In my dreams

 In my dreams I hope to see you. 

I ask you to visit me. 

Your hug feels real. 

Our conversations are real. 

These dreams make me happy.  

Last night I had that dream. I haven’t had one in awhile but you visited last night.  I woke up before 5 this morning and couldn’t really go back to sleep. I just kept thinking about the dream and you. You in your button up black shirt. I don’t know whatever happened to that shirt of yours.  You spoke to me like you had only been gone shortly. You said something about two weeks but I don’t understand what you meant. You said you weren’t dead. That was the word you used.  I asked for a hug and you hugged me.  I can still feel your hug tonight.  I told you through tears how much I loved you and told you that you would never really understand just how much I truly loved you.  

A mom tries to tell and show their children, in life, how much she loves them but they never truly understand the limitless love of a mother.  Limitless through their mistakes and disappointments and limitless through death.  I still love him. I always will.  These kids of mine mean the world to me. Every one of them special to me.  Everyone of them takes up a piece of my heart that will never heal with their absence. They ARE what made it whole when the youngest arrived 15 years ago. 

Hug your kids. Take photos with them. Take the videos to hear their voices.