Our little fixer and wannabe

Our tractor has been broken for years.  The chain came off a long time ago and we just never had time to take it apart and get inside it to fix.  Chase has been working on it for a bit and got the chain fixed and then the steering went out.  But, he continues to work.  :)  Jaemin was watching big brother

Baby steps, dogs, and fun medical stuff (not)

Then Jaemin.  Poor baby has been sick for a couple of weeks now and wakes up coughing so hard.  Last night was actually a decent night of sleep for him and us.  And he wasn't able to scratch the heck out of his ear so we didn't wake up to change his sheets again this morning like most.  We moved the way his bed was facing for him and mittened his scratching hand and he actually slept pretty well.  He woke up in a great mood!  Last night I dropped something when I was holding him and I said "uhoh" and he quickly repeated me.  Now he's totally into saying "uhoh" all the time.....in the cutest little voice.  He's also been very kissy kissy the last couple of nights.   This morning, though, he realized that sometimes giving kisses gets your way so he tried to give me a kiss so I would let him have the remote.  Sorry baby that doesn't work for everything, but I'll take the kisses anyways.  He's starting to give in and really love on us.  We love that!!!  In the end, slowly, we planned the 4 older kids, one by one.  Our last little man, Jaemin, was a surprise of every sort and everyone of us are so thankful for those unplanned babies!

Next, not so fun thing, is Dash......M's dog.  While he can be fun he has decided that Cole is playing rough with him whether he wants to or not and now chases him and act like he's going to bite.  Don't think he will, but he has Cole believing it.  You gotta settle down with dogs.  Really Dash did well Thursday night and last night, but this morning Cole took him out at 6:30 and by 8 he pooed on the floor.  Okay, my kids haven't even done that.  So, we Oxycleaned the floor and then I Lysoled it for good measure.  I moved him upstairs to the hardwood after that.  He'll be easier to take out then anyways and closer for night time so he doesn't get scared.  He probably just misses mommy and daddy.  :)

This weekend hasn't really even started yet, but so much fun.  Some parts, anyways.  I got to end yesterday with my first, baseline, mammogram.  Since I have a sebacious cyst they decided to ultrasound it as well.  Apparently, these are supposed to be filled with clear fluid and mine has "matter" in it.  They're not too concerned yet.  It's been there for over 2 years and hasn't changed and it's not completely uncommon to have some matter, they're going to repeat in 6 months to check for changes since I've never had it looked at by anyone other than the regular doc.  And as my first time to the mammogram world...so fun!  Can I roll my eyes here?  They squish what little you have and then squish some more while you're half way on your tip toes holding your breath, half naked.  Pretty sight, I'm sure.  But, don't have to do that one again for 5 years!

Paying for adoption?

Okay, so I know people wonder, and Brian's friend outright asked not so long ago, how we keep paying for adoptions.  I know I, for one, always thought adoption was for the rich.  That's how the movies portrayed families/parents anyways.  I just assumed we couldn't, which was part of the reason it took us so long.  It took me a long time to take the time to sit and research enough to know that it was possible if you really were creative and tried hard.

So, yes, we make well under $100,000/year with our two incomes combined...think less than 50...after taxes.  We have no credit card debt.  We've always bought only what we could pay for at the end of the month and when we paid off our cars the last time we intended to never get a car loan again, so we have pretty old vehicles, minus our primary ride.  Granted, if some of them died now we might have to get a loan, but again can't afford that, so we'd have to get creative yet again.  So with only our house to pay for, we've saved every penny and dime we could over the past 7-8 years in anticipation of each adoption, with the exception of the last; since you couldn't prepare for that.  So Brian was right in telling him part of it was because his wife is careful with our money.

The other things we've done is sold a pool table we had years ago, cash out our life insurance and buy term instead, a small amount was through fundraising and we applied for grants like crazy each time.   We were also loaned a portion of the money for the first two adoptions by family which we paid off with our tax credit the first year.  The first two adoptions were estimated to cost a little under $20,000 for everything including finalization.  We managed for $15,000 or less due to grants and fee reductions (you do have to ask)  since they were special needs adoptions and our income and circumstances qualified.  The last was estimated to cost closer to $40,000 and I think we ended up closer to $30,000 in the end with a gift for part of it, the rest of our savings for part of it and a large portion was refinanced and cashed out of our house.  We took all we could out of our house, to 80% anyways.   We do, I guess, have a loan for our adoption, so to speak, but we felt this was worth everything to do.  In the end, our loan rate was lower and we saved in interest what we borrowed for the adoption....win, win to us!

