What a nice day for mommy and son

Our attorney called me at work and gave us a court date to finalize J.  So, right before Christmas we should have him a legal member of our family.  While, some would argue that he was already a member of our family when we met, it's true.  But, there is an indescribable feeling you get when someone who is appointed to uphold the law prounounces you legally your child's family with all the rights and privileges that come along with it.  Just hearing them say that we must agree " to love him as our own", etc., etc. is a very emotional moment.  I have never gotten teary when my 3 youngest arrived.  But, put me in that court room I get teary eyed every time the judge has set the gavel down with this decision.  I love finalization day and it IS important to me.

Tonight, J wouldn't let me out of his sight for some reason.  Maybe he knew and sensed how happy mommy was feeling because of that call?  I put him on my back, in the Ergo, so I could do dishes and he was as content as can be.  He usually wants Cole to come get him and take him downstairs to play, but this time he was content with mommy.

Later we were sitting around and I asked him if he wanted his socks on and he very clearly said "uh uh" and shook his whole body no.  I asked him another question that I knew he would say yes to and he very purposefully nodded yes.  Every time I asked him if he wanted socks on he would shake his whole body.  So much so, that I had to video it because it was so cute and definitely something I always want to remember.

How could I possibly have been blessed so much to have this child in my life and having the amazing and awesome privilege of being his mother.

Lisa

SAHM vs. Working Mom

Age old discussion, that on some boards become more than a discussion.  I shouldn't really say age old since the dawn of working moms isn't really that old in the scheme of things.  Though I think even back when a working mother was not common it existed out of necessity.  Wars, single parenting etc. made it a must.  Then you had a women's movement when feminists pushed it further to make it more of a right for women to choose to work and not necessarily do it out of necessity for the family.

Granted there are lots of women in the world who choose career and work because they need to and want to.  I don't mean need as in they will be on welfare without, I mean need for their soul and identity.  Yes, I believe this is a feeling women have, but I am not one of those.  I am a work out of necessity mom/woman.  When I am at work, I work hard and put out all effort to earn my pay, but when I'm home, I'm home and work doesn't need to exist.  I don't have the greatest paying job either, but it's enough for the bills and allows me to be with my family when I need to without feeling major guilt, so fairly low stress, when you consider the importance of family.

Would I be SAHM if I could....sure.  I would LOVE to work part-time to have both worlds, but that isn't possible.  We would have to have no house payment or anything in order to afford it and that's just not possible.  Our house payment isn't even $1,000 so we're not one of those maxed out families either...so please don't think we're just living above our means like a lot of America.

We all make these decisions with what we have to work with in life, not necessarily what we want.  However, we go on and make the best of what we have.  The thing that bugs the crap out of me is when you get on any sort of mommy board you will find mostly SAHMs....which is fine in and of itself.  BUT, if I hear (read) one more time about how they chose to stay home no matter the sacrifice because "raising" their own child is best or similar statements I'm going to blow and speak my mind.  I get tired of some thinking that every working mom chooses it and actually has that choice.  When, in reality, I personally know they are the wife of a business owner, doctor, lawyer, etc. and I know they're just fine.

First of all, "I" am raising my children working or not.  We decide what to do with them and how to raise them and no one else does.  Yes they go to daycare, but it's not that long in the day, any longer than a school day, and we make the decisions that impact them.  And when the end of the day arrives WE spend every second with our children.  We don't hire babysitters and go out or ship them off to grandmas (though they'd probably like that if we did).  We want every second with them that we can get since we don't have the option to stay at home.  We make the best of our situation.

So, be thankful if you're able to stay at home.  Because some of us already have as little as you can, we don't have a cleaning lady to cut and a $40 cable bill isn't going to allow me to stay home either.  No loans, other than house, so what's left?  And please quit cutting at working moms!  Please quit making hurtful comments that boost your own ego making you feel like the best mom in the world.  We're all doing the best we can!

If you are a SAHM that doesn't make these comments and does feel thankful, and I know plenty exist, please ignore.  This is aimed at specific comments I've read all too often over the past years on boards I'm a part of.

Lisa

My new ornament

Since the big boys had "my first Christmas" ornaments I decided Jae needed one too.  I loved this one right away.  It looks like my baby boy....don't ya think?

I think I need a New Years resolution for 2010

I'd never stick to it like most New Year's resolutions, but it would be nice.

I want to be able to leave things be.....

