What is culture for me?

I find myself thinking about this more often as the days go by.  I'm just American.  I mean, American in itself is a sort of culture, but not the rich culture I see in others.  Some American families still celebrate their German, Irish, Indian, Jewish, etc. cultures.  I am mostly German with a mix of Irish, American-Indian, Swedish, French, English, etc. thrown in.  We have never celebrated a culture in this family.  My dad's family came over from England in the 1600s and married into Irish, American-Indian, etc.  My mom's German family came over in the 1800s.  Even my great grandmother still spoke some German.  My husband's grandmother’s still speaks some German, but neither of our families do anything to celebrate cultural heritage.  We're all completely Americanized; our culture has become a meld of our own born cultures and a million others that were brought here.  

I struggle with this whole concept.  It seems so many other ethnicities have such strong ties to their culture.  I forget how much I admire, respect and am a little jealous of this until we go to Children's Day at a Korean church.  The closeness within the church community and how they include adoptive families is one of the most beautiful things to see.  Watching the youth and adults interact while reenacting Korean traditions such as drumming, dance, cooking, writing and hearing them all still speak the language is just so beautiful.  I know you will hear some Americans complain when they hear someone speaking another language.  I've overheard Americans complain plenty.  But, these people speak, mostly, perfect English too.  Most are Americans too (which I think is sometimes forgotten or not acknowledged) but, they're able to conserve their children's Korean heritage and culture and keep it alive.  That's what I wish we had; a culture to keep alive.  So, while we cannot bring our children up with Korean culture because we're not Korean and fully capable of doing so I wish we could bring more of the culture into our family because it's the culture I do feel closest to.  I adore the values they have in their own society and how they are so wonderful with each other's children as well as their own.  You know the saying 'it takes a village'.  They are a wonderful village.  They represent what we used to be before our generations began changing to a me/selfish society of the wants and have nots.

I only wish we had a Korean community here so we could be more of a part of it.  Partially for my 3 youngest, but really all 7 of us could benefit.  I would love for all 5 of my children to be raised the way these kids are.  Korean culture, along with many others, are just so beautiful.  It's the way the elders are treated, preservation of what's important today and yesterday and always a sense of belonging.

Happy Mothers Day to

all the mothers that are already mothers and the mothers that want to be, whether through adoption, foster, step, or plain ole biology....and through this I include the birth mothers out there who lovingly made a choice for their children.

I have a VERY busy weekend planned and I don't foresee having time to post Sunday, so I thought I'd say it now because moms need to be reminded how wonderful they are and how much they change this world by being good moms.

I'm not a perfect mom.  Some days I'm probably not even a good mom.  But some days, just some days I'm an awesome mom and I attribute that to my upbringing and my friends and acquaintances through the years that have taught me to be better person and put my children first and sometimes my husband and I first.

When I was 19 my hopes of being a mom felt dashed.  I was told I had a translocation of chromosomes.  I didn't believe that my life long dream would ever come true.  Eventually, we lost our first daughter because of that translocation.  But now, almost 16 years later I have 5 children....5 awesomely great children.  I never expected to look at my kids and see 5 sets of brown eyes; 3 as dark as mine.  I never expected to see 5 round noses....3 that look just like mine.  I never expected to have 2 blondies and 3 black as night, haired kiddos; one with beautifully, natural, auburn highlights.  I never expected after being mocked when I was little and called China girl (solely for my dark eyes that squinted when I smiled) I would have 3 sets of those same eyes, but they look beautiful like that all the time even without smiling; but their eyes smile even more when their mouth does.  I never dreamed I would have 2 children that seem to be so athletically inclined like their dad.  I have 5 great kids that have pieces of both of us.  All 5 are our kids and each others sibling and companion and sometimes best friend.  2 sets of my children are biologically related to each other; while one is not, but no one can tell that.  They can't even tell that.

My kids are my kids and I'm blessed to have them and the life I never dreamed of 16 years ago.  I will always remember, through them, to take anything God hands me because it is He who had this wonderful plan for my life that I could have never imagined.

Lisa

Country living...no twang

I think most people think that if you don't have a southern twang you don't live in the country.  The twang just means you're, well, southern.  Although depending where in the United States I have traveled to, I have been told I have an accent...I don't, BTW.  The only thing I know I say and I cannot stop and my husband so makes fun of me for is I do say ya'll.  I cannot say you all, but it's not like in some areas where they youens.  :)

But, around here it is living in the country.  Of course, those of us that have been here forever are pretty much still the same way we've always been while the folks moving in from the bigger towns and cities are not quite the same as the original locals.  But, here your yard, for the most part, does not butt up against someone else's.  We have subdivisions, but they're not city, suburban subdivisions.  We back up to a farm with 2 acres of woods for the kids to explore.  A runoff creek where, somehow, year around the kids find crawdads.  They dig up toads there too...yes, they're in the ground.  You cannot send your kids out to play in their school clothes here.  There's too much to explore, so the jeans that finally got holes in them get cut off for summer and they wear them with holes in the winter.  Just love driving the kids to school and passing the local high schoolers driving to school on their tractors.  Yes, this is a spring regular.

