Saturday, April 21, 2012
No MAW Update
Quite a few people have asked me if we've heard anything from Make a Wish for Cole's wishes. We haven't heard anything. Trust me. As soon as he knows I will say something. Then, everyone asks if that means he's not getting the trip to Korea, his #1 wish option. I don't have any idea for sure, but my theory is that they just don't know, but they must be at least trying for Korea. His wishes were turned in over a month ago to the main office for our state. Usually families hear back really quick; as in days to less than a month. But, since we put down travel date options as next year they know they have time with us. I think that as long as they think it's a possibility, they're not going to totally rule Korea out and give him the #2 wish. I would say that as soon as they burn up all their options and realize that they can't send our, large, family to Korea they'll notify him pretty quickly that he'll get his #2 wish for a Cabela's shopping spree. I wouldn't think that would be a terribly difficult wish to grant.
So, the short answer is we really do know nothing. We're still hoping and planning to go to Korea next year, no matter what. The thick of it is that Cole is going to have his surgery. We don't know when, but it is inevitable. We want to go as long as he's in the clear and before we're treading on too thin of ice and getting too close to the date. So, next year seems like a good time. If we drain ourselves to go, we drain ourselves. You can't wait for everything in life. There's never a perfect time for important things in your life, you just have to grab it and experience it. We're looking forward to such a memorable experience together.
Anxious Anticipation
they're waiting and watching closely. We shall see what's going to happen and how it all turns out.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
I'm not crazy
Luckily, this person had already confirmed this for me, but she really makes me feel so much better. Just to back up a little, after two visits to a pediatric developmental specialist and her team of OTs and STs, Jaemin was determined not to be autistic (no surprise) and eventually she also said he was not sensory integration disorder either. Funny after just a 20 minute visit with him and her mouth running while I was trying to explain his symptoms. Her trying to compare him to her 3 year old and me trying to voice my concern as a very experienced mother that something was NOT quite right. I explained his constant flapping and need for movement. I explained how he would never allow footy pajamas or blankets on him. I explained how out of sorts he got in certain social surroundings and how he does not play like typical 3 year olds. He doesn't play with toys, or rarely.
After that visit I was completely beat to the ground...the last visit with her and the clinic in October. But, I decided to move forward with getting him evaluated at school since he was then 3 and could possible qualify by the school's standards....for something.....anything. Anything to help him move forward and be emotionally and socially developed. After 2 months of forms, tests, questionnaires and observations by OT and ST he was found to have dramatic speech delay in all areas. She said it was hard to qualify for speech at 3, but because he was having an issue in every area of speech he qualified. YAY! He was found to have sensory integration disorder by our local special learning center's evaluation, but you cannot qualify for OT on just that. You have to have fine and gross motor delays. He has some fine, but definitely not gross and definitely not enough to qualify for OT. But, in the area of sensory they had concerns in 9 out of 15 areas. That's a LOT!
Because of that and the OT's personal observation of Jaemin she offered to still help us. We can't come in for therapy, but she used to work for the special learning center and was willing to give us ideas. She gave me a brush and taught me how to do brushing therapy. She told us to try compressions and wheel barrel walks. The wheel barrel walks didn't go over well because he couldn't support himself, so we taught him to do push ups. Turns out that was the right thing to do.
Fast forward 4 months and I felt down again. His flapping is getting worse, so I called to ask her for more info. I told her how he suddenly wants blankets on him. She said that actually means his senses are changing and possibly calming down and what we're doing IS working. She said the reason he is probably flapping more at home is because he rarely does it at both grandma's houses during the day. She said he's managing to control it all day and when he gets home he feels safe and it becomes an outlet. So he's totaling dumping the day's stimuli. She was nice enough to offer a weighted blanket to try so we don't have to buy without knowing if it will work, but I declined for now since his multilevel blankets seem to be helping. She said it can't be more than 10% of his body weight.
She gave me a whole list of exercises we can do with him through the day and both grandmas can do as well. Using a different one each day will make them not feel like punishment which is where we've kind of landed with minimal ideas in the beginning. I'm anxious to start trying all of them and seeing some progress. I'm happy to find out we've actually made progress.
