Next on the list or agenda

We're trying to figure out what do do, if anything, next year, so after a friend of ours went to Mexico with another mutual friend we are thinking about that.  Jane raved about it and has been twice now.  The logistics for our family are a little different since there are only 3 of them and we have to talk Cole into the flying part.  But, with the help and a couple of other adoptive family friends, they're walking us through where to stay and what we want.  We're hoping for Akumal or Tulum and thinking since this will most definitely be our last vacation with all 5 kids, since Cole turns  18 next year and graduates, and this year is our 20th wedding anniversary, this will be worth spending extra on.  We can normally vacation, even at the beach , for $2,000 or less including everything.  This will be closer to $6,000 (not quite) by the time we get plane tickets, etc., but we can stay for an entire week and do so much and eat so much cheaper.  The stay isn't quite as expensive as the states.  We didn't go anywhere this year or do anything and may not as easily as Chase gets a little older and more into the football things he needs to.  Next year will probably be it for a couple more years.  I'm still a little unsure, but if we save what I hope to, I think we'll take the plunge.  The kids can swim in a cenote, swim and snorkel with turtles, rays and dolphins, zipline, jump from bluffs and the best part is my friend Lois offered to pay her own way and entrances if she can stay with us in return for watching the kids so we can have some alone time.  See, we haven't been away overnight and alone in almost 13 years.  This will really allow us to combine a vacation into a couple get away and  I've been wanting to do that with Brian for so long, but just haven't been able to get myself to leave the needs the kids have in us; especially Jaemin.  This is  the perfect way to do that in one plane ticket and stay!  I'd love to just do one night on the beach eating dinner alone with Brian.  How awesome would that be!!  Everyone keeps telling us we need to get away.  It's good for us as a couple.  This is my way of being able to do it without having all the anxiety.  Hoping it works out.

Still broken out

This poor girl of mine is still broken out.  It's even in new places.  The backs of her legs looks so bad.  Her face isn't awful, but you would think after 3 full days of steroids it would be better.  I was reading online and I'm kind of wondering if it's not systemic and it's kind of attacking her whole system. It can actually, in worst cases, damage nerves.

She's been doing benedryl and steroids for 3 full days and I slathered her in some cream tonight.  I'm going to see if I can get her in to OUR doctor tomorrow if I don't feel it's any better by morning.

No hands

This is from a couple of weeks ago, but I forgot to get it off my phone.  No hands for a round off single back handspring.  Now he has her adding a tuck to it.

Poor girl!

It used to be Chase who always got poison ivy outside, now it's Kaelin too.  She had it on her legs and a touch on her face.  Gave her benefit last night, but it was a lot worse this morning.  Went to the doctor to get a steroid dose pack today.  Poor girl.

1st day for Jaemin

It's not the first official day of school, but it's his first day of summer school and being with others outside the family.  Our school does it as enrichment and especially for kindergartners to ease them into this new world. 

I walked him to the library and spoke to the teacher for a moment and let him know I had to go.  His sisters are in the school too, but not with him.  He looked at me, a little scared, and went to sit down on the rug with the others as his backpack stayed tight to his back. I teared up, but he didn't see.  I've never walked any of the other four in.  He's my baby boy and growing up.

It's Only Wednesday

and it's been a long and busy week.  Last week was different.  I think that's the best I can say.  A friend lied to me through email and lied to Brian's face, they said to save feelings, but it really made things so much worse. Just not sure if or when I can forgive. It was the least likely person of anyone we really knew and so hard to accept the lie and it wasn't for a good reason at all.  Too much to go into.  Just know that I made some decisions for my life and some people and on the fence about others.

