My poor oldest baby

Every mother knows that you can't protect your child from the hurts of the world, but GOD IT HURTS!

He did much better with today than I anticipated and I know he was angry, but we talked tonight about taking things gracefully, accepting apologies gracefully and being a bigger person no matter what.  As a friend at work said; it's hard enough for us full-grown adults and I'm expecting this out of a 16 year old.  He always has had to deal with adult details of life, what's new though?

I had finally gotten the nerve to call Cole's PC (pediatric cardiologist) today to find out about the MRI.  He called back right away and said someone was supposed to have called to schedule.  Okay, so let's go ahead.  They're getting the specifics but we do plan to go in February for an all day trip, no sedation MRI.  He broke the news, which I guess I sort of anticipated, that he does NOT qualify for the Melody Valve, so it's open-heart next.  I knew that the Melody required a conduit or something to use in the anatomy of the heart, but didn't know if what Cole had left of a PV (pulmonary valve) was going to be enough. He didn't have enough.  He said we could wait until summer so he didn't have to miss a day of school, but I told him that Cole and I had already had a conversation about timing.  He originally wanted to have it over the summer until he realized that if he did it this Spring there was a chance he could wrestle his Senior year which is this October.  The cardiologist agreed to move up the MRI in case he needs surgery.

I asked him what he thought after he compared last years echo and ekg to this years and he said that he had begun to see things in last years and they were still there this year.  Nothing significantly changed, but obviously there are electrical things going on there.  The MRI will verify if the muscle is too damaged to wait, failure or no failure.  I asked him if he could wait until next year and he said it's possible that's what the MRI will show, but he had the tone he gets when he really doesn't believe that to be the case.  I have this feeling he knows more than he's letting on and Cole does too, but we'll have to wait to see.  Who cares about the $1,000 for the MRI, I just want to know he'll be okay.  But, there's the chance before school lets out this year he will have had it.  I will try to purge that back where I've been keeping it all these years so I don't get over anxious

Then, about 3:12 today Brian called and said Cole was home from school.  Apparently, his 7th hour teacher decided he didn't have to listen to a 16 year old and didn't believe that he was supposed to leave early for a wrestling match 2 hours away.  The office said they announced it, but something must have been wrong with the intercom in the classroom.  The teacher didn't even try to ask the office or anything, he just told Cole he was wrong.  The bus indeed left without him on the night he was so excited about getting to wrestle varsity.  I left a message for the principal and called the coach to let him know what was going on.  They had no idea.  I guess they thought he just skipped?  The principal called me back to tell me he heard what happened and apologized.  He said he'd pay mileage if we drove him there, but I told him I had already asked Cole and since it's 2 hours away and weigh ins were in about 40 minutes from school letting out there was no way possible for him to wrestle.  He said he was going to talk to the coach and the teacher, but he couldn't imagine what they could say to not put the school at fault on this.  He told me someone would be apologizing to me.  I let him know that I didn't need it.  I was mad yes.  I was worried about how much it upset my child yes, but it was him to deserved to be apologized to.  I told him most of my concern at this point was making sure this never happened to another kid since they couldn't fix what they did.

I did follow up with an email.  I think the teacher needed to step back and realize that you don't really know a kid or people.  Of course I didn't say that, just thoughts.  He needs to know that kids aren't there to get out of school.  Cole has never tried that.  And at the very least he wasn't a jerk teenager and didn't just walk out though apparently it crossed his mind.  I told him he made the better choice.  I told him that if Cole has surgery and depending on the timing every match is a match he gets to have.  We don't know what he'll lose with surgery and I hated seeing him lose one over this sort of thing.  I'm sure he had no idea he had a heart condition.  Not many do know.  But those who don't know anyone with one don't know the things they take for granted in life.  Just like I don't know what some others don't get to do because of what they were handed in life.  I'm just trying my very best to keep this kid in the activity he enjoys, keeps him healthy, is great for his esteem and is something to enjoy in high school for a limited time.  Take advantage that the cardiologist finally caved and let him do it.  Take advantage that his heart has done well through it.  Be the kid that's rare to make it 16 years after a transannular patch with monocusp repair of tetralogy.  You don't know what tomorrow will bring, so get the most out of today.  This has been my motto in life.  I've seen too many others wait for tomorrow and it never comes.  I want to enjoy my family today to the fullest and want my kids to enjoy their lives to the fullest.  Their happiness is everything.

I couldn't make it all better for Cole when I got home tonight, but I started off with a hug and then told him all the details of the day.  I think he knew about his heart, so he just nodded, but he internalizes, so he'll fear the surgery and not want to talk about it.  That's probably best.  Only talk about it when and if you have to.  Just hopefully, he's not internalizing anything I need to know about, but I think that couple of hours before me getting home did him some good to blow the steam off....and the fact that his dad told him to go hunting which is a great hobby for stress.