find your happy

I don't have every 'thing' I want, but I have everything I need. I don't have the very smartest kid...I'm not the very smartest person out there. I don't have a big house and the best cars. I don't have the coolest job...by a long shot. But, I have 1 husband and 5 kids. We have survived so much together and keep on going.  Maybe it's just age?  I don't know.

I just know that more and more I realize that, though I still dream everyone does, we make enough to pay our bills.  There may not be anything left at the end of the month, but if you're paying your bills it's all good.

We have survived losing a baby.  We have survived a major heart condition in a child and by God's grace he has done well longer than most.  We have survived a major accident...everyone knows how bad that could have been and was.  We will survive the next open-heart surgery too.

We have had the privilege to experience birth twice!  We have had the privilege of experiencing adoption three times!  And while all 5 were fairly stressful due to adoptions just having a habit of being somewhat stressful and all the tests during pregnancy, I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.  Without each stressful and wonderful experience things wouldn't be exactly like they are today because we wouldn't have made the same decisions.

God really has taken care of us.  He made His plans well known to us; even if sometimes we were afraid to follow and did with a little fear.  Everything we needed whether it be money, a person crossing our life paths, etc., was always there right when we needed it.  I don't mean needed it for that new car, tv or whatever material things exist out there, I mean right when we needed to cover our adoptions and medical bills.

We don't have a perfect family.  Maybe when you see us on the outside we look like a perfect, loving family.  We, undoubtedly, do love each other...even if certain children won't admit it.  We are, however, NOT perfect.  We all yell and argue sometimes.  I put myself in time out from time to time...haven't had to do that in awhile though.  The kids fight amongst themselves and don't pick up after themselves and sometimes....sometimes they raise their voice to us.  GULP!  But, like I said we are family and we DO love each other.  We do a lot together.  We eat supper every night together and most weekend we eat one big breakfast together.  I don't mean in front of a television.  I mean a home cooked meal at the table together.  And we clean up together!  We're kinda dorky that way.

Our kids 'try' to get out of weekend chores and after a little yelling (sometimes) they do them.  Cole vacuums the basement rec room and their bedroom.  Kaelin picks up the rec room.  Chelsi vacuums the basement stairs and Chase cleans the basement bathroom.  Brian and I do the main floor and everything that needs cleaned otherwise.  They don't have it too bad in the chore area really.  They only have to keep their rooms picked up, which doesn't always happen, and help with the kitchen after supper.  But, once every 3 weeks one of the 3 oldest is 'off duty'.  I'm the dishwasher EVERY night.

We're a team.  And when someone forgets that, there's a family meeting to remind them that this boat don't float unless the team members do their individual parts.

I still stress like any other parent and wife.....a lot really.  But, I'm working hard on myself to make myself better to make my life better.  I know that when I feel unhappy in my life from time-to-time it's something for ME to work on and maybe something I just need to get past or let go.  I don't have control over the grades my kids get.  I don't have control over the drama at work (other than to stay out of it as much as humanly possible).  I don't have control over other people and their actions.  I am learning to let it go and sometimes try to ignore the things that, though they feel like they effect me, don't totally.  And to keep sane we must do that.

So be happy with your life.  Let it all go.  Find the happiness somewhere.  Everyone has something somewhere.  You may have to look really hard in your tough time...I know.  But, you have to look for it so you don't fall apart.