Wednesday, April 30, 2014
The month pretty much flew by. Started it out staying at home with Cole after his surgery, then shuttling him around until he could drive. He's now driving on his own and back in school for a couple of full weeks. And, though, he's again not driving because his car's in the shop, he will get it back soon. Hopefully. A guy we knew thought he could fix it fairly cheap. Brian and his dad took the head apart and found a rocker arm shaft stripped, so the rocker arm was hitting the top of the cylinder head and making all that racket. Luckily they found it without driving it around so we hopefully didn't make things worse. We may know tomorrow or Friday if it's just what we thought. I can do $200. Not happily after all the other things in that car, but better than $1000+ for a new head in a $2000 car. But, really do you fix the car or replace it? We've put so much into it that if we found another one for what we could afford we'd probably end up putting at least what we have back into that one too. Maybe we won't have to find out.
The school year is winding down and I'm praying Cole can keep his grades up. He's been enjoying his freedoms with his friends, but they will come to a screaching halt if a C creeps back in. He knows the rules and hopefully that taste of running and fun will encourage him. We'll see.
I've been fighting Kaelin lately. Usually it's Brian fighting her on clothes and I take her side, but not on this. I just do not agree with girls wearing leggings when their rear ends aren't covered up. Leave something to the imagination. Why would a guy be interested in something every other guy can see just right out there in the open. She went as far this time as to just put her jeans on over them after I told her her shirt was too short and to change. She apparently thinks I'm that stupid. I now have all of her leggings and big brother is watching her at school for me. If she gets caught in her lies, she'll realize she really can't hide things.
Jaemin had his OT And ST evaluation after speech yesterday. He will most likely not qualify to stay in speech the entire year. We redid a sensory eval too since it's been 3 years. The school is not required to provide support for sensory disorder, but the OT said they've begun to do it on their own for kids with more severe sensory. She thinks there's a chance he may qualify between some of his delays and this. That would be great for when he enters Kindergarten and maybe I won't have so many fears and reservations about him going. Jaemin is SO, SO smart. He reads so well and quickly. He just needs emotional/social help.
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Chelsi had 1st Communion for church this weekend and Chase graduates from 8th Grade this year, so we combined their parties like we did Cole and Kaelin. We lucked out and decided to do their parties the day before 1st Communion instead of after because Jaemin was supposed to have a soccer game (canceled now with all the rain). It couldn't have worked out better. The weather was perfect. We could have everyone in the garage for eating and the kids ran crazy outside. I shredded up 4 beef roasts and then we made a dish of orange and yellow peppers, onions, jalepenos and sauted cabbage to top the barbeque shredded beef. It was very good. We had tons of desserts by the time great grandma and grandma brought some along with the cake and peanutbutter bars we made. I was stressed running all day yesterday and most of Friday night, but it was really good and the two kids had a great time.
The good weekend ended after today with Cole's car breaking down and Brian listened to it and said the noise is bad and we think it's basically done at 108,000 miles. That stinks. We really don't need to be spending money on a car when we have all these medical bills. But, Cole can't get a job without a car. No transit here.
Pictures from Chelsi's day. She was beautiful.
Sunday, April 20, 2014
We got to church this morning just in time to actually get a seat even if our family was divided into two benches. Better than standing. Jaemin wasn't too bad through either. Yesterday, Kaelin and I ran to the bakery to get special donuts for everyone. That's our Easter treat. We don't normally do that sort of thing. We dropped off a gift card to Subway for the family of a friend who is gravely ill. We got quite a lot done yesterday. After all that we went to my mom's for a really quick Easter hunt for the kids, then to Brian's mom's for dinner and hunt. Today was church and then my grandma's for lunch and hunt. It's always nice to see my aunts, uncles and cousins that I don't see all that often. It's fun to see my cousins' kids playing with my kids and they really have fun together. The oldest doesn't allow pictures anymore, so there are very few. I wish he would let me do more. The youngest four don't mind so much. Here's all the great pictures.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Sunday, April 6, 2014
We signed Jaemin up for soccer. He's never done an organized sport and in our town, it's pretty laid back. This was perfect. We needed him to just learn to be part of a team. He does try, I said try, to listen to his coach. He's very literal when he does listen, which is good. He tried for awhile and then just got bored. I'm hoping he'll build on it each week. He does love seeing himself kick in a picture I got, so I'm hoping that incentive for him to not quit half way through next week's game. :)
We shall see.
We shall see.