I want to be able to not rethink every little thing I do and continue rehashing it in my head whether I can change it or not.  Just accept it and go on.  Every time I buy something, say something or do something I rethink it.  Maybe if I hadn't bought that my budget wouldn't have scared me so much this month.  Did I say that as nice as I could have or did I say something or get as excited about something for someone as I should have?  I would like to be a little easier on myself from time-to-time.  I am definitely my own worst critic.

I would like to be able to let things go with the kids misbehave or get off-track a bit.  Not give them a speech for one low paper and remember Bs are find and it doesn't mean they won't get into college just because they're capable of As, but get Bs.  Let them have a chance to be responsible for their own grades without constantly feeling like I have to remind them of where they are in the quarter.  I am doing a little better on that, but it's difficult.

I would just like it if I were a little more laid back and able to have fun and enjoy life just a little bit more and quit worrying over every little thing and how those small things are going to affect my life down the road.  I'd like to let that stuff go.

I need to let all of this go so I can enjoy the now and not worry about the then so much.  Worrying a little is fine, but I can worry to extreme, though I have been working on this and have gotten a little, itsy bit better.

This is a lot of work for a Type A person, so pray for me PLEASE!  :)

Lisa

Some archived photos from Korea

I've had these photos saved since we left Korea.  I had hoped to find their families and I did find two of them.  So, I thought I'd go ahead and put the pictures of the girls and I visiting the babies at the Holt Reception Center in May.  These babies either didn't have foster families yet or were waiting for their families and living their during their entire wait.  These babies are well loved and there was no doubt how well taken care of they were by the house mothers.



The little guy here has been waiting for quite some time.













The babies below were under 5 months old.  The younger ones are in a whole separate room.





I held this little girl, below, for quite a while.  She REALLY loved being held.

Happy Thanksgiving 2009!

Hope everyone out there is having a great Thanksgiving weekend filled with family and love.

That said, Thanksgiving has taken on different meaning as I've gotten older...not that I'm that old.  I've ALWAYS loved Thanksgiving.  I love the food, for sure, and being with my whole family.  Yes, I'm 35 years old and we still get together with my extended family including aunts, uncles, grandma, cousins and sometimes a great-great aunt.  I love that about my one side of the family.  My other side has always lived further away and were just never that close.  Not to mention having your non-typical family around.  We have friends that are as good as family.  They're a lot like brothers and sisters to us and extended aunts and uncles to our children.  You have to love family like that.

But, as I said it's taken on different meaning.  We still get together with the whole family, eat until we're sick, laugh, play games and catch up on the events over the summer months when everyone's too busy to get together.  Now, I can take this holiday and sit back and really give thanks for my life.  Give thanks for our lives.  Give thanks for some of the bad that's happened that's shaped who I've become, who I will be and my amazing life I've been given.

I'll regress for a bit to say that almost 14 years ago we lost our first daughter.  That hurt so bad and it still pains from time-to-time, but I now know that without her loss my oldest son would not be here.  I was pregnant with him before she was due to be born.   And as scary as it was to have two born with defects and me having a chromosome translocation, which I once thought was the end of my world, I am thankful for these events and the way God made me.  I don't know that I would have been fearless enough to take a leap of faith, with not enough money, to adopt 3 amazing kids.  I use to grieve my translocation and it use to hurt to see other people pregnant when I thought I would never have kids.  I'm so thankful for this and have been for sometime.  Every Thanksgiving as I'm standing in line with my husband and kids filling little plates I'm thankful all those little plates need filled....by us!

So this year is Jaemin's 1st Thanksgiving with us.  I get very emotional on their firsts and you would think after 5 I wouldn't, but I'm just so happy and amazed at the gifts in my life and the second chances we've been given to be together as a family.  It's a joy going to grandma's and watching him explore and be with his cousins and extended family and smiling away.  It's a joy having him with us.  He's a true joy and this year, I thank God for my baby Jae!

Lisa

A little early, but...

the Christmas tree and everything is up!  I usually put it up after Thanksgiving, but it leaves me rushing to get it up and get the kids' photos done for the Christmas cards.  Last year, I thought I was being smart and took a regular picture of the 4 together and ordered cards early.  Then, when we put the tree up after Thanksgiving they found their Christmas hats, that they wear annually and complained that I didn't put that on the card.  So they all put on their hats and we took the photos anyways.  See, we've been taking photos with these hats on since K first came home, so about 5 or 6 years now.









This years preview.



Here's the kids decorating for Christmas.  Even Jaemin started getting into the decorations.