This week has been go, go, go.  Haven't had time to hardly complete anything.  And now all this rain is driving the ants in.  Thank goodness they seem to be the Terro loving kind right now, so we'll see if I need to pay someone or not.  Last night was good though.  I spent the whole evening with a friend who was home from Florida.  It never takes us long to open up and catch up and that's how friends are supposed to feel and be.  Too bad she's so far away otherwise.  I've spent my time working on laptops.  We have 3 broken laptops in the house.  One is 8 years old (plus) and they've been pretty hard on it the last year.  They can keep using it for games as long as they want.  It keeps them tethered to the wall since the battery is dead and I'm not spending the money on a new one for an old piece of junk.  Cole's Make a Wish laptop died in April.  It had had issues the whole time and Toshiba doesn't just lack in customer service they have zero.  I had told them there were incident reports on it and because it was restorable each time they just allowed it to be bandaided together this whole time so that when it was out of warranty by a week it would crash and they would lose responsibility.  When I googled the "no bootable device" it was giving me it seems the C855 models did this a lot.  Really smart.  They just put a crappy hard drive in (no it's not restorable, I tried) that crashes and loses everything then Toshiba can charge you $39.95 for a USB.  Note that the software is free since you purchases on your laptop in the first place, but they the shipping and handling is $39.95.  What a RACKET Toshiba has going by not backing up their product and putting bad devices out there on purpose.

Make a Wish was AWESOME!  I contacted them hoping they had purchased it with a credit card that had warranty extensions.  I don't know if they did or not.  They just asked for the specs Cole wanted on a laptop and ordered a new one.  He's back up and running and it's NOT a Toshiba. I will never get one again.  I hate waste.  Anyone who knows me knows I hate waste.  So, I ordered a new hard drive and the media restore USB for about $80 total.  The kids could always use a decent laptop and a different, better brand hard drive should do the trick.  I'm going to attempt putting it in myself.  I took the back off and found it, so not really too worried.  In two weeks, they should have a good laptop that will only be used for homework.  Then, Brian informed me last night that Chase had dropped my 3 year old laptop and broke the lcd screen.  I mean killed it!  Great!  I had a spill and drop warranty on it that expired last summer.  I googled replacing the lcd and it's $200 at best.  $300 if I pay someone else.  I only paid $400 for my laptop.  Not happening!  I still had my old Dell monitor in the closet for photography.  I ordered a $6 usb keyboard and a $16 cooling stand for the laptop, found out how to set it to close the lid and stay on.  The laptop will now serve as a processor only and be totally usable.  Fixed it for $22!  In the end, I got 2 laptops fixed and working again for $102.

But, now I am exhausted.  All the reading I've done and learning how to do all this stuff, making sure I have all my ducks in a row.  I'm tired and I just wanted to spend some time with Jaemin because tomorrow's his  first day of summer school and I'm nervous.  I told him I'll walk him in and be home when he gets off the bus.  I know he's pretty excited, but I just want my baby to have a great day!  Tomorrow night my friend is stopping back by one last time before she goes home and then I will have breathing time Friday.

Cole's working 40 hours this week in 2 jobs.  They seem to like him in the one he started last week quite a bit.  They've all told us how hard of a worker he is and he'll probably get a raise.  The other job has just been orientation so far, so I don't think he quite knows what to think.  One is just a summer job.  The other could last into the school year, which will be great!

Out for dinner

Grabbed some Little Caesars pizza, a cooler of sodas, life jackets, swimsuits, graham crackers, chocolate chips and marshmallows and headed down to the.river.  About 80 degrees on the river is perfect.  Kids swam, ate pizza and roasted marshmallows for s'mores.

Moms of Special Needs Children

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maria-lin/special-needs-parenting_b_1314348.html

This is such a great article. I realize that a lot of my kids' needs (the ones that have them) are probably not to the degree of this mom, but I have so felt all the things she listed.....almost weekly at least. You do feel alone. You feel like most don't understand or wouldn't. You feel happy and sad all in the same day. You feel overwhelmed and content all at the same time. You can feel truly blessed and jealous within minutes of each other. It's really, really exhausting and really, really difficult.

Ultimately, I know I am so blessed by the things my kids have accomplished and though they're not the top at anything they are the top for themselves. A lot of special needs are invisible to others. You don't know why that kid can't play football because you can't see the scar under their shirt. You don't know why that 5 year old is small and doesn't talk like other 5 year olds.....you just think they're not bright. They are special!

This specifically really resonated with me as a mom to my kids. I love the things Jaemin does that are so typical for a 3 year old and he is almost 6. Because it's progress and it's great! I love watching Cole wrestle because we never thought he could....but he did. He's not the best, but as long as he tries and he's proving that kids with determination can do it.

"Raising a child with any disorder, condition or special need, is both a blessing and a challenge. A challenge for the obvious reasons, and a blessing because you don't know the depths of victory and joy until you see your child overcoming some of those challenges (sometimes while smiling like a goofy bear)."