Night of Leisure

No, I didn't drag my camera along.  I didn't know if the boat was going to run or not.  But after 4 months of owning it and working on it, it's officially running.  We all took a nice ride on the river tonight.  Very cool, enjoyable evening and the kids really enjoyed it.  And since Cole has his boating license we let him drive a bit.  He really liked that.  Chelsi and Kaelin just watched the scenery pass by.  I've always loved river rides.  It's so relaxing.  I loved seeing Jaemin in his little life jacket for the first time.  So cute!

But, we all have to turn in early because tomorrow is Chase's first football game and Cole's heartwalk.  Busy day, but good things going on. 

Could have been worse

I was prepared for the worst.  They said don't let him eat from midnight until they took him about 11:00 today and I was WORRIED.  We brought the kids to school, got an estimate on my car, went and got moo cow to bring to the hospital and picked up grandma for mom's support.  We got there plenty early, but registration was slow because the line was long, so it turned out we walked in just on time.  They took us back there quick enough.  I repeated my concerns about his attachment and him going out after he's taken from me.  I have to say he cried and I almost cried, but they tried hard. 

The anesthesiologist took my concerns seriously and tried to get Jaemin to trust him.  He played with him and got close hoping it would help.  Jaemin got to the point he couldn't walk without looking drunk after he had his meds, but he still very well knew what was going on.  He was very upset when the nurse anesthetist took him.  She was so excited he was Korean.  She is from the Phillipines and was saying how cute he is.  Everybody stops to tell us how cute he is though.  The anesthesiologist asked about drinking after he woke up in recovery.  I told him that because he's allergic to apples he couldn't have any juice and I felt more comfortable just giving him water.  I asked him if he wanted the sippy cup to bring back there, but he said he was just going to have them get me to give him a drink. 

It was maybe an hour later and they called us back.  The doctor hadn't even come to talk to us yet, so I was a little confused.  They actually brought us back before he woke up.  He still had the cannula in his nose for O2.  The nurse lowered the rail so I could get in bed with him.  Then, they went to get the doctor to talk to us.  I was so happy that they made that exception for us.  The last time was so horrible when he woke up.  I wasn't there and it freaked him out.  He woke up so calmly this time.  I talked to him when he stirred and he was fine.  I drank his water and we got to go home.  Boy was he excited to eat some fries.  He wouldn't share with grandma.  He was not going to share with anyone.  He even ate some of my burger, drank my Sprite and then ate some of grandma's frosty.  He was a hungry little man. 

He's a tough guy.  I don't know how many times I told him how good of a boy he is.  He really is a great boy.  He hardly fussed considering how long he'd gone without food and drink.  As long as he had mom, paci and cow he was cool with it.  The doctor said there's no damage from the reflux.  He looked perfectly normal in both places and we even have the pictures from it all.  Now, we just wait for the biopsies to come back and see if he's having allergic reactions to something or if there's infection in the linings.  We don't know what's next at this point.  Especially, if nothing comes back.  Pulmonologist is where we're supposed to go after this is ruled out since the reflux is causing respiratory infections.  We'll just keep taking it day by day and get him figured out. 

So, there's the day.  I was pretty tired, but he did SO well and I love this little boy so much.  BTW, they had the cutest dinosaur wrap on his arm board.  I wish I would have taken my camera to show here.  I wish I could find some for him.  So cute on my sweet guy.

The definition of 'emergency'

Definition of EMERGENCY

1

: an unforeseen combination of circumstances or the resulting state that calls for immediate action 

 

So, based on this if it was a medical emergency someone would receive prompt action, right?  I think the hospital needs to know this.  Eye Roll

 

Jae has an EGD/sigmoidoscopy tomorrow to find out what is going on that he still has acid reflux.  It was supposed to be at 8 am, which is bad enough for an almost 2 year old that doesn't get to eat or drink in the morning, plus do bowel cleansing.

