The Help

Okay, those that 'really' know me, know I have problems reading and therefore hate it with a passion.  I can't even read a short article without losing interest.....on any topic!  It kinda stinks.  I just have so much trouble with comprehension and always have that it's like someone's torturing me with some horrible device if I even think I have to read something. 

So, Lois brings in "The Help" for another girl to read, but she's already reading something else.  Since I haven't seen the movie yet and really want to, but by the time it comes out on cable it will be a few more years, I say that I'll try it.  I mean, I can always try and since I really want to know exactly what the story is about it's worth the try. 

Who would have thought that me....who has only finished about 4 books in my ENTIRE life, and I use finished loosely, finished a 500 page book in 4 1/2 days.  I stayed up late reading.  I couldn't sleep.  When I did sleep I dreamt about the dang book.  I'd be trying to figure out what's going to happen next in my dreams.  Then, I'd wake up all made at myself because A. I wasn't sleeping well dreaming so much and B. I was getting things mixed up in my head creating the book ending in my dreams.

I finished it tonight.  I read the last 70 pages and didn't want to go another night like the last few.  I totally ignored the kids, bad mom, but I just had to finish it for my own sanity.  I had to know exactly how it turned out.  Now I really can't wait to see the movie because it's the first time "I" get to be the one who can compare the book to the movie.  Hopefully, I can remember until it comes out on cable.  Really wish we had a video store around here.

Lois, by the way, if you're reading this I totally blame you for my lack of sleep.  ;)  Enjoy Florida!

You sleep in you bed

That's what I got told last night.  Hard to believe that less than a month ago I was struggling to get some sleep because Jaemin was waking up every night and sleeping in my room and has been for 1 1/2 years.  Hard to believe all it took was reasoning with him to get him to stay in his own bed.  Reasoning with a 3 1/2 year old?  Can you really do that?  Apparently sometimes, at least.

Jaemin doesn't even try to come in my room.  Occasionally, he has a bad dream and cries at night, but that's it.  We just have to go in there for a second and it's not every night.  Last night Brian put him to bed and I came in there to tell him good night and I laid in his bed for a minute and he tells me "you go sleep in you bed, I sleep in my bed".  It makes him sound so big.  And remember when I told him to stay in bed 'til the sun comes up and that's when he can get in my bed.  Well, that works well on the weekends and he gets up as early as the sun and tootles around the house until someone gets up to keep him company.  But, weekdays are another topic.  He fights us tooth and nail to stay in bed.  He suddenly absolutely adores his bed and his sleeping time.  If you turn on his light he jumps out of bed, turns it off and covers his head back up. 

Once he gets going he's ready to go and good mood as ever.  It's time to watch the Lion King and he goes around the house singing "eeeiiihhhhaaaa peanut!".  This is what he thinks they're saying on the beginning song to Lion King.  You know the one where we all think they're saying "pink pajamas penguins on the bottom".  I think it's really called "The Circle of Life".  It took us two weeks to figure out he really was saying peanut and that he meant he wanted to watch Lion King and not Jeff Dunham.  :)

Happy, happy birthday baby

To my oldest baby who turned 15 today.  You are the happiness I discovered in the darkness.  When we lost our first baby and found out we were having you shortly after, the world was so much better.  And it got even better the day you were born.  I never thought I'd be happy or life would be so great and you proved me wrong.  I know you have so much potential and if you have confidence in you natural abilities and personality you'll be fine and do great in life.

Love you very much.

Mom

One Broke Family

Of course, I jest when I say broke because there is a savings still and we are still very much trying hard to get to Korea.  But sometimes when I see my excel spreadsheet budget dwindling down, in my head, as unexpected expenses come upon us I think of the show "Two Broke Girls".  If you've never seen it, it's about 2 girls trying to save up money so they can open a cupcake business.  At the end of each show it pops up their savings amount from the last show and either goes up or down, depending if they lost money or earned money that episode.  And, of course, as it goes up or down it sounds like the old cash register that used to be at our tiny town's local grocery store when they had dime candy and an antique register. 

Brian called me today because we've had insurance adjusters coming out.  Last week was a hail storm and the truck's paint was chipped so the guy came out Saturday and said, yes it's hail.  We also asked them to send out someone to check our roof to make sure we didn't have any damage there.  I didn't think we did, but wanted to be sure it was reported if we did.  Brian happened to drop by the house today as she was leaving and she broke the news.  We do have roof damage and we have 2 years to have it replaced.  Here's the kicker.  Our company only offers homeowner's insurance with a $1,000 deductible.  So, in my head, there I was at work, seeing my excel spreadsheet and our Korea savings going down by $1,000.  And if you knew how many years it takes us to save $1,000 you'd take a gulp too!

Such is life!

my big boy....

My first born will be 15 on Thursday.  Where did the time go?  Tonight he got his Varsity letter in wrestling.  It was kinda nice because they did freshmen and sophomores first and just had them all come up.  There wasn't supposed to be any clapping until they were all up there and coach went through his little spiel for each kid (he wrote something specific to each kid and what he though of their past and future).  When Cole was called the other boys clapped for him.  I thought maybe it was just because he was the last freshman to get called, but when they did the other grades they didn't clap like that.  They all know of his heart condition...kinda hard not to since you have to strip for weighins and they asked when they got curious about his chest scar.

I think Cole felt a little freeing when he finally told his teammates at some of those first practices.  He's never talked about it with any of his classmates and hadn't even told his best friend until about sometime last year.  He just is sort of quiet with personal things like that.  I think it surprised him with how supportive they all were and in return I think they were surprised with how tough he was.  He never gives in regardless...never weakens....always tries his best.

