It’s been an entire month. An entire 30+ days without our son. I’m doing okay. I’m doing better. But, yesterday I saw something and my impulse was to call him to ask him about it and within a split second I realized I couldn’t. That was a hard moment but one that was going to happen.
For the first time in over a month the corner of my counter is empty. For weeks it sat there with lists of people to send thank yous to, checks and money from people to forward to the charities and other things to take care of. Don’t get me wrong. We’re still dealing with things of his to close out and take care of that just takes time but it’s dwindling down and allowing my thoughts to not be constantly reminded and consumed in utter sadness all of the time.
I still have a little trouble with finding joy. The track meets are hard. I haven’t gotten back to yelling at and for everyone but I’m going and I’m clapping to cheer the kids on. And when I go downstairs I get to see his favorite hats hanging where nothing was ever hung before and instead there was just emptiness that seemed awkward. Deer mounts on the wall that he begged me to hang while he was traveling and a jersey framed that he loved. All things that can now make me smile and think of him.
#missyou. #lostson #tryingtoheal
No comments:
Post a Comment