They called today to say they had an emergency and he had to be pushed back to 11 am.  First of all...really you want me to keep him from eating without screaming until then.  Are you nuts?  And second, 'emergency' by the above definition means they shouldn't have known early today that they need to do this tomorrow.  Makes no sense to me.  The lady proceeds to tell me that that means I don't have to get there so early now, so apparently I'm supposed to be happy.  Well, I'd much rather get up super early to have a happy toddler than one that, for good reason, is going to meltdown.  I informed her that I will be there earlier than our time because I won't know what else to do with him at that point and if I have to deal with it so do they.  They better not think they're going to get away with taking him from me before he's loopy.  I let them do it last time and I already informed them it was not good for his attachment and security and they would not do that again.  Tomorrow, will probably not be a good day to cross this mommy who's way protective over this baby boy.

So far, tonight is fine.  We got through giving him the magnesium citrate.  I got lemon and he LOVED it.  I did the enema like I was supposed to and he's now resting in mommy's bed.  Special treat for my sweet baby.  I might get him up before midnight and give him a little snack yogurt.  Poor guy's been on a soft diet all day.  So, of course, when they said I could always reschedule I told them no way.  My big eater has already had a crappy diet today and I wasn't putting him through that again.  Tomorrow morning will be a play it by ear after the kids go to school.  Whatever it takes to make him happy and eventually I'll just have to hear him cry and he'll probably hit me because that's what he does when he's super ticked.  I'm anxious for tomorrow afternoon when this is all over and then next week they can get us the biopsy results and let us know what's going on....hopefully.  

Pray for my baby please.  I hope it goes perfectly tomorrow and he tolerates everything well.

8 years later

On Jeju Island a sweet baby girl was born 8 years ago.  We were lucky enough to be come her parents.  She's funny and sweet and very caring.  Though, a little ditzy.  Gotta love my Binah.  Happy birthday sweetie.  I'm so glad you had a such a great day.  You never stopped smiling tonight as you opened your cards and got all your phone calls.

And Lois, here is her trying to open the card that doesn't open.  She finally ripped it trying to open it.  The boys thought I was going to be mad at her, but I had to just start laughing.  She was trying so hard to open that card.

Goonies, doughnuts and this and that.

I don't know if I'm just getting old, my allergies and asthma is getting to me or the nights up with a specific man that has me so tired.  I've been going to sleep at 9 the past two nights and sleeping late...thanks to my husband.  And, I still don't feel terribly recharged, but still so much to do.  After running to 3 stores Saturday to grocery shop, get the remaining supplies school has since asked for and looking to replace hubby's sandals with some new cheapies we decided to go swimming.  It's still stinkin' hot, but after that rain it felt a little cool.  I sat and watched, but the kids did NOT mind the cooler water.  Thank goodness Lois lets us swim.  Keeps the kids busy and saves a ton of money.  It's really good therapy for Brian too.  He felt every muscle in his legs last night and they were tired.  He could use that therapy a little more often. You kind of forget about the importance of ongoing therapy this far out of the accident and with life just being so busy.

Kaelin came to bed with me and watched tv last night after the two littlest went to bed.  Brian and the big guys were watching something in the basement.  She had to turn off the tv and put me to bed because I fell asleep.  Today consisted of more laundry and house cleaning.  Then, I got the bright idea to make doughnuts the way we used to at my grandma's house when I was little.  It was just a yeast roll recipe, but the kids LOVED them.  Super cheap to do.

I taped Goonies for the kids too and they sat and watched that this evening after dinner.  They actually liked it.  It was iconic in our time.  And tonight I have a kid with a tooth ache.  Not sure if it's really a tooth problem since he just went to the dentist in June, but I think it may be more sinus.  He can't nail it down to a location; it's top and bottom.  So, we're trying antibiotics and decongestant and tylenol.  See how it goes.  He's also trying some heel cups and arch supports we had to look for at Walmart yesterday.  He has a lot of heel pain after he is on his feet a lot.  I'm really hoping this helps since we can't afford another specialist right now.  We'll see on that too.

