This is not going to be popular, I'm sure. But, this is my blog and my opinion. Though I'm not that strongly opinionated on a lot of things, this one I am. BECAUSE IT'S ALL ABOUT THE KIDS, NOT THE PARENTS WANTING KIDS. And some of this I've wrestled with, but because I feel it's right in my heart, I leave it alone and remember it's right.
1) You're already deep in debt (credit card, etc.) and you want to pursue an expensive adoption. Now, I'm not talking about you have a house loan and a car or you want to go through foster care which is free. If you're already having trouble making necessary payments and are just getting by, maybe you should hold off until you're in a better situation. Finances are stress...children can add to that stress. Who am I lying to...they do. And I mean that in the most loving way. :)
2) Your husband is NOT on board. Is it okay to talk about it over and over again...sure. As long a you're BOTH talking. As long as there is somewhat of a discussion. But, if the spouse (husband or wife....usually husband) is adamantly against it sometimes we wives need to concede. BTDT!
3) You're going to save a child from their life or possible life. While, yes, there are children who may not survive without a family to care for them, medically and otherwise I'm not sure I will ever be convinced that that is reason enough/alone to adopt. How do 'we' know we are their saviors? Doesn't only 'He' know? If you want a child that's great. That's a great reason. Not purely to save a soul. This could be a lengthy discussion, so I'll leave it here.
4) Your existing children do NOT want siblings. Okay, you argue. Do we ask our children if we can get pregnant? No. But, adoption really is a different process and can require some different parenting, sort of like some special needs children. Not the same, but sort of.....hard to explain, but other adoptive parents understand. It's also extremely purposeful. Even in the case of a sibling call like we had there is still purpose. Not accident. Unless you have no insurance there is also minimal cost in pregnancy in comparison to adoption. Though I'm not a fan of letting those pesky fees get in the way if otherwise you can financially handle another child. Anyways, when we were in process, one thing very important to us as we added each one was whether everyone was good with it. If they weren't they had time to talk about it. IF it couldn't have been alleviated, whatever fears there were, we would NOT have proceeded. Our guardian ad litem commented on how well all of our children have adapted to each other. She said she'd seen families where biological children resented adopted children and vice versa. I know hard to imagine. She asked what we did and this is all I could think to tell her. We made all of our existing children, one by one, a part of the process.
5) Okay, so number 5 is a copout because really there aren't very many reasons NOT to adopt. It's great. It's wonderful and I'd be missing 3 little pieces of my heart without it. So, the only other reasons not to adopt are just obvious. You hate kids, want a servant/worker..... Though surely that doesn't really happen, right?
If you have add ons, feel free to leave them in comments.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
New Site to List for SCI
I'm going to find a spot on the blog to list this site; www.christopherreeve.org.
For the most part, Brian's spinal cord injury is just something that happened to him and, of course, our whole family. Most people assume that because he walked again and regained some of his other motor functions everything just goes back to the way it was, a sort of normal, for our family. But, any SCI patient or family knows that's not really true. It's something the patient will live with for the rest of their lives and it's not a static state. Meaning just because they gain it back doesn't mean it's permanent. Brian has lost some very minor simple functions. Mostly we noticed the right end fingers. But, over time things can happen within the spinal cord because of the injury that can cause him to lose more of what he gained back those months after and in rehab.
I won't get all technical here, but I've known for some time that he, in all reality, will likely end up disabled in 10-20 years. At our age now, that's pretty young. I say disabled only because the job he is trained to do cannot be done if he loses function. Thankfully, I think he may be able to find something to do at his current employer, just not what he does now, if he ends up with a walker or wheelchair. Honestly, I tend NOT to think about this. It makes me a bit sad at our lives changing once again. But, I do know it could happen and keep it purged away so that the shock doesn't hit me like his accident did.
Anyways, this site is a great site with lots of great information on spinal cord injuries.
Lisa
For the most part, Brian's spinal cord injury is just something that happened to him and, of course, our whole family. Most people assume that because he walked again and regained some of his other motor functions everything just goes back to the way it was, a sort of normal, for our family. But, any SCI patient or family knows that's not really true. It's something the patient will live with for the rest of their lives and it's not a static state. Meaning just because they gain it back doesn't mean it's permanent. Brian has lost some very minor simple functions. Mostly we noticed the right end fingers. But, over time things can happen within the spinal cord because of the injury that can cause him to lose more of what he gained back those months after and in rehab.
