while I was gone or the kids wouldn't have a stitch to wear. I finally set foot in a grocery store for the first time in two weeks. The boys and I just picked up some quick, easy, healthy snacks that won't go bad. It's amazing now that Brian's not here to eat and I'm not eating much how quickly things go bad. Thanks again to everyone's support. The cards, emails, etc. have been very uplifting. I haven't had time to get Brian to a computer to let him read, but I hope to this week and I think he'll be amazed! We appreciate everyone we've been able to lean on during this time. We wouldn't be able to get through it all without you and we love you all for it.Keep up the prayers. They seem to be slowly working and we'll take all we can get.Lisa

MONDAY, JANUARY 28, 2008 08:35 PM, CST
I will be seeing Brian tomorrow evening (thanks Mic for the ride). I talked to him for a bit today and this evening and he's doing really well. He made some pretty darn good progress today and though we know progress of this magnitude won't be a constant we're extremely thankful for it.He said that when he was walking with the walker at therapy his PT asked him if he was really using the walker. They weren't so sure he was so she put a safety belt on him and he walked on his own. He said a couple of times it was iffy, but he thinks he walked about 60 feet. He promised he'd count the tiles for me tomorrow. :) His right knee is hyperextending since he doesn't have the greatest muscle control yet and his foot still drags, but it's slowly getting better. He said he's even got a little more foot and toe movement on his right today.Brian also began getting out of his wheelchair to a standing position on his own, getting in and out of the simulated apartment bed and even on and off the toilet. Soon, he might get to try all of it for real, which is going to be awesome. He said his fingers on his left hand are moving a little more. He has enough grasp to hold a fork without the handstrap. To honor his wife's wishes he will use the handstrap on his right hand tomorrow to begin trying that. However, they said today he has no triceps on his right side and they can't feel any muscle movement for what should be pulling his fingers. We're still hoping something will come back with time, but there's no given.For his injury, at this level, he has done outstanding. We're very fortunate for what he has gotten back and as quickly as it has come back. A lot of people who get this sort of movement back takes months to do so....not days. I found out his ASIA score was D, which is unbelievable. That puts him at better odds, which may explain his recovery so far.Please continue to pray as we know they're working and we're living for them. His little updates to me (as little as they sometimes are) is what makes my day. When I talk to him for a few minutes my worries don't feel like they're quite so overwhelming. I'd like him back, but I know this progress there is going to continue and we have to do without him a bit longer for him. Pray hard....storm the Heavens.....He'll listen.Lisa

TUESDAY, JANUARY 29, 2008 09:49 PM, CST
I have nothing to update as far as Brian's progress. He's pretty much the same as yesterday, but I got to see it. We're keeping up the hope that someday most of his function will return, but only God knows and we have to trust Him to take care of us.The reason I logged in tonight is to post our little financial miracle. This may not sound like a lot, but it was too ironic not to post. Brian's car had an antifreeze leak and the week he got hurt was when it was supposed to get fixed. Jay brought the car there for us and we found out it was worse than we thought. The radiator also had a leak. Our mechanic called me today to let me know the car was ready and it was $599.98. Today, and I kid you not, various people gave us cash to help out totalling $600 even. This was just a little reminder to me that He is watching us and will take care of us. I just have to keep my faith even as hard as it's being tested.Keep praying.....He's listening.Lisa

THURSDAY, JANUARY 31, 2008 08:08 PM, CST
Nothing major to update. Brian still says he's getting stronger everyday. He did get some pool therapy yesterday and he said that felt really good and gave his muscles a good burn. Everything from here out is such a wait and see. Wait and see what comes back. Wait and see how strong. We're all trying to wait patiently.Things on the homefront have been good. We're getting into a new routine and everyone's been great about bringing food. I think I have food for the next few days which makes our nights so much easier. The kids are doing good and of course, we have Jay and everyone else to help out. Hopefully the next 3 weeks will go quickly and be very productive for Brian.I taped Oprah today and it gives a lot of hope to hear Kevin Everett's story. I know his isn't exactly the same in that they explained his vertebrae were dislocated and Brian's were shattered, but Kevin's were higher (C3/C4) and trauma to the cord is trauma....overall. I hope Brian comes out as functional as Kevin. I was really surprised to see the amount of movement Kevin had. Of course, being a football player probably gave him a good up on getting great therapy. Hopefully, the next months of Brian's will be as good.Keep praying.Lisa

