How do I know when my family is complete? Now, if you do not belong to online forums then you probably don't know what I'm talking about. But, on adoption forums, particularly, this is a topic that comes up quite often. I use to wonder it myself and would read all of the responses waiting for that magic answer to tell me when that wanting feeling, that anxious gnawing, in my heart, would go away.
I don't remember anyone explaining it in any other way other than saying they 'just knew'. I can definitely say I know or at least am 99% sure. I like to leave the other 1% for God intervention on expanding a family. The best way I, however, can explain it is to say it's the moment when you look at your kids and your heart feels completely full. It's the moment when, adoptive parents, don't peruse waiting children sites anymore with thoughts other than "gosh I hope they find a family that can love them and take care of them". It's the moment when you look at the profile of a waiting child you realize that even minor issues can become more involved and you have enough on your plate. It was the moment when I realized that Jaemin's needs for me to be with him and involved with him outrank any other child (other than my other 4) on the face of this Earth right now. It was the moment I realized that I don't want to divide my time any further because I need to be with him as much.
Okay, so maybe that doesn't help a non-adoptive parent. But, I guess you can insert your newborn baby for waiting child profile except it's the idea of it rather than the baby existing yet? Don't know if that makes sense anymore. I guess my point is I knew it when it happened. It wasn't instant. It was definitely something that took time. Maybe it's my age or that's part of it, not that I'm old by any stretch. And I definitely think this is why agencies (good ones) want you to take time with your new child so you can figure out what their needs are and yours. You can figure out if maybe they need you and there's not a good time to add to. 6 months or even a year, honestly, is not enough time for this.
This is what works for our family. I'm done having my own. I'm happy right where we are and it really is a great feeling. So much better this feeling is than the one when someone was missing just 3 1/2 years ago. Each child of mine filled a little hole in my heart like a puzzle. Jaemin was that last piece that you celebrate over because the hard work of putting it together is over and it's time to just adore your masterpiece. The easy times and hard times of life all led us down this road and we landed right where we were supposed to. Getting 5 hugs every night from 5 great kids that I love.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Saturday, February 4, 2012
I have a driveway!
So excited that my driveway is finally done! We can drive on it on Monday. And it poured this weekend and no traveling gravel for once. It will be so much easier to keep up with. He gave us the bill this morning and it's exactly what the bid said, so we're perfectly happy with his work and cost.
Us staying on target for the things our home loan will pay for (the updates and fixes to the house) are so important for us to hopefully go to Korea. Watching the budget, I'm still pretty nervous about the thought of being able to go in 2013. I get so nervous, but feel pretty strong about the need for us to go before something keeps us from going as a complete family. Yet, I've had this sort of weird calmness about me since the first of 2012 that everything will be just fine and we'll get our dream trip to Seoul. I'm going to keep on praying, keep on saving and keep on hoping we'll get there and by the end of this year hopefully we'll have some plans started. Gulp!
Us staying on target for the things our home loan will pay for (the updates and fixes to the house) are so important for us to hopefully go to Korea. Watching the budget, I'm still pretty nervous about the thought of being able to go in 2013. I get so nervous, but feel pretty strong about the need for us to go before something keeps us from going as a complete family. Yet, I've had this sort of weird calmness about me since the first of 2012 that everything will be just fine and we'll get our dream trip to Seoul. I'm going to keep on praying, keep on saving and keep on hoping we'll get there and by the end of this year hopefully we'll have some plans started. Gulp!
Kids are naturals with technology
You have to show and adult how to work a computer and mouse. Kids, on the other hand, are naturals and very easily just pick it up and figure it out.
Jaemin is no exception. He has his little preschool games and we got a wireless mouse so he wouldn't have to use the mousepad on the laptop. He zips around his game like he's been playing it all along. He really does love playing and begs to get it all out.
