Regrets anyone?

Do you have regrets in your life?  I think most people have some.  While some would do their whole life over again; I think most would choose just to tweak theirs.

I would like to tweak mine.  Sure, I think it would have been better if I had finished college, etc., but that would have changed my destiny and my children that I have, so I really don't dwell on that.  It's not a regret that makes me stay awake at night.  The regret I have is how I parent.  I'm always people watching in public wondering if everyone's a better parent than I am or we are.  Do they all lose it from time to time (sometimes more often than others) and yell or say something they regret and have to apologize for?  Sometimes, it doesn't seem as though that's the situation.  I feel like a really awful parent sometimes....a lot of times.  I wish I could calmly say 'no what made you choose to do that?' instead of 'what the heck were thinking?' or worse.  I'm pretty honest with my kids about life, but am I too honest sometimes.  Do they need to know the intricacies of being an adult?  Okay, no I don't share the gory details of everything adult, but I do try to prepare them for some heartache and pain.

The thing is, I know it's not too late on my 3 youngest.  I can change the sort of parent I am and when they talk to each other as adults it will be as if they grew up in different households...hopefully.  It feels too late for my older ones.  Is how I react to situations going to hurt the people they become?  I pray not.  I pray they become better parents than I am.  Am I terrible?  I know I'm not terrible.  I know there are worse, but I feel like I could be better.  I want to be better.  I pray I can change and be better while instilling the same respects into them for the long term.

He's gonna scare his momma!

My little man.  I absolutely love Jaemin with all my heart and soul, but that boy is one day gonna give me a huge scare.   We took the kids to the pool today since we had a freebie after swimming lessons.  Jaemin wanted his floaties off and since we were in the 2 foot area I let him have it off.  I was right there.  So, picture this.  There is 2 feet of water and Jaemin is 35 inches (1 inch under 3 feet).  He goes under.  Now, I knew he wasn't scared of putting his head under because every time we're in the 1 foot baby pool during swim lessons he puts his head under and practically kisses the bottom. 

He would bend his legs in that 2 foot pool and squat down.  I'm not talking about quickly bobbing under to get it over with, I'm talking slow motion enjoying going under.  He LOVES the water so much.  Then, Chelsi was swimming next to him and I told him to kick his feet and move his arms and swim under water like Chelsi did.  Sure enough my brave little man kicked his feet in back of his body floated down into the middle of the water and and kicked and swirled his arms around.  I left him go for a bit and he was still down.  Much longer than I swear any 2 year old has stayed under water.  I'd finally grab his feet and put them on the bottom of the pool.  Jaemin would stand up and smile; no water coughing, nothing.  That boy can hold his breath at 2 years old.  He' purely amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I fall more in love with Jaemin with every passing day of getting to be his mother.  I'm so blessed.

Another Swim Class Complete

The kids go to swim lessons every year.  Even if it's out of our budget, it's kind of a must in my mind.  Safety's a big issue and it's good for them to feel absolutely comfortable in the water...especially with so much around here.

Chelsi was in level 2, while Cole, Chase and Kaelin were in levels 6, 5 and 4 respectively.  Next year Chelsi will be in level 3; scary a 6 year old small girl in 4 foot of water.  Chase will be in level 6; we're expecting him to need to spend 2 years there.  :)  Kaelin will repeat level 4.  Cole passed level 6, so next year he will be old enough to take a lifeguard certification and do that if he chooses.  He's going to call them tomorrow to see what to expect next year since it costs around $130 and I can't afford to pay for it for him.  Though I'd love to see him have a job at 15 to start saving some money and would be more than happy to drive him there.

As for Kaelin not passing, it's no big deal.  I tell the kids every year before they start that it's not about passing or repeating.  It's about learning and mastering the skills they teach.  I have no problems paying for them to go back the following year and they try hard, so I know it's not for lack of trying.  I'm proud of them regardless!

Sticker Face Again

I had an irritating night with the kids, so I'm not really in a mood for a cutsie post.  Jaemin was my little angel tonight.  The big kids, believe it or not, could have learned from him.

I finally unloaded my little pocket camera's photos tonight and found a picture of Jaemin from the drive home from Alabama last month.  He totally kept himself entertained by taking all of the stickers off the sheets and putting them in various places on his face.  He would feel for an empty spot with his fingers and then stick them on.  While he was very very quiet on the drive, getting the residue from the stickers off took DAYS!

Here are the lovely photos Brian took last night while my dad and step mom were in town.  They brought me a cake for the first time in like 20 years, so Brian took a picture.

Another birthday gone

Yep, that's right, this time it was my birthday.  I won't say how old I am, but I'm still young enough to adopt from Korea again.  So those that are Korean adoptive parents know about the vicinity I'm in.  And by the way, I have some years to go before I age out there.

Anyways, I had a good birthday day. Nothing crazy outstanding, but a good day is a good birthday.  I got by without too much at work...I think only my boss's boss knew it was my birthday today and she brought some stuff.  My darling daughter Kaelin told my mom to give me the present she bought me for Christmas to me today, so I got a new purse, thanks to her.  :)  My dad has been in town for a couple of days, so he and his wife brought me a car and gift card and then got me a cake.  I haven't had a birthday cake in some time.

I have to say, they did actually pull something over on me and I'm pretty observant.  Brian told me he wanted to make me birthday brownies, so he stayed home from swimming lessons tonight.  I thought it was odd that the house didn't smell yummy when we got home, but I had stuff to do and dad was coming back for a visit, so I didn't have too much time to think about it or question him on why he missed swimming classes.  :)  Then, he had me come in the kitchen and they had a cake with a candle on it.  Wow, I definitely haven't had a candle since I was a teenager almost 20 years ago. 

And best of all, my speech delayed little man gave me a hug and said 'happy birday mommie'. 

Onto another year of life.

Nice evening for a swim

The kids are on their 2nd and last week of swimming lessons.  All 4 of the older kids are enrolled.  Jaemin will be old enough to start the preschool class next year.  My dad has been in town for the last two days, so tonight my roast didn't get done in time (crockpot) to eat and get to lessons, so I decided we'd grab some drinks from home and pick up some hamburgers from McDonalds and eat at the park next to the pool.  We ate and then the kids played on the playground for a bit before they needed to run down the hill to their lessons.  It was nice and relaxing.  I had no mess to clean up and all 5 kids were content to play.  Cole just followed Jaemin around on the gym, so I could just sit and watch.

It was obviously nice enough for them too because Kaelin thanked me for doing that tonight.  She never does that.  So, I am really glad they enjoyed it!

My little man/grant or sponsorship/Di2010/k06

So, I haven't been able to talk on the phone to Dillon staff, but I did receive a quick email that they will be able to take any money I can collect and put it towards a sponsorship if little Mr. Di2010-k06 goes to an institution OR better yet put it in a grant for a family that comes forward to make him their child.

I have an email back to her to ask if it will be tax deductible.  Either way, if you can donate it WOULD go to this little guy.  I'm hoping eventually they'll let me post his picture here.  If you haven't filled out the form yet to see him, trust me, he's SUPER cute!  He'll be 3 in September and seems to be on target with the exception of language.  It sounds like he's about where Jaemin is now.  He's talking, just not full sentences and probably not super clear.  He needs someone to bring him home and get him into some speech therapy and let him grow.