crazy, crazy life

My goodness our lives have changed a lot since we married 15 years ago.  Who would have thought all this could happen in such a short amount of time, really?  We've been through 2 births, 3 adoptions, 1 loss of a child, Cole's open-heart surgery, other various surgeries between all of us, Brian's accident and of those 3 adoptions our surprise baby Jaemin.

Just several months ago I was worried about his attachment.  It wasn't what I was wanting to see yet.  I knew that could still change and come with time, but I was worried.  The girls were past that point by then, so that didn't help my worry.  I was in new waters.  He just fought us so much in the beginning and honestly wore me out.  I trudged on through the hitting and scratching and slapping as he tried to push me away.  I think it was Jaemin's reaction to being scared someone he loves might leave again.  I kept this in my mind each time he did it and each time I got down because I worried we may never get there.  Where there is, I didn't know, but I knew it was a better place and would feel right when we arrived.

I can now say I feel we have landed at our destination.  Just like, one year ago today, the four of us (Chelsi, Kaelin, Lois and I) stepped off that airplane with 5 instead of 4.  The night before we left Korea Jaemin was so upset with the new transition that he threw up a couple of times.  He also threw up on the plane.  Now, granted, he has a weak gag reflex and does this easily anyways, that's how upset he was.  I've had so many fears over the last year and I've been SO sleep deprived.  We are just now getting to the point that we get several good nights sleep in a month between all 5.

So, was it worth it.  It's ALWAYS worth it.  Even if you have your doubts from time-to-time in your journey, they're usually in the worst, most vulnerable moments.  It's always worth it.  Everything in my life has been worth all we've gone through above.  Jaemin IS worth everything!  So, one year after stepping off that plane after a 15 hour commute (in the air), my son is here with us and it's like he was never missing.  He's always been a part of our family in my heart and soul.  We love you Jaemin and you are what life is about.  You are our little boy and we love you to no end!

Flashback!!

One year ago today, I met such a handsome little fellow.  I fell in love immediately and I love him even more now.

One year ago in Korea.

New Pics

Took Jae outside real quick for some snaps.

So super sweet

Kind of personal, but I was writing my annual letters to send to Korea for the foster moms and birth families and Kaelin wrote to her foster mom.  Her foster mom has requested her to write her own letter this year, so she wrote a few short sentences, I had them translated and then she wrote them in both Hangul and English...thank you Denise.

So after she writes them, she brings me the papers and the whole bottom half of the Hangul letter is decorated.  In one corner, though, is an outline of her hand.  Inside she wrote "This is my hand.  And this is how big it is.  This is my left hand."  Is that not super sweet and enough to cry?

Lisa

Creative Kids

I'm pretty sure Chase was the mastermind behind this, but I think all 3 boys participated.  Chase is our resident, take things apart, figure them out and fix-it guy....at barely 10.

Does this big wheels look right to you?

Apparently, they had finally worn ours out...it's everything except the back wheels, I believe....running it down the hill so many times.  Neighborn H's was broken as well, or I think his sister's, so the boys stripped them and merged them together.  They love the new toy!

Teaching Money to Children

So, a few months ago or so, I entered an essay contest to win cash.  It was 5 essay questions on teaching responsibility with money to your children.  I had read about the couple of past winners and they were all single moms, so while I thought we had no chance, I entered anyways.  So glad we've been doing what we've been doing with our 5 kids!

Turns out we won!  We won $1,000.  In the essays you just had write (without going over the character limit) how you teach this to your children.  Well, we all know where that money is going/went!

http://chaostimes5.blogspot.com/p/tickets-to-korea.html

What memories

One year ago tomorrow is the day we found out we could leave to go get Jaemin.  But, it was actually the kids' last day of school I found out.  I was at the kids' awards assembly when I found out we could leave, so as soon as I got back to work we got our arrangements made and we left the very next morning...Saturday morning at 3:00 am.  I was watching Kaelin and Chase receive their awards again this year and all I could do after I left school was think about that call one year ago and how hard it was in the beginning and how much things have changed and how much I wouldn't change a thing.  And wow....was that trip amazing and life changing for all 3 of us that left this house. 

I can't believe Korea is a memory from 1 year ago.  I would love to go there every year if I could.  I would even choose that over the beach, which is saying A LOT.  I miss you Korea.