Children Center

Do you ever wonder if your children center you a bit?  I think they do.  They make me feel that way sometimes.

While, at work, I freaked a bit at the prospect of my $200-300 paycut in January and still figuring out the details of Cole's heart issues I can be free at home.  For some reason, after Cole's appointment tonight I just feel okay.  Okay enough anyways.  He and I have had some nice conversations yesterday and today about life, which is nice to have with your 13 year old.  I told him how much I believe that God will take care of us.  And I meant it.  I didn't say it so he wouldn't be scared.  He probably still would be anyways.  I told him I still am scared, but not for that.  I'm more worried about him and how he feels.  I told him how much easier it was to watch him have open-heart as an infant as opposed to now that he's old enough to be scared and I can't do anything about it.  I asked him to place his trust in God.  The same way we did when we leaped in faith for Jaemin.  He told me how happy he was that we did that.  I told him God doesn't steer you wrong...only you do that to yourself.  He seems a little better now.  So, he's done with his xray and we'll talk to them again next week to discuss more of the details of how we went from 0-180 just like that.  I'm hoping for things to make a little more sense next week and then I'll be better yet.

But, as I checked on them all, sleeping in their beds, before I headed to bed tonight I felt so calm and peaceful.  Every single night I'm reminded of how lucky I am.

Lisa