Just say no

 

You don’t have to buy things.  You can just walk away. Walk away from your online cart or that nonessential item at Walmart or TJ Maxx. Give yourself time to think about. Do you have a real need for it? Do you want it or need it?  Will it wreck your budget?  Is it over the budget you set?  Ask yourself a million questions before spending. Actually, just try to talk yourself out of the purchase.  If you can because it is necessary or just really makes sense AND you have plenty of “extra” money for the purchase then fine. 

I still do this for a thing $10 and over.  Yes just $10. That $10 stacked up on items adds up quickly.  Suddenly you’ve spent $300 in one item, especially if you have a family.  

This process will keep you in check.  And most of all don’t buy things because everyone else is. Buy things because they would make your life better or add worth to yours.  I saw a reel where Rachel Cruze said she has to ask herself “if no one sees what I bought or ever knows I have it would I still buy it”. That is a great question to ask. If you’re not buying it for your own likings then why have it. It will never fulfill you if it’s to impress others. 

And have a place for it. Don’t buy more stuff you have to store away and eventually sell for almost nothing.  Clutter is clutter of the mind and soul and a weight on both.  Depleting clutter frees up everything and gives you space to breath. So don’t buy what you don’t need and you’ll reduce the clutter easy peasy. 

Happy Chuseok 2023

 

Happy Chuseok 2023!  When we decided to adopt from South Korea we knew their heritage would come with them. Or rather it was our job to embrace it as well as them so they could be Korean Americans and be confident in who they are and where they came from. Thankfully we love Korean food, traditions and people.  And yep, we’re blessed to have adopted them and opened doors to the world  and thoughts and understandings we never thought about before.  I have to say I’m a little sad that Korean adoptions are slowly shutting down  not because they kids have homes but because of politics. 

Happy Korean Thanksgiving. For us it was a little untraditional version of bibimbap and tteokbokki!  

Too good not to share

 

This is what going to the doctor with my oldest daughter is like knowing any part of it has to do with a needle.  And then yes, she is that loud screamer you can hear in the other room.  Wow!

How to feed a high school cross country team

 

This feeds about 20 kids. 2 crocks of Alfredo, 1 pan of lasagna and 1 pan of spaghetti along with 3 loaves of Italian bread baked to a light crisp with butter and some dessert.  

Carb load nights the week of a meet are a tradition where they eat and hang out together playing outside games et close and just having fun bonding.  And for us parents we get one on one time as we take our turn hosing them to get to know them. 

As my husband was making the lasagna the night before while I was making that nights dinner he was saying how hectic it was and that’s when it hit me. This is our LAST pasta party night!!!

We are officially done with cross country after this year. The sport we didn’t know we’d have a kid doing until half way through the freshman season as they bullied (lol) her until she tried it. And she liked it. 

Inexpensive room refresh

We went from this light that was too high up to clean when the glass got dusty and too small for the area to 

This. And it literally brightens the room and my face every time I walk through. It’s matte gold and has perfect led lights in it. It’s also a little bigger so it fits the space much better. Installed by us so just the price of a Lowe’s light. 

Sneak peak at Disco Day

 Homecoming week is coming.  My other 3 kiddos were never really into the spirit weeks. Even the cheerleader. The would do some here and there but never all of the days and never planned out. My youngest two. Definitely different.  They’re figuring out what they have and what they can borrow. Neon, disco, characters etc. and the baby girl ended up on court so she had to quickly find someone’s suit to borrow for the newspaper photos. Thankfully she found one that fit well enough and we only had to buy the shoes. So we’re planning on getting the momma a gift card to thank her for letting us borrow and save money.  But Amazon had a great supply of fun disco accessories and on the cheap. Here’s what Jae will have on…with a shirt of course. No violating dress code. Lol

My dearest boys

 

When I get onto you for things like not saying goodnight to me because you’re still a little sour I wouldn’t let you do something you wanted it’s NOT because I am hurt. Don’t get me wrong I love goodnights and hugs but I’ll get over it. I know it’s a passing frustration. But the reason I tell you to do it anyways is so that when you’re in a relationship with your forever love you don’t do that to them.  I want you to get past it and over a small disappointment or disagreement you will have with people you love.  It’s inevitable. Always tell them anyways. Be good men and let the small things go.  Love. Choose love. 