I'm trying to adjust myself to cutting back even further than we do on a normal basis.  I'm hoping my dream of going part time may come true soon, even if not for long.  We're going to start making our own bisquick mix and other little things.  That's a good thing to do regardless of if I get to do it or not.  I'm praying about part time.  The specialist appointments and keeping up with the kids has just really gotten hard working full time.  It's not that bad without all that, but I've felt somewhat overwhelmed the past month or so with so many appointments and things to keep up with to keep everyone healthy, yet get through normal life. 

I'm really nervous about this week.  I have to get Kaelin's cake made tomorrow, after work, for her birthday on Tuesday.  I'd like to pop up to just one of Chase's football practices too, so tomorrow night would be it.  I have to try to get Chase to the dentist in the next day or two if he doesn't start feeling better.  Then, Tuesday, of course, is Kae's birthday, so that takes precedence over everything.  Wednesday I have to get the Heart Walk money dropped off for the American Heart Association.  And Wednesday I get to start getting little man through his enema for Thursday's procedure.  I'm praying Wednesday and Thursday aren't terribly hard, but I don't exactly understand this soap enema thing, so I'm awaiting further instructions from the GI.  And praying his anesthesia isn't as hard on him this time, like last.  I should feel pretty darn good Friday, but I'm thinking we're supposed to do something then too, but I can't remember what.  See I'm losing it.  I need a break.  I need an assistant.  :)

Starting something you don't want to continue

Gosh, I hope this doesn't continue on, but it just seemed okay for one night.  :)

Poor J was tired by 7:30 tonight.  I'm sure it's just because I had to give him yet another dose of benadryl for his hives.  At this point, I'm no longer sure what's causing them.  I took him to his room, gave him paci and puppy and cow and then laid with him and sang.  As soon as I got up he started to repeat something I couldn't understand.  I thought maybe he didn't really want to go to bed, so I let him out and he went to my room.  He pointed to the bed and wanted up.  So, I put him in bed and left.  I can't believe he went right to sleep without me there with him.  But, he did.

Then, Cole decided to sleep in Jaemin's room so he didn't have to hear Chase snore on his first night before school.  This bed exchange is confusing.  I had to make sure to tell Brian who was where when he got home from football practice.

Personal Exploration of an Adult Adoptee

First Person Plural is the personal exploration of Deann Borshay Liem to find her Korean identity.  I'm not sure it was completely uncommon for things to work the way it did in her case.  I've heard, not countless, but other stories on the internet from those early years of Korean adoption where identities were exchanged in order to complete a promised adoption.  For her, she was able to track down and still find her original identity and birth family, but I wonder about others.  Maybe some accepted who they were told they were?

I want to believe that with all the laws that have changed over all these years that this no longer happens, but it's hard to say if that belief is true or if we'll ever know.  I want to believe that what we were told about our children is true, mostly so they don't have to be confused by their own history.  Your own, personal, story shouldn't be puzzle pieces to put together because of adults.  I can't help but watch this video and slightly wonder what the birthfamilies of our three children are like and wonder if we'll meet them?  I pray that should our children choose to that their prayers are answered and that they will allow us to participate.  I already feel love towards their birthfamilies as if they are an extension of our family.

This is part of the reason I want to visit Korea as a family in a few years, so badly.  I feel that visiting beforehand, before they may choose to investigate their beginnings and having an understanding of their birthlands may make their experiences a little easier.  I want us to have this experience together first, as a whole family.  I know we could go to Disney or Hawaii as our one big family vacation and for a lot less money, but this just seems so important to me and something that we can't put off until it never happens.  Does that makes sense?  I hope that because I ask from time-to-time how the girls (since they're older) feel or if they I have questions I pray there's not that miscommunication or misunderstanding that makes them afraid to discuss their Korean-ness or their Korean families.

If you have almost an hour to watch this video, do. It's very interesting and gives you a lot to think about, especially if you are a family member to an adoptee.  It gives you some insight into how they may, one day, feel.