GAK

Gak making.  We saw a show where a family made some and I thought that might be fun for the kids.  Turns out it's extremely cheap.  $.80 worth of glue, some drops of food coloring and a little Borax.  The kids had a really great time making it and playing with it in their hands.

Happy Birthday Kaelin

I hope my girl had a great 9th birthday.  Love you Kaelin.

I ran out of icing, but did try my hand at this cake.

Back to work

I'm so proud of myself today.  Though it was another day of feeling down about my friend situation, I picked up the new power unit to the kids' computer and it worked.  I hooked everything back up right after I took the insides apart and it all went back together and worked!  I was so excited to see the fans running again.  For $43, the computer is working again.  Much better than buying a new one.  On the downside, I think I'm going to have to transfer another $100 from savings to make the September payments.  I gave my official notice to my boss yesterday that I plan to come back fulltime October 17th.  Stinks, but it is reality and we're going through the savings much quicker than I ever anticipated.  It's just not safe or anything close to it anymore.  I will always be thankful for the year I got to spend bonding with Jaemin though.  That's what makes it feel not quite so bad.

Reflections Back in Time

Even though, I'm really bad about dwelling on the past, well at least in those circumstances where I'm mad at myself for wasting money some how, I'm just reflecting back here.  I came across this post a couple of years ago.  http://chaostimes5.blogspot.com/2008/12/life-changes-and-rearranges.html  It's really hard to believe so much has changed since then.  Almost 3 years later I thought my life had changed so much at that point, I had no idea that just a few months from that post I'd have a 5th, unexpected child and pay for yet another adoption.  Who would have ever guessed?

I've been kind of in a pity party stage about things lately because stress with money has been adding up.  We're not broke....yet...but it seems every time I get a handle on things something else breaks or happens.  Today it was the grill and yesterday it was the computer.  I had to order a $43 power supply and am HOPING it's not the motherboard.  We'll see.  I don't have any idea on the grill.  Brian said some sort of deflectors were broke.  Uh...they were rusted completely through and lying on the burners.  This morning the phones kept going out and the phone company said if, by chance, it they thought it was on our side we'd have to pay.  I told them not to even bother looking at it.  We'll just have to cancel our service.  Can't afford ONE MORE THING.

BUT THEN....I came across the above post and I realized that I had lost my attitude for being positive and I'm going to get it back.  I'm going to try to be positive no matter what.  I'm NOT going to let the devil win.  I'm going to continue to believe that if we keep doing everything to get through that God will continue to provide and help us.  And most of all, I'm going to try to remember to just breath and take note that we are okay and it's NOT THAT BAD!

So here it is, I'm thankful:

• Cole is still on the same valve for 14 years and while it will fail soon, it hasn't yet.
• Brian is still able to work and while his feet burn daily and by the minute, he is strong enough not to complain and lay that on me as well.
• All in all, the rest of us are still healthy.
• We're still paying bills on time, even if it is out of savings most of the time.

MUSCLES!

Jaemin decided to put his Diego undies on after his shower tonight. Then he brought me some lovely striped socks to wear.  It looked so cute, but so 70s.  So, I was trying to get a picture of him flexing in his cute ensemble.  He would not hold still.  So the girls showed him their guns so he would flex his.  I did doctor his picture.  Hey, there are some sickos out there and they aren't going to see my baby like that.

The big guns!

The not so big guns.

And the will eventually be big guns.

Playing games with daddy, but we always have a smile for mom.

Sick Stay Home Day

It was my scheduled day off anyways and poor Jaemin happens to have some sort of virus, so looks like I would have been home anyways.  He's running a 102/103 temp and very tired.  We went to the doctor so I could get my new allergy mix of shots after we dropped the big kids off at school.  Poor Jaemin had only been up since right before 7 am when he fell asleep on the drive home at about 8:30.  He didn't even wake up for breakfast.  He slept on the couch next to me and was in one of those heavy sleeps.  Even the phone ringing didn't wake him up when his dad called to check on him.

I finally woke him up to eat something and yep...he's sick, so he's getting special treatment.  I had made some yummy chocolate chip cookies yesterday so he ate that and some strawberry yogurt for breakfast.  I decided since the big kids are all back in school it was time for routine again, as long as he can handle it since he's sick anyways.  So, we've run through our letter and sight word book and he got to fingerpaint.  What fun this time.  Last time he really wasn't that interested, but this time he really was.  He even let me put paint all over his hands so he could make handprints for me.  He was all about stamping his hand all over the papers after that.  He was pretty darn proud when I hung his work of art on the fridge!  This stuff, I love!