Last birthday of the year for the kids…

 And it’s Chelsi. Happy 18th sweet girl. From premie baby under 4 pounds and considered special needs to a high school senior applying to nursing schools. You all are growing up too fast but I love everyone of you so much. 

Cousins helping her find her money gift. Lol. They had a great time. 

My baby boy

 

He went from this pudgy little baby boy we didn’t even know existed across the world to this amazing, sweet, smart young man we had the pleasure to raise. Happiest 15th birthday to my baby boy.  We love you beyond words and measure. 

Sad brownies

 These are the sad brownies my daughter made me. She made them while I was sitting with Ryder a couple of nights ago. She made them because she sad she felt like I needed some comfort food and sad brownies sounded right for all the crying she saw me doing over the past week. I did need them and I appreciate them. These are sweet gestures in life. I will miss Ryder. 

 

We said goodbye to one of our sweet boys.  He went peacefully and after lots of love and goodbyes from all of us. Our little “crackhead” can walk again where he is and has no more pain. We love you Ryder. No more tears. 

Limited time left with us

 He was supposed to show improvement by today.  

He’s not. 

He has no control of bladder at all. So we have to often wash him down so he doesn’t sit in it for too long.  He’s an outside dog so this is hard on him to just be in a kennel.  He still has no feeling in between his toes or anywhere in his back legs. He won’t smile. Yes, he was one of those dogs that had a creepy smile when he was happy.  He barely looks at us but is starting to a little more. Like he knows we’re doing the best we can to take care of him and keep him comfortable until we make the decision.  We’re tentatively thinking Tuesday. We don’t know if we’re being selfish by keeping him or being hopeful.  Probably a little selfish.  

Today though. We were able to get him outside for fresh air. The air temps are in the upper 70s so we gave him his bath outside and then got him over to the kayaks to lie down. This was always one of his favorite spots. We thought maybe he could just enjoy the last couple days at worst and at best maybe it would make him feel a little better. 

I turned on a Spotify playlist for him for when he is in the garage resting so he’s not in silence.  He seemed to like the music. He gets plenty of rest but I guess it was too late on the meds so he’s not recovering. 

My heart breaks every night when I talk to him before my shower and bed. He’s a very sweet dog that is just sad and miserable now.  He just lies there and tries to sleep. 

Here’s the past couple of days with the baby. 

So this is Ryder on day 1

 Apparently daschunds and beagles are proned to slipped discs. Beagles less so. We have our 12 year old mini beagle and then we have our mixed with beagle that’s only about 5 or 6.  And yep that’s the dog it happens to. He’s always been super hyper. Our second oldest calls him a crackhead because of how crazy he behaves running and jumping everywhere. He CANNOT sit still. 

But now he is. This was him yesterday morning. 

The night before he was walking a little funny so we wondered if somehow he was hit by a car.  We got him into a vet yesterday and she said she the X-ray looks like a mild slipped disc. They kept him overnight because he couldn’t walk by yesterday morning. They were giving him iv steroids and lots of painkillers so he would rest. But this morning he woke up very scared and agitated so they had us actually get him out of the kennel so he would calm down. He thought we’d left him and he calmed when we walked in. 

This was him before we left him yesterday morning. 

He’s not any better today.  Almost worse. He doesn’t or can’t sit up like this any longer.  We got him home about 10 this morning and gave him a bath in his crate after we gave him his meds. He urinates and poops on himself since he can’t move. Today he’s really not eating or drinking much at all. We get his meds down with peanut butter that I put each pill in and stick each glob in his mouth so he can’t spit it out. Tonight she said we could double his pain meds and nerve pain meds so we did that.  I finally got him to rest by putting a balled up sheet under his head and rubbing his chest. I don’t think he can just lay his head all the way to the ground. It must hurt because he had his chest and head pushed up all day. That has to be exhausting. 

