My pretty project....so happy.

Saw this on some blogs and Pinterest and HAD to do it.  We had some scrap lumber that was already stained this, non-matching, color.  I got a paint pen and ruler and went to town following the instructions online. Then, we made it fit for our house.  I got out the old baby books for all of the kids and wrote down all of their past measurements.  I will surely take more care to measure them all on their birthdays now that I have somewhere to put them.  It was sort of fun seeing such close or far away measurements on some of the kids.  And it's never put away.  It's always out for all to see as a household decoration....even better!  What did it cost me?  Well, a bottle of black paint around the edges (I had it, but maybe $2) and a paint pen that cost $2.  Woohoo!  I love it!  Something similarish at Pottery Barn for $59. 

Can working moms be good moms?

Yes.  We are not worse moms than a stay at home mom.  I know they are working moms too, but we get the responsibility, and no it's not always by choice, to work on someone else's clock all day long and come home to work some more.  And I'm not even talking about anything related to taking care of the kids.  But, being a working mom, outside of the home, doesn't mean someone else is raising your kids.  It doesn't mean you have no time for your kids.  It doesn't mean your a disconnected mom.  In fact, for a lot of us, I think we just find other ways of accomplishing it all and finding our own niche for our family.

For our family, it's having a good husband and dad and raising our kids to be independent kids that don't expect to have the best of everything and can wait for what they need even.  We get each other.  We work it out so that all the chores get done without making someone feel overwhelmed; no house cleaners or cooks afforded here.  While working part time I found out I didn't have any more time then I did when I was working full time, but stressed much more about paying our bills.  Forget luxury, we were living off our savings for that year.  So, when I went back to work it was with a new outlook.  I was not going to stress about the small stuff.  Just get done what had to and make sure I spent what time I could with the kids and didn't dwell on it and punish myself and let myself feel bad when I knew I had done everything I possibly could to the absolute best of my ability.  When I'm at work I give them my all.  When I'm at home I leave work and give my family my all.

That doesn't mean that family doesn't encroach on work.  I mean come on...I'm a mom.  If Cole calls and says 'mom, coach says I need to go to the doctor or I can't wrestle', I get off the phone, get him in somewhere and one of us gets him in right away.  And yes, this happened....twice.  I spend many hours in the car with the kids which is a great time to talk to them.  They can't get away from you.  I love doctors appointments, orthodontics, etc.  It's one-on-one time with them.  I spend at least 1/2 hour driving them to or from the location with their undivided attention.

I made a vow when I came back full time that I would still watch my leave time, but not be such a miser with it.  I've worked there for 15 years always saving it for an emergency.  And while that served me well so I could take maternity leave 5 times, take off with Cole for his heart and appendectomy and Brian for some of his hospital stay, it's time.  I promised myself that if the kids had school stuff and wanted me there I would be there.  That's how I got to go to Chelsi's awards, Jaemin's Christmas party and hopefully Cole's 1st round of district wrestling.  I'm trying to enjoy every bit of my life to the fullest while remaining responsible to my family.  I take my time to cuddle the kids at night, sit on the floor of the kitchen to have little talks with Kaelin about growing up and just let down my guard and have fun with all of them.

Doesn't mean mom's a pushover though.  I will still give reminders about gradually dropping grades, being mean to each other and disrespectful or forgetting your chores or obligations.  I'm still their mom, not their friend.   But, I have to say the last few months, even with icky stuff that goes on at work I've been happier.  It's an outlook to some extent.  It's thinking and believing that this year is a new start and a great year.  Mom's can do it all, depending on how they view things and allocate their time.  Even some stay-at-home moms don't allocate their time to their children.  No group is perfect.  It's still a personal decision and choice on the detail of what you do with every second.  Make every second count and enjoy them and yourself on the ride.

Thank God we have almost 14 months!

To find Cole a car.  I'd love to have his actual car for when he gets his permit in 2 months, but at the rate of my pickiness and budget constraints we may never find something.  I'd really like something safe...with airbags.  At least his birth year would be great.  And, oh yeah, around $2,000?

I'm sure there are folks that read this thinking yeah, your kid doesn't need their own car.  But, you have to understand there is NO transit here, so if he ever gets a job he will need it.  Then, if he doesn't wreck it like most kids do their first one, it will become Chase's.  I have a feeling we're going to possibly have to spend a little more for something we trust (who cares what it really looks like, for the most part).  Yikes that's going to hurt and seriously encroach on going to Korea.  But, what choice do you have....go to Korea......or have a safe car for my new driver?  No brainer!  Wish me luck in my year long endeavor.

