Official switch from 'WHEN' to 'IF'

I hate, hate, hate doing this because it feels like I'm telling myself I've lost hope, but I have to do this to not feel so stressed.  I'm talking about our once in a lifetime trip to Korea as a complete family.  We may go, we may not. I've been mulling this over in my mind and on paper for the last few days and I just don't see any alternative.  Going to Korea for 7 is not as simple as it may seem.  \

First of all, finding a hotel room to accommodate 7 people together is near to impossible.  I'm willing to split the adults up to find two separate rooms, but that definitely adds to the cost.  Not to mention Korea's rules are stricter than here in the US where we can stay in a suite with 2 doubles and a fold out couch.  They don't allow that in Korea.  We finally found a decent place to stay that would only be $180/night...as of now.  So we're figuring on $200/night just in case rates change.

Food's not a terrible worry, but even if you figure $50/day (cheap) you would be spending $6-700 over the 12-14 day stay.  Which yeah, we could stay for a shorter time, but if you're going to fly for 14 hours you want to stay a bit.  If anything it helps a little with jet lag.

Transportation within the country's not terrible either.  We can get around on the subway and cabs for probably less than $500 the whole stay.  Then, there's transportation to Gwangju and Jeju (their birth cities); that's another $1200 for both and a hotel stay at each if just some of us go.  Like me and each child that was born in the city we were going to.

Airfare.  Here's where I can't cut the cost at all.  We're obligated to pay whatever the going rate is at the time for economy class tickets.  So, if oil goes up, so does our airfare, which at a good June rate will be $1500/ticket if we're lucky.  With 7 of us, the price of our family's airfare can fluctuate anywhere from $10,000 to $13,000 for all of us.  There's not getting around this part.  You can't just choose to drive or take another mode of transportation.  This is the part that really stinks!  We can afford to be in Korea, we just can't do the high end of airfare.

We've been planning for this since Kaelin was about 3 and told me she wanted to go together.  Then we emptied the whopping $800 we had in the account to get Jaemin.  I got serious and started saving $100/month after Jaemin came home two years ago.  Then came my $250/month pay cut thanks to our stinky contractor who can't get us a better deal on health insurance.  Due to that I had to go part time to afford my bills and get the kids out of daycare.  And with all this went the $100/month I was saving for the trip.  So, there we stand at $3,800 in our Korea account.  If you added the above up, we're need about $17,000 to go.  Only $13,200 short.  Not bad huh?  UGH!  We have our regular savings and it has some in it, but you can't drain your savings to nothing with 5 school aged kids.  We're already living paycheck to paycheck...literally.  There's nowhere to go.  Then, we have the potential that either we're going to have to fix our septic's drainfield or hook up to our city sewer.  Either way it will cost about $3500.  And Thursday after our 3rd orthodontic opinion Chase may still need braces.  Poor kid has two permanent teeth coming out the side of his gums.

So, it's time I let myself down a bit.  I was so psyched for this trip.  It's not like I was completely doing it for Kaelin, Chelsi and Jaemin.  I was planning it for our family.  It's bonding.  It's a special link for us.  It's how we became a family.  It's been important and driving me for years, but it's time to let go so that I don't let it's dream consume me.

The plan is to wait until next Winter when we had planned to start buying tickets or watching for decent fares to reevaluate.  If things seem okay and maybe we manage to save some more we'll think a little more about it.  Otherwise, each year it will get pushed back another year until we decide if we'll ever go at all.  Really, you don't have forever.  Cole will be 18 in just 4 years.  One year he will have his heart surgery and that is how we'll spend our summer.  So, all I can say is IF we go to Korea as a family it will be the best trip ever!

Our Outing

I took the kids to a state park to look around and walk.  They enjoyed it. It was a perfect 80 degrees, but was a little muggy down near the water.  Somewhere during this outing I hurt my knee.  I'm guessing anyways.  By Saturday night my knee was swollen and warmish.  I can't kneel on it or put pressure on it, so I've been icing it.  It's sort of white and then red on my knee cap.  Weird.  Who knows.

This is how far up we were.  We drove down the hill and then walked the trail along the spring.

The kids at the ruins of the castle.  It took almost 20 years before it was completed and was gone in another 20.

This is a glimpse of what the house looked like prior (during) it's burning.  It was HUGE!

Happy little camper running along.

Chase just had to take this picture.

Fun Summer Day

We had a really great day!  Last night the big boys had to go to town with me because Chase wanted to buy himself a new Cardinals hat since he lost the 3rd one in about 5 years, while on vacation.  Cole needed a new lifejacket since he finally weighed over 90 lbs and actually jumped right to 100.  I wanted to be sure it would fit him since he's so thin, so he came with me to the store.  The boys talked me into stopped at Petco because they'd been saving for a lizard habitat starter kit.  Obviously they'd been planning on it because they'd caught 3 lizards and the neighbor boy was keeping 2 of them in his habitat.  They lucked out and it was $20 off so they could still afford to buy the water dish, sand, etc.  The darn heat mat had a short or something and the light didn't work at all, so we have to bring those parts back.  They moved the lizards in today and are so happy to have them in their room.

Because they couldn't set up their tank until today, we got back too late last night, I was able to leverage with them and they had to clean up their room spotless because set up.  Then, I promised the girls that if they cleaned up the rec room we'd go swimming at Lois' house.  They cleaned it up and the boys finished up to make sure it was up to par for mom's standards. 

