Reasons why

you can be okay when your kid doesn't get to play when they should.  I'm not a spiteful, overly competitive parent, but when I see my kid, who has always played key positions as a starter, suddenly standing on the sidelines so that the newly paid coaches can play the kids that have $$, have older brothers that make them think the younger brother could be a clone of said older brother or the kid is a teacher/coaches kid, it kind of makes you go hmmmm.....after you get over the initial anger of the politics of middle school football.  This was my reality check that it's alive and well, so I'm left with find humoring in it after nothing left else to do.

A.  While other parents are complaining about their kids who have never been injured at younger competitions, getting hurt now, I can revel in the fact that if my child isn't playing he can't end up like his teammates either.

B.  He will have a body that still functions in high school, while some kids will have broken down parts from multiple injuries at younger ages.

C.  Less grass stains to get out.

D.  His weaker ankles can rest (kind of a cheat since it's another injury related reason, but oh well.

E.  When they get their butts handed to them like they did today I can honestly say my kid had not part of it.  There may not be an i in team, but if you have the same favorites  in the game day after day, there's never going to be a u in it either.

So, here's to more losses until hopefully they learn to play to the kids' potentials instead of politics in a public school.  These coaches have a lot to learn abut communication.  Those poor boys were running in and out because they had no idea where they were supposed to be or go because they get mixed signals from the coaches.

Lulls

I've lulled in my posts.  Sometimes I regret it because this IS my diary for me and my family.  But, because I know others read it, I do tend to hold back just a bit.  Even when things are going well or I'm just content (which is usually the reason for lulls) I just don't want to jinx anything.  Nor do I want to seem like a whiner because I may have had a bad day; hoping things will be better the next and knowing my life is still better than some people who may be dealing with the worst life can offer.  I guess right now aside from a few normal discontentments a parent may encounter I'm in that content stage.  You know, you're kids are healthy, you and your spouse are all reasonably well, you're paying your bills, so life must be okay.  That's mostly my philosophy anyways.  As long as we're always reasonably well and we can pay our bills life is pretty good.  I don't need to be wealthy to be happy or cut down my neighbor to be happy, I can just be happy.  Too many Americans need to step on one another financially and socially in order to feel that contented feeling and it's very sad.  I think it's been the destruction of this country.  Sad, but I do believe social darwinism has been around for a very long time and is in no threat of stopping.

So, for me.  I'll continue to try and attempt to show my kids what's really important in life and allow them to enjoy their lives as they've been handed to them by God.  Kinda like I told Cole one night as he was a little disappointed to have no classes this year with his closest friends.  Sometimes, even if life isn't perfect and you're not totally happy, faking your way through a little can eventually get you to believing your life really is fine the way it is.  I realize this doesn't capture all lives, but for his situation and some others it's true.  He's been a pretty happy kid this school year so far (though it's VERY new), so maybe we're onto something.

Here's to everyone else's happiness.

Happy Birthdays

While tonight was not Kaelin's official birthday party, my brother got to come home and be here for her birthday so we did a combo birthday for E, my nephew (I finally got to meet him, YAY) and Kaelin.  B's her Godfather, so I really wanted him to be able to be here with her.  She'll get her friend party later.  Lois let us use her pool again and the kids had a great time and the weather was SO nice.  They always have fun at Lois' house.  Then we went back to our house for the cake and ice cream for the 10 and 2 year olds.  Loved meeting my nephew last night and seeing him again today.  He's really, really cute!





The goggles were Ethan's idea.




Something's wrong with this picture.

And afterward at our house.