4 kids, 3 schools

And they all 4 survived their first day.  It was Cole's 1st day of high school and Chelsi's first day of kindergarten.  And mom survived a morning of dropping off one to daycare, 2 to elementary school, 1 to middle school and 1 to high school.  Hopefully, this will be a great year for all!

Oh poop!

I won't go into any details, but yesterday and today have been bad days for me.  So, after promising anything Jaemin likes or anything I could think of (including candy, tv, playing downstairs, gum, etc.) I told Jaemin he couldn't sleep in my room anymore unless he started wearing underwear.  Now first, you have to understand I wouldn't be that cruel to him if he weren't ready, but he's 110% ready, just scared.  He holds his pee for hours!  Yesterday I put him in underwear all day after he'd slept for 11 hours and woke up dry.  He barely wet after nap because he didn't wake up enough to make it to the potty, but he finished there.  No big deal.  Later, though, he hid in the pantry and peed on the floor because he was pooping in his underwear.  I dumped his underwear out and showed him how he dirtied his Diego underwear.

Then last night at bed time I told him he had to sleep in his bed since he wasn't pooping and peeing on the potty.  I told him if he did he could sleep with me again.  He woke up screaming at midnight and about 1/2 hour later came in to tell me he had to pee on potty.  He went a bit and I kept him in my room.  This morning he was dry again, so he peed on the potty before going to grandpa's house.  I told grandpa that if Jae stayed dry he could sleep in my room again.  When I picked him up after lunch he said he let Jaemin run around without pants and he'd finally went on the potty right before I got there...for the first time.  So, he easily holds it for 5 hours.

I put him down for nap and when he woke up I told him he had to wear underwear again, yeah he was still dry.  He went pee, but wasn't happy about it.  I reminded him that if he pooped, since he always poops in the afternoon, he could sleep in my room if he did it on the potty for the first time.  He played awhile and I was waiting for him to go hide again, but he came over and stopped, grabbed himself and said 'oh, oh'.  I ran him to the potty after I realized he hadn't gone yet and left him to some privacy.  You know even little kids need privacy for this.  He called me in not two minutes later and boy was I shocked when I saw he'd pooped in there.

I cheered so loud the kids could hear downstairs.  Jaemin gave me a high five and when I told him he could sleep with me I got a great big "YAY!"  I gave him a bunch of M&Ms for that one and then he called his grandpa and grandmas to tell them.  He is SO proud of himself.  He got to wear shorts over his undies to go outside and really thought he was big stuff.  I know it may not last, but it was a great day for him and I really felt like I was important to someone when I was finally the prize to be won!  I love you too my Jaemin!

This is Jaemin telling me he pooped at bath time.

He really enjoyed bath time tonight. 

One last summer day

Yesterday was the last day of summer, at home, for the kids.  They are still off Monday and Tuesday, but they will go to grandma's.  I guess technically, that means it was my last day of summer WITH the kids.  I hadn't checked the weather yesterday morning, but it looked so nice out and wasn't 100 degrees for once.  I looked up the pool entry fees for the city pools an hour away and found one with diving boards and waterslides and an area for little kids.  Perfect.  For $17 there was something for all 5 kids.

We get about half way there and it starts to rain.  M checked the radar for us, since I don't have iPhone and said it looked like a pretty good chance.  We got to the park and it was not raining anymore, but they were closing down.  The kids were pretty sad.  So, I knew of an indoor one they had that wasn't as nice, but better than nothing right?  While it didn't entertain the big kids as much, the 3 youngest really enjoyed the indoor pool.  Jaemin went down the baby slide a couple of times and Chelsi went down the slide too many times to count!  Kaelin went down the big slide and the baby slide and Jaemin could not stay off the lazy river.  He could just float on through with his floatie on. Chelsi was too short for the height of the pool, except the baby area, so she stayed there or hung on my back in the deeper pool.

It was still worth the $14 it cost to go and spend my last afternoon with them.  Luckily, I'd made supper yesterday morning and Brian just had to heat it up so it was ready when we got home.  Jaemin was so worn out from playing so hard at the pool that he fell asleep on the way home.  He was more than happy to wake up and eat the yummy past with broccoli and sausage I'd made though.

