Baby, baby, baby

Nothing like a labor that's very short.  Problem is you don't know how long it will actually be, so what do you do?

So far, I've spent the last month, since finding out we have a son, doing plenty of paperwork.  Signatures, notaries, copies of birth certificates, you name it, we've done it!  Tomorrow, I'm sending our official acceptance Fed Ex, back to the agency.  It won't leave for Korea until 4/20 due to their schedule, but this will give them plenty of time to check it for errors.  I got it all scanned and copies tonight, which felt really good.  After we go to immigration next week, we should have no more paperwork.  We will have officially done about 3-4 months of paperwork in 1 month!  This paperwork ends up being about 3 inches thick when you're through with it.  Really amazing when you get through it all.

As far as getting ready for Jaemin, we're getting there.  We're still working on the big boy's new room.  We're going to have to pay to get some help so we can get it done in time.  Only so much you can do when you both work and have 4 kids.  We have the basics of what we need, so we'll be okay.  Our friends are letting us borrow their crib mattress.  We still, amazingly, have the crib.  I was just about to sell it at this month's rummage sale.  I left a booster with tray at mom's, so we're getting that back until Brian can make a bench to go with the table we have.  We're slowly getting some clothes.  I have a whole rough tote now.  I went rummage saling for some and some girls at work have brought in some.  He has PLENTY of toys!  Another girl at work is having her son bring home some clothes from her niece's 2 year old in May.  Someone else at work bought us a diaper bag.  It was actually the one I'd been eyeing at Kmart, so that was pretty cool.  She filled it with receiving blankets, socks, bottles and nipples.  We have enough to get by now.  I think the only thing I'll have to, eventually, get is clothes that will fit at this age, more socks, diapers, wipes, blah, blah, blah.  :)

Once we get the boys moved out, paint and carpet Jaemin's room and buy a dresser or chest for Jae we can get the clothes out and figure out what we still need.  We should have around 2-3 months to do this.

We'll get it done......eventually.

Lisa

We have a referral!

It's the official referral.  They expected it by 5/1, so this was great news!  We're getting everything taken care of this week, hopefully.  Then the paperwork will be off to Korea.  Once we get his legals and can finish up with immigration we'll really be on our way.  Could be as early as June or as late as September.  We're hoping for July!

We got a picture too and he's too cute!  I'll post that after we get our acceptance off to Korea.

Thanks to one of the local bank employees (who's staying late), we're getting our papers notarized quickly.  Hopefully, I have enough time after work to really go through the paperwork and get things in order and ready before we get notarized.

We're getting closer Jaemin!!

BTW, you know what's super funny is I called my mil for something and also told her we had his referral and I was in the middle of packing things up to send to him when I told her what we'd gotten him.  We'd gotten him a little blanket animal and then I bought a 2nd to keep at home in case his foster mother didn't send this one back with him.  She told me how she'd already gotten him and then was telling me about it.  We bought the exact same one.  So now Jaemin has 3!  One for Korea, one to bring home and one to keep at daycare.

Mom

Exhausted....

I think that speaks for both of us.  Brian's been home all week with Kaelin.  She started running a temp last Saturday.  Monday he brought her to the doctor because her kindergarten class has been running Influenza B through the class and we wanted her tested.  The nurse practioner didn't seem to think it was necesary and didn't do it.  So, now, today, Kaelin is still sick after 5 days and Chelsi has it.  We got her in and made them run the test and she tested positive.  So we now have meds for Chelsi, Cole and Chase so hopefully Chelsi's won't last as long and the boys won't get it at all.  I'm FURIOUS at that nurse for thinking she could charge us $25 to tell us it was a virus....REALLY, no kidding?!  The flu generally is!  We wanted to protect the other 3.  We didn't need Chelsi getting it for sure.  With the high temps Kae was running Chelsi would risk another febrile seizure.  So, now we're having to medicate her 'round the clock to keep her from spiking to fast.  I picked the girls up from Brian around 4:30 after he took them to the doctor.  He then went after the meds.  He came home at 8:00 pm!  Waited in line at one pharmacy for an hour to be told they were out and then went to another and had to wait over an hour to fill.  Luckily, while he's been home with sick little Kae, he's been able to work on the boys' room, but he's now at a point he has to wait on others in order to go any further.

