Thursday, March 11, 2010

ONE CRAZY GREAT YEAR!

At the beginning of 2009 we were just happy to have survived 2008, with Brian's accident.  We were recovering from that and feeling much better.  We went to our annual Lunar New Year dinner with our Korean adoption group friends and one family announced that they had received a sibling call.  I had heard of these since we started our first process back in 2002, but knew they were rare.

I remember Brian's face.  He just looked at me and said "you said these things don't happen".  I told him on the way home that night that they don't happen to people like us.  Not really meaning anything 'cause I don't really know what kind of people these things happen to.

That was at the end of January in 2009.  On March 12th I got an email from our social worker telling us to call her right away.  I immediately thought, for a fleeting second, that it could be, but pushed that out of my mind and thought she was going to tell us one of the birth mothers accessed our child's file.  I knew, right away, by her voice when I called her what she was going to say.  I remember shaking so hard.  I almost dropped the phone as I sat in my co-worker's office for privacy.

I called Brian right away and it took a lot of explaining for him to realize it really had happened to us too.  It was barely after lunch by then and we both left work to go home and discuss.  We literally knew nothing other than it was a little brother to our daughter.  We were not going to be told anything more about him unless we were truly interested.  Yadayadayada, after a LOT of crying and talking and walking through a fog for about 4 days we jumped in.

Here we are one year after that fateful call and he has been home for 10 months already.  I cannot believe this child that we never even dreamt of or planned for is here and I can't live without him.  I can't imagine our lives without him.  He is amazing and beautiful and sweet.  He makes me appreciate life in a new way.

Life changed in so many way by adding him.  We have a bigger home loan now, we emptied our savings, we have another child in daycare when we were getting close to getting them all out....BUT.  I wouldn't change it or have the money for anything in this world but him.  He's worth everything we had to go through to bring him home, including the tears and fears.  I should have known to trust God.  But, it's like jumping off into an abyss that you can't see the bottom of and finding the ground is really right there, you just had to trust and have faith.

So my littlest boy is now 18 months old and is walking and talking and doing all of the other things we have seen 4 other times, yet it's so wonderful this time, so new this time.  And, there's this piece of me that is thankful to God, not just for us (Brian and I) to be able to share our lives with him, but that he allowed the two siblings to be together and know each other.  I feel a sense of peace for their birth mother because of this.  Something to give her some happiness in her grief and loss over the years.

We love you Jaemin...to the ends of the Earth and back and would do this all over again for you if ever given the choice.

My angel baby's first pictures we saw....two of my favorites anyways.

He is one year old in the little suit picture and the second picture is more recent, but they both show his, VERY, sweet personality.

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