Now, summer's over and I'm officially broke for the month and it's only half over.  Good thing the kids go back to school.  I won't even get into my worries about next month or the month after.  I'm focusing on the one summer I got to enjoy with my kids because I don't think I'll be able to make it last past this year.  The economy's just too tough.  Enjoy what you have now and the time with your kids....it's always shorter than you would like.  Oh and I wish I had pictures of yesterday, but I guess my camera had turned itself on inside my purse and the battery was dead when we got there.

Probably close to a year ago, I blogged about these photos and my cute little frames I bought for $1 and how I collaged them on my wall in the living room.  I hope to add to it one day, if we return.  Now, our girls talk often of going back to Korea and the trip we hope to take.  Jaemin doesn't ever mention Korea, but even at 3, I know Kaelin did.  The other day I was sitting on the couch with him and he points at the pictures on the wall and said, clear as day, "I want to go there".  I said "Korea?" and he said "yeah, Kueah".  Then, he asked about the suitcases in my closet and what they were for and I said they were to go to Korea and he said "I want to go to Kueah".  I think there is such a thing about a biological pull to certain things.  I'm not saying biology as in he's blood related to his family there so he wants to go.  I'm saying there are certain attractions that are innate to us and we feel the need to be there even if we don't know why; it's just biologically there, much the same that boys are biologically attracted to playing with trucks and I crave swimming in water.

New additions

We have some new additions to the family. We are welcoming Shotgun and Camo...yeah the boys are hoping they will hunt with them,b ut they were free, so oh well.  Now we have as many outdoor pets as we do children. Today, we added two miniature beagle pups. We still have our Jynxy boy and he has come a long way since we took him in. These guys have been well cared for and literally follow the big boys around like puppies. They love to play...so we won't be having to teach them like we did Jynx. They're so cute. We did have to give them a flea dip because they were covered. So after 1 1/2 hours of careful scrubbing they look great. They have their kitty collars on them, flea collars on them and little name tags we got for about $2 each on Ebay. Jynx now has one too for that price. Not that he's ever brave enough to leave the house.

Oh to see the boys this happy is wonderful!

Fun mom

I have a hard time fighting with my conscience.  I really struggle sometimes.  It wants me to be a cheapskate all the time and do the very responsible thing and sometimes I just don't want to.  I'm not talking about going crazy and blowing any significant amount of money on nothing or eating out every night or anything remotely crazy like that.  Yeah, I see that as crazy for us.  But, I wanted to be the fun mom for once.  I seems all the other moms on facebook are doing this or doing that and it all adds up to $$ we can't spend. 

So here we are with school closing in on us and I wondered if I'd look back at the end of the summer and wished I had done more.  It's been SO hot, so sometimes we were just plain limited by that.  To do much of anything substantial requires driving a couple of hours away which ends up costing at least another $30 in gas to travel.  We just can't afford that.  So much of days off this summer have been spent in doctors offices doing catch up for physicials, dental and ortho appointments.  Fun huh?  The other days we go to Lois' pool and swim while poor Lois is at work.  Today it finally rained, so while we sure weren't going to complain, it left us with no pool.  So, I decided to splurge and take them to the movies.  I hadn't taken my own kids since Cole was little and the original Toy Story was out.  Long time ago, huh?  It was cheap enough for a matinee and they had good deals on snacks, so I told them to load up.  The Smurfs was the only thing playing that all 5 kids were allowed to watch, but they were happy to be going.  For $2.50 they each got a soda, popcorn and candy.  Jaemin, much to my surprise did really well.  He sat in his own little seat with his little snackbox on his lap and enjoyed the movie.  For 2 hours I had all 5 kids sitting quietly still.  It was pretty nice.  It's a so so movie...for adults anyways, but the kids enjoyed it. 

Jaemin apparently listened to the movie too because I asked him what color a smurf was, when we got home, and he said 'bue'.  Smart boy!  Nice close to my summer with the kids.  Even if this is the only summer I ever get like this, I have to say it was absolutely worth every penny, or rather no pennies and no money, to do it.  I will never forget this summer and how nice it was to stay home and fix their lunch for them, sometimes their breakfast and drag them everywhere with me.  I thank God that it was possible even if only for a short while.

Prayers to Korea

I've been thinking about Seoul and other areas of Korea a lot since the massive flooding and mudslides.  I've especially been thinking about my kids' agency workers, foster mothers and 2 of my children's birth families.  It weighed heavily, earlier this week, when I read that Gwangju had been hit with the mudslides and people were dead.  I'm praying that Jae and Chelsi's birth families are safe and healthy.