Goonies, doughnuts and this and that.

I don't know if I'm just getting old, my allergies and asthma is getting to me or the nights up with a specific man that has me so tired.  I've been going to sleep at 9 the past two nights and sleeping late...thanks to my husband.  And, I still don't feel terribly recharged, but still so much to do.  After running to 3 stores Saturday to grocery shop, get the remaining supplies school has since asked for and looking to replace hubby's sandals with some new cheapies we decided to go swimming.  It's still stinkin' hot, but after that rain it felt a little cool.  I sat and watched, but the kids did NOT mind the cooler water.  Thank goodness Lois lets us swim.  Keeps the kids busy and saves a ton of money.  It's really good therapy for Brian too.  He felt every muscle in his legs last night and they were tired.  He could use that therapy a little more often. You kind of forget about the importance of ongoing therapy this far out of the accident and with life just being so busy.

Kaelin came to bed with me and watched tv last night after the two littlest went to bed.  Brian and the big guys were watching something in the basement.  She had to turn off the tv and put me to bed because I fell asleep.  Today consisted of more laundry and house cleaning.  Then, I got the bright idea to make doughnuts the way we used to at my grandma's house when I was little.  It was just a yeast roll recipe, but the kids LOVED them.  Super cheap to do.

I taped Goonies for the kids too and they sat and watched that this evening after dinner.  They actually liked it.  It was iconic in our time.  And tonight I have a kid with a tooth ache.  Not sure if it's really a tooth problem since he just went to the dentist in June, but I think it may be more sinus.  He can't nail it down to a location; it's top and bottom.  So, we're trying antibiotics and decongestant and tylenol.  See how it goes.  He's also trying some heel cups and arch supports we had to look for at Walmart yesterday.  He has a lot of heel pain after he is on his feet a lot.  I'm really hoping this helps since we can't afford another specialist right now.  We'll see on that too.

I'm trying to adjust myself to cutting back even further than we do on a normal basis.  I'm hoping my dream of going part time may come true soon, even if not for long.  We're going to start making our own bisquick mix and other little things.  That's a good thing to do regardless of if I get to do it or not.  I'm praying about part time.  The specialist appointments and keeping up with the kids has just really gotten hard working full time.  It's not that bad without all that, but I've felt somewhat overwhelmed the past month or so with so many appointments and things to keep up with to keep everyone healthy, yet get through normal life. 

I'm really nervous about this week.  I have to get Kaelin's cake made tomorrow, after work, for her birthday on Tuesday.  I'd like to pop up to just one of Chase's football practices too, so tomorrow night would be it.  I have to try to get Chase to the dentist in the next day or two if he doesn't start feeling better.  Then, Tuesday, of course, is Kae's birthday, so that takes precedence over everything.  Wednesday I have to get the Heart Walk money dropped off for the American Heart Association.  And Wednesday I get to start getting little man through his enema for Thursday's procedure.  I'm praying Wednesday and Thursday aren't terribly hard, but I don't exactly understand this soap enema thing, so I'm awaiting further instructions from the GI.  And praying his anesthesia isn't as hard on him this time, like last.  I should feel pretty darn good Friday, but I'm thinking we're supposed to do something then too, but I can't remember what.  See I'm losing it.  I need a break.  I need an assistant.  :)

Starting something you don't want to continue

Gosh, I hope this doesn't continue on, but it just seemed okay for one night.  :)

Poor J was tired by 7:30 tonight.  I'm sure it's just because I had to give him yet another dose of benadryl for his hives.  At this point, I'm no longer sure what's causing them.  I took him to his room, gave him paci and puppy and cow and then laid with him and sang.  As soon as I got up he started to repeat something I couldn't understand.  I thought maybe he didn't really want to go to bed, so I let him out and he went to my room.  He pointed to the bed and wanted up.  So, I put him in bed and left.  I can't believe he went right to sleep without me there with him.  But, he did.

Then, Cole decided to sleep in Jaemin's room so he didn't have to hear Chase snore on his first night before school.  This bed exchange is confusing.  I had to make sure to tell Brian who was where when he got home from football practice.

Personal Exploration of an Adult Adoptee

First Person Plural is the personal exploration of Deann Borshay Liem to find her Korean identity.  I'm not sure it was completely uncommon for things to work the way it did in her case.  I've heard, not countless, but other stories on the internet from those early years of Korean adoption where identities were exchanged in order to complete a promised adoption.  For her, she was able to track down and still find her original identity and birth family, but I wonder about others.  Maybe some accepted who they were told they were?

I want to believe that with all the laws that have changed over all these years that this no longer happens, but it's hard to say if that belief is true or if we'll ever know.  I want to believe that what we were told about our children is true, mostly so they don't have to be confused by their own history.  Your own, personal, story shouldn't be puzzle pieces to put together because of adults.  I can't help but watch this video and slightly wonder what the birthfamilies of our three children are like and wonder if we'll meet them?  I pray that should our children choose to that their prayers are answered and that they will allow us to participate.  I already feel love towards their birthfamilies as if they are an extension of our family.

This is part of the reason I want to visit Korea as a family in a few years, so badly.  I feel that visiting beforehand, before they may choose to investigate their beginnings and having an understanding of their birthlands may make their experiences a little easier.  I want us to have this experience together first, as a whole family.  I know we could go to Disney or Hawaii as our one big family vacation and for a lot less money, but this just seems so important to me and something that we can't put off until it never happens.  Does that makes sense?  I hope that because I ask from time-to-time how the girls (since they're older) feel or if they I have questions I pray there's not that miscommunication or misunderstanding that makes them afraid to discuss their Korean-ness or their Korean families.