I told her I was worried about him getting overloaded on the plane to Korea and having no physical outlet. She told me to start using a social story now, explaining Korea and what he can do on a plane versus can't do. She said it may tame some of his behaviors down. We're also going to try a lap weight and make a shoulder weight for him. Try that at home and hopefully, then, it will work on the plane. May have to try it on vacation and if it works on the drive then hopefully, it will also work on the plane. She's going to send me links and other ideas for the plane if she thinks of them. As you can tell I'm pretty much planning on us going to Korea. Even if we don't get it through Make a Wish, we will have to find a way to pay for it. I think it will be very good and therapeutic for all of us.
The OT also told me there's a chance he will outgrow enough by the time he goes to school in 2 1/2 years to integrate fine. If he doesn't they know by the time he's 5 and he'll qualify for and IEP for OT through the school and then he'll get extra help in school. She assured me that if he still has problems and flaps or anything like that to deal with it, in school, he will not be sent to the office or punished and we will work together to help him. That relieved a lot of fears for me.
So, now that I have my arsenal list of things to do with him, I have one for daycare too, I feel armed and ready to take on sensory disorder. Now, I just need to quit worrying about what others think. I know when he throws one of his over stimulated tantrums people either think we're bad parents or he's a bad kid and I know it's neither and they don't know he really does have disorder that he can't control and I need to ignore it all and just love him.
After that visit I was completely beat to the ground...the last visit with her and the clinic in October. But, I decided to move forward with getting him evaluated at school since he was then 3 and could possible qualify by the school's standards....for something.....anything. Anything to help him move forward and be emotionally and socially developed. After 2 months of forms, tests, questionnaires and observations by OT and ST he was found to have dramatic speech delay in all areas. She said it was hard to qualify for speech at 3, but because he was having an issue in every area of speech he qualified. YAY! He was found to have sensory integration disorder by our local special learning center's evaluation, but you cannot qualify for OT on just that. You have to have fine and gross motor delays. He has some fine, but definitely not gross and definitely not enough to qualify for OT. But, in the area of sensory they had concerns in 9 out of 15 areas. That's a LOT!
Because of that and the OT's personal observation of Jaemin she offered to still help us. We can't come in for therapy, but she used to work for the special learning center and was willing to give us ideas. She gave me a brush and taught me how to do brushing therapy. She told us to try compressions and wheel barrel walks. The wheel barrel walks didn't go over well because he couldn't support himself, so we taught him to do push ups. Turns out that was the right thing to do.
Fast forward 4 months and I felt down again. His flapping is getting worse, so I called to ask her for more info. I told her how he suddenly wants blankets on him. She said that actually means his senses are changing and possibly calming down and what we're doing IS working. She said the reason he is probably flapping more at home is because he rarely does it at both grandma's houses during the day. She said he's managing to control it all day and when he gets home he feels safe and it becomes an outlet. So he's totaling dumping the day's stimuli. She was nice enough to offer a weighted blanket to try so we don't have to buy without knowing if it will work, but I declined for now since his multilevel blankets seem to be helping. She said it can't be more than 10% of his body weight.
She gave me a whole list of exercises we can do with him through the day and both grandmas can do as well. Using a different one each day will make them not feel like punishment which is where we've kind of landed with minimal ideas in the beginning. I'm anxious to start trying all of them and seeing some progress. I'm happy to find out we've actually made progress.
I told her I was worried about him getting overloaded on the plane to Korea and having no physical outlet. She told me to start using a social story now, explaining Korea and what he can do on a plane versus can't do. She said it may tame some of his behaviors down. We're also going to try a lap weight and make a shoulder weight for him. Try that at home and hopefully, then, it will work on the plane. May have to try it on vacation and if it works on the drive then hopefully, it will also work on the plane. She's going to send me links and other ideas for the plane if she thinks of them. As you can tell I'm pretty much planning on us going to Korea. Even if we don't get it through Make a Wish, we will have to find a way to pay for it. I think it will be very good and therapeutic for all of us.
The OT also told me there's a chance he will outgrow enough by the time he goes to school in 2 1/2 years to integrate fine. If he doesn't they know by the time he's 5 and he'll qualify for and IEP for OT through the school and then he'll get extra help in school. She assured me that if he still has problems and flaps or anything like that to deal with it, in school, he will not be sent to the office or punished and we will work together to help him. That relieved a lot of fears for me.