Jaemin resting as usual.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
My husband is so funny. But, on the flipside, if I didn't work where I do or be the one to pay all of the bills maybe I would have thought the same. I told him what the bill for the hospital was and he thought it wasn't too bad because he thought it was for the hospital, doctors everything. I laughed. I explained to him it was $107,000 for 4 days to use the hospital. Of course, this includes his meds, xrays, tests, etc. And to be honest, I didn't really think it was that bad since his bill in 1997 was $108,000 for just a few days longer, so about double in 16 years.
I'm hoping and praying insurance will adjust that bill out first so that our portion will go to the facility and maybe I can work out a deal with them. After that we'll be maxed out at the $6,600 allowed. It's such a big deal that of that $6,600 I can get as many deals as I can because I'm only allowed to save about $6,500 in my HSA and we have no dental or vision insurance (because it's too much), so out of the $6,500 I have taken out of my paychecks annually, some of that needs to pay for these areas too. As anyone can figure $6,550 to pay for $6,600 in medical bills and $? in dental bills for 7 is not enough. I will need these discounts. And while some may think that's a lot to have $6,500 taken out of my checks annually, you should always max out your HSA because you never know when you'll need the money and it's tax deferred this way. Not to mention, we have yet in the 2 years I've been in this plan and maxing it out to have anything left over. Annual ekgs and echos are expensive. This year was just the max.
I did get a bill from Cole's February MRI for $1480.00. I was able to ask them if they had discounts to pay off totally and they finally, after a lot of other not so great options, offered a 15% discount. I happily took it. That's $222 towards our dental visits we'll get later in the year.
I know it will all work out, but I will be a little tense until it all pans out. Needless to say, everyone will be getting every medication and doctor's visit they need this year since we will not be responsible for anything over the $6,600. I hope one day to have money left in our HSA, but with 5 kids, it's not likely. Cole alone uses up more than 1/2 our deductible every year.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Cole did go back to school part time. This meant I returned to work part time. A lot of coworkers were checking in to see how he was doing, etc. They asked about the surgery etc. I was telling one of my friends about the Saturday Brian came home. Like I posted that day, Cole was in a really sour mood. He was in a ton of pain and they were still trying to regulate pain on a kid that size when they're not that used to it. He had had a bad time of it and didn't want to see anyone, so I had called Brian at the hotel and told him to tell his parents not to come to the hospital before going home and why. I went to the lobby to watch the kids so he could go tell Cole goodbye and sure enough my mother-in-law showed up anyways. I just don't know why she can't respect anything I ask of her. This is MY kid. I was doing what he wished. I told her that he didn't even want me there and the only reason Brian was coming in was because he was leaving to take the kids home and we didn't know exactly how long we'd be there.
I wish just once. Just once. She would look at her son and say 'I know you have this. You're a good dad and I'm proud of you'. Instead we hear how much she needs to help us and even when we say we don't she pushes her way in. She even told him that 5 kids were a lot to manage the first night we were going to be there before the surgery. He did actually tell her, or should I say remind her, that we've been doing the 5 kid thing for 5 years now. We know what it takes.
I never mind offers for help. I've taken some up on their offers. But, I will most likely push back and refuse all help from you if you continue to push when we say no. We will take it if we need it, but we try to do what we can and over the years with all of the stuff we've been through we've learned what limits we have. That's when we will take someone up on an offer. It's something I've had to work on, but I have worked on it and gotten better at it.
However, with my mother-in-law I just can't let her help because of the way she behaves. I'm so irritated that if she ever steps up to me again I may just let her hear it because I don't think I can do this any longer. I mean her son specifically told her Cole did NOT want to see anyone. He was not feeling good. RESPECT our wishes. RESPECT his wishes. She just ticks me off!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And, yeah. I'm still a little bitter because it's happened so much, but this one was icing on the cake, I'm done!
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Cole is just 11 days post op and he wants to try to go back to school part time. First we have to work some things out with the school and then if things go well, he'll go ahead to 4 hours of school tomorrow. Then, next week he'll go back full time, towards the middle of the week.
I'm really happy for how well it's gone, but a little nervous about him trying to go back to normal. The doctor let us know how important it will be that if he gets cut or needs stitches we get antibiotics right away. An infection could more easily go to his heart and reject the valve causing another open heart surgery. It wouldn't even be a cath at that point because the infected one would have to be removed. This threat is for 6-8 months and then we should be able to really breath.
I'm ready to really breath and very thankful it's not more than all of this. He even said he rode 6 miles on the exercise bike last night after he went for a walk outside. The fluid is off his lungs and the doctor said it all looked good.