We also found out we can't file our I600A without home study.  So we had to cancel our appointment.  And the worker who's been processing that office's I600's for years (and was quite great at it/quick) passed away last week.  I'd just received an email from her two days before she died.  So sad.  She was quite young.  So who knows how slow and delayed that office will be without her.

It's going to be a long, long process!

Lisa

We're getting closer to the money to finish the adoption.

We have been trying our best to come up with every way to pay for this adoption without putting our family at risk. We know we're probably in better shape than some families, but we had not planned on a fifth child or third adoption. And, of course, we'll do anything to bring our son home. We have some money in savings today, we're getting more out of our home by refinancing and cashing out what we responsibly can.  Today we received some additional assistance from someone.

We had already hoped to go to Korea when the girls were older, just the girls and I. Now that someone has to go anyways to get JaeMin we felt this would be our one and only trip to Korea. We cannot leave the girls behind. They've had their hearts set on Korea for a long time. After we decided to go, we realized we couldn't leave the boys behind either. This alone will cost approximately $10,000 if we can get inexpensive tickets and some rooms at SWS' guest house. We expect the adoption to cost almost $41,000 with everything, including finalization afterward. Some money has to be spent to build a small bedroom in our basement garage for the older boys and JaeMin will have a room of his own; the girls share a room as well.  Some money we'll need because I don't have enough leave time to take what I need with JaeMin and will need money to cover the leave without pay I'll take for him.  The adoption alone, will deplete our savings, monetary gift we received and equity out of our home with nothing left.

Even with this...nothing left....we know there have been too many signs for this to be wrong.  I tried to ignore them the first couple of days or so, but everytime I thought there was no way we could God showed me differently.  It was me who had to be shown.  Brian believed all along.  God really did work in this.  We can both see it.  And now we're just a couple thousand $$ short of being able to do everything we need.  That's amazing!

Lisa

More Baby Stuff and Paperwork Fury

Today Chelsi and I went rummage saling.  We found a lot of clothes for Jaemin.  We still don't really have any summer stuff, but that's harder to buy until he gets home because that's what he'll wear right away.  Of course, we got him a Cardinals shirt at one!  He's got some shoes to grow into too.  Chelsi picked out a bunch of Baby Einstein and Usborne toys and books.  They were all .25 and in great condition!  So excited, but we missed out on the crib mattress we really needed.

After that Chelsi, Kaelin and I put together the little scrapbook we have to send to our agency with pictures of us and our life.  The girls colored it and designed the pages.  It looks great.  I have done at least two months of paperwork in the last week.  Fast and furious we're preparing as quickly as we can and anticipating what pictures, forms, letters, etc. anyone may need and getting them ahead so we can get our son here.

Lisa

Let the papers fly!

I have spent the VAST majority of the week filling out papers, scanning them, copying them, you name it.  Working with two different agencies is so much harder.  The coordination alone is hard, but then you also have to fill out twice the papers.   But, after a lot of paperwork and calls we are well on our way.  We should be beginning our home study update this weekend and she hopes to finish next week, maybe the week after.  If that happens it will be the quickest home study in history.  :)  This week we have fingerprinting appointments and physicals.  As soon as that is done and our references return their questionnaires the homestudy can be turned into the placing agency.  At that point, we just wait for the official referral to arrive from Korea.  Once that arrives we can accept our son's placement and Korea will begin moving him through their process to get him a Visa and Passport and permit to arrive.  Once Korea sends his legals (praying they come with his referral), we can file our papers with the United States government.  When all of this is complete we will get the call he can come home.  No sooner than June could this possibly happen and hopefully not long after either.

We're still working on money.  We've turned in the preapplication for one grant.  We have to follow up with our new home study once it's complete in order to be considered, but we didn't want to miss their deadline since we're kind of in a special situation.  We have another we need to finish applying for, but we're waiting on our placing agency to send us a letter to send with our application confirming we're in the process for our son.  We need a good $7-10,000 to be okay.  I was really amazed once I sat down to look at the cost, how much it's gone up since our last two.  It's almost $10,000 more than the other two combined.  Crazy, huh?  Some of the expense is travel.  This agency requires at least one of us travel to Korea.  I can't go and leave the girls.  They're wanting to see Korea so bad.  Since the three of us are definitely going we really don't want to be split up as a family and not receive our Jaemin together, so we're praying we can get enough in grants for all of us to go.