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 02, 2008 06:01 PM, CST
We got to go see Brian today. His fingers on his left hand were amazing. I have to admit I was a little disappointed Tuesday. I don't know what I was thinking, but I guess when he said they moved I expected a lot more than was really humanly possible. I just wanted it so bad. But, today, they really moved. He could move them individually!His right side (fingers and triceps) are still not responding. They're going to start trying FES this week and see if his fingers will eventually respond. This electrical stimulation will send a signal to his brain that there are still limbs there that need to move. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't, but we're remaining hopeful. He looks good and was giving Megan a hard time, so like she said, he's back to normal. He's having his annual Super Bowl party tomorrow, just a little smaller and in the hospital. I'm not going, but his buddies are and it will be nice for him.We've had some kinks at home as well. You know how it is....when it rains it pours. Our daycare emailed to say she needs the kids picked up by 4:15 daily for awhile and well, that just can't happen unless I rely on other people daily when I pay her daily for a 'til 5:00. Because of that the kids will be going to Brian's moms. She has agreed to take them and help us out. I went back to our daycare to get our February check back (for the entire month) and write a new check for two weeks notice and she said we owed her two weeks vacation on top of two weeks notice for vacation she's never taken in two years. We've only been there for 18 1/2 months. Not to mention I have taken off for her to be off. At least now, we know where the kids will be daily and we have no worries. That in itself, is worth a lot.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 04, 2008 08:40 PM, CST
Still no changes as far as what's moving, but he had his cath removed today. Now, they're really bladder and bowel training. He's no longer hooked up to anything, which is great for the chance to have independence again. So far today, his nurse told me he's done really, really well! Three weeks on a cath is hard on the muscles in the body. He said he asked the PT how far he walked today and she said about 1500 feet. That's a long dang way. After he walked all that she put him on the stair climber and he said it didn't kick his butt this time, so he's obviously getting pretty strong. They did FES therapy on him today. He said his muscles reacted in his fingers and triceps, so we have to just wait and see. Hopefully, one day, they'll come back, but there's no way to know. I'm bringing his disability continuation papers up this week for the doc to fill out. That will keep that coming for a bit longer....depending on whether the doc says he's partially or fully disabled and for how long. We fully trust the doctors there and they seem to know Brian's potential, so we go with it. In any case, he'll be home soon and we can get on with phase 2 of our lives with SCI.Lisa
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WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 06, 2008 09:43 PM, CST
We had a family team meeting today. This included Brian and I, the staff pyschologist, PT (the OT was sick), the attending and the resident, as well as his primary rehab nurse and case manager. We got to ask any questions we had and they told us what they thought so far. His injury is just over 3 weeks old and every one of them are amazed at the progress that has already been made. The doctor said it helps a little that the impace was running (basketball) and not thrown, such as the speed from a car. But, the trauma can be similar. He's coming out at a fairly quick speed as far as gains. The doctor also told us that 100% recovery is not a reality with SCI, but he feels 90-95 is well within realm of reason for Brian. He felt he was already at 70-75% with still 2 1/2 weeks in therapy to go. He will NOT have to return inpatient. He can continue everything at home because he's doing so well. He just has to return for some follow up visits. We don't know the meds or DME products he'll need yet. They have an idea, but until closer to discharge they have a lot of possible changes. The PT seems to think he'll need very little as his endurance is very high. Balance needs a little work, but she said it's improved drastically in the last week. They're already testing him on uneven walking surfaces and stairs. He rides the stationary 3 miles and still uses the stair climber and other therapies after that. That's more than I could do.They told us it's going to be another adjustment when he arrives home because this has been the biggest thing to happen in our lives, but they obviously don't know us very well. I don't doubt things will change, but we will make things work. Not to mention the support we have. I doubt everyone has the support we've been given over the weeks. Now for the big news. Don't get your hopes up too far because it's really early and weak and there's just no way to know if it will progress, but we think there's a good possibility. He moved his right fingers last night and more today. I got to see them and his thumb took a lot, but it moved quite a bit. His other fingers are starting to curl when he wants them to a little as well. They thought today his tricep might have moved, but they're not 100% sure on that one. It could have been his shoulder muscles as they're extremely strong, but they think it was his tricep waking up. This is big. He has almost every muscle doing at least something and this is very early in the game, so this gain is HUGE!He will have a lot of strengthening to do once he gets home and I have no doubt he will work hard. Hopefully, he can even start driving once his neck brace is removed....that's what they're telling us at least. No plans for the future, just day by day.Lisa

