My baby has a plan!

We didn't get an IEP, but we do have an IEP/504.

I had the meeting with the school (principal, a kindergarten teacher, the special needs coordinator and speech therapist) and after 3 years of speech, he's 80% where he should be, but they're going to keep him in so he can retain the IEP in kindergarten. He didn't qualify in the other areas for an IEP. He is gross and fine motor skill delayed, but not enough by the state to require IEP. He is low/average IQ, and language skills are low, but low enough based on his IQ level to qualify. However, the principal very much seems to be on my side when I explained that I think the IQ is a little false since he can read at the 2nd grade level, but the test doesn't reflect that, making his language further behind. His sensory isn't bad enough and since he doesn't have enough of a gross/fine motor delay they can't do an IEP by state standards. The coordinator thought his stimming was a habit because he didn't do it at all last May while in Korea, but I told her that my theory is that since he is sensory seeking being in a different country with all of the new sights, smells, etc. was filling his need he had no need to stim. The principal said she agreed with my theory. So, they decided he was delayed and does need help, so they worked out a 504 plan and he will get speech and physical therapy during kindergarten as a disability (just during naptime since he no longer takes them). It's so odd to be so happy, but I've seen the difference speech has made for him and not just in the speech area, so I know this will progress him even further. I really, really feel that his sensory disorder is a lot of the problem and if we can help him there, it will help him in the other areas. If only we could get him to color for more than 3-4 minutes.

Anyone who has known Jaemin since the day he came home knows how far he's come. He has surgery to get his adenoids out Monday and the hospital, though not a children's is being wonderfully sensitive to his needs. They actually called again tonight so they can be totally prepared for him to make this as great for him as possible. They said they would meet us when we got there and do everything he needs to be comfortable and not stressed. I love it when people understand the situation is unique and he is unique and special!

I love this kid!!!!

More Bills....ugh!

I got a letter in the mail last night for us setting up the payments for Cole's physicians.  The bill was $364, even after we've already paid some of them and now they're saying it's $2,436.54.  This is correct after going through the rest of our EOBs.  However, when I called to make the first $50 payment they told me we had to now make 10% payments which is $243/month.  YIKES!  Too much!  I asked if there was any discount for us to take money out of our emergency savings to pay this and she said we could write a settlement letter.  I had never heard of this.  Apparently, people write these when they've been turned into a collections agency and can pay off a portion in return for it being squared away with the creditor.  I got the fax number and simply asked if we can either continue paying $50/month or get a discount for taking money from our non HSA savings account.  It may not sound like much, but $243 to leave into our HSA will allow us to pay for dental and all of his bills, possibly, by the end of the year.  I'd rather owe myself than them, but if we don't get a discount it's not worth taking it out of my savings account and $243/month is a lot to expect a family of 7 to pay.  I haven't even had a car loan that high in 12+ years.  I can't afford it.  That's why!

So, I'm hoping this lady named Kim will consider either option.  I'd rather the 10% savings, but would take either because it would really, really help us.  Who knows what next year will bring and I'm sure our out-of-pocket max will be higher than the $6600 it is this year.  That's the trend....it only goes up!

Happy Mother's Day and Happy Birthday

We almost always celebrate Chase's birthday wrapped in with Mother's Day.  I certainly don't mind sharing  with such good company.  I'm very blessed to have these kids.  Everyone of them, though there are there downs, bring something wonderful to the table and our lives.  Cole is very special because he's our first born.  After the loss of our first daughter he was such a welcome to our world and was our world for 3 straight years.  I'm thankful for that time to focus only on him and his heart.  Then, came Chase.  Chase was brought home on Mother's Day, so he will always be my best Mother's Day gift ever!  Kaelin was our first daughter to have and hold.  She was so wanted and waited for in Korea.  Chelsi was the one I wasn't really sure we were going to have.  Brian was on the fence about a 4th, but Cole and I got him talked into just one more.  Jaemin was our surprise!  He wasn't a ooops baby or anything that people call their babies when they accidentally get pregnant.  He was a great surprise.  In the end, 4 were planned, 1 was not, but I wouldn't want life without any one of them.  They each have a gift for me and I love seeing life as we go through it together through them.  We've been through too much together and I hope they always love and appreciate each other for their individual gifts.