Kid with Character

I know that quite a few kids get these awards, but nonetheless, I'm still proud of Chelsi for getting a character award in Hardwork/Motivation at school.

Here's what the teacher had to say about her:
"Chelsi is always eager to learn and ready for any activity I introduce in
class.  Chelsi not only completes her assignments but will help her
friends who are struggling.  Chelsi has a very positive attitude and needs
no encouragement to work.  She is highly motivated!"

She was having a sub that day, so I took a quick pic, but since one of her friends snuck in I won't post it here.

Closeness

They crack me up sometimes.  Kaelin and Chase are pretty close.  Definitely the closest of the siblings.  When we went to one of Cole's tournaments we had an extra seat in the van since Cole went on the bus.  I would have thought Chase would want the empty seat in the middle, all to himself.  No.  He chose to sit in between the girls so they could play and watch a movie the whole time.  1 1/2 hour drive like this and they were all perfectly content.

I think I passed it on?

I was up bright and early at 5 am. I couldn't breath through my nose and my throat was on fire. After Brian and Cole came back from deer hunting I made a quick run to urgent care so I could do someone some good. Not so sure it actually did any good though. The doctor said they're not sure if it's viral or bacterial going around and said I have 7 more days of it, more than likely. I'm hoping all the Vitamin C I've been taking will help cut it shorter. I think, I might feel slightly better than yesterday, but not sure yet. All I know is I'm happy I can at least breath through my mouth, no asthma. YAY!

I will get through.  I'll be fine, but I'm sad thinking I may have given it to Jaemin.  My poor baby has been kind of stuffed up for a couple of weeks off and on, but now he sounds like he's pinching his nose closed.  The same way I've been sounding.  The thought of his nose, ears and throat hurting as much as mine have been is killing me.  I don't want my baby to hurt.  He can barely talk enough to tell us and I do not want him to just have pain.  I sucked his nose after I sprayed some saline to help unstuff him a bit, but all I ended up doing was busting a blood vessel and he had a little bloody nose.  He's been sort of out of sorts all day.  Flapping more than usual, etc.  Of course, since I've been sick, he hasn't exactly been brushed until tonight.  You have to stick with it to help.  Gave my poor guy some decongestant, cough suppressant and tylenol before bed.  Hopefully, he'll sleep comfortably tonight.  He slept with me all night last night and slept pretty sound.  I think it's good for him to have one night of uninterrupted sleep even if it means him in my bed.  A rested Jaemin is definitely a happy Jaemin.

Words can never explain how I feel about Jaemin and his arrival to our family.  He is the cork in my heart that sealed it shut after he filled it up.  He is the little boy that melts my heart everyday just looking him and looking at the way I know he adores me.  Jaemin is a bundle of energy that never relents.  But, his innocence and how he never wants to hurt anyone, only looks for love and fun, makes me love him more everyday.  He's what every child should be like.  Full of love, hope and belief in all good things.  I love Jaemin so much and we have a connection that's so strong.  He's definitely his mommy's sweet, baby boy.

Cold, flu or allergies?

I'd normally not really care, but since I'm really trying to track my reactions and figure out if my honey, cinnamon and vitamin C are working it sure would be nice to know.  Last year I would have just tracked my butt into the doctor to have him run a strep and flu test, but my deductible this year is double last year's and I'm trying to budget out my office visits.  So much is going around at work, so I'm going to assume it's a virus of some sort.  Which I actually hope because it's so depressing to think for a second my natural cures aren't working for my allergy problems and I'm not even in the throws of the seasons yet.  I go to an integrative doctor next week to see if he has other suggestions for natural remedies to take care of my allergies and I'm hoping he has great suggestions....other than accupuncture because insurance does NOT cover that at all. 

While I toughed it out at work, I've been kind of a baby tonight.  I got to work, felt like death and was going to go home after getting a few more things done and low and behold I looked at my calendar.  Dang if I didn't have a meeting that it took 2 weeks to schedule with someone and it was at 2pm.  Pointless to go home at 3, so I just stuck it out all day.  Brian made me chicken noodle soup for supper, the home made kind.  I got myself a HUGE glass of orange juice, took my vitamin's C and D and rented a free pay-per-view we had.  Then, I decided I didn't want to forget my honey, so I made my honey water.  By the way, I tried honey comb and not near the same effect.  Maybe it was my cold or whatever coming on, but my nose was more stuffed than usual. 

I sit here, typing because I'm tired, yet awake.  Maybe from the sugars of honey?  I don't know.  Hoping I'm better enough by Monday to not need to go to the doctor and be on my way, again, testing my honey allergy theories.  I SO need this to work for my body and my small pocket book and dwindling insurance benefits.

o