Looking forward, looking back

While I love today and what it brings like a sweet little five year old who can break in with "I love you" to divert your attention from getting onto him.  I sort of look forward to years down the road when I see them all grown up and I have the water to just the two of us instead of sharing the pressure because the washing machine, dishwasher or another shower is constantly running in this family of 7.  I look forward to always having hot water when I take a shower, with pressure.  I look forward to not worrying about who's watching who while we run and get things done.  I'm not  sure I'll really have that empty nest syndrome a lot of older couples do.

But, I know to love where we're at.  Though in the tough times, not so much.  I look forward to skipping forward a few days to get through whatever it  is, or sometimes months.  I am trying to just enjoy the day, the time we're in.  Trying to enjoy each of their stages and changes.  It's kind of neat with a family this big.  You get to see the changes an almost 17 year old goes through as he approaches being an adult in one year.  Wow, I will have an adult child in one year!  You get to see the changes a 13 year old goes through as he really enters puberty and the teen years.  You get to see the scary changes an 11 year old goes through as she blossoms into a really beautiful young lady.  You get to see the innocence and fun an 8 year old still has and the little girl your 11 year old used to be.  And all while that is ALL going on at the same exact moment, you get to see a sweet little 5 year old boy just be ALL boy and so young and so sweet and just starting life as he gets ready to enter the real world school holds.

Try to enjoy every step of the way. That's my lifelong goal......and as I write that and say that my 16 year old is out with friends and I'm hoping what we've taught him and what he knows stays with him every second he's away from us and he makes good decisions.  So yes, while I enjoy it and try really hard to enjoy every second I'm scared to death at moments with worry of what I know other kids do hoping mine won't.   The joys of parenting come with a lot of worries.  But, I guess, nothing great is without risk.