Jaemin is no exception. He has his little preschool games and we got a wireless mouse so he wouldn't have to use the mousepad on the laptop. He zips around his game like he's been playing it all along. He really does love playing and begs to get it all out.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
I dare (gross factor alert)
sleep in the same room as a sick little boy. Jaemin rarely throws up from being sick with a stomach bug...maybe one other time in 3 years. But, he definitely has a stomach bug. Poor guy was fine as can be and all of a sudden started crying real hard and slobbering. And then he promptly puked on Brian. We chloroxed all the door knobs and switches and I cleaned up the chair and floor (thank goodness for hardwood floors) while Brian gave Jaemin a bath to clean him up and make him feel better. It was so much. Poor belly must be empty now. He played and splashed in the tub and was happy as can be, so I'm hoping he'll get over it quickly. We'll see if he makes it through the night. He's got a nice little pallet of blankets on the floor in my room. Unfortunately he has to sleep in shorts tonight because he wet his pants 2 or 3 times tonight and went through all of his pajama bottoms. I'm guessing that maybe him being sick had something to do with it.
Poor baby Jaemin, I love you and hope you feel much better soon.
Poor baby Jaemin, I love you and hope you feel much better soon.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Making lemonade
I'm spoiled sometimes and well aware of it. However, since we have a house, I get a garage. I'm totally spoiled by this. We've been saving and we finally have the money and found someone to do the job for the money; we are pouring concrete in the rest of our driveway. It's awesome and I can't wait! No more trying to shovel snow and pulling up the rocks in the driveway along with the snow and dumping them in the yard. No more gravel running down our steep driveway onto the concrete portion at the bottom; both creating a risk to anyone even slowly walking on it or forcing the boys to constantly have gravel that has to be swept. Better yet no more gravel to roll to the bottom drive causing Chase and his amazing ripstik riding to trip and fall on the rocks as soon as the wheels lock on them.
They started some of it on Friday last week. We moved the cars out of the upper garage and down to the lower driveway. No big deal. But then they decided to pour the whole driveway at once. This means no driveway at all. This means parking on the street, which has very little shoulder and trying to balance my car to keep some wheels on the shoulder for traction while moving it as far into the yard as I can so no one takes out my mirrors in a hurry. Then we get to walk through the yard (and it's not a tiny city yard) to get to the house. No problem. In the mornings I drag all 5 kids to the car and keep Jaemin from getting on the street and getting him into the van. But, tonight....of course, I needed to run to get Brian's neuropathy meds and I had some coupons I wanted to check out the prices of things to use before they expired. And of course, the store had an awesome sale and on a lot of the things I also had coupons for. Even the milk was cheaper and we've been going through milk like water. So I bought 4 gallons of milk and $45 more in groceries. My cart was heaping, but because of the sale and coupons I only spent $60 total. I digress and got off subject. Not thinking I could no longer just walk from my garage stall to the pantry door I bought 6 of those reusable Walmart bags full of groceries. I was smart though. I called Brian and said "I'm on my way. Meet me at in front of the house with the kids' wagon." Worked like a charm. We put all of the bags with the heavy items in the wagon, carried the rest and were in the house in one trip and three people (me, Chase and Brian).
Wasn't near as traumatic as I thought it was going to be. You see, I was already kinda in a mood because Brian said the concrete guys didn't come out today, but we still can't use our driveway becaue they 'started' the rod, haven't finished the rod or concrete and didn't do anything today either....dragging it out one more day. I'm really hoping for some concrete tomorrow. Remember you can't drive on it for a week after it's poured in colder temps. Soon, it will look so nice! And no more weeds to kill in my drive! I'm spoiled, I whine sometimes and I don't care.