If you have almost an hour to watch this video, do. It's very interesting and gives you a lot to think about, especially if you are a family member to an adoptee.  It gives you some insight into how they may, one day, feel.

Bittersweet Evening

We got the boys all registered in middle school and then Chase went to football practice.  Cole has been doing well watching Chase do something he so badly wanted to, but I sometimes wonder when it will wear off.  It has to be hard.  We sent him away on a small vacation with his grandparents for a couple of days this week.  He was the center of attention for a couple of days and we really felt like he could use it.  I do think that played a part in him dealing with it a little better, but like I said, I don't know how long it will last.

Chase was running back tonight and Brian's pretty sure he'll be starting since he's one of the fastest and about 20 lbs heavier than the other fast boy.  I'll miss his first game because Cole has his Heart Walk that day.  But, he will have other games and Cole only does this once per year and I'm hoping this is something he'll continue on with, especially now.  He's already done it for 6 years which is awesome for a boy his age.

I just hope Cole learns to be flexible with his life and roll with it all.  It's really the only way.  However, I will always feel bad for him and pray he doesn't feel like he truly missed out.  I could care less about athletics, but if it's something my kids enjoy and are interested in, I greatly care.

The Real World

Mine Vs. Others

Have you ever seen those reality shows?  We must be getting Bravo free for a bit, so I thought I'd tune into some of those housewives shows.  It just stuns me what their reality is compared to ours.  The stuff they worry about and stress about are so stupid and frivolous.  Money or not, I'd like to know if their 'lives' are real.  Do wealthy really have that low of an existence as some of these people on reality shows portray?  Sure they seem to love their kids, etc. but they make their lives so much more complicated than they need to be.  Of course, I'm sure there are plenty of people like that in every social class.

I guess I just spend so much time worrying about where this world is going  for my children and grandchildren.  Is there going to be anything left to save?  I wish I had an answer to how to fix the problems of today.  I wish I had an answer to how the middle class is going to survive without getting crushed into the poorer classes.  And I wish I had an answer on how to get the poorer classes up and handling things better on their own, for the ones who want to.  There are too many that fall through the cracks in our society and too many that take advantage of the cracks they seep into to get what they 'deserve'. 

I wish there were a way to link up social security numbers.  If you partake in social welfare of any sort, disability or otherwise, then you should sign over the government's ability to verify your accounts and holdings.  If anything is dependent on your assets and income then there should be proof.  Instead, it's left to social workers that there are not enough of and they are left to take the participant's word for it.  Yes, if they lie, then they're in trouble, but the truth of it is they don't have time to verify anything.  If these verifications were computerized we wouldn't have those same worries.

I know some don't believe government should have too much control, but if you want free government aid then you have to give up some liberties.  That would leave more funding for the truly needy.  And no, if they put assets, etc. in someone else's name it's going to be hard to verify anything, but they'd have to go through a lot of trouble to hide it at least.  It's better than the way it is now.  I don't understand the mentality of them 'owing' it to you.  I really don't.

I know right now, you're thinking what does the first paragraph have to do with any of the others.  My point is that I wonder if this isn't why we're in this predicament.  Too many people getting upset, worried and dramatizing petty things in life instead of the things that matter.  We've lost some of the important things that used to be taught to our kids and substituted them for the great American dream of having it all and more.  I've said it before and I'll say it a million times over.  As long as we can pay our bills, keep our children healthy, love each other and teach the kids to be good and caring people this is all I want for my success in life.  My kids are thankful for the smallest things and that makes me proud.  We can take free passes and take them to the pool for a couple of hours and get thank yous from them.  We hope to keep them on that track. 

We're not perfect parents, by any means, but how will it do any good if there are so few out there, or so it seems, keeping their children in reality? 

A first for some of the kids

I took 3 of  the kids to their first concert.  It was only $10 at the county fair, so I thought it would be a good idea to see how well Chelsi would really hold up.  She was pretty much the reason I even wanted to go being the BIG country fan she is.  It was late, so I wasn't sure what to expect.  We didn't get there until 9 and waited around for it to start.  She had a BLAST!  She was waving her hands and screaming.  She was so hoarse.  Her arms were in the air more than they were down.  She really, really liked Justin Moore!  Kaelin and Chase wanted to go to.  I think they wanted to experience it.  They couldn't see real well and I could only hold Chelsi.  We pushed our way towards the front and when we got fairly close there were some nice girls that offered to hold my 50lb Kaelin.  Chelsi finally heard 'Backwoods' and was ready to go to bed.  We got home and in bed around midnight.  I loved watching her enjoy it.  She also asked me to take a picture of Justin.  I only brought my 10 year old little camera so I wouldn't have to worry so the picture stinks, but it's a picture.  :)

Definitely want to take her to a bigger concert some day.  She truly loved it!

Chelsi and I at the concert.

And on the way there.

Just keep swimming...

We've now done 4 pools in 4 days.  The kids are having way too much fun swimming.  Thank God all 5 are water babies.  They're definitely MY kids.

But, before that I wanted to finally put out the pics of the little kids at Six Flags.  I wish I had pictures from the waterpark and the big kids, but it's hard to have fun if you're busy taking tons of pictures.  Kaelin road a big roller coaster for the first time and she said her tummy was doing flipflops by the end, but she loved it. 

Already sleeping on the way there.

 

Today we were able to swim at a friends house.  She wasn't there, but let us swim anyways.  Dad needed some alone time, so me and aunt M took them to Lois' to swim.  They had a great time!!