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 06, 2008 09:53 PM, CST
Oh, just so anyone who plans to visit knows. He won't be there on the 16th. We're taking him out for the day.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 07, 2008 07:08 PM, CST
Little miracles today. Nothing to do with Brian's progress, but calls I got that made us happy. The girl that normally cuts his hair, called to see if she could cut it while he was in the hospital. She said she'd be in the area anyways and has done this before. That's great, 'cause he's late! :)I had to call Brian's work to find out what insurance they were going to have in March. The long of the short is that they were getting ready to change companies in February, but due to the accident they kept the coverage for another month to cover his inpatient rehab. We knew this coverage was expensive for his employer so they were going to go ahead and change in March so that's what his outpatient therapy, etc. would fall under. I called today to get his outpatient stuff going and they are keeping the same insurance for the rest of the year to help us out. This means he's met his deductible already. Luckily, me and the kids are on mine, so he just has an indivdual deductible, so this is BIG. This was such great news to hear. They are really doing everything to take care of us and a lot of employers would not do this. They, of course, were thrilled when I updated them on his progress.Then, last night I had mentioned to a guy he works with that we need to get Brian a new lab pup for while he's home for a couple of months to keep him busy and it would be great training/bonding time for a new duck dog. I said I'd been looking for a free one, but hadn't seen one yet. Chris asked what color and I said black, just like our older one. He called today to tell me that when he walked into clock in there was an email hanging up next to the time cards that said there was a 10 week old black lab that needed a home ASAP or it would be put down. We're picking him up tomorrow! I hadn't okayed it with Brian yet, but I called tonight to make sure it was okay and he was thrilled! He's been wanting a new duck dog for awhile and he said even if he's not trainable he loves the idea of having a pup around while he's home. This will be good for all of us and I think the pup needed us as bad as we needed him.So that's today's update. A little different than the usual, but it's interesting to watch God's work here. It started off so bad and we were all so scared and it's working things out in different ways. It always has before, I don't know why I worry sometimes, but I guess it's human to be scared.God is listening.Lisa

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 08, 2008 09:28 PM, CST
Go to the photos and check out Brian's therapy for when he gets home. The close up isn't a great picture, but he's a great looking pup. He's gonna love this dog.Lisa

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2008 10:29 PM, CST
We're dwindling down on visits...YAY! Anita brought me up tonight, but she didn't lie about going to Sam's (Mic). He's getting really excited about our day out this weekened. More excited about busting out next week! He did squeeze my thumb with his right hand as I always have him do.....I don't let him squeeze with his left anymore 'cause it hurts like you know what. I could actually feel the squeeze with his right this time.He said they're sure his tricep is starting to work. He can't completely keep his hand from hitting his head if he raises his arm, but he can control it enough to slow it down. His hand doesn't look as tired when he opens and closes it repeatedly either. He even wrote a note to me on my Valentine's card with his left hand. It may have taken him awhile, but it was pretty neat. It was nice to go up on Valentine's Day. Thanks so Anita for bringing me and Nancy for getting Brian some cards to pick from for me.When it was time to go he walked me to the lobby. Yep, that's right, no chair. His PT said as long as he's inside and careful he can go on his own now. He's got a pretty good gait. Only if you watch real close can you tell that his right foot doesn't flow as fluidly as his left which is completely natural and when he tries to hard he looks like he's strutting. :) I'm still amazed as is everyone at the hospital. They said very few people get these kinds of returns at all, let alone in such a short period of time. He truly has gained so much and has all the hope in the world for what we had to be back. We just have a new found appreciation for life and are just thankful for everything we do have. We are the luckiest people ever.Lisa
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THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2008 09:23 PM, CST
This is it. Our last night without my husband and the kids' dad. It was nice having our nightly talk and not worrying about when we'll talk tomorrow. The weather will probably cause it to take me longer to get to him, but he's packed and ready to go. The kids are so ready to see him home. No more small talking with him. I can just see him and get tired of him like before. :) Send him on his way fishing....that's as sportsman as I'm gonna be letting him get for awhile. I think we have everything as prepared as we can right now. Amy made us some soup and Jay's mom made us some lasagna, so we're good with food for a bit and Brian's aching to get into the kitchen again. We have a hog in the freezer now, so finally we have food again. I just have to stop tomorrow and get him some night lights for the bathrooms, so there's not tripping around the house. I can't think of what he called the test, but he got a 55 out of 56. I think it means he's basically staple to sit and stand/function on his own. He said the nurse has all his paperwork ready to go, so hopefully as soon as I get there....shortly after anyways, I can spring him.Thanks for all the prayers we've gotten here from around the states. We've truly appreciated them. Now just pray that I can get him home safely in this nasty weather tomorrow.Lisa

