Thursday, March 11, 2010

ONE CRAZY GREAT YEAR!

At the beginning of 2009 we were just happy to have survived 2008, with Brian's accident.  We were recovering from that and feeling much better.  We went to our annual Lunar New Year dinner with our Korean adoption group friends and one family announced that they had received a sibling call.  I had heard of these since we started our first process back in 2002, but knew they were rare.

I remember Brian's face.  He just looked at me and said "you said these things don't happen".  I told him on the way home that night that they don't happen to people like us.  Not really meaning anything 'cause I don't really know what kind of people these things happen to.

That was at the end of January in 2009.  On March 12th I got an email from our social worker telling us to call her right away.  I immediately thought, for a fleeting second, that it could be, but pushed that out of my mind and thought she was going to tell us one of the birth mothers accessed our child's file.  I knew, right away, by her voice when I called her what she was going to say.  I remember shaking so hard.  I almost dropped the phone as I sat in my co-worker's office for privacy.

I called Brian right away and it took a lot of explaining for him to realize it really had happened to us too.  It was barely after lunch by then and we both left work to go home and discuss.  We literally knew nothing other than it was a little brother to our daughter.  We were not going to be told anything more about him unless we were truly interested.  Yadayadayada, after a LOT of crying and talking and walking through a fog for about 4 days we jumped in.

Here we are one year after that fateful call and he has been home for 10 months already.  I cannot believe this child that we never even dreamt of or planned for is here and I can't live without him.  I can't imagine our lives without him.  He is amazing and beautiful and sweet.  He makes me appreciate life in a new way.

Life changed in so many way by adding him.  We have a bigger home loan now, we emptied our savings, we have another child in daycare when we were getting close to getting them all out....BUT.  I wouldn't change it or have the money for anything in this world but him.  He's worth everything we had to go through to bring him home, including the tears and fears.  I should have known to trust God.  But, it's like jumping off into an abyss that you can't see the bottom of and finding the ground is really right there, you just had to trust and have faith.

So my littlest boy is now 18 months old and is walking and talking and doing all of the other things we have seen 4 other times, yet it's so wonderful this time, so new this time.  And, there's this piece of me that is thankful to God, not just for us (Brian and I) to be able to share our lives with him, but that he allowed the two siblings to be together and know each other.  I feel a sense of peace for their birth mother because of this.  Something to give her some happiness in her grief and loss over the years.

We love you Jaemin...to the ends of the Earth and back and would do this all over again for you if ever given the choice.

My angel baby's first pictures we saw....two of my favorites anyways.

He is one year old in the little suit picture and the second picture is more recent, but they both show his, VERY, sweet personality.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

PSA: Please be good to your skin

I've really never been bad to my skin.  I'm not a tanner and I don't even really like the sun....aka I don't like to sweat.  But, I managed to have basal cell skin cancer (carcinoma).  I will now be even more vigilant about protection for both the kids and myself.

I'm fortunate that I knew I had a familial risk so I did go to the dermatologist every couple of years.  Now I will probably go annually for a quicky check.  The thing some people don't realize is that skin cancer isn't just a mole.  It can be any anomaly in your skin.  For my mom and I both it was a skin colored, slightly rough or scaly patch that itched.  Mine didn't itch constantly, but it's been aggravated by this winter's extreme cold.  When I scratched it it was hurting.  I put it off long enough and finally made the appointment.  She couldn't even see it without me pointing it out and then thought it may just be a keratosis, which I would have been thrilled with.  I got my results from the biopsy today and it is basal cell.  Since I go often enough and when you catch it and it's just basil cell it's easy to deal with.  Cut the cancerous cells out.  It's only in the very top layer of skin....unlike melanoma.

My biggest problem with it is that I will have a scar on my back.  It's closer to my shoulder, so it is visible.  I HATE that.  I'm glad it will be nothing once it's removed, but I hate scars and the thought of having more areas chopped out now that I've had one spot.  So, I'm hoping to protect my kids from this.  Sometimes, for some people there is no protection.  It is what it is.  I think that's my problem since it's so prevalent in our family.  Thank goodness 3 of my kids do not have my genetics...that gives me hope, but leaves unknowns of their own.

