I have hurt so much, in my heart, over the years of parenting. It's so awesome to celebrate with the kids, but when they hurt I'm not convinced I don't hurt double. It literally hurts to see or hear them hurting.
Cole, came home from practice yesterday and was definitely upset. It took awhile, but I got it out of him that a volunteer coach, that is not affiliated with the school in any way, said some things that I found less than an appropriate for an adult to say to a 14 year old. He said that he 'sucked' and would 'never win a match' and 'never amount to anything'. He cried so hard he gasped. That's so hard to watch your tough teenager do that. The 'coach', and I say that lightly, said it quiet enough to make sure the other boys didn't hear it and he waited for the head coach and assistant coach (the teacher/paid coaches) to leave before he did it. It was something he had planned and waited for his moment to break him.
We both talked to him for awhile last night. We tried to talk him into bringing it to the attention of the head coach, but a part of him was afraid one of the other volunteer coaches (who is a teacher and this guy's friend) would retaliate against him, academically. I could see that based on conversations I've had with this teacher. So as hard as it was I said nothing last night or today. We spoke to him again tonight and Cole says it's all fine he just wants to forget about it. We told him he should still approach the head coach, but we decided to leave it up to him. I asked him to write down his exact words and the date in case he pulled anything next year, should Cole decide to wrestle and I told him if he did say anything or do anything next year something will said and it will be stopped immediately. Bullying is hard enough from your peers, which Cole has experiences, but adults? Come, stinkin' on!
As of last night he said he wasn't going to wrestle next year, but tonight he said he probably still will. We told him, last night, he cannot let this guy keep him from doing what he enjoys. I would be livid if he quit after liking it so well, because of what this adult said! As long as he still plans to wrestle, on his own terms, I won't say anything. He seems much more upbeat today and is ready for districts. So, while I'm still a little upset and know this guy had no place saying such a thing to any kid, I am respecting Cole's decision after much discussion. He went out with some friends after practice (I know he was shocked I let him go too) and seemed pretty happy after all that.
I know I've said it before. People think terrible twos and threes, etc. are so horrible. The older your child get the harder it gets. The harder the hurts are for them and that hurts so much on mom. Now, I'm praying, like crazy, and if you can pray too that would be great, that there will be an upset at districts and somehow he'll be a state qualifier. I want nothing more than for this heart kid to do things no one thought he ever would. I don't mind watching my kid lose, honestly. It's not about bragging rights, but for all the other heart kids out there and just for his spirit I want to see him go just that far!
2 comments:
OUCH!! Lisa, we're years behind but I so understand how you feel --- except for TKD where it's on the individual, we've run into coaches, parents and other athletes who are just JERKS! Hugs to you and to Cole - I hope he follows his "heart" and does what he wants no matter what anyone else says.
Thanks Jane. Thank goodness the other wrestlers were so kind to him the entire time. Way more mature than this guy. I thanked one of the parents last night for how nice his senior, son, was to Cole the whole season. He said he liked Cole because of how hard he tried no matter what. All of the parents of seniors commented to Brian tonight including the head coaches wife to say how well Cole did and how impress they were. It sure felt good.
Post a Comment