I won't get all technical here, but I've known for some time that he, in all reality, will likely end up disabled in 10-20 years. At our age now, that's pretty young. I say disabled only because the job he is trained to do cannot be done if he loses function. Thankfully, I think he may be able to find something to do at his current employer, just not what he does now, if he ends up with a walker or wheelchair. Honestly, I tend NOT to think about this. It makes me a bit sad at our lives changing once again. But, I do know it could happen and keep it purged away so that the shock doesn't hit me like his accident did.
Anyways, this site is a great site with lots of great information on spinal cord injuries.
Lisa
Monday, January 24, 2011
Finally getting back on a schedule
I've never been terribly scheduled with our time since going part time, but I do have somewhat of a routine. It all got blown up when Jaemin and I were sick the first of the year and then with the older kids being home so much. Now that I'm feeling quite a bit better and not going through a box of kleenex a day I feel more up to getting things done; besides what I absolutely have to.
Last week I made a alphabet and site word binder. Sounds crazy for a 2 year old, but it never hurts and Chelsi learned at just under 3 by this repetition, so what the hey. I printed them all off in big, bold print and put them in sheet protectors to go in the binder. On the flip side of the letters are the words, including such important words for Jaemin such as; Cole, Chase, Kaelin, Chelsi, Jaemin, mom and dad. :)
Over the weekend Chelsi and I went to Target after play rehearsal to raid their $1 bins. I wanted some fun things for the trip in May and thought that would be a good place to start. We got little journals for the girls to draw and write during the trip; pens with cords to carry them around their necks so they don't lose them, stickers for the journals, little stuffed animals and I'll try to find a couple more small items. I got Jaemin a couple of Hot Wheels we'll give him as we go along on the drive and he gets Batman stickers too!
Anyways, while we were at Target they had flashcards in the bins. Princess flashcards no less. Chelsi said she wanted them and Kaelin's been struggling a bit in addition and subtraction as far as speed, so I got them. So, today, after we went through the alphabet and sight words we went through flashcards for addition and I have begun to teach Chelsi how to add once you have a number to add to. She's starting to get it and I have no doubt she'll have it down pat in no time.
So between laundry/breakfast/kids drive to school and lunch we do school time. They get to sit on a pillow on the floor while we go through our items and then Jaemin and I read a book. Chelsi doesn't really enjoy the baby books anymore and can ready anything she wants anyways, so she just reads to herself when she chooses. I do think Jaemin's as quick as Chelsi he's just not quite as interested as her. Typical boy, in this house really.
Last week I made a alphabet and site word binder. Sounds crazy for a 2 year old, but it never hurts and Chelsi learned at just under 3 by this repetition, so what the hey. I printed them all off in big, bold print and put them in sheet protectors to go in the binder. On the flip side of the letters are the words, including such important words for Jaemin such as; Cole, Chase, Kaelin, Chelsi, Jaemin, mom and dad. :)
Over the weekend Chelsi and I went to Target after play rehearsal to raid their $1 bins. I wanted some fun things for the trip in May and thought that would be a good place to start. We got little journals for the girls to draw and write during the trip; pens with cords to carry them around their necks so they don't lose them, stickers for the journals, little stuffed animals and I'll try to find a couple more small items. I got Jaemin a couple of Hot Wheels we'll give him as we go along on the drive and he gets Batman stickers too!
Anyways, while we were at Target they had flashcards in the bins. Princess flashcards no less. Chelsi said she wanted them and Kaelin's been struggling a bit in addition and subtraction as far as speed, so I got them. So, today, after we went through the alphabet and sight words we went through flashcards for addition and I have begun to teach Chelsi how to add once you have a number to add to. She's starting to get it and I have no doubt she'll have it down pat in no time.
So between laundry/breakfast/kids drive to school and lunch we do school time. They get to sit on a pillow on the floor while we go through our items and then Jaemin and I read a book. Chelsi doesn't really enjoy the baby books anymore and can ready anything she wants anyways, so she just reads to herself when she chooses. I do think Jaemin's as quick as Chelsi he's just not quite as interested as her. Typical boy, in this house really.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Fans
Do you have a celebrity you are a fan of? I generally don't. I mean, they're just people too and we shouldn't idolize people. BUT, I have to say I really do enjoy Ellen. I have very limited time to watch tv, so I pick very carefully and frugally fill my tv time. I have to really get some enjoyment or the show gets purged. The Ellen Show, though I just found last year. I know....how slow can I be. I happened to be home a day or afternoon in May and caught a glimpse for one reason or another and it just made me laugh. It generally takes a lot to make me laugh, so yep, you guessed it; Ellen made it into my DVR selections.