After Jaemin's nap we loaded up the water toys and left.  I stopped at the local store to get some of those yummy ice cream sundae cones to eat.  So we ate those before we swam.  The water was absolutely perfect!  We swam for a little over 3 house and only left because it was after our regular supper time.  The kids were playing so well together and watching them while I played with Jaemin in the water made me so happy.  You can see some maturity changes there and it was really nice to watch.  This is the best part of parenting to say the least!

Jaemin...oh Jaemin.  He's such a quirky boy.  He acts like he's not ready to potty train, but he's got it so under control.  He's just too stubborn to train.  I noticed he never pooped in a swim diaper the whole time we were on vacation even though we spent hours out there.  He was exactly the same at Lois' house.  He told me he 'pooped pants'.  I thought it was odd he'd do it in the pool so I checked and there was nothing.  I finally got him on her potty and he peed, but wouldn't poop.  He has a phobia of this for some reason.  So we go back and he says he has to go again.  I asked him if he wanted to go on the potty and he did NOT want to.  So, I asked him if he wanted to poop in Lois' grass (I would have scooped it).  :)  He didn't want to.  Later he gets out and grabs himself and says he has to go, but he wanted to pee in her rocks.  Yep, I let him.  He peed a lot!  Put back on the swim diaper and went on playing.  Right before we left I asked him if he needed to pee again and he did.  So, he peed outside again....a lot!  I think he's liking this peeing outside thing.  Maybe this will get me somewhere.  I may be hitting this a little harder tomorrow.  Sorry about the potty Lois. 

The boys have spent the evening admiring their lizards while Jaemin puts his finger by the tank and acts like they're biting him through the glass.  He yells ouch and seems to be a pretty good actor because when I first walked in I thought something had actually hurt him until I watched him.  He's such a funny little boy!

EARTHQUAKE!!

It was actually about 200 miles away; give or take some mileage. They said it was about 3 am last night, but I didn't look at the clock. Yep, the girl who only wakes up when she hears kids woke up to the earth shaking a bit. I remember feeling very groggy and wondering if it was a rumble of thunder. Then, I thought "I don't remember any rain in the forecast". It felt like the bed was shaking a bit and I heard noise outside. It was over quick and I just went back to sleep thinking no way was that an earthquake. We would feel it here, from where our fault is.

So, as I was showering this morning Brian came in and asked if I woke up during the quake. I thought, seriously. I really thought I was dreaming. Hmmm...guess not. He said before it really shook the dog started barking and he was outside trying to quiet him. He said our house creaked a lot from outside.

The last time we had one a couple of years ago anyone barely felt it. I was on the 10th floor of a building so we felt it a bit up there, but most people on main levels did not. The one last night was a 4.2.

Hot and a little steamy, but wonderful

We've spent a lot of the past two late afternoons/evenings outside.  With temperatures that feel like 100 degrees right now, it's not always pleasant, but the evenings have been decent at a balmy 85 degrees. 

Last night we took some popcorn and drinks over to a friends house to watch Megamind.  I don't know how many families they ended up with at their house.  My guess was about 10 or so...families!  They set up a screen in their front yard and we all laid out blankets or sat in our lawn chairs and watched.  It was very enjoyable.  We went to the river with Brian's parents this afternoon.  It was warming, but breezy on the river, as usual.  The water was still too cold for me, but the kids had no problem getting in.  The current is really strong since it's up so high, but they did well.  Obviously, we didn't let the two littlest in without hanging on to them.  Jaemin couldn't get enough.  I swear he got dirty just so we would dip him in.  He would go play in the dirt and then come to us and say "I messy, wash me".  We would dip him in the river and he would start all over again.  He peed on the deck going to the dock twice.  The second time he announced that he was doing it, so he apparently now understands the sensation.  So, we would dip him again.  Then Jaemin decided he wanted to pee on a tree.  I brought him over to a tree, but nothing.  I think he'd probably potty train if I could get him to go one time outside.  May have to work on this this summer.  We had hot dogs and hamburgers and some pasta salad.  I think they were all worn out after the boat ride.  I taught Jaemin to put his arms up and scream like he was riding a roller coaster.

And now, I have to recover from my huge allergen exposure with all this fun.  Good thing I got some new meds for it today.  UCK!

Beach Family Pictures

I don't think I ever posted our family pictures from Orange Beach here.  I brought my tripod and set the timer and snapped what I could.  Not too bad for being in the photo and being the photographer.

2 years

I cannot believe Jaemin, Chelsi, Kaelin and I came off the plane from Korea 2 years ago today. He's changed so much in 2 years.  Not just the regular changes a baby goes through going into toddlerhood, but his personality too.  He's still as energetic as ever, but now he's so charismatic.  He makes you laugh all the time.  He worries me most of the time with his carefree, daredevil attitude.  He's scared of very little aside from mommy being away from him.  Sometimes, at night, when he's lying next to me in my bed and sleeping I just stroke his little, sweet face and thank God he's with us.  I can't believe how beautiful my little tornado is and how lucky we are to have him here in our family. 

I don't thank God that he was placed for adoption.  I thank God that when he was, we were afforded the ability to bring him here.  I love you Jaemin, my little shocker boy!