The next medalist in swimming

He's such a natural.  Too bad our school doesn't have a swim team.  3 years old and Jaemin can totally swim by himself.  We decided to let him go at Lois' house today.  Now, watch and the 2nd time he goes for the ladder he turns back to me.  Some might see that as a failure, but I see that as skill! Have I ever, ever said how much I love, love, love this boy and he inspires me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?nomobile=1&v=OTpeKagBBS0

And she's going to Disney!

http://news.yahoo.com/donations-send-ohio-cancer-patient-disney-143917350.html

This little girl gets to go to Disney afterall.  You see both parents have to sign off through Make a Wish, but since she has now received private donations her mom and grandmother can just take her.  Great!

so glad to be done for the day

This week has been the week from you know where.  Work is crazy right now because there are only 4 of us in our unit, however 1 has been out on medical leave for almost 2 months now and another left a couple of weeks ago....and somewhat in disarray.  2 of us are left to do everything for 4 and I'm conducting interviews to fill the vacant position.  That alone has been a full time job this week.  And my car, well it decided to throw yet another temper tantrum, landing it at the dealership service department for about the 7th or 8th time in less than 2 months.  I literally had to crawl across to the passenger side to get out because the driver's door wouldn't open.  I was locked in.  Something bubbled, in the molding....they say, and caused the door panel to get stuck and it was stuck good because no one could open it.  I left work early today to go to a friend's dad's funeral.  I was SO happy to come home, not only because I am really so uncomfortable at those things, but because I was not thinking at all or thought wrong, whichever.  I wore these wedge shoes and thought we wouldn't be standing much, so I could tolerate them.  And we didn't stand much, but I couldn't tolerate them.  I spent my standing time trying to lean on a wall to shove my heel to the back of my shoe to relieve the pressure in my toes.

Normally I would just tough it out, but when we were at Sea World in May I wore tennis shoes and I guess a combination of too hot of weather and feet swelling with leather that shrunk up on the water rides and I knew something was wrong.  When we came back to the condo that day, I told Brian something wasn't right.  I told him I felt like my toenails were going to popoff.  I couldn't see anything because I had painted my nails.  A couple of weeks ago my polish was wearing off and I noticed blood on the edges.  I took off my polish to find both big toenails bruised badly, bleeding underneath...or had at one time and I knew.  Then, a couple of days ago I wore close toed shoes for the first time all summer and came around a corner at work and someone else came around the other direction and I stopped too sudden and shoved my toes to the front of my flats.  I took off my shoe and saw how grey my nail now was.  It's disconnected from my skin in the middle now.  They're both going to fall off...Brian says after the new nail grows in it will shove it off. 

If I remember right, this is exactly what happened to  Chelsi several months ago when her shoes were too small and we didn't know it.  I couldn't figure out how she wouldn't notice......now I know.  It's tolerable pain as well as your shoes conceal it a bit.  I'm dreading fall and close toed shoes if they don't fall off and heal a little by then.  They're sorta sore right now only from a couple of hours in heels.  So relieved to be home, out of those shoes and off my feet.

And yeah, I bought new shoes that are a little bigger.

Something funny

Everyone close to us knows we've been saving for Korea for many years now.  We sold and downgraded our truck to afford the trip among other things.  We've worked really hard to save this amount.  Well, we decided to refinance our house to the new, lower rates and the bank contacted us after we sent in our application and asked us a question that took us by surprise.  We had to submit our bank statements and that's what set off the question.

Apparently, there are some rules through Fannie Mae that if accounts are above the norm they have to look at the accounts closer.  We had the sale of our truck on that statement and that large deposit (It wasn't really that much considering it was a truck) threw up some flags.  I explained that we sold our truck and downgraded.  I didn't know there were these rules or flags in place and I've dealt with this loan officer for years.  I told her I was a little disappointed they would question us about this deposit to the degree they did.  There were more questions about it than I'm really going into here.  She replied and explained to me that it was Fannie Mae and it was because our savings was higher than the average in America.  WHAT??!!!  Barely having enough to go to Korea doesn't seem like a massive nest egg, but apparently in banking world or in America it is.  I told her not to worry, in a year the money will be gone after we go to Korea.  :)

Brian's jaw dropped when I told him.  We both had a good laugh for the night.  I mean really it's not that hard to save the money when you are frugal and careful with your money and then sell vehicles you don't need, right?  :)

1/2 way through

The orthodontist thinks Chase will get his braces off in December....yay!  That means, literally, only 12 visits total.  The original estimates from the other guys wanted reverse headgear, palate expander and this meant YEARS of treatment.  Chase's teeth already look amazing!  He's pretty fresh out of school and he said the newer studies are showing that only about 5% of kids actually need that extent of treatment as opposed to doing what we did and just wait for normal growth to fix some of it and then intervene for what may be left.  In Chase's case it was his ectopic eye teeth that didn't want to drop down, gap in his front teeth and crossbite.  None of it's there anymore.  He even got his inside wire off today and is close to getting the bumps off his back teeth.

