Happy Mother's Day and Happy Birthday

We almost always celebrate Chase's birthday wrapped in with Mother's Day.  I certainly don't mind sharing  with such good company.  I'm very blessed to have these kids.  Everyone of them, though there are there downs, bring something wonderful to the table and our lives.  Cole is very special because he's our first born.  After the loss of our first daughter he was such a welcome to our world and was our world for 3 straight years.  I'm thankful for that time to focus only on him and his heart.  Then, came Chase.  Chase was brought home on Mother's Day, so he will always be my best Mother's Day gift ever!  Kaelin was our first daughter to have and hold.  She was so wanted and waited for in Korea.  Chelsi was the one I wasn't really sure we were going to have.  Brian was on the fence about a 4th, but Cole and I got him talked into just one more.  Jaemin was our surprise!  He wasn't a ooops baby or anything that people call their babies when they accidentally get pregnant.  He was a great surprise.  In the end, 4 were planned, 1 was not, but I wouldn't want life without any one of them.  They each have a gift for me and I love seeing life as we go through it together through them.  We've been through too much together and I hope they always love and appreciate each other for their individual gifts.

Chase is 14 (well tomorrow)!!  He was so excited yesterday to tell me he had grown.  The football coach measures them during weightlifting to track things and he had grown 2 inches.  He's now pushing just under 5' 9".  We were starting to wonder if he was ever going to grow.  He said he wants to be 6'7".  :)  Don't know that that's going to happen, but he says it's possible since the doctor said Cole's growth curve said 5'11" and he ended up being 6'2" and Chase's  growth curve was saying 6'4".  We'll see.  Chase will be a good young man.  He's sweet and kind and, well, nice looking.  Love my middle baby!

Happy Mother's Day to my mother, my grandmothers, my Korean children's foster mothers and their birth mothers.  Without all of these women, we would not be or be who we are.

It was Jaemin's last soccer game too.  He really did enjoy it and wants to play again next year.

Awards and events

I was sad that I could not go to the visitation of a friend's father or the funeral.  We just had too much.  Cole had an appointment yesterday afternoon and then he actually got a school award last night and I did guilt trip him into going a little bit.  I would have given up and was, but I DID really want to go.  He's never gotten any award for anything, so it didn't matter, I really wanted to see it.  It was in Industrial Materials, but it's still an award.  This morning, I had the day off, Chelsi officially got her character trait award at school.  Hers was from September and it was for Respect.  They don't award them monthly for the parents, just the kids and then do the celebration at the end of the year for all of the kids.  There were four per grade since there are four classes per grade.  Then, the school provided donuts afterward.  That was at 8:15 this morning.  At 9 am I ran down to the middle school to watch Kaelin in the talent show.  It started at 8:30, but she asked to be pushed back so I could hopefully do both.  I did make it.  It was rough for her.  She's never done just two girls and I think she got nervous.  She forgot the words or was just afraid.  Her friend carried her through, but I could see the tops of her eyelids getting red.  I know she's getting ready to cry then.  She held it together and finished, but when she sat down she was crying a bit.  One of the teachers and counselor were pretty concerned.  They all really like her.  One of the girls in Chase's class was trying to make her feel better.  I took her out to the cafeteria for a second to remind her that it didn't matter how well she did.  She was brave enough to try in front of the whole middle school.  She should be proud of herself no matter what.  She seemed fine then.  Plus it was Hallelujah.  That's a difficult song!  We didn't get home until 10:30 and Jaemin was tired, so he just played play-doh for the afternoon.  I do have to say they had some pretty talented singers.  One had a really amazing voice singing Love Story.  Her friend was good too, but not quite as good.  What I loved the most was that even though Kaelin kinda choked a bit, her friends loudly cheered her on in the stands and the whole crowd still cheered her on their feet!

