My middle baby boy turned 11! Oh my, where did the time go? I brought him home from the hospital on Mother's Day 11 years ago. He was an AWESOME Mother's Day present. I will never forget that day and how happy I was.

Happy Birthday Chase!

We love you!

Pacing, pacing, flapping frustration!

I'm just venting...just need to vent.  Sometimes, just sometimes it really drives me crazy when J paces (really it's running) from one end of the room to the other...over and over and over and over and over..... you get the idea.  He flaps, flaps, flaps....again you get the idea.  For some reason it's worse today.  I don't know if he just didn't get enough energy out or what.  It's days like these that even though the specialists decided he's not on the autism spectrum, I can't help but still have a tinge of fear he may really be?  I love, love, love him more than anything.  He's my baby boy, there's no doubt, but I have not been able to stop him all day.  Hoping tomorrow is better for him.  Hoping that some day whatever overstimulation or understimulation he's needing or having is rectified.  I'm hoping some day his body figures out how to regulate itself.  Sometimes, just sometimes, I feel overwhelmed between my anticipation of not knowing when Cole's surgery is coming and not really knowing what's going on with Jaemin and his GERD and whether this is truly causing some of these symptoms.  I was reading over the side effects of ranitidine with a nurse friend of ours and weird body movements are a rare effect.  I'm just hoping that this next specialist will help us figure it out.

Oh, did I even mention that whole ordeal?  We had Jaemin's evaluation with the autism specialists on 4/21.  She recommended changing his GERD meds.  So I called his gastro and they called back on Good Friday and said no...we needed to see him and talk to him in person.  His autism specialist (development pediatrician) felt it was worth a try to switch is meds on the off chance that it was causing some of his behaviors since it began around the same time.  I told the nurse that I wasn't going to pay $100 to come in just to talk to the doc.  I wanted to know what he was going to do.  She had no answers.  She called the next Monday and went through this again and again the next Wednesday.  I finally told them I was really irritated that they kept calling me.  I was looking into alternatives on my own at that point because I was so frustrated with a doctor who can't seem to tell you what the next step was.  Not to mention that they decided that my not wanting to pay $100 to talk to me translated into not being able to and they called social services on our behalf.  I was TICKED!

So, the gastr, himself, calls that Friday.  I explain myself again.  He does nothing but reiterates that I need to bring him in for an exam.  Explains nothing else.  Finally after 45 minutes of conversation he tells me that we need to confirm he's still refluxing and there IS a test.  Well, halleluja!  Needless to say he will not be the one doing it.  After talking to another friend of ours who has brought their child to the same gastro and also were unhappy we switched to another children's hospital further away as we have no other choices here.  She loved the gastro she saw there and how thorough he was.  I emailed the hospital and they called me the next day.  They explained exactly what to expect and said the very same doctor our friend liked so well is the one in the group we'd see due to his specialty.  I take that as a sign from God.  So, next month, if they get the records transferred in time, we'll be driving 2 1/2 hours to this hospital for a consult.  Then, back again to stay over for a probe and possible other tests (they mentioned ultrasounds and such).  I'm so happy someone is finally helping us with him and not ignoring me AND THEN blaming us insinuating we're neglectful parents.  ARE YOU SERIOUS? 

We may not be perfect parents, but the one thing we are is careful with our kids' health with all the needs they have.  I take this extremely personally when you insult my mothering.  And please, please listen to me as far as medical goes.  I know my kids best!

You mean, he really would do this for me?

I knew under that tween exterior he was still a momma's boy!

Chase was always a bit of a momma's boy.  He was my little cuddler (like Jaemin is now) and still, from time-to-time, kisses me on he lips when he goes to bed.  But, it gets less and less as he gets older.  You know it's just embarrassing to 'like' you mom when you're almost 11!

But, now I know he still loves me!  We went to Bass Pro tonight so the 3 boys could spend their gift card money they've each been saving.  Cole spent all of his, plus his saved cash for a rifle he'd been wanting, so he could have his own for the fall hunting season.  Jaemin spent all $25 of his on a shirt he picked out (frogs, snails and fish tails; that's what little boys are made of) and a stuffed fish we named Squishy to sleep with.  Chase, as usual was very sparing with his gift cards.  He had $77 on his and he spent under $25.  But, here's where I know he still loves me like the momma's boy I know he is.  I just said, 'oh it would be nice if one of you boys bought me a shirt for Mother's Day'.  Later, Chase said he would, but I said 'don't worry about it'.  Then, I found a hat that would keep the sun off my head and shoulders on vacation so I won't get anymore skin cancer.  I was hemhawin' around about spending the $20 it cost.  He put it in his basket to buy for me.  He was pretty insistent, but in the end I won.  If it had been $10, I would have let him, but I wasn't going to let him spend on my hat what he spent on several fishing items.  The gesture was the sweetest.