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2008 09:31 PM, CST
BTW, I just added a picture from the hospital....not rehab, so it's about 1 month old. I'll eventually get a new picture of him up and about....even if it is with the neck brace still.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2008 03:30 AM, CST
We made it home safely. It took a little bit longer to drive since the passing lane wasn't cleared at all and then it started snowing again, but it really wasn't too bad......it wasn't icing, right. We didn't get back to town until about 11:30, by the time he said good bye to all of the staff and we got every bit of paperwork we needed to go on. When we got back he wanted to go to work and say thank you for all they'd done and that took a bit. We went to DMV and got a handicap tag for the bad days. Then we went to Target to try to fill his scripts....oh my was that a mistake. They're usually super quick and we had to go there to get him a yoga ball and weights anyways, so we thought it made sense....wrong. They told us they were behind when we got there even though the scripts had been there for over 2 hours. We went and picked up the stuff we needed and came back and waited some more and finally she says "oops....we ran out of labels". They had no idea when they would get the problem fixed and if you have no labels they can send you home with a prescription. So we asked for the scripts back and went to Gerbes. Brian waited in the car this time. He was pretty tired. It only took 1/2 hour there to drop off and wait, so that wasn't near as bad as I thought they'd be. They're usually terribly busy. So we were able to get our groceries we absolutely needed first.We had so much stuff to put away when we got home. We weren't done with everything until 4:00. It just felt nice to get all of his stuff from the hospital back in it's place and begin settling in. We couldn't even get out of our driveway once we got home. It had snowed enough after I left in the morning to make our driveway bad enough to need shoveling to get out since it's so steep. Not to worry....I just called Joe and he picked the kids up and brought them to us. Thanks Joe! We had a nice easy night. We put the lasagne that Mary made in the oven, cleaned up and were able to lay around and enjoy the evening. No late phone call to the hospital. That was so nice. It's good to be home. We'll see what each new day brings. He's still got quite a bit of work on that right side. Other than having quite a lot of function in his left leg he has pretty typical Brown Sequard Syndrome. Hopefully the new hand therapist he'll get next week can help him out, but they don't have FES treatment, so he won't have that advantage. The doctor also gave us paperwork to read over about a drug in clinical trials, but I'm not sure yet. We haven't had time to read the info and when it's still in clinicals, they don't know ALL the side effects yet and will those be worse than the alternative of the function he doesn't quite have. That's what the drug is meant to help with and he said it's showing to be pretty promising, but there's always a tradeoff....almost always. They said it doesn't matter if we wait and decide or do it now, the results should still be the same, so we'll probably wait and see what comes back with a little more time. 5 weeks post-injury isn't long. Most of what you'll get back can still very easily happen for another 2 months and then you can still get some more for another year. We'll probably see how we feel about the drug in 2 months or so and how his finger function is. That's really the only major things that's left as far as what the drug will help and he just got them back a little over a week ago, so he can progress yet on his own. I'm not a big drug person unless the alternative to not taking it is worse, but that may not necessarily be the case for him since he's doing so well. Also, I know they say it's good to have the spasms, but sometimes I wish he were healed enough for them to go away. I hate watching him freeze up everytime he gets up for the first time and watching his hand and leg and back on his right side just stiffen up. I hate thinking that it might hurt at all. I know that's nothing considering, but I so badly want to see him better.Thanks again for the prayers. We're together again and the kids are thrilled! Chels wouldn't hardly let him go last night. It was great! BTW, I thought this was kinda funny. You can never get your kids to do anything for you and our 11 year old is no different, but he was so anxious for dad to come home that when I got up yesterday morning at 6:30 he had already gotten up and salted our driveway so I could get the van out. How good is that?!Lisa

SATURDAY, MARCH 01, 2008 09:36 AM, CST
Brian's been home one week. We are starting our own routine. It's so nice to have another parent in the house again....and adult. He started outpatient therapy this week and it should continue through March. We're not sure after that. He may be well enough to do exercises at home. Hopefully, in the next couple of months he will return to work part-time. He wants to badly, but he gets tired pretty quickly. He has to build his stamina back up. That's probably the hardest part right now. On another good note, right before he came home his aunt and uncle were nice enough to process a hog for us. We needed one pretty bad as our freezer was empty! We're still getting cards from folks which is so nice. Even the kids' school gave us a card and a gift card the other night when I took Kae up there for kindergarten round up. We never in a million years expected this, nor have we expected any of the extreme kindness we've received over the past 2 months. We really are doing okay now and things will be okay. We know that. We just have to adjust our lives to the event. Adjust to Brian walking very slowly, not writing (very well anyways and slow), some pain and spasms, etc. Things that do keep him from the life he had, but we will adjust and have been. Hopefully, it will get much better as far as his abilities, but you can never know an dwe're taking what we've got and thankful for it.Lisa

TUESDAY, MARCH 04, 2008 07:06 PM, CST
Brian had his follow up visit with the surgeon. It's about 6 weeks or so post surgery and about 7 weeks post accident. This is the first time the surgeon has seen him in about a month. He was pretty darn impressed to see this many returns in 7 weeks. We also asked if he could drive and/or if he needed any sort of evaluation first, but he said he definitely is fine to drive. So he drove us home today. That was "my" little drivers test for him. He did fine, btw. Brian's pretty excited to be able to drive already. We were thinking closer to May.He also got his neck brace off already. That one really surprised us. He said he still has to be pretty careful and if his neck gets tired or anything he needs it back on for a bit, so we're keeping it around. He can't put his head too far down and isn't supposed to make any sudden side to side movements yet, but he can start building up the strength in his neck muscles. Brian says he has a pencil neck now.This is good to have another parent that can run some errands, of course he has to abide my "my" rules for a bit. :) I'm a little over protective, I know, but oh well.Lisa
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Guestbook

TUESDAY, JANUARY 22, 2008 10:37 PM, CST
Thinking of both of you. I am looking forward to more amd more positive outcome posts, Lisa. I know it is scary for both of you. Keep yourself well and GET SOME SLEEP!Cheryl from the Holt BB

