Yes. We are not worse moms than a stay at home mom. I know they are working moms too, but we get the responsibility, and no it's not always by choice, to work on someone else's clock all day long and come home to work some more. And I'm not even talking about anything related to taking care of the kids. But, being a working mom, outside of the home, doesn't mean someone else is raising your kids. It doesn't mean you have no time for your kids. It doesn't mean your a disconnected mom. In fact, for a lot of us, I think we just find other ways of accomplishing it all and finding our own niche for our family.
For our family, it's having a good husband and dad and raising our kids to be independent kids that don't expect to have the best of everything and can wait for what they need even. We get each other. We work it out so that all the chores get done without making someone feel overwhelmed; no house cleaners or cooks afforded here. While working part time I found out I didn't have any more time then I did when I was working full time, but stressed much more about paying our bills. Forget luxury, we were living off our savings for that year. So, when I went back to work it was with a new outlook. I was not going to stress about the small stuff. Just get done what had to and make sure I spent what time I could with the kids and didn't dwell on it and punish myself and let myself feel bad when I knew I had done everything I possibly could to the absolute best of my ability. When I'm at work I give them my all. When I'm at home I leave work and give my family my all.
That doesn't mean that family doesn't encroach on work. I mean come on...I'm a mom. If Cole calls and says 'mom, coach says I need to go to the doctor or I can't wrestle', I get off the phone, get him in somewhere and one of us gets him in right away. And yes, this happened....twice. I spend many hours in the car with the kids which is a great time to talk to them. They can't get away from you. I love doctors appointments, orthodontics, etc. It's one-on-one time with them. I spend at least 1/2 hour driving them to or from the location with their undivided attention.
I made a vow when I came back full time that I would still watch my leave time, but not be such a miser with it. I've worked there for 15 years always saving it for an emergency. And while that served me well so I could take maternity leave 5 times, take off with Cole for his heart and appendectomy and Brian for some of his hospital stay, it's time. I promised myself that if the kids had school stuff and wanted me there I would be there. That's how I got to go to Chelsi's awards, Jaemin's Christmas party and hopefully Cole's 1st round of district wrestling. I'm trying to enjoy every bit of my life to the fullest while remaining responsible to my family. I take my time to cuddle the kids at night, sit on the floor of the kitchen to have little talks with Kaelin about growing up and just let down my guard and have fun with all of them.
Doesn't mean mom's a pushover though. I will still give reminders about gradually dropping grades, being mean to each other and disrespectful or forgetting your chores or obligations. I'm still their mom, not their friend. But, I have to say the last few months, even with icky stuff that goes on at work I've been happier. It's an outlook to some extent. It's thinking and believing that this year is a new start and a great year. Mom's can do it all, depending on how they view things and allocate their time. Even some stay-at-home moms don't allocate their time to their children. No group is perfect. It's still a personal decision and choice on the detail of what you do with every second. Make every second count and enjoy them and yourself on the ride.
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