Just as a precursor, I wanted to say not to take offense to what I have to say.  I'm not good with words, so I don't always quite convey what I mean in a well constructed manner.   Basically, some of the things have to say are just my interpretations of certain areas of the world based on both personal observations and just things learned through other avenues.  This does not make them true and I'm well aware of that.  It may sound very stereotypical from time-to-time, but it's not really meant that way.  I'm just pondering.

I just finished watching a movie about Apache Indians.  Not a true story by any stretch....just a story.  But, everytime I watch a movie with Indians I can't help but wonder where I came from.  I've said time and time again that I feel no culture for myself.  I know of people who eat corned beef and hash on St. Patricks Day or celebrate certain ethnic holidays such as Cinco De Mayo.  We celebrate the US customary holidays as well as our Christian holidays.  But I find the blends of other cultures and customs from other countries so intriguing.  When I used to study my ancestry (years ago) I had found the mixture I came from.  This did not help how I felt lost.  Even my very German side no longer really celebrates anything German.  I mean there's no particular foods and no body speaks German any longer.  Probably since my great grandmother passed away years ago.

My dad's side is even more complicated.  That's where I found evidence of Choctaw Indian; even though by his mother's account (my grandmother) they're Cherokee.  We have never found this evidence though.  There are family stories and many of them, including her name.  His family is also directly from England with a mixture of French, Irish, Spanish, German and Scandinavian.  As Brian says, this makes me a mutt because he's 100% German.  Though I sometimes tell him he's just American like me.

So, when I watch movies I sometimes wonder if some of me is becoming of my biological beginnings.  Do I have certain instincts because of my Indian ancestry?  And really I have fairly good instincts.  Do I believe in signs and look for them for the same reasons?  Am I sort of prim and proper sometimes because of my English ancestry?  Yes, the girls at work like to make fun of me because they can easily make my face turn red with conversation.  It takes very little.  Not to mention, though you can't always tell it here, that I tend to speak fairly properly.  I take it upon myself to constantly correct the kid's English as if I were a teacher.  Bad habit, I know.  I see my very dark brown eyes and wonder where I came from.  But am thankful for those same eyes that give me likeness to my Korean born children.

In turn, I wonder if my Korean born children will have certain tendencies biological to their own ancestry?  Will they wonder...very possible, one of them will, at least.  But will certain things just come to them because of where they came from, not because of who or how they were raised?  I have trouble thinking not.  I already see likenesses to the few facts I know about their birth families.  I sometimes dream about what they will be like as they grow older.  I wonder if these likenesses and the things they seem to be drawn to will continue over the years as if they knew the loves their birth families had? 

I just can't help but wonder how biology plays a part in who we are and who we become.  The mixes of where we came from.  I mean, as the US grows older the mixes, like myself, will become more and more.  I think you will eventually find fewer families that are all Jewish, all Irish, all German. 

Honestly, I'm not even sure where I was going with this or where I want to go.  I guess it's just some thoughts I have that seem to pop back into my head over and over again.  And I think because of how I feel about my backgrounds I tend to cling to my Korean born children's culture even more.  It feels more like my own sometimes.  All in all, I'm just American.  I know that.  They are too.....now.  But, I love culture and traditions.  There's nothing better than having that to remember and fall back on for comfort.

Some things in life ARE free!

Are you a country music fan?  Do you like Brad Paisley?  Have you downloaded his song "This is Country Music" for free yet?

I believe it can be downloaded free of charge until 12/31/10.  He has offered it free as a thank you to country music fans.  I think that speaks highly of him.  I, personally, love his attitude toward life.  I love his quirky songs and the sense of humor so many of them have.  Chelsi and I made sure to add the song to our MP3s tonight.

Get yours soon!

A treat for the girls

I decided since we didn't have any plans for the evening I would treat the girls. 

So, I took Kaelin, Chelsi, Jaemin and Chase all for Christmas haircuts.  This was Jaemin's first time letting someone other than mommy cut his hair and it looks really nice and he did SO good.  Once they gave him that sucker he started smiling really big.  Chelsi and Kaelin got a layer cut into their hair.  After cuts we had to do our Christmas grocery shopping.  I'm not sure we'll have enough time next week, so I tried to plan ahead.  Brian had some aluminum money so he said we could pick up Chase's free Book-It pizza and get pizzas for the rest of us.  YAY!

After supper I gave Chelsi, Kaelin and Jaemin a shower.  Then the girls came back to my bathroom for their treat.  I found my old Mary Kay pedicure stuff and gave them each a pedicure.  I had them soak their feet in a nice warm sink of water.  I went through all the steps and gave them calf and foot massages.  Then, they each picked out a polish color for their nails.  Kaelin picked out the clear sparkle (clear with glitter) and Chelsi picked out a coral sort of color for one foot and a pink/red color for the other.  I found some cuticle oil too and massaged their cuticles and pushed them back.  The girls just leaned back on my counter and relaxed.  They LOVED the massages and kept telling me how good they felt.

See treats can be FREE!!

Ice Day!

I guess that's like a snow day off school, right?  Yep, I have all 5 today.  It was my regular day off and school is closed for ice.  I sent the big boys out to bring in the stuff they left out last night and get trash up before the trash men come and all I saw was them ice skating in their boots.  Yep, the driveway was so slick they could just sit on the hill and slide down on their butts or glide across on their feet.  The dog went running and went into a tailspin.  I think it took him a bit by surprise, by his look. 

I went out to salt some more (on my side of the drive way) and couldn't even walk across the rocks.  I had to make my way to the grass because the gravel was SO slick!  The boys yelled at me after I threw salt on the lower driveway.  They told me I ruined all their fun.  Isn't that what a mom is for?  Now they're in their room cleaning what looks like a tornado ravaged area.  The girls and I already cleaned out the toy boxes and cleaned up the downstairs for Christmas.  I gotta get something out of them when I can.  I have lots of plans for their days off next week, before Christmas.  :)

Lisa

Thankfulness Post #15

This thankfulness post is to the kindness of two strangers.  I got stuck on about 2 inches of ice this morning in, thankfully, a fairly empty parking lot.  I knew after I pulled in I should have backed in, but it was already too late.  When I couldn't get out a guy across the lot came over and asked to get in the driver seat.  I trusted him and he tried to get my van out.  It wouldn't budge, with or without traction control.  It's just no match for solid ice.  Then a guy with a big ole diesel pickup came over with a chain and pulled my van out.  Between the two of them I got to leave.  Poor Jaemin was totally freaked out by having a stranger in the driver seat of his van, but I didn't want to get him out because it was so bitterly cold.  The guy in the driver seat had a good sense of humor about it.

Thank you to two kind strangers today.

Camo Cookies

Here's our package for a military unit in Afghanistan.  I hope they enjoy the home made sugar cookies, packets of hot chocolate and marshmallows for their drinks.  Stay safe boys.

Thankfulness Post #14

I'm SO thankful Brian cleaned the house last night while Chelsi and Kaelin and I had girls night.  I would have been even more exhausted tonight if he hadn't!  Now I just have to finish the cookies, make bulgogi and finish laundry tomorrow.