Heavy week

 

It’s been a rough week.  I’m not sure about the kids. I haven’t seen anything different for them.  But I have struggled.  It was nice that Cole talked to me Saturday. I heard the hunting chimes ring just once.  I know that was him. It was calm and they’re under the deck roof but still rang. Monday was 3 months.  The realization, yes I know it, that he’s gone is really settling in. He’s not just in KS and hasn’t visited. This week is my birthday…- big one and he’d never miss that.  

Then tonight I got into my husband about something and he explained that he’d had a roughy week and day.  He saw a kid that reminded him of our son and he said the rest of the day sucked.   I told him to share that stuff with me.  I suffered in silence all week because I’m always afraid to bring others down.  I stayed late at work one day because a co-worker was helping me deal with it and talk about it all.  We need to do this together.  We’re the parents.  I know it hurts us the most and I need to stop being afraid of my sadness sometimes making others sad.  I have to really start dealing with and not hiding it all. 

Oahu….short visit lots to do

Aloha!

1969 Bronco pick up with my cousin?  Yes thank you. 

Kualoa Ranch. Lots to see

 This was just the first half of the day. We got to Oahu about 10am and we were promptly picked up by my cousin who is in the military. He took us to as many sites as possible on his day off.  We started with lunch and Kualoa Ranch which is the home of many movie/tv scenes from Jurassic Park/World, Jumanji, Magnum PI, 50 First Dates etc.  Pretty neat how many things were filmed on this massive ranch which is also the home to many bomb shelters from the war which is probably part of the allure.  

Seoul My Soul

This is the theme for Seoul right now and it’s so true. I’ve been lax on sharing because it’s just been a lot. We’ve taken in so much, felt so much and done so much. I had a major crying breakdown the couple of days before we left. I had been thinking about Cole a lot and the dam finally broke on the Friday we left at her agency. I just went to the bathroom and sat on the floor and let it out. It’s so hard to enjoy something you’re supposed to while you miss someone so much. I think by then we were really missing the others in our family and this just amplified my sadness. 

I did my best to not bring Chelsi down and keep going and have fun with her. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past 2 1/2 months. Take it til you make it doesn’t work so well with grief though. 

Here are the rest of the Seoul photos. 

Ramen Library in Hongdae 

Where Daniel Dae Kim are

Starfield Library Coex

Best hotteoks

Drone show on the river

Communal eating everywhere

Nanta!

Mochi. Yum

Masks so cheap 

Baskin Robins

Mangwon Market. So good for eating and less crowded than Gwangjang 

Insadong (arts)

Yeongjongdo Rail Bike. Really fun and beautiful walk nearby. Just have to learn to take the bus but if you use City Mapper app it will tell you which stop your bus is approaching so that you can get off. 

Hongdae eats and walks. Always where we stay 

Walk to Yongma Waterfall Park in Seoul. Very pretty walk and park. 

Gwangjang Market then eat and walk on Cheonggyecheon Stream and rest 

Return to Seodaemun Prison for Cole.  He picked that on the trip he came on and Chelsi didn’t remember it. So sad. The history is amazing. And we met a nice 88 year old gentleman outside, Mr Park who showed us photos of his grandson who was born and raised in the US. He wanted to practice English on us. He taught himself just so he could talk to his grandson who knows no English. 

Naksan Mountain walk on the wall trail

Sunset is awesome from here

Seoullo 7017

Starbucks for my first time. 

Airport food at Incheon super cheap and good!

Never flown at night. Goodbye Seoul