And tomorrow night, Cole gets his car.  We committed to buy a 1998 Blazer last night from someone that lives nearby.  And while it has a couple hundred thousand miles (close to anyways) it's in pretty nice shape and seems to run nice.  Though I had to figure out the ticking it was making and it seems like we will need to change the multi-function switch.  It's okay...the part is about $85 and I think we have some help for putting it in.  Otherwise the internet says it could cost $300 to replace.  We'll get it in.  He's SUPER excited.  It's really want he wanted and we got to stay within our budget, including taxes, so we're pretty happy too.  Now, we just have to hope that he gets some good mileage out of it before the motor goes.  We know it will eventually happen, but hopefully we get a monetary breather first.  It does look pretty nice for a 14 year old vehicle.

It was desserts only tonight and Jaemin LOVED the selection.  He really loved the green icing cupcake!

find your happy

I don't have every 'thing' I want, but I have everything I need. I don't have the very smartest kid...I'm not the very smartest person out there. I don't have a big house and the best cars. I don't have the coolest job...by a long shot. But, I have 1 husband and 5 kids. We have survived so much together and keep on going.  Maybe it's just age?  I don't know.

I just know that more and more I realize that, though I still dream everyone does, we make enough to pay our bills.  There may not be anything left at the end of the month, but if you're paying your bills it's all good.

We have survived losing a baby.  We have survived a major heart condition in a child and by God's grace he has done well longer than most.  We have survived a major accident...everyone knows how bad that could have been and was.  We will survive the next open-heart surgery too.

We have had the privilege to experience birth twice!  We have had the privilege of experiencing adoption three times!  And while all 5 were fairly stressful due to adoptions just having a habit of being somewhat stressful and all the tests during pregnancy, I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.  Without each stressful and wonderful experience things wouldn't be exactly like they are today because we wouldn't have made the same decisions.

God really has taken care of us.  He made His plans well known to us; even if sometimes we were afraid to follow and did with a little fear.  Everything we needed whether it be money, a person crossing our life paths, etc., was always there right when we needed it.  I don't mean needed it for that new car, tv or whatever material things exist out there, I mean right when we needed to cover our adoptions and medical bills.

We don't have a perfect family.  Maybe when you see us on the outside we look like a perfect, loving family.  We, undoubtedly, do love each other...even if certain children won't admit it.  We are, however, NOT perfect.  We all yell and argue sometimes.  I put myself in time out from time to time...haven't had to do that in awhile though.  The kids fight amongst themselves and don't pick up after themselves and sometimes....sometimes they raise their voice to us.  GULP!  But, like I said we are family and we DO love each other.  We do a lot together.  We eat supper every night together and most weekend we eat one big breakfast together.  I don't mean in front of a television.  I mean a home cooked meal at the table together.  And we clean up together!  We're kinda dorky that way.

Our kids 'try' to get out of weekend chores and after a little yelling (sometimes) they do them.  Cole vacuums the basement rec room and their bedroom.  Kaelin picks up the rec room.  Chelsi vacuums the basement stairs and Chase cleans the basement bathroom.  Brian and I do the main floor and everything that needs cleaned otherwise.  They don't have it too bad in the chore area really.  They only have to keep their rooms picked up, which doesn't always happen, and help with the kitchen after supper.  But, once every 3 weeks one of the 3 oldest is 'off duty'.  I'm the dishwasher EVERY night.

We're a team.  And when someone forgets that, there's a family meeting to remind them that this boat don't float unless the team members do their individual parts.

I still stress like any other parent and wife.....a lot really.  But, I'm working hard on myself to make myself better to make my life better.  I know that when I feel unhappy in my life from time-to-time it's something for ME to work on and maybe something I just need to get past or let go.  I don't have control over the grades my kids get.  I don't have control over the drama at work (other than to stay out of it as much as humanly possible).  I don't have control over other people and their actions.  I am learning to let it go and sometimes try to ignore the things that, though they feel like they effect me, don't totally.  And to keep sane we must do that.

So be happy with your life.  Let it all go.  Find the happiness somewhere.  Everyone has something somewhere.  You may have to look really hard in your tough time...I know.  But, you have to look for it so you don't fall apart. 

Stinkin' allergies and sinus...I try to work

I don't know what I do different on the weekends that make my nose swell up the way it does.  Can't breath.  I finally got myself breathing better this morning and then it was just so nice out I had to get some things done.  I get moaning and groaning if I ask the boys to do the leaf blowing, so I just do it.  I fixed all our big rocks in the gravel area between our two driveways...something that had to be done after the driveways were poured.  Then since I needed to blow the leaves out of there anyways it was time to blow off the front of the house too.  There were so many leaves from fall and winter that you could have jumped off the raised porch into the pile.  I didn't want to tempt the kids.  The thought of all that leaf dust just makes me ill.  I blew it to the other side of the house, so hopefully it won't blow back.

They finished our deck this week and while it's much, much smaller than I had planned...not my decision....Brian's quick decision while they were working on it and we won't go there.  It's much sturdier than our old deck and looks nice.  When the weather gets warm in the spring we'll seal it so it doesn't wear as hard as the old deck.  The stairs are so nice....they don't shake the whole thing when you walk down them.  We had so much vinyl rail left from the old deck that we used some of it to make a little handrail for our new concrete steps.  I would so manage to fall if it's not there.  Like Brian said, this is the best the house has ever looked.  He put some siding up where we took the deck down and put mortar in the holes on the brick from the old deck.  You can't even tell it ever existed. 

Now I can enjoy spring when it comes.  But, for tonight, I will be paying for all that leaf blowing.  Kaelin (who's got a little cold) and I are a symphony of snuffs, coughs and heavy breathing.  It's very lovely.