So, now that I have my arsenal list of things to do with him, I have one for daycare too, I feel armed and ready to take on sensory disorder. Now, I just need to quit worrying about what others think. I know when he throws one of his over stimulated tantrums people either think we're bad parents or he's a bad kid and I know it's neither and they don't know he really does have disorder that he can't control and I need to ignore it all and just love him.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Real Life Vs. What You Think
Real life is hard. Add parenting and it's that much harder. Not just being a parent, but worrying. Worrying because you love them so much. Driving with Cole has been an eye opener of sorts. My life flashing before my eyes at times. Not because he's so horrible, but yes he's new and he's not great yet, but mostly because I realize the power my 15 year old now has and will have even more in a year when he has the power of a V6 engine in his hands. You realize that mistakes are going to happen. Accidents could happen. And as many hard things we've been through in our marriage there is probably more to come.
I'm thinking about Cole's surgery more. When it is. How will it go. I think now that we're on the top end of the 2 year prediction Dr. R gave us, almost 2 years ago, I admit I'm getting a little nervous. I'm trying not to, but sometimes I just do.
Jaemin is quirky. He's a little odd sometimes. His sensory issues get the best of him and us sometimes. Parents that don't have a child with sensory don't understand because it's so hard to get it. They seem so normal, but then so not. And it's easy to think the kid is just out of hand, when they're not. Their senses are out of hand.
It's, at times, hard to see other families with seemingly normal kids who have encountered nothing in their lives. Sometimes, I, honestly, do get a tad jealous. I'm human. But, I try to remember that I do not know what's in store for them or me. Only God knows this. And God has brought us through so much and I need to always remember to leave my life in His hands and His hands only. I need to continue to trust him with my life. I need to not worry about not saving as much as my spreadsheet says. I need to not worry about when we will go to Korea. I need to not worry about the small stuff so much. But, real life, for me, makes that hard sometimes. But still I promise to try. I know we will have what we need. I know that we will go to Korea when God plans it for us. I know that as long as we follow God's prompts we will get the rewards he has planned for all of us. We have to try hard. Be good people and love each other. I'm remembering this.
For this reason I am trying to put all my insane worries and scary ideas back away. Way back in my brain where they can't find their way out. Where I can't be scared all the time. I'm going to enjoy every second of my kids and try to remember they're just kids making mistakes in life and I need to be there to catch them, but not fix it for them. I absolutely love all 5 of them dearly. Each one has so much to bring to the table to make them special in a different way. Not one of my 5 are alike in anyway. But watching them grow up beats all the money in the world. Watching them grow up beats anything. This is the greatest privilege life has to offer and this is all I will pray God to allow for me. Because it is all I need in happiness.
I'm thinking about Cole's surgery more. When it is. How will it go. I think now that we're on the top end of the 2 year prediction Dr. R gave us, almost 2 years ago, I admit I'm getting a little nervous. I'm trying not to, but sometimes I just do.
Jaemin is quirky. He's a little odd sometimes. His sensory issues get the best of him and us sometimes. Parents that don't have a child with sensory don't understand because it's so hard to get it. They seem so normal, but then so not. And it's easy to think the kid is just out of hand, when they're not. Their senses are out of hand.
It's, at times, hard to see other families with seemingly normal kids who have encountered nothing in their lives. Sometimes, I, honestly, do get a tad jealous. I'm human. But, I try to remember that I do not know what's in store for them or me. Only God knows this. And God has brought us through so much and I need to always remember to leave my life in His hands and His hands only. I need to continue to trust him with my life. I need to not worry about not saving as much as my spreadsheet says. I need to not worry about when we will go to Korea. I need to not worry about the small stuff so much. But, real life, for me, makes that hard sometimes. But still I promise to try. I know we will have what we need. I know that we will go to Korea when God plans it for us. I know that as long as we follow God's prompts we will get the rewards he has planned for all of us. We have to try hard. Be good people and love each other. I'm remembering this.