Chase is 14 (well tomorrow)!!  He was so excited yesterday to tell me he had grown.  The football coach measures them during weightlifting to track things and he had grown 2 inches.  He's now pushing just under 5' 9".  We were starting to wonder if he was ever going to grow.  He said he wants to be 6'7".  :)  Don't know that that's going to happen, but he says it's possible since the doctor said Cole's growth curve said 5'11" and he ended up being 6'2" and Chase's  growth curve was saying 6'4".  We'll see.  Chase will be a good young man.  He's sweet and kind and, well, nice looking.  Love my middle baby!

Happy Mother's Day to my mother, my grandmothers, my Korean children's foster mothers and their birth mothers.  Without all of these women, we would not be or be who we are.

It was Jaemin's last soccer game too.  He really did enjoy it and wants to play again next year.

Awards and events

I was sad that I could not go to the visitation of a friend's father or the funeral.  We just had too much.  Cole had an appointment yesterday afternoon and then he actually got a school award last night and I did guilt trip him into going a little bit.  I would have given up and was, but I DID really want to go.  He's never gotten any award for anything, so it didn't matter, I really wanted to see it.  It was in Industrial Materials, but it's still an award.  This morning, I had the day off, Chelsi officially got her character trait award at school.  Hers was from September and it was for Respect.  They don't award them monthly for the parents, just the kids and then do the celebration at the end of the year for all of the kids.  There were four per grade since there are four classes per grade.  Then, the school provided donuts afterward.  That was at 8:15 this morning.  At 9 am I ran down to the middle school to watch Kaelin in the talent show.  It started at 8:30, but she asked to be pushed back so I could hopefully do both.  I did make it.  It was rough for her.  She's never done just two girls and I think she got nervous.  She forgot the words or was just afraid.  Her friend carried her through, but I could see the tops of her eyelids getting red.  I know she's getting ready to cry then.  She held it together and finished, but when she sat down she was crying a bit.  One of the teachers and counselor were pretty concerned.  They all really like her.  One of the girls in Chase's class was trying to make her feel better.  I took her out to the cafeteria for a second to remind her that it didn't matter how well she did.  She was brave enough to try in front of the whole middle school.  She should be proud of herself no matter what.  She seemed fine then.  Plus it was Hallelujah.  That's a difficult song!  We didn't get home until 10:30 and Jaemin was tired, so he just played play-doh for the afternoon.  I do have to say they had some pretty talented singers.  One had a really amazing voice singing Love Story.  Her friend was good too, but not quite as good.  What I loved the most was that even though Kaelin kinda choked a bit, her friends loudly cheered her on in the stands and the whole crowd still cheered her on their feet!

My Jaejae

The ENT called today and said the xray showed the swelling on Jaemin's adenoids were 'moderate'.  He said xrays tend to underestimate the swelling, so it's more severe.  He said no doubt Jaemin needs it out.  Not a big deal surgery at all.  It's really kinda like kids getting tubes in their ears.  However, I'm pretty protective over my boy and after the last time he went under anesthesia I have to be.  It was so traumatic for both of us when he woke up.  Enough so that they came and got me much sooner than they had planned because he was so upset.  They said because of his sensory disorder they couldn't or wouldn't do it in their surgery clinic and wanted him to be in a hospital setting. I spent some time calling to find out what each hospital's protocol was on letting parents go back post op.  They all have policy of that the child has to be awake, etc. before a parent can come back.  I explained his hard transition and attachment to us.  I explained his sensory disorder and I explained how important it is that he knows I haven't left him and when you wake up after anesthesia you're so disoriented and scared and that's just everybody.  For him, it's even more of a traumatic experience.  I ended up talking to a lady who said she was over it all and would make an exception to get us back as soon as the tubes were out from surgery.  They're also going to try to allow us to spend as much time with him as possible before they put him out....maybe even until he's out.  I asked her for her name and told her I would hold her to her promise.  She gave me her direct line and said just to call with the date of the surgery and she will make sure to hold to her promises.  I called the doctor back and told them okay and apparently they had been on the phone with the hospital voicing my concerns as well.

