So yeah, we're lucky

But it's still d@^^ frustrating that we have to deal with the repercussions of the injury.  I honestly get VERY annoyed when people tell me how lucky we were with Brian and his spinal cord injury.  I know they mean well, but it's not like I don't know it.  I'm reminded almost everyday.  Trust me, I haven't forgotten and doubt I'll be able to any time soon.

Meanwhile, when something to this magnitude happens to your body, regardless of what others outside the bubble see, there are things you and your family deal with that they will never know or understand and it's often enough, that there's no avoidance or forgetting. 

my boys and their spare time

I found these videos on Chase's camera card.  He asked me to put all the pictures and videos on his iPOD, but this mom was very curious as to what the videos contained.  You know, a way of checking in on them.  Most were of them sledding this Winter, but some were just well......boys.

I have titles before each set to explain...my version of what I think they're doing.  I actually heard me yelling at them in one of the clips and then they told me goodnight.  BUT, they didn't go to bed.  They continued their video making.  Oh my...who knows what's next.  What an odd sense of humor when they're bored.

Video Here

IRS and the Doctor

Doesn't that sounds like a GREAT combination for the day?  That was yesterday's day.  Well, I lie.  The IRS has been my WEEK!

First, the IRS is arbitrarily selecting adoptive families' tax returns and sending them to their tax credit review department.  In my opinion, it's an utter waste of time.  They're spending $3 to mail notices to families to send documents that were sent in with the original 1040 and then having to disperse the funds anyways.  I mean, can you really lie about adopting a human being?  It's not like we said we made donations to the church or organizations or started a business or something.  We didn't even buy an appliance or car that qualifies.  No, it's an adoption!  So, after frustratingly calling the IRS Monday to find out if I could pare down my 23 page (yes 23 pages) fax to them and getting no where, Brian faxed it all to them on Tuesday. 

Then, yesterday after a long day at the doctor, I got yet another notice from the IRS.  My favorite, oh so happy people, sent me a notice to tell me that apparently, by their records I suddenly had only 4 children...not 5.  Ummm yeah....I'm pretty sure I've had this little man in my house for almost 2 years now and in my bed for 6 months.  Yeah, I know I'm the mom to 5.  I didn't miscount my exemptions.  BTW, I use TAXACTONLINE.com and it remembers me from year to year, so no mistake.  It filled out the additional child worksheet and little Jae was on that page all by himself as the front sheet of the 1040 only allows for 4 kiddos.  I called yet another number provided by the IRS and she asked me if I had my copy in front of me.  I said 'yes I do'....this is after I told her (when she answered) that I was so upset and frustrated with them at that point I was ready to cry on her.  She asked if I marked everybody's box and I said yes.  She said she only saw 4.  I told her the littlest was on another page all by himself.  She asked for his SSN and I gave it to her.  She found him listed a real, live person and said our child tax credit would get reinstated and I could disregard the notice.

You see, the problem with the IRS is that as they forward on your return for review, they only send the 1040.  They keep all other documentation who knows where.  My new notice taking away our child tax credit was issue on Monday; the very day I first called about the other 3 notices.  So, the oh so happy lady I talked to Monday took it upon herself to look through our 2 pages she'd gotten and send us a notice that we claimed incorrect children.  Uhhh....maybe you should have all the documentation before you make that sort of decision!  So, luckily, the lady on the phone on Thursday, was a much happier person, took Jae's SSN and put all the stuff in for us.  However, we still had to fax in his adoption decree (for the 2nd time) and a spreadsheet, receipts and canceled checks for all of our adoption expenses.  Then, maybe, if they feel nice about it we might get the rest of our return in the next 3 months.  The first 2 people I talked to on Monday sounded SO depressed and depressing.  They couldn't help you at all.  They actually read to me what I had in front of me; as if I couldn't read.  It wasn't at all answering the more specific questions I had.  As a government entity employee, I cannot even imagine being that helpful (not at all) with the constituents who call or write us.  I bend over backwards to get an answer for people that I would never be upset to put in writing.  These ladies gave the government (I don't care if it's local, state or federal) a very BAD name!

So the doctor.  Yeah, it wasn't bad as in bad doctor....just made for a bad day when it's followed by the IRS putting me in tears.  Not to mention I was dumb enough to start supper before opening that envelope I saw was from the IRS and then burnt 1/2 gallon of milk on the stove.  So bad I had to take a brillo pad after soaking it an entire day to get it off the stainless steel pot.  The doctor was just my annual allergy testing, but after spending over 2 hours at the doctors office, getting pricked over 75 times while sitting there with a 5 and 2 year old who'd had enough after 1/2 hour, I was SPENT!

March is over and April is here.  It's going to get better.

Korea trip update

Sorry, I don't really want to reiterate it here.

http://chaostimes5.blogspot.com/p/tickets-to-korea.html

8 and 5

That is the number of Gotcha Days we've had with our girls.  Kaelin has been home 8 years last Saturday and Chelsi's was 5 years this past Monday.  So hard to believe the blessings we've had...even if we don't come off that way sometimes.  We're human and your average family, so yeah we argue sometimes, but God I love them!

Chelsi had her Kindergarten screening yesterday.  Where has the time gone?  I'll have my 4th child entering school this fall.  I'm not sad or weepy over it.  Just in awe that we're at this point.  I'm proud of her and not worried about the person she has become, so I'm ready for her to go and so is she.  When we left school, I asked her how it went; because parents are not allowed in with the kids.  She confidently said "It went well.  They asked me a lot of questions.  I knew all the answers.  It was easy."  I cracked up at her no nonsense answer that exuded complete confidence in herself.  She does NOT get that from me. 