The point being, we came out debt free as far as adoptions go.  We have no savings left, but every dime has always been worth it.  We have always been in the habit of being very frugal; aka cheap!  It's actually become the lifestyle over time.  But, without being this way, a family on our income could not afford adoption.  So, can it work for you?  Yes!  If you want something you just have to work for it.  It was stressful a lot of times.  We had no idea where some of the money was going to come from.  The first adoption was 12 months, start to finish.  The 2nd was 6 months and the 3rd was 2 months.  We've never had a lot of time to come up with money, but it was always there through all these avenues, when we needed it.  I guess, in ways, I can't truly explain how we afforded the adoptions.  Things just worked out the way they were supposed to because we followed Him and His plans for us.

So if you believe in God and believe this is what He wants for you, believe He will bring you through it.  If you don't believe so much, then try and make it work.  You may just end up believing more firmly in God, in the end.




Lisa

Big brother is So sweet!

Apparently, Chase had to write on why he is special, in his daily journal for 4th grade.  His teacher wrote, "You are very kind!", so I had to make sure I had time to read it.  He wrote "I am special because my dog got ran offer and still lived.  I have a pet turtle and lizard.  I have a big front yard to play football and baseball.  I have two sisters and one brother from Korea.  I have a PS2 and a PS1"

Now, I'm not sure about this turtle and lizard.  Lord knows he chases enough of them down and we do find them from time to time stashed in buckets and other little houses they've made outside, but I wasn't aware of these two.  :)  I asked him why he wasn't special because he had an older brother and he simply told me "he's not adopted from Korea, they make me special"  It is sweet that he thinks himself special because of them.  I wonder how many adoptees have had a sibling, biological of the parents, who thought so much of their siblings.  He's always the one most quiet about those kind of feelings, so it's sweet that he wrote it.

Proud mommy.

The days of summer are ending..

The kids are in school.  The pool has been taken down, we've had our last summer barbeque; even the weather is slowly cooling for the year.  The kids are able to play outside more due to the coolness and it seems more peaceful as summer settles.  Fall is busy with soccer and football, but it's a different atmosphere and sometimes doesn't seem quite as rushed.  The house is quiet and it's unusual here.  The older kids are outside cleaning up with their dad and playing while the littlest are napping quietly in their beds.  I actually have a moment or two for thoughts, that is rare.  The house is in order after we cleaned, but we know it will not stay that way.  I'm still working on letting that go as the kids get older and it gets harder and the house is more crowded with 7 of us here.  Sometimes, though, if only for a day, it's good to be in order.

Next week it will just be me and the younger 3.  The big boys are going with their dad to the cabin for a day to fish and have fun.  We could go, but the idea of 5 kids and a dog doesn't sound that relaxing.  Maybe once Jaemin is a little older or can at least walk we'll go.  Probably next year.  I don't know that it would be too easy bringing Dash and keeping track of him.  But, we need to dogsit for a few days.  The kids and I will try to do things just the 4 of us.  The girls can have some fun with, just, mom while little man sleeps.  I think we're all looking forward to a little reprieve from each other.  There's no getting away from anyone in this size house.  :)

Our summer feels like it came and went so quickly.  It started with Jaemin arriving and is ending with him feeling like he's been here and we've known him forever.  He feels like he was always meant to be here and always been part of the plan.  I haven't felt as much peace about these aspects of my life as I do with him here.  I think a part of me, somehow, always knew there was another child out there for us.  I was always saving my leave at work and money in case we got this kind of call or decided to adopt again down the road.  Though, I knew deep down we really wouldn't adopt again without a little push.  That call in March was our push.  It was all we needed to feel complete.  I always wondered how moms and dads knew their family was complete.  Was it truly a gut feeling that they instinctively knew or was it giving up because they really didn't think more children (no matter how they come) were possible?  I think that's why I always said we were complete.  I felt that if God wanted us to have more it would happen and it wouldn't be difficult or hard, but he would make it clear.  It wasn't immediately clear when we found out about Jaemin, but it was shortly after.