I felt so much better.  Jaemin's not very happy he has to go to the doctor, but I've been trying to explain that they will fix his snoring, make his breathing easier and make him feel so much better.  He's a little scared even though he doesn't really understand.  I'm glad it's in less than 2 weeks.  Get it over with.  A couple of days and he'll feel so much better.

I LOVE this boy!

Making Arrangements

We've always been very fortunate to have really good insurance.  But, my government employer, like all other employers, have sent benefits by the wayside.  My insurance being one of them.  Several years ago that benefit began to decline and  the only real alternative for a family this large where they charge by the child was to go into a high deductible plan.  It's better than no insurance.  When the day came and they offered this new plan while it still means quite a bit more out of my paycheck monthly, it also meant if we didn't go to the doctor and max things out (which does happen sometimes).  Most years just hitting your high deductible and saving the max in the HSA is enough to have money left in your HSA for dental, etc. since we have no dental or vision insurance.  However, maxing it out is a big difference.  Years ago it just wasn't like this.  Even Brian's accident didn't cost this much.  He spent 1 1/2 weeks inpatient and then another few weeks inpatient rehab.  We came nowhere near what this surgery cost for Cole.  I miss the days of $600, maybe $1500 for the year.  We expect at least $2000 every year in medical expenses.  An EKG and echo along with the cost of the cardiologist are approximately $1500/year just for Cole if he doesn't have a stress test and MRI.  We did ask if we could come back in October this year since we're maxed out and won't be responsible for more.  One more heart check before he goes back to full-on wrestling would make me feel so much better.

We've been getting all of the bills in more and more and I've been having to go through, match them up by EOB and pay them.  At least 2-3 times for this surgery alone the bills have been incorrect and I've had to call and remind them they cannot bill for certain things and turn around and wait for a revised bill.  Always wait for the correct bill.  They cannot bill for things the insurance says are outside the agreement, but if they get the accounts mixed up they can do it easily, but it is wrong.  I got one bill today that was revised down to $73 from almost $300 after explaining their mix-up.  Then, since it was the facility again I asked for the 15% pay upfront discount.  So I ended up paying $62.  The other bill I got was almost $400 for a couple of the doctors while he was in the hospital.  Apparently, the physicians do not offer a pay upfront discount, so I told them, for the first time in my lucky life, to set up a payment plan.  They agreed to $50/month so I would have enough to pay what I have to as the year rolls on and more bills come in.  I figured this way we could possibly go to the dentist later this year and when my HSA hopefully catches up to all of this I can pay the physicians off at the end of the year.  There are plenty more physicians bills coming in.  Those were just the smaller ones. It feels weird to have medical payments since we never have, but thankfully, I pull so much out of my paycheck that we should be able to pay them off at the end of the year.

There's always worse and prayerfully, this is the last year of maxing out for awhile!

Said goodbye

to a really great person today.  It's sad that you don't see people often enough and it takes losing one before you make any efforts to get together.  Cathy was a beautiful person, inside and out.  She was an awesome mom and incredibly vivacious person.  Her laugh will be with me forever.  After the graveside ceremony her kids, nieces, nephews, etc. released balloons with their messages on them as her song, by Elton John, played.  And they asked us to give a round of applause for her after the song.  It was how she would have wanted it.  She wouldn't have wanted everyone to be so sad. She would have wanted everyone to 'rock on'.
She will very much be missed and I will never forget how much she made me think as these years with cancer progressed.  Her outlook was never less than amazing!