For this reason I am trying to put all my insane worries and scary ideas back away. Way back in my brain where they can't find their way out. Where I can't be scared all the time. I'm going to enjoy every second of my kids and try to remember they're just kids making mistakes in life and I need to be there to catch them, but not fix it for them. I absolutely love all 5 of them dearly. Each one has so much to bring to the table to make them special in a different way. Not one of my 5 are alike in anyway. But watching them grow up beats all the money in the world. Watching them grow up beats anything. This is the greatest privilege life has to offer and this is all I will pray God to allow for me. Because it is all I need in happiness.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Loosened the belt
for a moment. I totally thought we were a few hundred behind and would have to use Brian's extra check next month to make up for it (he gets paid every two weeks so we don't budget on those two extra checks). But, I was balancing my bank statement from last month (teach me to be late) with my book and realized I had written in daycare twice! YAY! That was just enough to cover it with $28 left over for the month.
What did I do? Turned around and spent more. I still say money well spent though, when it comes to safety for my kids. You know when we were growing up parents didn't have to worry about all the things that driving kids can be distracted by nowadays. I absolutely love my bluetooth in my car and kinda wanted it for Cole. Had no idea you could get it on an older car 'til today. He wanted a new radio since his car's radio has some problems and was planning on getting like an $80 radio. Nothing extravagant, but his money anyways. I got to thinking that maybe we could get him to buy a radio with bluetooth so he wouldn't have to reach for and find his phone when he's driving. I found a good deal on one for $130 and then found a place that could install it reasonably. Since Cole would probably have to have it installed anyways he upped his allowable, gave me $100 and we're paying for the rest for him.
I will feel so much better having that. Not that he has some great cell phone and uses it all the time or anything, but kids will answer a phone if it rings and this way he can be safe doing it. I did tell him that I'll yank it back out if I ever find out he bypassed it or it unsynced and he answered the phone anyways. Just pullover and resync please. Mine does that, is the only reason I brought it up.
So far he seems like a pretty careful driver...almost scared. Which a little fear is sometimes a good thing. Good thing the boy's been working on a local farm so he could afford his new radio. He'll be all set up in the next month or so.
What did I do? Turned around and spent more. I still say money well spent though, when it comes to safety for my kids. You know when we were growing up parents didn't have to worry about all the things that driving kids can be distracted by nowadays. I absolutely love my bluetooth in my car and kinda wanted it for Cole. Had no idea you could get it on an older car 'til today. He wanted a new radio since his car's radio has some problems and was planning on getting like an $80 radio. Nothing extravagant, but his money anyways. I got to thinking that maybe we could get him to buy a radio with bluetooth so he wouldn't have to reach for and find his phone when he's driving. I found a good deal on one for $130 and then found a place that could install it reasonably. Since Cole would probably have to have it installed anyways he upped his allowable, gave me $100 and we're paying for the rest for him.
I will feel so much better having that. Not that he has some great cell phone and uses it all the time or anything, but kids will answer a phone if it rings and this way he can be safe doing it. I did tell him that I'll yank it back out if I ever find out he bypassed it or it unsynced and he answered the phone anyways. Just pullover and resync please. Mine does that, is the only reason I brought it up.
So far he seems like a pretty careful driver...almost scared. Which a little fear is sometimes a good thing. Good thing the boy's been working on a local farm so he could afford his new radio. He'll be all set up in the next month or so.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Crazy Little Boy
Someone wet their pants tonight, so no iPod games or tv tonight. Needless to say it was a better night. Sometimes I'm so unsure if Jaemin will outgrow the quirks and idiosyncrasies, but tonight it was like there was a little piece of hope to say he could. I think it's going to take work on our part to keep him away from the things that overdose him on stimuli. I got great support from some adoptive parents on what they do with their sensory kids, so next time there's a major meltdown or family gathering with too many faces and activity for Jaemin I'm going to try it out. He's sucha great little boy and I love him so much. I want the entire world for him.
Jaemin's always a little on the wild side, but tonight he actually played like other kids sometimes do. He made things up and played with trains with the girls. So I decided it's video time which Jaemin totally loves! Pictures, videos, attention....that's Jaemin.
Jaemin's always a little on the wild side, but tonight he actually played like other kids sometimes do. He made things up and played with trains with the girls. So I decided it's video time which Jaemin totally loves! Pictures, videos, attention....that's Jaemin.
Monday, April 9, 2012
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