Changes….always

Doesn’t even begin to describe this year. 

Obviously these two changes were planned and expected.  The girls moved out about two weeks apart. One returning to school and one for the first time.  This meant I got to give their room a deep clean for when they came back. But finding these affirmation messages my younger daughter writes herself is sweet and uplifting.  

Maybe I need to sneak in their room more often just to read the messages for myself.  Between grief and menopause I’m literally a hot mess and am figuring the new me out.  The new me that has only one kid under college age but has his license so he will be more independent   The new me that doesn’t have the girls to watch chick flicks with and get fries and milkshakes.  The new me that’s going through more hormonal changes and body changes than when I was pregnant.  The new me that’s learning to live as a mom of 4 instead of 5 and live without THE ONE who made me a mom.  

I’m trying to focus on myself for really the first time but yet be a mom and learn who this person is.  The person that was died with her son 6 months ago.  

Be strong!  I’m trying!

It’s very quiet with just two boys at home again.  The girls have their lives and I’m letting them live it!