Please pray with us on this.

Lisa

Surprise Adoption

If you get pregnant and don't plan it they call it an accidental pregnancy.  I guess, with adoption, you could call it an accidental adoption, but I don't feel it is an accident.  A surprise felt like a better word and way of describing it.

This recently happened to some acquaintances of ours.  They told us in December that they received a call that their daughter had a brother born in Korea and they decided to bring him home.  As the 5 Korean adoptive families sat at the table on Lunar New Year shocked one of our own had this happen, I reinforced to Brian that this is rare.  It seemed so extremely rare.  We discussed what would happen if it happened to us, but it was a very short conversation.  I said yes and he said no and I thought what's the point of any argument since this is rare and wouldn't happen to us anyways.  That night we left it at; we would discuss it.  Enough said.

So here we are 1 1/2 months after that conversation having the conversation again because it happened to us.  We got a sibling call.  One of our daughters has a baby brother in Korea and we have the choice to adopt him too.  I don't think I expected the shock and feelings and concerns and thoughts that came after that call.  We got it on a Thursday and both took off to go home and discuss so we wouldn't have the kids to preoccupy us and make the discussion any more complicated.  We both went back and forth.  We made a pro and cons list, discussed, cried, discussed some more and finally just quit talking out of exhaustion.  That Friday morning we didn't talk about it at all.  I think we were still both tired and still both very much processing our choices and possible decision.

On the way home that evening I thought about how he didn't think he'd want a fifth, so I decided that if he said no that night, that would be it.  Since I seemed to feel no definite direction, either way, I felt it best to go with Brian.  I had already told him that in no way would I be upset if he said no.  I would grieve for sure.  But, I would not be upset with him, just the situation.  But, when I walked in the door that night he said "okay".  I wasn't sure exactly what he was talking about, but he said we needed to bring him home.  He didn't think either of us could live with the regret of not having him in our lives too.  He's never reacted like that at the thought of another child with any of the first 4.  I felt that as a sign too, since I was still processing myself.  We called the agency to tell them that depending on the medical information we wanted him here.  We both knew that if the baby had any medical conditions or indicators of future problems we just couldn't do it.  We know anything's a possibility at anytime, but if we knowingly go into a more difficult situation on top of 4 kids already we just didn't feel prepared enough for that.  We have discussed how we will add a room to the garage for the older boys and the baby will get his own room by ours.  We realized how we cannot fit even 1 parent and all 5 kids in Brian's car, so we will have to adjust the way we do things such as picking them up after school and daycare.  His mom has an opening in daycare so our son will be able to go with Chelsi to daycare everyday, which is great!  I even went to talk to our priest last Sunday and he made me feel much better.  This time it was me dragging my feet a bit.

Korea responded to my email this past week answering my questions about birth circumstances and health.  They also gave us his birth date and name, which made him more real.  There was nothing there to give us a reason to say no, so we gave them a definite yes.  I felt much more ready after reading the email.  Of course, we still have to wait on Korea to approve us due to Brian's accident last year, but I"m told it shouldn't be a problem since he healed so well and we have a surgeon's letter to back us up.  I'm just the type of planning person that needs a little adjustment time for major life changes...of course rarely do major life changes give you that luxury.

Is the money a concern...yep!  It's just every time we felt so far away from coming up with the money for the fees God sent us an answer.  Now we're close enough that it's not going to be easy, but it's possible.  So, we can refinance the house and cash out some, clear out savings and get a small loan for the rest.  We're praying hard for grants right now.  This will be our answer to paying off the loan quickly.  With 5 kids, we really need to keep a savings account.  We're trusting God and going forward in faith.  We believe He will help us as He always has.  The day-to-day of raising of our son doesn't scare me.  We've done this before and we can do it again.  It's on the fees, so come on grants....we need some!!!

Lisa