Can I? Should I?

Choices in parenting are hard!  They don’t always have to be. There are definitely things you can do to make life easier as a parent. Organize your week and take offers to help are just a couple. 

But sometimes parenting is just hard and you can’t press the easy button. You can’t just let kids have whatever they want because it keeps the peace at the moment and because you have the money to do so. They need to see you stand your ground and be firm. And then to in a lot of situations know why you made that choice for them. And yes I mean for them. When they’re younger they do not have the capacity to make all of their own decisions. You are there until their brain matures to make those for themselves. You are there to teach them along the way. It’s a long 20+ year process.  Think about it in the context of the things you do for them, regardless of financial abilities, are small when they’re younger but they grow with the child’s age  and bailing them out of trouble or continually buying them what they want just because you can will cause them to potentially get into trouble regardless of consequences or have no real regard and respect for  money or people.

Teach by example. Talk out loud, at the diner table, about the choices the family is making. Let them see you and hear you talk about somewhat hard stuff. Let them hear you say I can’t because of xyz even though I want to. And then teach them to ask themselves can I.  And not just can I, should I. Just because you physically can doesn’t mean you should. 

Ask the hard questions. Teach them to ask the hard questions of themselves and be honest with themselves. Teach them to fish!