Today, I see the miracles it took for Jaemin to be with us.  If Brian hadn't done so well after his accident, Korea wouldn't have allowed Jaemin to come to us.  If the accident had been any later than it was we wouldn't known enough of what the outcome was going to be to accept the referral.  If that person in our life hadn't given us some of the money to complete the adoption or we couldn't have refinanced the house for some of the adoption money we wouldn't have been able to bring Jaemin home either.  It all worked out as if everything were happening on a timeline specifically orchestrated in advance.  I can't think back and think of anything that I would change.  That's when you know it's completely right and you followed God's promting to do what He has determined for you.

Lisa

Are you a carrier?

I am.  :)

It always looked like such a yuppie thing to do, years ago, to me.  When our first daughter came home 6 years ago she came home with a carrier.  I thought, okay, I'll try this out.  It hurt, she hated it, I quit!  Then when our 2nd daughter came home 3 years ago I'd read how good it is for them to be carried more to help with bonding.  I tried the hip hammock shortly.  It hurt my hips and shoulders....exactly what it wasn't supposed to do.  I then got a Baby Hawk and loved it.  It was very comfortable.  It was the kind you tie and I got very good at getting baby on my back and getting it wrapped around me and her all by myself.  But, by the time she was 2 I thought it would be easier to have buckles and she still liked being carried in the "backpack" as she called it, so I sold my Baby Hawk and got an Ergo.  I've had it every since.  I carried her until she was about 3.  She would bring it to me and tell me "backpack".  I stuffed it in the van so we'd have it with us and apparently that's where I left it.

When we found out we were having another baby I happened to find it back.  So glad I still had it.  Jaemin loves to be carried.  He feels very safe when we're out and about and he knows no one will take him from me if I wear him.  I swear it's his favorite place to sleep too.  If we go to Walmart around nap time, he goes on my front and sleeps through most of the shopping.  If I'm doing dishes in the evening he goes on my back.  Sometimes he sleeps and sometimes he doesn't.  Tonight he slept the whole time I cleaned the kitchen.  Sometimes he gets so excited just at the sight of me getting it out because he thinks we're going somewhere.  I even wore him at my sister's wedding...yep in my strapless gown.  Hey, the gowns were champaigne with black sashes and the black belt on the carrier happened to hit me exactly where the sash was and the carrier is khaki (with bugs).  :)  He was a happy little camper all day at the wedding and all night at the dance.  He went on my back and away we went.

Never in a million did I see me being one of those moms walking into a store wearing a baby.  Always seemed sort of hippyish.  :)  But, it's SO much easier.  I have to get things done sometimes.  With 5 kids and working full-time, no house cleaner or cook (except Brian and I), we have to get things done ourselves.  The carrier allows me to hold Jaemin, pat his bottom or his feet like he likes, give him hugs, etc. while I'm doing other things.  I probably wouldn't have been so against them if I'd known how comfortable a good one could be.  And....I still get hugs this way.  When Jaemin's on my back he grabs my sides with his hands and gives me hugs.  That's so much better than him standing at the gate while I do dishes and just watching.

Lisa

HAD TO MAKE ONE MORE POST

JAEMIN HUGGED ME!!!  A real hug!  He's not been feeling well the past week.   His teeth have really been hurting him, but today the one that was trying to come through did and he was in a much better mood.  Brian and I have been up with him at least 4 times every night for the past week and sometimes he's up for awhile.  He would just cry and cry even after medicine to make him feel better.  I felt so bad for him.  Tonight I was kissing the girls goodnight and I had him on my lap.  He laid his head against my chest while I was on Chelsi's bed and really snuggled in.  So I took him to his bedroom next.  Usually, we listen to music and I just hold him in his blanket for awhile until he relaxes enough to go to sleep.  He doesn't usually want to directly face us.  Tonight he wanted nothing but to directly face me.  He put his arms up on my shoulders and laid his head down.  I squeezed him with a little hug and he squeezed back.  He kept doing it until he fell asleep.  Nights like this I could just hold onto him forever.  He just made me want to cry because it was what I've been waiting for and working for and wanting for 3 1/2 months.  He really returned love.  He wasn't playing a game, he was loving back.  I think with him not feeling well and us being up with him at all hours and taking him to bed, etc. he decided to trust us.  Jaemin absolutely made my entire night!  I was really starting to worry a bit.  He just missed his foster mother so much and I wasn't sure he'd trust us.  It just seemed to take so long compared to the girls.  He's really getting there now.  He's become a momma's boy and likes to cuddle so much more than ever and I LOVE it!

Nothing is better in a momma's heart than her little boy.  Jaemin is my little man and I love him so much!

Lisa