Sometimes medical stuff feels like it dominates your day

It doesn't help that I'm in that field, somewhat, but when home life creeps in there it gets harder.

We had our dental visits tonight and thank goodness the dentist took pity on us this year and gave us two kids free.  We're completely private pay without dental insurance, so it can get real expensive with just the basics.  He saves our butts usually.  But, he says Cole has crowded teeth.  Well, we were told Chase would need an expander and braces 3 years ago.  After 2 years of free observations we found out how much it was going to cost and well, over $7,000 is WAY too much.  That's with a 2nd opinion too.  No one is cheaper.  So, do you really think a family with 5 kids can afford $14,000 worth of braces on the first 2 kids?!  Are you crazy!  What if one of the youngers has a real problem that will cause medical damage due to their teeth.  Unfortunately, that's where the money has to be spent.  As much as people want to think you have to do it, you don't and sometimes just can't.  We can't.  And the boys don't want them either.  I know we're bad parents for not doing this, but we barely make $70,000/year/together, do you think we can afford it and eat?!

I also called Cole's pediatric cardiologist's office today since I knew he was retiring this summer and his visit is in 2 weeks.  I wanted to find out who the replacement was.  They gave me a name and I did some research and do not feel comfortable with him, so after 13 years we not only have to find a new pediatric cardiologist we have to find a new hospital and drive further to another city.  Fun!  But, if I don't feel comfortable with someone who holds my son's life in their hands, no way is he going.  He doesn't have chronic heart problems, but teen years is when I was told he may need open heart again.  Now, that he's 13 I take it more seriously and need to feel good with our specialist.  Pray for a good decision by us for the right doctor.  We're making the appointment tomorrow.

Lisa

Little triumphs

Parenting is full of repetition.  We repeat ourselves, what feels like, a hundred million times.  And about 10 of those times we get listened to.   But, sometimes it eventually sinks in.  The big boys have had curfews on coming back from the neighbors or just coming in the past few days and they have done so great at actually doing it instead of getting the usual answer, after coming in late, of "I forgot" or "I didn't know what time it was", etc.  Tonight they even picked up the limbs in the yard before coming in like we asked.  Such minor things, really, but they feel like major accomplishments.

It's times like these that you sit back and think that maybe, just maybe, some of what you are repeating is going somewhere.  And maybe they will hear your voice in the back of their minds as they are faced with choices.  One can hope.

Apparently Grandpas are VERY special!

Jaemin loves his grandpas.  In fact, when we pull onto my mom's road he starts yelling it.  He knows where we're going.  Today, I picked him up after work instead of dad.  They were outside playing and the door to the garage was open, so grandpa was home and working.  Jae made a b-line for the door and I thought he was going to go in and run away from me, but he so sweetly stopped at the door and started waving and saying bye-bye to grandpa.  Then, he turned around and put his arms up for me to pick him up.

And at night, he has decided he likes the book "Goodnight Moon".  So now I lay in his bed with him and he lets me read it to him every night.  Then, he just lies on his side with puppy and moo cow and listens to his music until he goes to sleep.  He is such a sweetheart and absolutely melts this heart!

Lisa

Kate's back

I saw that Kate Plus 8 (without Jon) is back.  WHY?!!  Who seriously watches her anymore?  What's so hard about being a millionaire diva?  I don't care if you have 8 kids or not.  You have someone to cook for you, clean for you and help with the kids, what's so gosh darn hard?  Why put those kids out there year after year?  Are you teaching them something?  No.  So what is the point again?

Geesh!

Rock Star!

You would think my two littlest were rock stars. 

Last night we went to a sushi place that happens to serve some Korean on the side, for Jaemin's 1st Gotcha Day.  I noticed the name tags were in Korean, so I asked if there were in Koreans that worked there.  A few guys walked out and then a couple of ladies.  One of the guys and one of the older ladies (ajumma) knew English the best.  Ajumma has been in the US for 30 years.  They loved Chelsi's face.  She must have a preferable face to Koreans because she often gets her face touched and told how beautiful her face is.  She's always been this way.  Jaemin just flirted with the girls with his great smile.  They loved it every time he turned around in his seat to smile at them all as they spoke in Korean.  He LOVES being around Asians.  He doesn't want to be held, but he loves being surrounded.  We were the only ones there, as it was an early dinner, so we were there for 1 1/2 hours talking.

Then, right before we left they brought out dessert.  One of the younger guys had taken an orange and an apple and made these elaborate creations.  He cored out the orange and slided the core into tiny circles.  Then, they had one big crane or swan out of the apple and tiny ones in front separated by fruit dipping sauce.  Then, on the orange he took the peel that he had cut off, that was circular and scraped it and made the whole orange into a bear.  It was so cool...I wish we could have taken pictures.

I asked if there were very many Koreans in the area that they knew of and Ajumma said about 15 or so.  WOW!  That's not many.  I so wish there were more.  It was fun to talk about Seoul.  The younger lady has not been away from Korea long, so she couldn't understand as much of what I said, but we chatted about Seoul a bit.

Wish we could afford to go out more.

Lisa

crazy, crazy life

My goodness our lives have changed a lot since we married 15 years ago.  Who would have thought all this could happen in such a short amount of time, really?  We've been through 2 births, 3 adoptions, 1 loss of a child, Cole's open-heart surgery, other various surgeries between all of us, Brian's accident and of those 3 adoptions our surprise baby Jaemin.

Just several months ago I was worried about his attachment.  It wasn't what I was wanting to see yet.  I knew that could still change and come with time, but I was worried.  The girls were past that point by then, so that didn't help my worry.  I was in new waters.  He just fought us so much in the beginning and honestly wore me out.  I trudged on through the hitting and scratching and slapping as he tried to push me away.  I think it was Jaemin's reaction to being scared someone he loves might leave again.  I kept this in my mind each time he did it and each time I got down because I worried we may never get there.  Where there is, I didn't know, but I knew it was a better place and would feel right when we arrived.

I can now say I feel we have landed at our destination.  Just like, one year ago today, the four of us (Chelsi, Kaelin, Lois and I) stepped off that airplane with 5 instead of 4.  The night before we left Korea Jaemin was so upset with the new transition that he threw up a couple of times.  He also threw up on the plane.  Now, granted, he has a weak gag reflex and does this easily anyways, that's how upset he was.  I've had so many fears over the last year and I've been SO sleep deprived.  We are just now getting to the point that we get several good nights sleep in a month between all 5.

So, was it worth it.  It's ALWAYS worth it.  Even if you have your doubts from time-to-time in your journey, they're usually in the worst, most vulnerable moments.  It's always worth it.  Everything in my life has been worth all we've gone through above.  Jaemin IS worth everything!  So, one year after stepping off that plane after a 15 hour commute (in the air), my son is here with us and it's like he was never missing.  He's always been a part of our family in my heart and soul.  We love you Jaemin and you are what life is about.  You are our little boy and we love you to no end!

Flashback!!

One year ago today, I met such a handsome little fellow.  I fell in love immediately and I love him even more now.

One year ago in Korea.