Nothing special

Nothing special going on.  Just life.  Just the normal....for us.  I had Jaemin's planning meeting yesterday at school.  He has his full speech evaluation the week before Christmas and we will hopefully hear from the occupational therapist soon, for her evaluation.  She warned me how hard it is to qualify by state standards and even though she agreed with me on his possible sensory issues unless he has other deficits he probably won't qualify. I'm just going to go with the flow and see how it all goes.  If he doesn't qualify now we can have him evaluated again at 4 years old, if we still feel he has things going on.  He has been doing really well lately in all of the other areas, so maybe things are starting to click for him a bit?  Every kid develops differently and at different times.  We just have to keep up.  I wouldn't trade him for the whole world.

Let's see.  We had Chelsi's Christmas program this week.  It was cute...kindergartners always are!  When we left one of the boys in her class yelled I love you from his mom's car.  I would normally have been taken aback, but he is one of the 1/2 Korean twins in her class and because there are rarely Asians in our school the 3 of them latched onto each other.  So, it was pretty cute.  He's pretty fascinated with her since she looks like his mom's family.  And well, Chelsi....she loves everybody and she'll tell you that.  Thank goodness for happy go lucky, sweet kids.

The other 3 are surviving the end of the 1st semester in school.  Cole will hopefully get through Spanish and then he'll move into computer class next semester, which I'm guessing he'll do much better in.  More his forte.  And he really seems to be enjoying wrestling and I'm so happy he is.  I hope he is able to stay in it since it seems to be doing so much for his esteem and happiness.  I want nothing more than his happiness.  Chase says school is getting harder.  They're trying harder to do a better job of preparing the middle schoolers for Freshman year, so I think they sort of switched gears on him.  So while he's not doing as well as he normally does we're trying to give him some room to figure it all out again and adjust.  Chase will do fine.  He always does.  He has a good, logical head.  Kaelin's still doing fine in school.  She gets a little overwhelmed with math sometimes.  It's just not her strong suite, but we're hoping if we keep quizzing her and helping her it will come easier with time.  She's smart, but sometimes she just doesn't have enough confidence in herself.  When she has confidence she can shock you with the things she says. 

I love normal and I'm glad Christmas is almost here.  I love seeing them so excited.  It's not like our kids get things year around, so I wait just for this day to see them get things they've been thinking about all year long.  So, here's to a very normal 2012.

Bundle of Nerves and a Great Day

Cole had his first wrestling tournament and first match and it was varsity.  Scary!  Most of these guys at the tournament had been wrestling well before high school.  I was so sick Friday and felt worse on Saturday.  I don't know if I coincidentally had a virus or if it was my nerves, but I really felt awful.  The little kids were REALLY good.  We had to drive 2 hours and were there from 9 to 4.  That's a lot for them.

So, onto Cole.  He lost his first match with a pin, but not very quickly.  He won his second match with a pin and lost his 3rd due to points.  He did EXCELLENT and I am so proud of him.  But, I have to say it was painful to watch.  Watching him turn red and look like he was in pain, which he reassured me he was not, just was scary for me.  I told him I didn't get a picture taken because I was too busy biting my nails.  He was glowing!  He was part of a team for the first time.  Cole never was supposed to compete in any high school sports.  We got this lifted for wrestling so he could live his life and he did.  I pray he gets to enjoy it for many years to come and his valve will wait for him.  But, if his valve doesn't wait he'll be okay.  We've already been talking about the possibility and to enjoy everything while it's here.

My boys is beyond tough in many ways.

My cup runneth over

I had entered a contest in mid-August.  I wrote a 150 word essay summing the last couple of years for us.  I wrote it and forgot about it and I didn't tell a soul.  Then, one month later, I got notice that my story was very popular and I should try for more votes.  So I did.  I worked hard trying to get more votes.  I entered the My Life Reader's Digest contest and lost.  I saw on their Facebook page the winner of the story and was a bit bummed it was not a profound story or even slightly interesting...at least to me.

But, I put Jaemin to bed tonight and sat on his bedside and just looked at him.  He's so beautiful and he makes me a million times happier than that $25,000 could have even if it did get us to Korea.  Even if we never get to go, I have him...my little piece of Korea.  I could sit and stare into those beautiful, thinking eyes for hours.  I love everything about Jaemin.  He is my miracle in life.  My blessing of a lifetime.  I would never have even thought and dwelled over Korea if it weren't for having 3 of my kids, so I'm thankful to them for another love in life and an interest in a journey and exploration.  I love my children and in the end, that's what I need.

Family Strengthening

We watch movies all the time together.  At least once a month we find something and sit down and eat on the living room floor to watching it together.  It's something all 7 can agree on pretty easily and no one every complains about.

