It’s been a rough week. I’m not sure about the kids. I haven’t seen anything different for them. But I have struggled. It was nice that Cole talked to me Saturday. I heard the hunting chimes ring just once. I know that was him. It was calm and they’re under the deck roof but still rang. Monday was 3 months. The realization, yes I know it, that he’s gone is really settling in. He’s not just in KS and hasn’t visited. This week is my birthday…- big one and he’d never miss that.
Then tonight I got into my husband about something and he explained that he’d had a roughy week and day. He saw a kid that reminded him of our son and he said the rest of the day sucked. I told him to share that stuff with me. I suffered in silence all week because I’m always afraid to bring others down. I stayed late at work one day because a co-worker was helping me deal with it and talk about it all. We need to do this together. We’re the parents. I know it hurts us the most and I need to stop being afraid of my sadness sometimes making others sad. I have to really start dealing with and not hiding it all.
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