I still watch it. Sometimes it's pretty much an Ellen marathon because I don't have time to watch it every single day with kid activities and parenting. I guess I should keep up with that duty, huh? But I do make time for my Ellen marathon and my good laughs. The thing I really like about her is how she helps people. I think it honestly makes her feel good and I think she feels like she's giving back for what she has.
Now, if I could figure out how to have great skin like that and look as young as she does (not that she's old) at her age. So in just under 20 years I still wanna look like I do now because she looks my age now.
Lisa
I still watch it. Sometimes it's pretty much an Ellen marathon because I don't have time to watch it every single day with kid activities and parenting. I guess I should keep up with that duty, huh? But I do make time for my Ellen marathon and my good laughs. The thing I really like about her is how she helps people. I think it honestly makes her feel good and I think she feels like she's giving back for what she has.
Now, if I could figure out how to have great skin like that and look as young as she does (not that she's old) at her age. So in just under 20 years I still wanna look like I do now because she looks my age now.
Lisa
Allergy to apples? Try pearsauce.
When Jaemin was diagnosed as being allergic to apples, I was shocked. I'd never heard of that one. They told me that it was actually very common. He breaks out in hives from apples or any sort of juice if they put apples in it. So, I have to carefully read anything he picks up if we go to a party with other kids, etc.
My mother in law actually started smashing pears for him because he was such a huge applesauce fan and he wasn't very happy if the other kids got applesauce and he didn't. He accepted the pear smashings, though. So, I've started making pearsauce at home for him. All you do is put about 5 cans of pears (in pear juice), 1 small can of pineapple and about 1/8 cup of grape juice (100%) in a blender. Blend it up and it's ready to go. I've done it with and without the juice and he loves it either way, but I got rave reviews when I made it with the juice. He kept telling me "yum, yum, dis good". That's great when he does that on his own. It must have been awesome.
My mother in law actually started smashing pears for him because he was such a huge applesauce fan and he wasn't very happy if the other kids got applesauce and he didn't. He accepted the pear smashings, though. So, I've started making pearsauce at home for him. All you do is put about 5 cans of pears (in pear juice), 1 small can of pineapple and about 1/8 cup of grape juice (100%) in a blender. Blend it up and it's ready to go. I've done it with and without the juice and he loves it either way, but I got rave reviews when I made it with the juice. He kept telling me "yum, yum, dis good". That's great when he does that on his own. It must have been awesome.
Snow Ice Cream
Since we got about 8-9 inches of snow yesterday and people kept writing about snow ice cream on facebook, I thought I'd give it a try. I'd never heard of it until facebook. We happened to get a recipe in our conservation magazine too. So with some milk, sugar, vanilla, chocolate syrup and fresh snow we made snow ice cream for 5 kids. Brian liked it so much he went back out and made more to keep in the freezer. It was actually kind of fun and very CHEAP. I like that.
Lisa
Lisa
Monday, January 17, 2011
TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK
Yep, at almost 2 1/2 Jaemin's finally talking. I mean on par with his age. The doctor mentioned something in September, when he turned 2, about looking into therapy if he wasn't a little closer to his age by 2 1/2. Well, he is finally getting there. The only multiple word sentences he was putting together was 'Iunt' (aka I want). Today, I heard him looking for Cole saying "Cole, where are you?". WOOHOO!!! I was finally starting to worry and now there's no need. I was waiting since the doctor said to. Luckily, he's pretty laid back and doesn't throw everyone into therapy or therapy at everyone unless they really are delayed. There's a pretty broad spectrum for delay, so I wasn't quite there yet.
I think it had something to do with the illness he had a few weeks ago. Somehow that ear infection must have been building up for some time and he must have had fluid on his ears. As soon as his antibiotic started working the words started to flow. Things he had never said before are just spewing out of his mouth. It's crazy! Now, it won't stop. He'll be talking and going on and on forever.
Lisa
I think it had something to do with the illness he had a few weeks ago. Somehow that ear infection must have been building up for some time and he must have had fluid on his ears. As soon as his antibiotic started working the words started to flow. Things he had never said before are just spewing out of his mouth. It's crazy! Now, it won't stop. He'll be talking and going on and on forever.
Lisa
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