Somber

I think that's how I describe my feeling right now.  This isn't happening to a close friend, but close enough that I feel awful, somber, sad, thankful, all rolled into one.

A friend found out after battling breast cancer just last year, cancer is back but in vertebrae and liver.  It's not good.  I think about their kids.  I think about her as a mom and how close she and the kids are to each other.  I just can't imagine and don't want to.  It's too sad and hard.

I woke up the day after I found out in such a good mood.  I couldn't figure out why and then I realized that it was because I was so thankful for the life I have.  I was not living her nightmare. 

I pray that there's some miracle.  That they're wrong.  That she survives so much longer than the statistics.  That somehow she beats it.  She's entirely too young.  They're entirely too young.  It's not right or fair. 

I'm just sad.