Because writing is therapeutic

and it has helped me in the past to go back through my own personal diary, here, and see what we have gotten through.

I'm just a little stressed right now.  I know that after March passes and my surgeries are done....hopefully, I can just erase it all from my mind and go on.  Hopefully is for the surgeries or whatever to be done by the end of March...I will have no trouble erasing it from my mind.

So I had my two spots biopsied and one is a blue nevus as I thought and the other was basal cell as I wondered.  I already got the stitch (yes just 1) out of my head and I go back Monday for the two stitches in my back.  Apparently, your back has to stay in longer than your head... I don't know why, so don't ask.  After that I get a nice and lovely consult with a general surgeon for the lump in my breast.  I posted back in September after I had to get an oh so enjoyable mammogram just because I hit 35, but because I also had a sebaceous cyst they wanted an ultrasound too.  It came back with matter in it slightly off from what they usually see for this type of cyst, so they told me not to worry and get a follow up U/S in 6 months.  That was this week and when I called to see if they had order my doc was right on top of it and they were ready to go.

It didn't take long to get it done, but she left the room and came back and said the radiologist wanted to biopsy it because it had grown more than they expected in 6 months and was still not quite right.  So, of course, I cried a little since the day before I had just been told I had skin cancer...minor yes, but too much for me for one week.  I got the appointment all worked out and yesterday was feeling much more assured and ready to get it over with.  Well, they changed their minds and this time my doctor called to let me know the radiologist read the U/S and refused a biopsy.  He said it needed excised.  So the doctor sent the orders to a general surgeon and they had an appointment ready for me.  I was in pretty good tears by then.  I called the surgeon to find out what to expect and actually found out it was just a consult and they still may biopsy it and basically ignore what the radiologist said depending on what she thinks of my two U/Ss. So, my sweet husband ran around town getting my U/Ss and mammograms that the hospital burned to a CD and brought it to my surgeons office for me.  By Wednesday morning she should have had plenty of time to look at the visuals and a good idea of what she wants to do with me.

They did tell me the radiologist is calling it a fibroadenoma for now.  It can be a precursor to breast cancer, but is most often completely benign.  From what I could gather they leave them in if their smaller than a certain size, but mine it larger.  I don't have a clue what she's going to decide, but if they remove it I'm a bit more nervous.  All I can imagine is a hole where it used to be.  They assure me they will pull in a cosmetic surgeon if they need to, but really they can just move my existing stuff around.  Uh....what stuff?   Do they have any idea how small I am???  So don't take away what little I have or I'm gonna be a little ticked.

I'm pretty much done with all my tears now, though the rare possibilities out of both of these spots still do bother me and make me fearful from time-to-time, you can't live your life in perpetual fear.  I choose not to.  I choose to hug my kids even more and love my husband even more and live for the day and maybe learn something from this experience.  Hoping it's a very short-lived experience, of course.

So, if you wanna pray for a good consult Wednesday, I'd appreciate it.  I know God is listening and I know everything will be okay, but extra prayers never hurt anything.  I'm okay with my other small surgery of getting my basal cell removed.  I have to wait until the biopsied spot heals before they'll do that one, but I don't know what she'll do now that I'm dealing with another part of my body on the other side?  This adenoma bugs me a little more.

Lisa