If he’s not markedly better in several days we will have to make a choice for him.  Especially if he refuses to eat.  I have cried several times over the past couple of days because we kept thinking this was it.  The thought of how miserable he is makes me so sad.  Time will tell if the steroids and rest work or  not.

Here he is before I left him for the night  finally starting to rest.  

Such a great example of conformity

“ But there can be a downside.

The normal behavior of the tribe often over powers the destred be havior of the individual. For example, one study found that when chimpanzee learns an effective way to crack nuts open as a member one group and then switches to a new group that uses a less effective strategy, it will avoid using the superior nut cracking method just lo blend in with the rest of the chimps.

Humans are similar. There is tremendous internal pressure to comply with the norms of the group.”

This is from Atomic Habits. Wonderful read.  

They’re basically saying we would rather fit in sometimes than do what is right or even more efficient. Do you think that’s true?  I do sometimes. I’ve seen it plenty. I’ve seen someone agree with one person and then turn around and agree to the opposite with another just to fit into both social situations.  I don’t think this is necessarily the majority. Or maybe I just hope not.  

I tell my kids to have a view on something. Know what that is.  It doesn’t mean that someone can’t change your mind but sometimes you just know something is right or works better. It’s okay to be in the minority and stay with what you know as long as you’re open. 

Does your high school kid know their path?

 

Seriously.  Do we or should we really expect a 16, 17 or 18 year old to know what they want to do?  They may have dreams or some very vague ideas but especially those that may require college; that is a 4 year, expensive investment. 

My oldest didn’t really know. He thought law enforcement maybe. So he started at a 2 year college and ended up not enjoying it.  Short of the long is he ended up in heavy equipment so I’m glad there was no money lost on going to school for that one semester. (Thanks A+ program in MO) 

The next kid wasn’t sure at all.  So watch the video to find out how he decided.  Once he made that decision we tried to still talk him into a technical program because he was good at that kind of stuff but by the. He was adamant he wanted to fish for a living. 

Graduate #3 required the same process and she’s still in school pursuing it. #4 has always known what she wanted and is in the beginning stages. #5 just started high school and things have changed a lot since our oldest entered. They have so many electives offered now to expose them to so many areas.  So he’s really focusing on some things that pique his interest that he may be able to do at our 2 year college and have A+ pay for it all. We’ll see. 

I just know that neither of us completed college. We each went one year so all of this is somewhat foreign to me.  However, with google at our fingertips there’s no excuse we can’t help our  kids navigate this part of their journey some. 

A little Prime therapy McDs

 

My baby girl was just having an evening of feeling sad and overwhelmed.  Too much taking and not enough giving (from her surroundings). We had a long talk.  And then she skipped the big Friday night game and we picked up McDonald’s fries and a chocolate shake and finished up “The Summer I Turned Pretty”. We just watched some tv and enjoyed some comfort food where she could let her eyes be puffy from crying without having to talk to anyone about it.

Did this fix her sadness?  No.  But for a little bit she could let go.  

Hopefully, she’ll talk to her friends about it and share. I told her they should be there for her like she always is for them and she has to try to trust them to do so. It’s not about being weak. It’s about sometimes it being your turn to need the shoulder and them stopping everything for her. She needs them. I hope she lets them have the chance and for once puts herself first. 

Remember girls, it’s not selfish if you’re a people pleaser personality that is always trying to do and be there for others when the weight finally gets too heavy.  Reach out to your closest and let them know you’re drowning. Even if you don’t know why. 

Beginning and Ends

 In the 21 years of having kids in school, this is what I’ve learned; the beginning and end is the hardest. 

The beginning is full of getting unlisted school supplies, parent meetings, fundraisers and just getting back into a home and school routine. It doesn’t matter if your child is in kindergarten or a senior in high school. Each year is different and the family readjusts to whatever changes lie ahead for that new school year.  Now that my last two are in high school our adjustments consist of rides and figuring out who’s going where and who can drive whom.  We have no mass transit so our high school driver takes on some of the driving Mr. Freshman duties if she’s going the same direction. We’ve also managed to find another high schooler nearby that we can pay a little cash to pick J up for the early morning football days and sometimes even bring him home. This has saved us a lot of anxiety on getting him to and from. But now that school is in session the schedule changes daily and our ritual at bedtime is to go over who’s going where with whom the next day.  