Cheryl D

TUESDAY, JANUARY 22, 2008 10:44 PM, CST
Lisa and Brian,I am an old Holt BB member, now an addicted lurker. I've been looking for your updates every day, and praying for you both. I truly believe there are no mistakes in this life, and I hope you will be able to find peace of mind as you continue to figure out where life is taking you both. Prayers for continued healing, both physically and emotionally.Julie 
TUESDAY, JANUARY 22, 2008 11:37 PM, CST
We are members of the Dillon family- glad to see you post today! We are praying for full recovery, and for your family to be united again soon! John Luke & CourtneyS

courtney s
TUESDAY, JANUARY 22, 2008 11:53 PM, CST
Hi Lisa & Brian! I have been following your journey on the Holt BB. Many prayers being said for a fast and speedy recovery. If there is anything at all we can do please let us know.

Sarah
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 02:59 AM, CST
Lisa,I was shocked to hear about Brian's accident. I'm so sorry for all the fear, anxiety, sadness, and separation you guys have experienced. I'll be praying for a wonderful peace that only God can provide, and especially for healing!Libby(Dillon family)

libby s

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 03:11 AM, CST
Hi Lisa,I have been following your story with the Holt BB. I can somewhat relate to what you are going through. Last July my 4 year old little boy was diagnosed with leukemia. Things like this change your life forever. I am praying your family finds your new normal quickly and that Brian will be back at home soon. I have learned to truly take things one day at a time. God has performed many miracles throughout treatment with our son so far, and we are believing and trusting that God will see us through the rest of the 2.5 years of chemo. I am praying for your whole family, but as the primary caregiver to your husband and your children, I am praying specifically that God will give you a peace that can only come from Him. It is amazing how much strength and motivation you can have when you are put to the test. May Brian recover quickly and be a living testimony to even more miracles from God.Lisa mom to Keelan, Kylei, Keédance, Kambryn (diagnosed 7/19/07 with pre-B Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia), and Kohminwww.caringbridge.org/visit/kambryn

Lisa L

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 06:30 AM, CST
I've been keeping you all in my prayers since reading about Brian's accident on the Holt BB. I'll keep praying for his full recovery. (((HUGS)))

NJ Karen

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 09:28 AM, CST
We are all praying for your family on the Bethany BB. Prayers for guidence and patience during this long process. May God guide you and keep you during this journey to health.Tami

TAMI W

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 09:36 AM, CST
Sending lots of prayers from New Jersey !!!!Hugs,LisaNJ from the Holt BB

Lisa G
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 09:44 AM, CST
Thinking of you, Brian, and your entire beautiful family as he recovers. KEEPING YOU ALL IN MY PRAYERS!! Sending get well wishes from Jersey! Mommy2HaileynJosh on the Holt BB

Jolie D.
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 11:05 AM, CST
Lisa and family - We are thinking of you daily. We are praying for a quick recovery and peace in any life changes that may occur.Jennifer in MT (Holt) and JenniferJo (Dillon)

Jennifer J

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 11:31 AM, CST
Praying for healing for Brian and peace for your whole family.Linda (Robin'sNest from Holt BB)

Linda C

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 02:56 PM, CST
Lisa,Sending warm wishes from Florida for a quick recovery!!BetsyinFL from the Holt Board

Betsy G
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 04:35 PM, CST
Hope today is a better day and he gets moved to the new place soon.Tami

TAMI W

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 07:26 PM, CST
Lisa,Your husband, you and your family are in my prayers. My dh plays basketball every week and we are so saddened by what has happened. Keep us posted so lots of people out here can pray for you all.Tricia (TrishNY from Holt bb)

tricia p

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 08:58 PM, CST
Lisa,Lots of continued prayers for Brian and your family. Thanks for making this site. I think about you guys all the time.AmyH(Dillon Mommy to Kaden and Kacie)

Amy

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 09:12 PM, CST
Our thoughts & prayers are with you all ~ and we hope each day Brian is better & better.Jane

Jane C
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 2008 09:17 PM, CST
Brian, Lisa and Family - I continue to give praise to God for the big progress made in every single little movement and step! Thank you for letting your faith be real...even during the hard times. Praying Friday will be "magical" gift from God - to heal some pain and re-connect! Continuing to pray in W MichiganRowen

Wendy ABCDEFG
THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2008 07:35 AM, CST
Each update sounds more encouraging. Brian seems to be making good progress although I know it is hard to be patient when all you want is for him to be better and to come home. Know that your whole family is in our prayers and we are sending positive vibes to you all!Kathy (loveourboys, Holt BB)

Kathy R

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2008 07:35 AM, CST
Sending you lots of prayers and hugs from another Holt family at the Jersey Shore. We've been following your journey and celebrate each milestone with you. Wishing you strength on this difficult journey.