My Jaejae

The ENT called today and said the xray showed the swelling on Jaemin's adenoids were 'moderate'.  He said xrays tend to underestimate the swelling, so it's more severe.  He said no doubt Jaemin needs it out.  Not a big deal surgery at all.  It's really kinda like kids getting tubes in their ears.  However, I'm pretty protective over my boy and after the last time he went under anesthesia I have to be.  It was so traumatic for both of us when he woke up.  Enough so that they came and got me much sooner than they had planned because he was so upset.  They said because of his sensory disorder they couldn't or wouldn't do it in their surgery clinic and wanted him to be in a hospital setting. I spent some time calling to find out what each hospital's protocol was on letting parents go back post op.  They all have policy of that the child has to be awake, etc. before a parent can come back.  I explained his hard transition and attachment to us.  I explained his sensory disorder and I explained how important it is that he knows I haven't left him and when you wake up after anesthesia you're so disoriented and scared and that's just everybody.  For him, it's even more of a traumatic experience.  I ended up talking to a lady who said she was over it all and would make an exception to get us back as soon as the tubes were out from surgery.  They're also going to try to allow us to spend as much time with him as possible before they put him out....maybe even until he's out.  I asked her for her name and told her I would hold her to her promise.  She gave me her direct line and said just to call with the date of the surgery and she will make sure to hold to her promises.  I called the doctor back and told them okay and apparently they had been on the phone with the hospital voicing my concerns as well.

I felt so much better.  Jaemin's not very happy he has to go to the doctor, but I've been trying to explain that they will fix his snoring, make his breathing easier and make him feel so much better.  He's a little scared even though he doesn't really understand.  I'm glad it's in less than 2 weeks.  Get it over with.  A couple of days and he'll feel so much better.

I LOVE this boy!

Making Arrangements

We've always been very fortunate to have really good insurance.  But, my government employer, like all other employers, have sent benefits by the wayside.  My insurance being one of them.  Several years ago that benefit began to decline and  the only real alternative for a family this large where they charge by the child was to go into a high deductible plan.  It's better than no insurance.  When the day came and they offered this new plan while it still means quite a bit more out of my paycheck monthly, it also meant if we didn't go to the doctor and max things out (which does happen sometimes).  Most years just hitting your high deductible and saving the max in the HSA is enough to have money left in your HSA for dental, etc. since we have no dental or vision insurance.  However, maxing it out is a big difference.  Years ago it just wasn't like this.  Even Brian's accident didn't cost this much.  He spent 1 1/2 weeks inpatient and then another few weeks inpatient rehab.  We came nowhere near what this surgery cost for Cole.  I miss the days of $600, maybe $1500 for the year.  We expect at least $2000 every year in medical expenses.  An EKG and echo along with the cost of the cardiologist are approximately $1500/year just for Cole if he doesn't have a stress test and MRI.  We did ask if we could come back in October this year since we're maxed out and won't be responsible for more.  One more heart check before he goes back to full-on wrestling would make me feel so much better.

We've been getting all of the bills in more and more and I've been having to go through, match them up by EOB and pay them.  At least 2-3 times for this surgery alone the bills have been incorrect and I've had to call and remind them they cannot bill for certain things and turn around and wait for a revised bill.  Always wait for the correct bill.  They cannot bill for things the insurance says are outside the agreement, but if they get the accounts mixed up they can do it easily, but it is wrong.  I got one bill today that was revised down to $73 from almost $300 after explaining their mix-up.  Then, since it was the facility again I asked for the 15% pay upfront discount.  So I ended up paying $62.  The other bill I got was almost $400 for a couple of the doctors while he was in the hospital.  Apparently, the physicians do not offer a pay upfront discount, so I told them, for the first time in my lucky life, to set up a payment plan.  They agreed to $50/month so I would have enough to pay what I have to as the year rolls on and more bills come in.  I figured this way we could possibly go to the dentist later this year and when my HSA hopefully catches up to all of this I can pay the physicians off at the end of the year.  There are plenty more physicians bills coming in.  Those were just the smaller ones. It feels weird to have medical payments since we never have, but thankfully, I pull so much out of my paycheck that we should be able to pay them off at the end of the year.