For the past week the kids have been selling their all school athlete fundraisers too. They’ve both almost met that quota so we’ll be done with that. And J already has had his first game and our senior has had a pre xc meet and next week will be her first full cross country 5k of the season. All the while she’s getting teacher references lined up for scholarships that she has both started and plans to start. 

The end of the school year is full of state exams, year end exams, more sports and just trying to finish up the school year. For us, track goes past our last day so we don’t focus too much on school being out. But it’s still a lot of prep and the end of this year will consist of another graduating kid; which means a crazy May.

If you’re just beginning this journey with young kids know that it goes very fast.  Enjoy the chaos.  I didn’t always do that. And now that I’m on my last two I wish I would have relaxed and enjoyed more on the first three. Just breath and take the busy days one week at a time. That’s what I’ve learned.

Have a great school year. 

New book

 

Just started this book “Atomic Habits”.  Only got 20 pages in and realized that already this book is spot on.  Small, consistent, steps will get you where you want to go. They’ll get you to your full potential over time. But you have to let the system work.  This could work with your job, a project, managing money. 

Boy did the managing money part hit!!  If you’re a spender and never start changing small habits you’ll always be a slender and you’ll never have money. If you’re a saver, these steps just might help you save more!!

It’s another one of those years

We have 3 21 and older now. She joined the club. Fortunately she shares the week with her grandpa so we get to see her soon. But her friends have her for the night. Happiest birthday. 

 

Another year coming down

 

My college junior. I’m looking forward to her graduating and being closer to home again. 

My high school senior. It wasn’t that long ago that she was 5 and starting kindergarten.  She’s ready for senior year. 

And the baby. My last baby. He was off to football at 530 and got through his first day of high school.  Good to have these two in the same school. 

Love all of the kids beyond measure. 

Senior year means college prep

 If your incoming senior is planning a career that requires a degree (our daughter is nursing), then you need to begin the prep NOW!  The one application and automatic scholarships at some universities require applications by December 1st.  Then, your student is in for a wait to see if they were accepted and then a furious attempt to submit the application for scholarships for each school they’re interested in. Have them do themselves a favor. Apply during the summer. They can then slowly begin the process for scholarships after their first semester of senior year without quite as much pressure. Especially if they’re taking dual credit classes and APs.  

Know what is available and what scores are needed. Missouri Department of Higher Education has Bright Flight scholarships. While they’re not as much as they used to be, money for college is so appreciated, especially in a middle class family like ours with 5 kids where only one has chosen a field that doesn’t  require a degree. We don’t have money to help all of them so we really can’t help any. The topic of them paying their way through college will have to be a topic for another post. 

Back to Bright Flight. They do allow superscores for ACT. Here’s the link if you’re interested. https://dhewd.mo.gov/ppc/grants/brightflight.php. Note that the newest high school grads to be have to scroll down to see the higher requirements. It’s a 32 super by the way 😉

Here’s the trick.  If you’re child only has a 31 composite but a 32 super MDHE will not be notified by ACT.  ACT only automatically sends your child’s composite scores.  If your child received a high enough superscore, you are responsible for paying ACT to send the superscore to MDHE.  I spoke to them myself to confirm.   

Take those ACTs kids!

Extra $5 bonus!

 

Extra $5 the first time you use it. Use linked code https://upside.app.link/XTNA6F  to sign up for Upside and get your bonus!  Easiest money you’ll make when filling up your gas tank, grocery shopping or eating at some restaurants. I love this app and we’ve made over $100 that we can trade in for gift cards.  Our driving kids have their own accounts to earn their own money. So easy and love the extra cash. 

Amazing tape!

 

My favorite tape in the world. I’ve never even tried anything else. This 3M double sided sticky tape has been used to hold all of our solar lights around the pool, some of our blink cameras and the pool pole hook. I’m stunned that not even wet or cold weather makes it detach and some items have been up for over 2 years. My favorite thing to try before screws!