He may be turning 11 next week, but he's still one of my baby boys!  I love you Chasie!

For old time's sake, last years' field trip pic on his 10th birthday.

Oh me, Oh my!

I have two that like the spotlight now.  Not that Kaelin, I think, will ever crave it as much as Chelsi....she's just not near the clown Chelsi is.  And, honestly, she shocked me tonight.  She signed up for 2nd grade honor choir a couple of months ago.  I'm always for it when they find an interest and so far this one is almost always on school time, so no problem.  It did surprise me a bit, but cool.  So, tonight was the school talent show and the choirs for the grades had to perform.  As far as I knew that was going to be it, so I'd actually planned on leaving after Kaelin sang.  After her group sings, she runs in to find me and tells me that she's going to go on stage with her friends.  Oooookkkkaaaayyy? 

Come to find out, she'd decided to sing with them recently...not much, but before tonight.  She said she 'forgot' to tell us.  Not sure why she didn't....in case she backed out?  I did think it was odd that she drug out this old red ribbon to put in her hair with her black shirt.  It seemed sort of uniformish, but whatever she wanted.  Turns out the girls in her group were wearing red and black.  So, Kaelin and 4 of her friends sang 'Firecracker'.  And as always you could hear Kaelin.  I'm glad she enjoyed herself.  Chelsi was sick today, so Brian stayed home with her and the other kids, so I video'd it for him to watch later. 
Here's a picture I took of her with her group, but I blocked their faces out for privacy.  If I'd known where she'd be, etc. I would have gotten a better picture than a microphone in her face.  Oh well, this camera is not that great in low light anyways...but we'll always have the video.

An angel....just an angel

We had Kaelin's 1st Communion. This is one the sacraments in the Catholic faith.  She is now allowed to accept communion; yet another step to accepting Jesus.  She picked out her pretty white dress and shoes.  I took my veil from my wedding to her dad and she and I cut it up and rearranged it for her veil.  I put her hair in an updo this morning and we went to mass.  She was absolutely stunning.  She looked and acted so mature.  She usually slouches and messes around in church, but she didn't today.  It was serious to her.  My, my is she a pretty young lady.  Considering it was supposed to be cold and rainy we lucked out.  Both held off until after we were home, so we were able to get pretty pictures outside, afterward.

Kaelin's friend Benjamin.

One of her Godparents.

Grandparents and great-grandparents

$$ and Reverse Sleeping

Well, our rummage sale last weekend was a bust because of the rain. Oh yeah, we still had it and people came, but no one was really in the mood to spend money. I find that I don't spend money on depressing days either, so I guess I can understand, but geez...name brand clothes for $1. I came home from where we were having the rummage sale last Saturday, took pictures of my leftovers, which totaled two rough totes and listed it all on craigslist. I have 3 pick ups tomorrow and hopefully one more sale on the way. The only item left after that is a Halloween costume. No biggie, I can hold onto that and try to sell in late September. I ended up doing better online than on my prices I would have gotten at the rummage sale anyways. This money is our spending money for vacation this summer, so it would be nice to end up with a couple hundred to ease the pain.


On a side note, Jaemin slept in his bed for over 6 hours last night. I found that if he comes in, I can, almost always, wait until he's sleeping again and bring him back to his bed. Then, he stays in his room. This has worked 2 or 3 times anyways. I didn't realize how much sleep I've been missing these past couple of years until I slept straight through from 11 or 12 until 6...no little one's head in my back, yelling in the night, etc. Such a nice slumber. I hope it continues, 'cause it really does a body good!

ipawee pweese

This is Jaemin speak for 'iPod please'.  He loves an iPOD touch.  First he used big brothers' all the time, now that mom and dad have one to share he uses ours.  He takes his Angry Birds seriously.  I swear I only had him undressed for a minute while I went to get a diaper and he was back on the couch playing ipawee.

He's a smart one.  He knows how to zoom around the iPod and get to where he wants.