Cole is only on his 3rd visit and only has bottom brackets so far.  He's only anticipating putting a few on the top to even it out a little.  We settled for good enough treatment over perfection to a savings of about $3,000+.  It will be barely noticeable in the end.  Cole's issues were a crossbite in his back teeth because of a molar that was turned on it's side and pretty bad crowding in the front lowers.  They literally zig-zagged across his mouth and all of this left him with a moderate overbite.  The turned tooth was worrisome though.  Same thing as Chase, they can eventually damage beyond keeping the teeth, which would cost us what we paid in their treatments anyways.  Cole first wire looked like a U when it went in and after it was attached to the brackets, it looked like a U with crimps in it and one big indent.  It had to go in a long way to grab that turned over tooth.  His front teeth are already lined up.  They're arched upward now, but he says they still need to come out because they were bent backwards and shouldn't have been.  He says once they come forward into more of a U shape, not a flattened U like they are now (after straightening some) his overbite will correct more.  His turned tooth looks really good.  It's still turned because, well, it has a LONG way to go, but it's definitely moving.  Poor Cole's in a lot more pain after each wire than Chase because his have so much further to move.  I asked if we could have done anything earlier with his bottoms and he told me that the bottom fuses around age 4.  He said there's no way you could anticipate this much at that age and this is the only situation.  I felt better about that.

In the end both boys only cost about $4,600 total.  That was after almost 5 years of shopping around, 2nd, 3rd and 4th opinions before deciding what route to do.  I asked tons of questions to understand what our choices were and realized we were better off waiting until now.  Now hopefully, we get a break before any of the others need braces.  Thank goodness he gives a 5% discount for each sibling and 5% for cash payment.

They're going to have some pretty great smiles!

Rite of Passage

Jaemin had a rite of passage today.  At least for this area.  Jaemin and I got on the tube and tubed together while Brian drove the boat.  He wanted it faster and faster.  We only had to stop when his short, legs got stuck between the tube and the cover.  We did great around the turns and everything.  Helps that his mom is a seasoned tubing expert!

We didn't stay on the river long, but long enough to see a few trains pass through which totally thrill him.  He jumped off the dock and swam a little.  He did great for losing the nap today!  All the kids were pretty tired.  I'm not sure how many times Cole, Chase and Kaelin went up and down the river.

Lifelong lessons

are ones you have to learn the hard way.  But, the test of character is that you actually learn from your experience to not experience it again.

Blessing #4 chose to try her hand, literally, at stealing.  We walked in the door from Walmart and I handed her something to take in and she wouldn't take it.  She was holding her side and I immediately had a flashback to being in the store and she was holding her side then.  She does that sometimes, so I didn't think anything of it until this moment.  She eventually showed me the candy under her shirt.  And after a 5 minute prodding, she confessed she did, in fact, take it from the store.  Disappointed doesn't begin to describe the feelings we both had.  She's the child we had few fears for as she grows up.  But, we have to remember that all of our kids are human and WILL make mistakes.  I pray, though, it's not worse than this though.  The life altering mistakes are my biggest fears. 

So, I did what (I think) most parents would do and loaded her back into the car, took her back to the store and made her explain it to the manager.  The manager was great.  She got down to her level, explained that people go to jail for that everyday and they turn people in for that.  She told her to learn from it and thanked her for being honest and coming back to confess.  Then, she lipped 'thank you' to me and we left.  Needless to say she is being punished at home, but I'm pretty sure going there and facing it was a lot of the punishment.

New Addition to the Blog for Make a Wish

No, there's no update for Cole's wish, but I thought it would be a good time to add a link to donate to Make a Wish.  It's  great foundation and if you just Google wish stories, you'd be amazed by what some families go through and the joy a simple wish can bring to a very ill child or a child who has spent their life fighting or a child who had to live life differently because of whatever was handed to them to deal with.  In the future, I'll add other great organizations, but thought my new area "Great Write Offs", as in tax write offs, would be great to start with Make a Wish.