While we (Jaemin and I) were hanging out at school waiting on big sis we got to meet another parent.  I was in the office keeping Jaemin busy and one of the staff asked about his name.  No one can remember his name.  I guess it's just different enough that everyone wants to call him Jaden or something like that, but can never remember Jaemin.  So, when she told us it was neat, I told her it was his Korean name and we decided to keep it.  The other mom was sitting in earshot of the conversation and asked if he was Korean.  When I told her he was, she excitedly said "I'm Korean too".  We talked quite a bit while we both waited.  She had twin boys being screened at the same time.  She took a picture of Jaemin to text her sister and say "This is what my boys were supposed to look like."  They're half caucasian and she thought Jaemin was the cutest thing ever.  So after my teacher meeting they told me I could go get Chelsi.  The teacher talked to me as we walked to the gym to get her and she told me how she overheard Chelsi and the twin boys talking about being Korean.  Apparently, the boys had asked her if she was Chinese.  She told them that she was Korean and asked if they were Chinese.  They told her they were Korean too and the 3 hit it off perfectly.

By the time I got to the gym she introduced me to her new friends and she was SO excited to tell me they were Korean.  She couldn't wait to tell her dad too.  We live in a very small town with a very small school.  I couldn't believe my luck when Kaelin had 2 Asian adoptees in her grade and another Asian girl.  I didn't think we'd get that lucky again.  And now Chelsi has two little boys that are Korean!  Them being Asian doesn't totally define them, but obviously it's more important to Chelsi than she lets on.  She wouldn't have been so excited if it didn't matter to her just a tiny bit.  For that I'm excited!

TV Choices

I want to get rid of satellite so BAD!  There are no good options.  We don't get anything (no locals) without it.  There's no for sure that we could without a very large and high antenna because of the hole we sit in.  I know that in a lot of areas $110 for tv, internet and phone isn't bad, but sometimes it just seems so wasteful.  A part of me wonders if we didn't have many choices in tv, if the kids would study even more, etc.?  Can't help but think that.  But, at the same time, I think Brian works so hard and deserves his ESPN.  The only thing he really asks for. 

I signed up for a month of free Netflix to check it out.  Since Grandma gave us a Wii for Christmas we can finally try this out.  The kids REALLY like it.  So, last night I ordered 2 Rokus to go in the other rooms.  There are other things you can watch through the Rokus too and no price.  I'll find out after we get them.  I wanted to speed up our internet so Netflix wouldn't have to constantly retrieve, but I'm not positive the $10/month more it would cost me would fix the issue.  The phone company says yes, but not willing to guarantee it and allow me to go back to my 768 speed at my grandfathered in price.  We're only paying $53/month for satellite, which is pretty cheap....just still seems frivolous.  Of course, $53 includes a $10/month discount I talked them into until December of this year.  ESPN360 maybe offering something in the future through Roku or internet.  At that point, we'll probably dump satellite totally.  I can live with Netflix and the other avenues we'd have at at least a $20/month cost savings.  Netflix will be $10/month to keep, so not terrible.  I can downgrade our satellite one more notch and that will cover it.

What I'd REALLY like to do is get rid of satellite totally, but I really need to get our locals first.  You can't watch the local news live and I do think it's important to do that.  I think we're going to be stuck with satellite for awhile. 

Transitions

Every full moon Jaemin doesn't sleep.  He literally lies in bed with his eye closed, but don't be mistaken, he's awake.  The second I sneak by his bedroom, to go to bed, he opens them and starts to cry.

Last night I took him back to his bed.  He came to my room screaming, so I locked the door.  He went back to bed and stopped crying, but 1/2 hour later I could still hear him whimpering in bed.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I brought him into bed.  I don't know what happened or why he started sleeping with me 6 months ago, but he's really gotten to where he has to.  He flopped in my bed and sat up several times until after 11:30.  Somewhere in there, and I don't remember when or how it came about (I was WAY tired) I went into his room, got his paci and made him throw it in the trash.  I told him that he he wanted to sleep in my bed every night that was fine, but paci had to go forever then.  He's REALLY attached to his paci, so all I could think was 'I'm going to pay for this at naptime tomorrow'.

Tomorrow's here.  So far so good.  I doubt he'll power nap as usual, but he DID go to sleep without it.  He asked me where it was and I reminded him that he was a big boy.  I asked him if Cole had a paci and he said 'no'.  I asked him if Chase had a paci and he said 'no'.  Then, I asked him if big boy Jaemin had a paci and he said 'yes'.  I told him was all gone in the trash forever.  He laid down for a second, but when I walked back by he was sitting up playing.  So since he HATES his door being closed I told him to lay down or I close the door.  He's such a little stinker, he said 'close the door'.  It was only about 1/2 hour later and he was sleeping, so that's good for him.  We'll see how future naps go, but dang, if he's gonna sleep in my bed no matter what, I'm getting something out of the deal.

On the potty front, Chelsi has been dry 11 nights in a row!  Yep, after we moved back into the house, not one wet night.  We're on week 9 o f the 12 week chart that came with the alarm.  So, I have to say, I'm pleased with the alarm....all $110 of it.  I really do think it trains their bodies.  In the beginning, if she rooted around too much or cried in her sleep, I knew she'd be wet.  But, now she stays dry even then.  She doesn't even run to the potty in the morning anymore.  She's holding it longer all of the sudden.  Now, when she first goes down she does go often.  Some nights she'll get up twice more to go potty.  I guess just a final empty.

It just feels so good to get somewhere.  To think maybe some day we'll have no pullups or diapers to purchase.  I know it may be awhile until little man is trained too, so all in all I'll end up with about 15-17 years of diapers.  YIKES!  Oh well, what can you do?