They started some of it on Friday last week. We moved the cars out of the upper garage and down to the lower driveway. No big deal. But then they decided to pour the whole driveway at once. This means no driveway at all. This means parking on the street, which has very little shoulder and trying to balance my car to keep some wheels on the shoulder for traction while moving it as far into the yard as I can so no one takes out my mirrors in a hurry. Then we get to walk through the yard (and it's not a tiny city yard) to get to the house. No problem. In the mornings I drag all 5 kids to the car and keep Jaemin from getting on the street and getting him into the van. But, tonight....of course, I needed to run to get Brian's neuropathy meds and I had some coupons I wanted to check out the prices of things to use before they expired. And of course, the store had an awesome sale and on a lot of the things I also had coupons for. Even the milk was cheaper and we've been going through milk like water. So I bought 4 gallons of milk and $45 more in groceries. My cart was heaping, but because of the sale and coupons I only spent $60 total. I digress and got off subject. Not thinking I could no longer just walk from my garage stall to the pantry door I bought 6 of those reusable Walmart bags full of groceries. I was smart though. I called Brian and said "I'm on my way. Meet me at in front of the house with the kids' wagon." Worked like a charm. We put all of the bags with the heavy items in the wagon, carried the rest and were in the house in one trip and three people (me, Chase and Brian).
Wasn't near as traumatic as I thought it was going to be. You see, I was already kinda in a mood because Brian said the concrete guys didn't come out today, but we still can't use our driveway becaue they 'started' the rod, haven't finished the rod or concrete and didn't do anything today either....dragging it out one more day. I'm really hoping for some concrete tomorrow. Remember you can't drive on it for a week after it's poured in colder temps. Soon, it will look so nice! And no more weeds to kill in my drive! I'm spoiled, I whine sometimes and I don't care.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Just because.....
I haven't taken any pictures of Jaemin in awhile and he changes so much at this age, so, just because, here are some pictures that are definitely his sunny personality.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Well...
Speech therapy is a go and they recommend 30 minutes a week. So while it's more than a mild speech problem it's not terrible either. They said most kids wouldn't quite qualify under state standards, but because Jaemin had SO many sound issues he did qualify.
He didn't qualify for occupational therapy. The results came back that he has more than sensory processing disorder tendencies and some fine motor area problems, because he doesn't also have gross motor problems or some other major area, he doesn't qualify for therapy by state standards. But, if he doesn't progress in these areas they will reevaluate down the road. Until then the OT can give us some pointers on things we can try at home and we're hoping the speech therapy may help his sensory if he is able to communicate with us better. They figured his audible speech at about 50%. I'm pretty happy with it all at this point. He has an IEP for one year, but he never has to requalify. At the end of 2012 they will just decide if he has progressed enough to go out or continue. He may even have to go to speech during the summer, but they will decide that in May depending on how he retains what he learns these next few months. He should start next week. I'm not happy my child has a delay, but so happy that after 1 1/2 years of pursuing an answer we have a possibility and people who see the same things we do.
On a side note, looks like our family gets to go to a Cardinal game! The kids are super excited. I had written the Cardinals to let them know how rude their employees were after we waited in line for almost 2 hours in 25 degree temps and they apologized and are sending all 7 of us to a game in June. It's probably going to be bleacher or nose bleed seats, but that's all we can ever afford anyways, so we're good with it! Woohoo!
He didn't qualify for occupational therapy. The results came back that he has more than sensory processing disorder tendencies and some fine motor area problems, because he doesn't also have gross motor problems or some other major area, he doesn't qualify for therapy by state standards. But, if he doesn't progress in these areas they will reevaluate down the road. Until then the OT can give us some pointers on things we can try at home and we're hoping the speech therapy may help his sensory if he is able to communicate with us better. They figured his audible speech at about 50%. I'm pretty happy with it all at this point. He has an IEP for one year, but he never has to requalify. At the end of 2012 they will just decide if he has progressed enough to go out or continue. He may even have to go to speech during the summer, but they will decide that in May depending on how he retains what he learns these next few months. He should start next week. I'm not happy my child has a delay, but so happy that after 1 1/2 years of pursuing an answer we have a possibility and people who see the same things we do.
On a side note, looks like our family gets to go to a Cardinal game! The kids are super excited. I had written the Cardinals to let them know how rude their employees were after we waited in line for almost 2 hours in 25 degree temps and they apologized and are sending all 7 of us to a game in June. It's probably going to be bleacher or nose bleed seats, but that's all we can ever afford anyways, so we're good with it! Woohoo!
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