Make someone's wish come true.

More pictures from today

The others were off my phone.  These are off my camera.  You can definitely tell the beginning of the game from the end for Chelsi.  She was VERY grumpy at the beginning before she adjusted to the heat and gave in to have fun.  And was much happier at the 2nd half.

Our view from our really great, FREE, seats.  No zoom.....actually, I think I had the lens the other direction, so the players were much closer than it looks.  The foul balls were caught right next to us.

Oh well

Not the greatest game we've been to by far.  And it was hhhhoottttt.  But thanks to my good Cardinal fan Lois we brought lots of frozen water bottles and frozen wash rags for our necks.  I caved too.  I bought Brian a ballpark beer since he'd never had one and it was 106 degrees.....no kidding.  I even bought a Cardinal water fan.  Yeah I messed up there.  I thought a different sign said $5.20.  Must have been an item number.  I had to pay $20!  Kept Jaemin busy for a few innings and he and Chelsi never whined about the heat again.  Jaemin was into it by the end and was ready to clap.  Blood, sweat and tears...that's what they got from their fans today.   More sweat though.

Another year of swimming lessons done!

Only the littlest 3 went this year, but they did well.  Kaelin passed level 4.  It was her 2nd attempt, but she'll go onto level 5 next year which mostly teaches water safety and rescue.  Chelsi did not pass level 3, but level 3 is a pretty high level at only age 6 and in 4 foot water when you're only 3 1/2 foot tall is tougher.  We didn't expect it since she had strep on test night, last night.  She had to miss and stay home.  Jaemin passed preschool lessons.  The only thing I worried about Jaemin not passing was paying attention and listening.  He has no problems getting in water which is really all their trying to do at this level.  They do not allow a child to go past preschool without passing and being 5 years or older.  So he does have to go to level 2 preschool or we could skip next year when he's 4 and send him at 5, to the level 1 class for big kids.  But, he enjoys swimming so much we'll send him, I'm sure.

His teacher even wrote "LOVED Jaemin's enthusiasm for the water" on his evaluation.  And boy did he have enthusiasm.  She told another instructor how crazy he is.  The put them in the 2 foot tonight and she told him to jump in.  She said "I know you don't need my help like the other kids, I know you want in" and he just leaped into the water.  He actually swims in the 2 foot.  He just drops under the water, moves his arms and kicks his legs and maneuvers around the pool.  The instructors for preschool were just shocked at how comfortable he was and how good he was in the water.  I still can't believe how well he swims without any lessons until these past 2 weeks.  He's a bit of a natural athlete I think.

And while we worry about some of Jaemin's social and emotional delays from his sensory disorder and speech delay, I'm so proud of him at lessons.  He worked so hard and tried so hard.  It's hard for him to relate to his peers and he would grab their hands as soon as the teacher mentioned it to walk around the pool or do an activity.  He'd watch his teacher's movements so close so he could mimic with his own.  He is a truly amazing kid.  I fall in love more and more with him every single day, if that's even possible.  I really do adore Jaemin.

A first for me; I was not looked at as his mother

In 9 years of adoptive parenting, I've never had anyone just look past me like I wasn't the mom or couldn't possibly the mother.  Honestly, it didn't offend me, it just totally caught me off-guard.  Jaemin was REALLY tired tonight and swimming lessons just did him in.  After the girls finished their lesson it was time to leave and I was trying to get things together and he immediately threw a fit because I wasn't holding him yet.  Since he insisted on throwing a fit without asking nicely first I told him I wouldn't hold him until he calmed down.  He was too far in the throws of that tantrum to do that.  I just calmly kept telling Jaemin I was not going to hold him until he stopped screaming, etc.  I kept turning around a kept a couple of feet in front of him so he'd know we couldn't just stop everything; that to him would be the fit winning.  I stopped on the sidewalk to tell him, calmly, again and a lady and her two girls walked up to him and she bent down a bit and said 'oh you poor thing, are you alright?'.  I just kept talking to him and we'd keep on walking and every few feet he'd stop for his tantrum.  I think as I was talking to Chelsi she realized I WAS his mother.  Such a weird feeling.  I feel like his mom and for the first time someone else didn't think I fit.