With holidays always brings a certain amount of stress for both kids and parents.  They've been having a harder time getting along with one another.  Just little things, but growing more constant and definitely getting on our (the parents) last nerves.  So, we had a little sit down tonight and I have to say it was nice.  We picked a kid and had them say something they liked about another one.  Then, we asked them to say something about us.  We talked to them about kindness and manners and by the end of it they were going on and on with the compliments to each other and us. 

Another thing we talked about were friends.  We tried to tell them that the ones they have now are not necessarily the ones they'll have all their life.  They don't have to stay friends for the sake of having a friend.  They should enjoy that person and if the person changes they're not 'married'.  We told them how their friends reflect themselves and if one of their friends is not a nice person others will think they are not nice, in turn.  We told them they need to find happiness and friendship in each other.   They are built in friends for the rest of their lives and they will always get each other because they were together through it all.  They need to be proud of one another's accomplishments and not jealous.  They need to encourage each other along the way because they each have differing interests and strengths.  They seemed to start getting it.  I want to see them cheer each other on and be happy for the other one.  I told them that I have plenty to be jealous over my sweet younger sister, but I'm not.  I'm proud of  her.  I'm happy for her and I would only ever wish her happiness because it would hurt to see her or my brother hurt.  I don't want to see any of my siblings hurting. 

I pray by example, my children find happiness, bonding, encouragement and love in each other as they grow older together.  They are bonded by the two of us and the love we have for them.  I hope they always know this.

No progress...

and left frustrated.  The developmental pediatrician tried hard not to dismiss my concerns.  She said some occupational therapy couldn't hurt.  She thinks J is just 'intense'.  What she means is high spirited on the verge of ADHD, but I just don't know.  Then, I asked again about his sleep issues.  The melatonin is working wonders going to sleep, but again it's not meant to keep someone asleep.  She said to give him a little more to see if it at least keeps him asleep more than 2 hours. She then told me to get him out of my bed.  That this is best for him.  Developmentally, maybe.  Adoptive attachment wise, I'm not convinced.  All the research I've done and all the connections I've had with other adoptive families with kids with attachment issues reinforces to me that sleep is not something you mess with.  His cry when I try to get him to stay in my room is so sad and I just can't force him to sleep by himself.  He really does need me.  I don't know that those outside of adoption can understand the trauma kids in adoption go through and some just don't adjust like the majority do.  Some just need a little more for a little longer and I feel that that's my job to love him through this hard time he's having.  It doesn't help that his speech is delayed and he can't voice his issues to me.

My frustration is definitely not with J.  I'm frustrated that I don't feel able to help him sometimes and I want to so badly.  I pray she's right.  I pray that with time we'll see these huge strides in his emotional and social development.  I hope because that's all I have left now that we've ruled everything out except speech, which I am working on.  I love this little man of mine.

Jaemin is so insensitive sometimes

We're getting Jaemin evaluated for sensory processing disorder.  The developmental pediatrician mentioned it in passing in April, so I dismissed it too.  Since some things aren't changing much, I've been looking into a little further and they're going to see him again.  We'll see.  But, one thing that stands out is how Jaemin doesn't feel much pain.  He can fall flat on his face on our hardwood and not cry.  I was putting his socks on him and noticed dried blood on his big toe.  His nail was broken way back in the bed.  I don't know how or when he did it because he never cried.  He did flinch when I tried to pull it to see how bad it was, but that was it.  Poor baby.  He's so sweet.

Here's Jaemin donning his Cinderella bandaid.

Pajamas with Mom Party

I guess they've been doing this for a little bit.  I don't know if they did it when K was in kindergarten or not.  She never mentioned it.  Chelsi, however has been begging since she found out.  We went back to school last night and listened to the teacher read a book while we sat on a blanket in the gym, in our pajamas.  Then, we went into the cafeteria and Chelsi had some ice cream with chocolate syrup and sprinkles.  Then, we went back tot he gym and had blanket races.  I had to wrap Chelsi up in the blanket and drag her down the gym and back.  She was laughing so hard when we were done, I didn't think she'd quit.  She had so much fun.  She really is a fun girl.  She is literally friends with everyone.  All the boys AND girls come to talk to her and get her to sit with them.  And when it was all over we had moms coming up to meet the girl they hear about.  One boy's mom, in particular, came to tell Chelsi 'thank you' for helping her son to quit crying.  I thought there was only one boy that cried and she helped, but apparently there were 2!  She is quite the caring, sweet girl.  She kept fixing our blanket when we were sitting and her teacher came up and told me how organized she is.  She said her desk is immaculate and organized at all times.  She sweet, smart, beautiful and organized?  WOW!!

Here are the pictures from my little camera while we were at school, waiting to start.