Today we took our son’s ashes to all of his favorite places and returned him to God. I prayed so hard for this child 28 years ago and was blessed with his birth 27 years ago. And today we gave him back. It was hard yet peaceful at the same time. The last little bit was the hardest. We cried. I’m glad we did it together. Just the 6 of us. 6 of us. It’s always been 7. I’m just not sure about this yet.
We got to his camper to clean things out today. Originally I wasn’t supposed to help. But I think it was good for me. We didn’t know that in his downtime from his job he was making candles and jewelry. As we went through the important things and maybe some unimportant, the kids all grabbed small things that just made them think of Cole. Jae took all of the sunglasses. Shirts, coats, Cardinals memorabilia coin and of course all of the hunting and fishing things. His Godfather, who plays guitar, took the guitar to remember him by. I’m sure to a lot of people none of this would be anything but junk but we will always think of Cole with these things. The hats hanging in our basement along with his jersey and deer. The old dirty hat one of his good friends wanted. We left the camper still filled with some of his things. Today was enough. I may go back for one of his cutoffs to wear kayaking. My tribute to my son. We said it all of the time about him. He was freakishly strong and the hardest worker we ever knew. Every employer always confirmed that.
My son Cole. Amazing. I wish I had the chance to tell him that more often. Tell your kids the truth. But make sure they always know the good and the bad. Follow up something you don’t like with something you do. I know he knew because we talked about this stuff but I’ll never get to tell him again.
I love you so much and I’ll continue our conversations.
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