A little fun in the HOT sun

It was 100 degrees today so we went swimming at Chez Lois.  As always the kids had a great time.  Jaemin should sleep great after all the swimming he did around the pool.  All of the kids should be pretty tired.

Adoption Article

I found this interesting.  It's a daughter, by both adoption and birth, meeting some of her Korean birth family and having her two mothers together.

http://www.koreanamericanstory.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=227:pain-regret-forgiveness&catid=50:heart-and-seoul&Itemid=96

My little water bug - so cute ^-^

What can I say?  He is definitely my boy!  He loves the water and could swim all day.  He is really enjoying his first year of swimming lessons.

I wish I could be a pushover

Not that I couldn't, just that I know it's not right.  I mean those parents that don't stand firm....they have it easy.  Easy because partly they probably don't care enough to stand firm.  They don't care about the possible outcomes.  Tonight was yet another test.

Cole did well on his algebra state exams, but did not do well on many assignments through the year or his semester 2 final.  I talked to his teacher to find out what I could do or what he was struggling with and she thought his ADHD was affecting him and she said they had an 8 day course this summer that he could attend to get a better grip before starting Chemistry College Prep this fall.  Since the deal was no letter jackets without decent grades (Bs and above) I told him he either took the course and put out effort or he buys at least 1/2 the letter jacket.  If he doesn't get one his sophomore year it's pretty pointless.  Not much time to wear a $300 jacket after that.

He's in the 3rd day of the bootcamp and it's 4 hours everyday.  That is a lot of algebra.....I know.  Tonight he told me how boring it was and asked if he could please stop.  I told him no that I would never have expected a D for the semester and he started so I need to see progress and effort.  I finally told him that I would 'think' about allowing him to stop if he asked his teacher to explain what all he did wrong on his exam and reteach him how to do it.   Then he has to ask if there are online problems he can do (since that's pretty much what they're doing) similar to where he struggled this year.  I told him that after she confirmed he was getting it I would consider it.  You have to remember that tomorrow is the last day this week and next week is another four days, so I'm not expecting him to miss much.  Could be wrong, but we'll see.  For now, I'm standing firm.  I want him to take responsibility to get back what he lost.  We'll see what he does with it.  I hope I'm not disappointed.

Hmmmm

He's scared of the dark.  The boy who is so hard to understand most times was able to tell me that he's scared of his closet and the dark.  He's been spending a lot more time in my bed again.  Sometimes he's fine and sometimes he's not.  Tonight I'm going to try putting another nightlight in that's even brighter.  Hoping he'll stay put.  On the bright side he does fall asleep really fast and then I can just move him back to his bed and 99% of the time he stays there.

He was upset about staying in his bed last night.  I walked by to go to bed and he saw me.  It's always over when he sees me.  I tried to ignore him and stayed in the bathroom to pluck my eyebrows.  Then, I heard the banging on the wall.  He took his puppy which has a plastic end on it and was hitting the wall.  Then, he started to get quiet.  I think it was finally starting to tire him.  But, by then Brian was in there and it set him off again.  uuuhhhh.  So I went in to pick him up and I told him that he can't scream and throw a fit like that.  He said "I sowy".  I asked him what he was sorry for and he says "hitting you wall".  I know it's not really funny, but he's so sweet when he says it and he's finally starting to get the language to say what he needs to get out which eventually will trim the tantrums some.  So, we just bear with it until it comes, but it IS coming along.  He just snuggles up beside me in bed and off he goes every time.  Can't complain about that.

And last night Jaemin did GREAT at the dentist.  The boy with sensory issues opened his mouth wide, let them clean his teeth and look around and sat in the chair all by himself.  He is such a big boy and he is definitely changing.  He seems to be catching up in a little bit bigger strides now even though in some ways he's a little more reliant on me.  It's give and take and I'll take this.