Time is short

My mom always told me I wished my life away.  And now that I'm in the throws of being a mom I know exactly what she meant.  It goes by all too quickly.  It seems like yesterday I brought Cole home and here we are 14 1/2 years later with 4 more after him.  I've spent the past year working only 1/2 time....20 hours/week.  I'm here to tell you this is the absolute perfect schedule.  It's enough to still work and bring home a paycheck, but so much more time with the kids.  And since it does all go by too quicklly, it's wonderful moments and times I get to see them come home from school, pick them up or spend alone time with Jaemin (and Chelsi before kindergarten).  I'm returning fulltime to work and it's not because I want to it's because I must.  We've been living off our savings to supplement nearly no income from me and unfortuantely without frills living requires both of 'our' incomes.

But, I will forever and ever be thankful for this past year.  Thankful that my office allowed it for me.  Thankful to my mom, my stepdad and Brian's mom for keeping the kids on my work days for no cost.  Thankful I got one year of  glimpse of what I had always dreamed of.  Thankful for one year for Jaemin to get a little more time bonding and attachment.  Thankful for more time with the older kids to get to know a little better.  And thankful for one year for life to slow down a bit and have time to keep up with it all.

Today is my last part time day home with Jaemin.  I'm spending his naptime trying to do one last chore I wanted to get done; burn our videos.  I've been going through and watching some older ones and wow how the kids have changed and grown and they are beautiful.  I miss their mini voices when the big kids were youger.  I can still see how their personalities then are a lot like they still are today.....they're just bigger.  I love my kids so much and am so thankful that they're mine; exactly who they are.

Here's a short video from today.  Jaemin got out the playdough last night.  He wanted to do it this morning when we got home from getting the big kids to school and grocery shopping.  So, that we did.  Then, he found a Korean video that he really liked watching over and over and over again.  He's my sweetie, that's for sure.  I wish every mom could have just one year with each of their kids to have the freedom to bond and enjoy with little guilt.  It's a dream come true that every mom deserves and I'm lucky to have been on the receiving end of this.  It's back to reality, but I have memories to last forever.

Bye for now.