Gloria and Harry A
THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2008 07:41 AM, CST
Each update sounds more encouraging. Brian seems to be making good progress although I know that it is hard to be patient when all you want is for him to be better and to come home. We continue to keep your whole family in our prayers and will continue to send positive vibes your way!Kathy (loveourboys, Holt BB)

Kathleen R
THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2008 09:58 AM, CST
Dear Lisa,I am so encouraged to read about Brian's progress.Praying for a complete recovery and for strength for you and your children.Hugs,Kelly

Kelly H

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2008 10:03 AM, CST
So glad Brian is in the center now. I'm sure he will work real hard and be very determined. Praying that you keep the strength. Praying for your family. Have a great weekend with your children and Brian.Hugs and prayers,Kristine (NJ03 from BB)

Kristine P

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2008 10:48 AM, CST
My mother had a dens fracture on the C2 from a automobile accident in 2004. She spent 5 weeks there. She made incredible progress, especially for a 71 year old woman. I believe miracles happen every day there. The staff is so skilled and caring. With God leading them, Brian couldn't be in better hands. Keep the faith and laugh when you can. My prayers are with your family.

Marguerite H

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2008 02:08 PM, CST
Brian, sorry we haven't been able to get up there to see you. Know this, you're in our prayers daily, along with Lisa and the kids. I talked to your mom a little while ago and she's holding up well. Keep your good attitude and it will aide in your recovery. Now is the time to be selfish and only think of yourself, so do it. Take care of you. Love: Leroy, Leigh Ann, Eric & Adam

Leigh Ann F
FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2008 02:57 PM, CST
Hey Lisa,Sorry I haven't contacted you earlier. I didn't know when it would be a good time to try and call you. We have been praying for you all and for Brian to make a quick, full recovery. I know how hard it is to not have all your family together day to day. If we can help in any way, Please let me know...I will be home the next two times the kids get out of school early and are off. in Feb. Take care of yourselves and give me call anytime if you need anything or to just talk.Julie, Ben, Josh, Kaitlyn and Hannah W

Julie W
FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2008 03:03 PM, CST
Brian: Your Mom has told us of the progress that you are making at Rusk. We are rooting for you! Keep up the good work. You are in our thoughts and prayers!

Sharon R
FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2008 03:11 PM, CST
Brian,You know we have been worried sick about you. W e have been saying lots of prayers for you. Hope you are up & around real soon. We are going to try to see you this weekend. Keep your spirits up. God still has plans for you. Love, Norman & Brenda

BRENDA F
SATURDAY, JANUARY 26, 2008 08:15 AM, CST
Brian and Lisa,I just received an email from a family member telling me what had happened to Brian. My first thought was it had to be a different Brian, but after receiving this email, I know it isn't. Your family is in our prayers and please let me know if there is anything we can do for you. I know the kids don't know us well, but I would be glad to take care of them for a while. Also, Lisa, please call if you need anything. If you need a ride there sometime, please let me know, I could always find something to do while you are at the hospital with him. I know what you guys are going through having gone through Cale's issues recently and I know that friends and family are very important at this time, so please don't hesitate to contact us for help.Take care,Sarah L

Sarah L
SATURDAY, JANUARY 26, 2008 10:55 AM, CST
Hey Lisa and Brian, I just wanted to let you know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. If any couple can get through this victoriously, I know it will be you two. Stay strong and be assured you have many prayers. Keep pressing on and know God is in control. Much love, Belinda

Belinda B
SATURDAY, JANUARY 26, 2008 12:33 PM, CST
Hi Lisa & Family! Way to go Brian on the progress you are making, that is AWESOME! Many hugs and prayers being sent your way. Take care and again if there is anything you need or I can do please just let me know.

Sarah
SATURDAY, JANUARY 26, 2008 06:42 PM, CST
Brian and Lisa, I am so excited for the progress. I am continuing to pray for your whole family thru this, as well as financial freedom, complete healing and comfort from The God of all!!

Wendy Rowen
SATURDAY, JANUARY 26, 2008 09:21 PM, CST
Lisa,Thanks for posting the latest on Brian. Even though the recovery so far has been painful, every small step is a victory, and that makes me smile. I'm encouraged by what you've written so far. Please keep updating when you can, and know that MANY people are keeping your family in their prayers.{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} from Texas.

Cathy TX
SATURDAY, JANUARY 26, 2008 09:27 PM, CST
Hi Lisa,Thanks for giving us the link to keep up with and pray foryour dh's recovery. I'm still praying for your whole family.

Carrie Holt BB
SATURDAY, JANUARY 26, 2008 11:26 PM, CST
Keep Going Brian!!!Your positive attitude is apparent in Lisa's update. So glad you saw your kids today. Praying for you and thinking of you often,Amy, Ryan, Kaden and Kacie (Dillon Family)

Amy Hoselton
SUNDAY, JANUARY 27, 2008 06:12 AM, CST
Lisa and Brian, I was in tears regarding the knee knocking, the time to lay in bed and feel like "normal" for awhile...what precious, precious gifts. And Brian for his courag....precious gifts from our gracious God! I continue to pray and am glad you're sharing this burden so that we can continue to wrap you in love and prayers!

