We went big and then went home

 We booked these flights originally. They weren’t upgrades because I happened to be up late when I was looking for the flights and they were super cheap. They’re not as nice as Delta One international, no doors etc, but still pretty nice if you’re on a plane for 8+ hours. The food in lounge one Honolulu was the best. It had Hawaiian food along with really great tropical drinks. I had a blue Hawaiian for the first time and it was delicious. It’s a much quieter lounge there too. The flight food wasn’t too bad but @delta didn’t have mashed potatoes with the dinner like the menu said. I was fine but I was kind of looking forward to the garlic butter potatoes. Still didn’t sleep all that well but that wasn’t the fault of the ride.  All in all such s great experience. 

#flydelta #deltaone #honolulu #skylounge 

Don’t pay your bills

 

Gotcha!

I ALWAYS pay my medical bills right away. I have a high deductible health plan but have been putting away money monthly for several years into my health savings account.  I ALWAYS have the money to pay this way.          

BUT WAIT!       

 I also ALWAYS read my bill to make sure the insurance allowance is on there and matches my EOB from my plan and make sure it’s the services I received.  This bill was generated by a hospital that my doctor was attached to when I went to HIS office for a cortisone injection in my hand. I was never in the hospital and was billed like I received surgery in an OR.  This made my bill from the hospital over $1000 in addition to the $200 bill from my doctor.  I called the biller and they said that’s just how they bill.  I then called the doctor’s nurse and told them about it. He agreed it sounded weird and said he would ask someone who might know. Low and behold a couple weeks later my insurance processed a new bill with me owing $1 for the steroids and the original bill is gone.  I saved over $1000 by saying something.  Check your bills. This isn’t the first time I’ve been misbilled so always check. 

Now do I agree with the $1?  No  I never received anything from that hospital and the last shot had a $.10 allowable from the doctor because HE billed the steroid.  However, chances are I’ll never see a bill for $1 anyways.

 #incorrectmedicalbilling #savemoney #reviewbills 

Kūhiō Beach Vibes

 

We stayed near Kuhio Beach and walked Kalakaua Avenue every day.  It was where we saw the parade during the festival and was the street where the Royal Hawaiian Center was located.  You see places like Jimmy Choo, Harry Winston and Stussy. There is a great open air food court to eat affordable foods you’re familiar with as well as grab some yummy malasadas. We enjoyed these outings so much. It’s a laidback Beverly Hills sort of vibe.  The street entertainment at night was pretty cool too. Definitely a nice area to stay. 

FYI our home base was the Pacific Monarch Hotel

#kuhiobeach #waikiki #streetentertainment

Life flashes

 

before your eyes. But it’s really their life. 

This. This is what I see in my head in just seconds when someone says something so benign but somehow my son comes to mind. We had college orientation a week ago and the professor that spoke to the parents (very interesting man) spoke of the day he sent his daughter off to kindergarten when she was younger and how he cried. He was talking about parents not being ready to let our kids go onto the next phase while they are excited and ready. My son immediately came to mind even though I was there for our youngest daughter and just like that. I’d seen him in my head from birth to death and thinking about what I have left of him.  One of these days I hope this lessens a little. Not so much that I can no longer hear his voice in my head or picture him walking up the stairs when he came home to visit but enough that not every mention of certain milestones don’t make me cry in public. 

#healing #momslove #missmyson

Grief always finds you

 

Raw and real.  I don’t like this part of me. The part that feels vulnerable and weak. But I know there’s someone that needs this. Just to know they’re not alone and that this pain is a lot to carry every single day while you try to smile and go on.  This song was on my Spotify list when I decided to exercise and it hit.  I miss him terribly and need a 5 minute break from life. 

You can’t hide from it.  It finds you at the most inopportune times and moments.  It catches you off-guard and you have to just experience it.  I’ve been told I have to experience it or it will never get better.  I’ve also been told by close friends with similar losses that you eventually learn to live with the grief and it never really leaves you.  I know I’m at the beginning and have a long road ahead of me.

#takeabreak #griefisreal  #letitout

FestPAC 2024 Waikiki

 

Walking to the Royal Hawaiian Center to find something to eat and I had just asked her if she wanted to watch the parade I knew would be starting. In true 18 year old girl fashion she looked at me annoyed and said no.  But when we came across it she locked up to watch it. It was so fun seeing so many proud Asians/Pacific Islanders making beautiful music and dancing. #pacificislander #festpac2024 #waikiki

Help your kids help themselves…….please!!

 I’ve heard this same thing from others who are in charge of hiring young people.  I don’t think this just applies to jobs. This applies to scholarships. I know people, personally, who have filled out the scholarship applications and written essays for their kids to ensure they’ll get the awards.  I want my kids to get them to; the jobs and the awards. But who needs them?  They do. So I agree. They need to do the work and feel the disappointment when they just don’t get chosen or they miss deadlines or don’t do things correctly. Start at home. Give them chores and assignments. Not for money. Our kids don’t have a lot of chores but they do have them and I give them extra work especially during the summer if they’re not working much.  See how well they follow instructions. Have them redo things to some extent. Maybe not perfect but they will have a boss or scholarship reviewer who expects directions to be followed.  

Give them these opportunities by restraining yourself as a parent and not doing it for them. Teach them to set up reminders on their devices.  Show them shortcuts or organizational skills to help them better complete these applications.  Give them advice on the essay, after they’ve written it and let them know they can take it or leave it…it’s theirs. Make it theirs!

Some of my kids have gotten jobs and scholarships they really wanted and needed.  Some have been turned down.  But in the end I’m proud of them no matter what because they put themselves out there and did it themselves.  Whatever they have gotten is their accomplishment, not mine.

Here’s what I really don social media:

“For the past two summers I've been the pool director at a country club pool.

I have a staff of 11 lifeguards - seven boys and four girls. Nine of the guards are college freshmen and sophomores, and two are high school seniors.

This isn't my first job as a country club pool director, but it is my first job as a country club pool director since becoming a parent. 

Over the past two summers I have noticed some common threads with lifeguard applicants and my staff.

These are my anecdotal observations and not scientifically backed data or research, but I have consistently seen the same thing repeat itself over and over again.

Guards whose parents micromanage and do everything they can to prevent their kids from failing are my least dependable guards.

They don't know how to pay attention to detail, and they are not proactive. 

This isn't specific to one gender, but I see it predominantly with boys. 

I've received applications filled out by parents. I've received emails, texts, and private messages from parents asking questions their kids are capable of asking themselves.

What I have learned from personal experience, both with my own kids and my employees is that the best way to help kids learn and grow and become independent and reliable is to stop doing things for them.

Let them learn how to communicate with adults. Let them miss deadlines. Let them miss out on job opportunities.

Let them be responsible for both their good and their bad results. 

Let them learn from their mistakes. 

They will not make the same mistake twice if it costs them time or money or opportunity or all three.

But they will continue to be flake jobs if they know you are going to do the important stuff for them no matter what.

This is how mothers of boys, in particular, perpetuate the cycle of men who don't contribute equally at home.

When you are raised by a mother who does things for you in order to make sure you don't miss out, you don't suddenly snap out of it when you get married or become a parent.

In most cases, you do what you know.

As parents, if we want to put dependable, reliable, proactive and successful teenagers out into the world, we have got to be willing to let them struggle and fail.

Because that's the only way for them to grow. Failure is a necessary part of a healthy human experience. 

Because failure isn't actually failure.

It's a guidepost. 

You're either winning, or you're learning.

Let your kids learn.”