Perfection and Imperfection

In connection with my last post, I wanted to say that my children have perfections and imperfections.  I don't even know them all yet as some of them are still very young.  I'm learning to appreciate all of these imperfections as I'm getting to see more of their perfections, knowing that no one person is perfect.

I'm here to talk openly about it.  I won't say anything that will hurt my child or try not to, just to make other parents realize they are not alone.  Half the battle of parenting is realizing that you are not the only one with imperfect children so you can feel better and quit beating yourself up.  I know I beat myself up, plenty as a parent even when I know I'm not alone, thinking I should be a better parent then I try so hard to be.  I want to be a perfect parent to my children and I'm finding I'm not capable of that.  I'm hoping that as long as I'm trying my best, though, God will understand and my kids will forgive me for my lacking areas. 

What do I love about them and really, strongly dislike about them?  Hmmm?

• Cole is great at giving us dirty looks when he dislikes our parental decisions or really to anybody he feels has wronged him.  Cole has a short fuse with his siblings, but I don't think can really imagine his life without them.  I wish he had a stronger ability to show his love for members of his family, on his own.  Cole has a strong will that has kept him surviving with a heart condition that could have kept him down or worse.  Cole has worked hard to try to live with his ADHD and do things that others can do with ease.  Cole is working to accept the live God gave him and the things his heart prohibits him from doing while his peers do freely.  You have to think highly of a teenager who has to deal with such an adult issue.  Even adults wouldn't deal that great with this.  I have high hopes for Cole.  Because he's been through so much he has tools young adults don't come into adulthood with and this will make him better and stronger if he allows it.  Cole can talk to adults like a young adult already.  Cole is pretty funny, but doesn't always have the confidence to show it to everyone.  Cole has some common sense that will help in as he gets older and as a teenager especially.
• Chase has a knack for throwing great tantrums.  He's the only one that gets mad enough to use his words and say "I hate you" to us.  He's really good about finding something else to do when work needs done around the house, but works hard if they're outside and work needs done for someone else.  Chase still hugs and kisses his mom goodnight and I know he'll find it bad that I put this in writing, but it's a great thing to a mom and he won't understand until he's a dad how many parents always want hugs and kisses from their kids no matter how old.  Chase is a funny, fairly confident kid that can be anywhere and have fun.  Chase is a good athlete, but doesn't let that rule who he is and remembers his brother and his limits and I believe he realizes how lucky he is to do the sports he wants without his brother's limits.  I'm thankful he doesn't make it a big deal to Cole and Chase's sweet heart keeps him from making it a big deal so Cole doesn't feel any worse.  Chase is a creative artist.  This creativity will far beyond art.
• Kaelin.  She is a dingy replica of her aunt.  Sorry M, but she looks like you and acts like you and that's not a bad thing because I love you too.  Kaelin can be a leader, but with her friends is often a follower and wish she were more confident to lead.  Kaelin is drama almost 24/7.  Kaelin can make wrong choices and hide them well.  Kaelin is sometimes too agreeable and doesn't always verbalize how she really feels and what she really wants.  This can be good and bad, but most parents what to know the truth of their child's feelings.  Kaelin doesn't always like to take responsibility and own her bad choices.  Kaelin is BEAUTIFUL; inside and out.  Kaelin has her own style and I hope she'll always be confident enough to go with it and believe in herself.  Kaelin is a good person, she just needs a little more belief in herself  to show everyone who she is and they can see what we already know about her.  Kaelin is really funny.  It's fairly subtle sometimes, but it's truthful and funny all at the same time without being hurtful to anyone.  Kaelin's the kids that's on top of things and prepared.  
• Chelsi is a little emotional.  Chelsi has a temper and can't walk semi-quietly, for such a little body, to save her life.  Chelsi has a tendency to be so smart that when she acts her age you want to get mad at her, but then have to remember how old she really is and that she's just normal sometimes.  Chelsi still looks like the sweet baby I brought home 5 1/2 years ago.  She has that sweet round face that my mom told me I always had and I was the only one of the grandkids to get the round face my great grandma always thought was so beautiful.  Chelsi's jokes are innocent yet written for adult funny.  She gets everything and you can just talk with her.  She is so proud of her little brother and is so happy to have him with her and she makes sure we know she loves him; though she yells at him often enough.  Chelsi is still a cuddler. 
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• Jaemin is Jaemin.  We say this often because he is the only one like himself.  He is a one of a kind kid. He's so stubborn, wild and unruly.  Sometimes he seems to catch onto things slower than his peers, but out of the blue will let you know he knows it.  He's quirky and beyond active.  Jaemin can take time to stop in for a hug or a kiss.  Jaemin is huge fan of anything ball; baseball, football, basketball.  Jaemin is almost always smiling; 5 minutes after he's in trouble or mad he's smiling again.  Jaemin is growing up too fast for his mommy.

The thing my kids all have in common is that they are all smart.  Varying degrees, yes, but they are smart and have a lot of academic capabilities.  My kids all, even though they don't want to admit it, have a love for each other and will help each other when one another really need it.  My kids are all loving, beautiful kids.  I love talking to my kids.  I love our individual talks we have.  They remind me that they think far more than we give them credit for sometimes and make me realize that they're becoming great people...or remind me of that better yet.  My kids all make me crazy, but give me reasons everyday to make me remember how much I love them and am thankful for them the way they are.  My kids are exactly who God meant them to be and always will be.  They are a beautiful mess of perfection and imperfection gift wrapped and ready to be opened slowly.