Wendy Rowen
SUNDAY, JANUARY 27, 2008 11:36 AM, CST
Lisa and Brian,Margie W. called me last week to let me know about the accident. After my initial shock and sadness I realized that if any family can pull through this it is yours! Brian has alot of determination and will power and Lisa will rally to support him as much as humanly possible while he heals. With all the prayers and devoted energy of your extensive network of family and friends you two will make it through this! I know it is hard for the kids to understand what is going on right now however they will adjust and be OK.Take careMeg L (Dillon)

Meg L
SUNDAY, JANUARY 27, 2008 03:05 PM, CST
Lisa,Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your whole family at this time. May God bless you all!Kellie D (Dillon family)

Kellie D

SUNDAY, JANUARY 27, 2008 07:47 PM, CST
Brian-Lisa, When I opened this page and saw the heading "One Step at a Time, I thought how fitting. One step at a time is how your family will overcome and persevere. Brittney and I will continue to keep you in our prayers. Lisa- if you need anything please give me a call. Hang Tough!!Lois

Lois S
MONDAY, JANUARY 28, 2008 07:47 AM, CST
Brian- You and your family have been in our prayers. We have been kept updated by your mom and mutual friends and are so happy to hear about your progress! I'm sure the rehab is physically and mentally difficult, but it sounds like you have a fantastic attitude and outlook right now and the end result will be worth it. Keep it up because we look forward to hearing more good news!Matt and Sarah

Sarah S
TUESDAY, JANUARY 29, 2008 07:30 AM, CST
WOW!!! You're last update was wonderful news. I'm so glad things are going well. I'll make sure and pass the word along to Lawrence & Lillian this evening. Our best only to you, Lisa, Brian and the kids. Our prayers are always with you all. Take care of you and if you need anything at all just call me. Leigh Ann, Leroy & the boys

Leigh Ann F

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 30, 2008 06:49 AM, CST
Brian, I am praising God and just thrilled for all the fast progress you are making! I am praising Him for how hard you are working and for keeping your eyes on Him, with your head up. Lisa, Brian and family - praise God also for the recent update of the finances! I continue to pray for financial freedom and WOW - God answered right away! I continue to pray as well as pray for complete healing, for encouragement thru the storm and peace in your hearts. I am still so sorry (lack of real words to fit this) for this time you are facing, but I praise Him for your courage and strength...and ask Him to provide more in abundance!Love from Michigan!

Wendy Rowen
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 03, 2008 02:41 AM, CST
I just wanted to say we are continually praying for you Brian... you are strong and you will get thru this, both you and your family. Lisa, keep your chin up. I keep reaching for the phone, but then I think I'm going to be a bother and I know you are probably already being bombarded with phone calls. Just remember, Dwayne and I are thinking of you guys. I will keep checking on this website to keep track of Brian's progress. Amy and Dwayne

Amy V(fl)

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 03, 2008 01:01 PM, CST
Hey Brian,We are cheering you on from the land of OZ. My fiancee' (Lisa) and I were just reading up on your progress and it sounds like you are battling hard and making great progress. Lisa and I are continuously praying for you full recovery and our families have been saying prayers as well.I really enjoyed visiting with you the other day and had some good laughs remembering back and hearing about some of your funny stories. Keep up the great attitude and hold your head high because you have already accomplished a lot in the little time since the accident.Lisa - as I mentioned to Carolyn, my company supplies medical equipment and we deliver a lot of things to the facility, so if there is anything that they need for Brian, please call me, we do not carry everything, but we have a variety. I would be glad to help if I can, especially if it comforts Brian in any way. Brian I hope you have a good time with your friends watching the Superbowl, I will speak to you soon. Love,Brent and Lisa

Brent F

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 05, 2008 08:29 AM, CST
BRIAN,SO GLAD TO HEAR YOU ARE GETTING STRONGER. WE PRAY FOR YOU DAILY THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO GET UP & KICK SOME BUTT ONE OF THESE DAYS SOON.I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME AT YOUR SUPER BOWL PARTY. IT WAS AN AWESOME GAME ESPECIALLY THE LAST QUARTER. I LOVED SOME OF THE COMMERCIALS. THE BIGGG RAT GOING FOR THE DORITOS WAS HILARIOUS.LISA, IF THERE IS ANYTHING WE CAN DO, PLEASE LET US KNOW.TAKE CARE & GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY,LOVE, NORMAN & BRENDA

BRENDA F

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 06, 2008 09:25 PM, CST
Sounds like things are improving slowly but surely. I know it seems like a long road but at any minute you could turn the corner and see something breathtakingly beautiful. May Brian keep improving on a daily basis. Our family is thinking of you.