So please, please, please don't ignore your skin.  Take care of it.  It's not worth it.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Blogworthy Carrier Warning

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100309/ap_on_bi_ge/us_baby_slings_warning

Please read, especially if you are pregnant or may become pregnant.  Not a Yaz commercial, but this is a warning for newborns being carried in slings. Thought it was worth posting since I'm a carrying mom, but not sling wearing.

Lisa

Monday, March 8, 2010

Tiny hands rubbing your arms

This is what I get.

I've had kind of a crappy day today.  Nothing specific just not such a great day at work and rough evening at home.  I was finally sitting down after all the kids went to bed and was just reading when Jaemin woke up.  Just a couple of small whimpers.  I crawled in his toddler bed with him and just laid beside him.  He always strokes my arms when I lay in his bed or he lays in mine.  He rubbed my back this morning.  I love that I can just lay with him and make him feel better.

It was in no way his birth mother's purpose in life or reason for her pain to make me a mother to a 5th child.  It just happened out of free will.  But, of this I am thankful to have him in my life forever.  He is so amazing and I love him more and more each day if that's possible.  I love everything about him and I love just laying there with him breathing on my face. 

He is always going to be my unexpected gift.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Who needs Diego and Sponge Bob when you have CMT?

TEENAGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have one as of tomorrow morning! Oh my he's 13. Though his grades stink from time-to-time without A LOT of encouragement he's still a pretty good kid...uh, I mean guy?

Happy Birthday Cole!!!!!!!! (Coke Coke as J calls him)
 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
 

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Our Story

Until I get the chance to put our story back on this blog, the way it was on our old blog, here's a copy of the first page. I'll eventually move it to it's own page here as an intro. There's more info on us if you search our 'Post Tags' whether it's regarding living with spinal cord injury, Korean adoptions, a surprise adoption, open-heart surgery etc.

Lisa


All 7 of us!

We have 5 kids, 2 came to us biologically and 3 to us via airplanes. We've been married for 15 years and are now parents to a 12, 9, 7, 4 and 1 year old. We've known since we were engaged I carried a translocation of chromosomes 10 and 14. We lost our very first daughter. After the older boys were born we decided adoption may be a better route for us to have one more child. This epiphany came 7 years and 3 kids ago.

Cole had open heart surgery at 8 1/2 months old for tetralogy of fallot. He was also born with situs inverus and dextro cardia. He is fine now, but will have to be seen by a cardiologist for the rest of his life. He is smart, very active and independent. He gives us a run for our money and things are never dull. His favorite thing to do at home is to play with the babies. He loves babies!

Chase was born with an unrelated birth defect and had two minor corrective surgeries. He is smart, funny and sweet. He likes to play sports and is a ham most of the time.

Kaelin is our, always meant to be, August baby. She is sweet and crazy silly. Her great heart has earned her many friends.

Chelsi was born 10 weeks early at 3 1/2 pounds. She may be small, but mighty....including her voice. :) She is vibrant and smart. A girl full of attitude and life.

Jaemin was our surprise "gift" (as big sister K calls him). He was a sibling call from Korea. We were not expecting any more children and we got him within 3 months of finding out about him. Shocking surprise and the fastest roller coaster ride ever. What a joy my boy is. He is VERY active and a beautiful little boy. Smiles that light up the room.

In 2008, Brian fell, playing basketball, in 2008, and became a walking quadraplegic (replaced C5 after completely crushing it and fractured C6; fused from C4 to C6). It was life changing to go through that experience for our entire family.

Through God's grace we went from the two of us, to the 7 of us. We had no plans for more than 2 or 3 children and really had no idea adoption would be part of the plan. But, God led and we followed. We learned with each adoption that God was there and we stepped in faith more and more believing in Him more and more as each year passed and each child came into our lives.

We are thankful everyday for our unexpected blessings.

I know people don't like labels to describe them, but I will say it. The first two were "born" to us. The last 3 were "adopted" and my husband is a "walking quad" from a spinal cord injury. But these aren't labels to me. Labels determine something. These adjectives are just words that describe who we are/were or how we came to be. They affect us, but they don't determine who we are or what we will be.