There's always worse and prayerfully, this is the last year of maxing out for awhile!

Said goodbye

to a really great person today.  It's sad that you don't see people often enough and it takes losing one before you make any efforts to get together.  Cathy was a beautiful person, inside and out.  She was an awesome mom and incredibly vivacious person.  Her laugh will be with me forever.  After the graveside ceremony her kids, nieces, nephews, etc. released balloons with their messages on them as her song, by Elton John, played.  And they asked us to give a round of applause for her after the song.  It was how she would have wanted it.  She wouldn't have wanted everyone to be so sad. She would have wanted everyone to 'rock on'.
She will very much be missed and I will never forget how much she made me think as these years with cancer progressed.  Her outlook was never less than amazing!

Cell Phone Photos

I asked Jaemin to finish unloading the dryer tonight. We're trying to start him in on some small chores, so I unload most, but leave a handful of clothes for him to unload. I did mine, asked him to unload his and went to the bedroom to fold clothes. He was taking FOREVER. He finally comes running in telling me that he found his soccer socks, complete with shin guards, in the dryer and they're warm. Yep.....he had them on. He was in the laundry room putting them on. It might help to stay warm if you would ever wear a shirt around the house. Not Jaemin. If he's at home he does not want to wear a shirt.


So, I had to take a picture of him with his socks on. I figured my phone was faster, but I rarely use it to take pictures. He asked to see his picture in true kid fashion and I scroll over to find other pictures. I had forgotten I took a picture of him at my grandma's on Easter in his bunny glasses. Then, I found several selfies I'm pretty sure Kaelin took on Easter. The bedspread looks like my grandma's, so I guess her and her cousin were bored? Girls, girls!

April is over!

The month pretty much flew by.  Started it out staying at home with Cole after his surgery, then shuttling him around until he could drive.  He's now driving on his own and back in school for a couple of full weeks.  And, though, he's again not driving because his car's in the shop, he will get it back soon.  Hopefully.  A guy we knew thought he could fix it fairly cheap.   Brian and his dad took the head apart and found a rocker arm  shaft stripped, so the rocker arm was hitting the top of the cylinder head and making all that racket.  Luckily they found it without driving it around so we hopefully didn't make things worse.  We may know tomorrow or Friday if it's just what we thought.  I can do $200.  Not happily after all the other things in that car, but better than $1000+ for a new head in a $2000 car.  But, really do you fix  the car or replace it?  We've put so much into it that if we found another one for what we could afford we'd probably end up putting at least what we have back into that one too.  Maybe we won't have to find out.

The school year is winding down and I'm praying Cole can keep his grades up.  He's been enjoying his freedoms with his friends, but they will come to a screaching halt if a C creeps back in.  He knows the rules and hopefully that taste of running and fun will encourage him.  We'll see.

I've been fighting Kaelin lately.  Usually it's Brian fighting her on clothes and I take her side, but not on this.  I just do not agree with girls wearing leggings when their rear ends aren't covered up.  Leave something to the imagination.  Why would a guy be interested in something every other guy can see just right out there in the open.  She went as far this time as to just put her jeans on over them after I told her her shirt was too short and to change.  She apparently thinks I'm that stupid.  I now have all of her leggings and big brother is watching her at school for me.  If she gets caught in her lies, she'll realize she really can't hide things.

Jaemin had his OT And ST evaluation after speech yesterday.  He will most likely not qualify to stay in speech the entire year.  We redid a sensory eval too since it's been 3 years.  The school is not required to provide support for sensory disorder, but the OT said they've begun to do it on their own for kids with more severe sensory.  She thinks there's a chance he may qualify between some of his delays and this.  That would be great for when he enters Kindergarten and maybe I won't have so many fears and reservations about him going.  Jaemin is SO, SO smart.  He reads so well and quickly.  He just needs emotional/social help.