Cheryl D

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 07, 2008 09:35 AM, CST
Brian and Lisa, I felt like I was holding my breathe, then let it out and then let some tears slide....so many wonderful emotions as I see God working....not only as the Great Healer but also as the Faithful Sustainer of your family....I continue to pray in W Michigan!

Wendy Rowen

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 08, 2008 09:42 PM, CST
What a cutie. I'm sure he will be a great motivation for the whole family. Continuing to pray for your family.

TAMI BethanyBB

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 08, 2008 09:49 PM, CST
He's ADORABLE ~ Brian is going to love training him and the kids will love him too.Hugs to you all,Jane, Jay & Jared C

Jane C
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2008 08:24 AM, CST
Keeping you in our prayers for continued healing. Praying all is going well for your family.http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/nickwood

TAMI Bethany BB
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2008 10:35 AM, CST
Hi Brian! Long time no see. I heard about your accident and have been very worried about you and your family. I am so glad that Lisa is putting updates on the computer on a regular basis. I have been reading the updates and talking with Amy V about your progress. It sounds like you are working very hard to make things happen quickly, which doesn't surprise me at all. You have always been one of the most determined people I know. Please know that there are many people praying for you and your family and rooting for a full recovery. Keep your head up high, and I can't wait to see you at our 8th grade reunion in May (if not before). Tina

Tina P

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2008 06:49 AM, CST
THANK YOU GOD!I keep praying for you, Brian, for a miracle...for complete healing and God is doing it!Lisa, that's probably one of the best Valentine's ever, huh?!Praising and still praying, to the Ultimate Healer!

Wendy Rowen
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2008 07:10 AM, CST
What a wonderful update! Your family must be ecstatic over your progress. I'm so happy for all of you!Our family will keep you in our prayers as you continue on your road to recovery!Kathy (loveourboys, Holt BB)

Kathy R

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2008 08:57 AM, CST
I use to work with Brian and was devastated when I heard about what happened. Austin has been keeping me up on his progress, and I just heard about this website. I wish Brian and his family the best and know things will work out cause Brian's too stubborn to let this keep him down.

brad

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 2008 05:27 PM, CST
Family and Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. It's amazing the obstacles the good lord challenges us with. You all will get through this. If you need anything just give us a call we'll be there.

Jason and Jenn S
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2008 07:52 AM, CST
Way to go Brian! You're an inspiration for everyone, we pray that you stay motivated and continue your speedy recovery!Love, Jacob, Jennifer, Alex, Mya and Adah Z

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2008 04:51 PM, CST
I was so hoping for an update.....but maybe it'll come from HOME!I continue to pray that homecoming is as planned...TOMORROW!

Wendy Rowen
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2008 09:36 PM, CST
WOOOHOOO! I am so glad you are getting spring Brian tomorrow! I am thrilled for your family. I can't wait to hear all about his homecoming and what the kids think! Have a great day tomorrow!

Matt Sarah Jaxson Hannah
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2008 10:28 PM, CST
Awesome Brian.....glad to hear you're going home! That's wonderful. Take care and keep up the steady pace you've been setting for yourself. I'll be seeing you all in May for the reunion! Amy and Dwayne

amy v (fl)

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2008 06:26 AM, CST
PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!SO THRILLED YOU'RE GOING HOME TODAY!YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Wendy Rowen
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2008 08:26 AM, CST
WELCOME HOME!Thx for sharing your heart, I cannot imagine watching my beloved dh struggle like that..Continuing to pray! And praising God for the progress thus far!

Wendy Rowen
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2008 08:55 AM, CST
Welcome Home Brian! Thanks for the update Lisa!

Matt Sarah Jaxson Hannah
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2008 06:53 PM, CST
Still {{{{{PRAYING}}}} for your family, Lisa...I'm so happy Brian is home and progressing well. Keep us posted.Love, Cathy

Cathy TX

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2008 08:57 AM, CST
Lisa I am so happy to hear Brian is home and doing so well. I had lost your site in a computer crash and had to post on the Holt BB to get it again. Your family has been in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to be.Corrin Ia Holt BB friend

Corrin Blandin
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 2008 12:51 AM, CST
So glad that you are home and out of the snow!!! We think of you everyday and know Brian will keep making tremendous strides!

Cheryl D

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 05, 2008 10:12 AM, CST
WOOOOOOOOOOOOW!Speechless!! I have continued to pray for miracles in his healing and God keeps providing!And Lisa, you should be a little extra protective - wink.GREAT UPDATE! THANK YOU!Praying alongside your family,Wendy

Wendy Rowen
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 05, 2008 03:59 PM, CST
Lisa - I just read a note you posted on the forum...I had no idea. I'm so sorry you all have had to go through this and I wish I could have done something. What I could do from down here in Texas I don't know (lol) but I still feel bad that my friend was going through hard times and I was clueless. We love your family!! I pray that every day brings more improvements and lots of love and laughter for all of you!Love,The Weldys