I love living in the country...wish we could live further out, but being a working mom it would intrude on the time I can spend with mom by spending even more time commuting to work.  But, we kind of a get a mix of both worlds.  Sometimes there is cattle in the road....ahem...Jay!  There's always someone pulling a boat to go to a local spot to fish.  We can't wait to test ours out with the family.  Your dogs can still run loose, cats are kept to keep the snakes and mice to a minimum, we're a little rock and a little country, and we're still somewhat self sufficient, hunting and fishing for our food.  (okay, so I don't do the hunting, but I like to fish and when the kids are little older it will be fun to do more often again.)  We raise our kids to try to be responsible for their own actions, their money, their time and their treatment towards others. 

It's a place you can live where it's a little more modern without being complete podunk....yep, that's a word, at least it is around here.

Lanyard with Korean/Hangul?

I have this cute little key fob that has hangul embroidered on it.  I love it.  My little thingy that I clip my Sonitrol card to my shirt at work broke and instead of getting the $2.00 replacements at Walmart I thought I'd try to find a lanyard that has Hangul on it.  Something sweet...you know?  I can't find one anywhere.  If anyone knows where to find one, let me know.  The girl that made mine is in the process of moving and she didn't know if she would start that stuff back up again or not.

Lisa

I DO NOT look tired!

When strangers ask how I'm doing, it's a normal conversation.  You know, a quick "hi how are you doing", in the elevator on the way to your floor at work.  But, when coworkers that I'm acquainted with, don't know that well, but they know I have 5 kids, they always follow by 'you look tired'.  I know I don't look tired.  I think a lot of it is just that people cannot imagine 5 kids in the age groups we have and working.  I know a 'few' others, very few, who have that many, but they usually consist of step kids that they don't have or older and out of the house kids.  We obviously don't run in the right circles to know people like us...or maybe they don't exist?  I have no idea.

But, am I tired sometimes?  Sure.  Is it totally overwhelming to work outside the house...both of us...and have 5 kids 1-13?  Sometimes.  The good outweighs the bad though and it's not your foremost thought everyday.  First of all you're too busy to really think about it and over analyze anything.  You try to get you and your husband and your kids by.  It's just that simple.  You look at your time by the week...sometimes by the day or moment.  I try by the week only because I miss things otherwise and then I'll end up mad at myself for losing track.  Easy to do though.  For instance, I have one day off this week and while I'll have the two littles in tow I have a ton of errands to get run; all before nap time.  I don't get to take time off work because....well, I have 5 kids.  I may need it, so errands have to be meticulously planned out to make the most of my time. 

I'll need to get the kids to school, get to the hospital to get little miss' VCUG films/CD for her nephrologist appointment Monday, then an 8:30 appointment, then to social security to get little man recorded as a full-fledged US citizen in their records and I'd like to stop at the grocery store before my coupon for $3 off anything expires.  Afterall, I don't come across those too often.  Then, there will be lunch and, God willing, naps.  Laundry will hopefully get done in there somewhere and then the kids get home from school and we have plans all weekend long.

So, yeah, I'm tired from time-to-time, but I know I don't look it, so leave me alone just because I have 5 kids....doesn't mean I really am tired all the time.  I can do it and am doing it just fine...afterall I have a great 2nd half.

I'm trying to learn the art of

guilt...the mommy favorite.

My mom is grade A at it with me and my sister.  Don't know if she tries to work the same magic with our brother or not.  I am just in apprenticeship on it.  I have a lot to learn and long way to go.  But, since Cole's grades are lacking in some areas and he LOVES his little brother I'm trying a new kind of inspiration...ahem..guilt....to get him to work.  He came in to tell Jaemin goodnight and Jaemin wraps his little arms and hands around Cole's neck like no one else.  Jaemin totally looks up to him and I totally latched onto that as he was hugging him and Cole was soaking it in.  Be a good example for your brother.  You only want the best for him, right?

I'll have to try to get better at this truly though.  Maybe it comes with age?

Another day, another worry

I feel bad even writing and venting about this, but some days are just tougher than others and that's a fact.  I know there are moms out there with kids battling life threatening diseases, major disorders and other traumatic life experiences, but for now this is my world.

I see the other side too.  In parent groups I see other moms, much newer and with less age ranges, worrying whether their kids will get enough votes for the newest photo contest or if they're kid is not doing what their friends' kids' are doing or they're upset because the kiddos, not in school, are getting up before 8:00 am. 

For me, it's the reality of working outside the home (out the door at 7 and back at 5), spending enough time with them and being able to help them get all that they need TIMES 5.  Plus the range in ages is 1-13.  That means we're going through almost every developmental stage for children at once.  We're only missing the older teen, which I don't look forward to right now, so 'yay me' (to quote London). 

So, I have a 1 year old that hits and will not go to bed....until 2 hours of us putting him back to bed 20 times and then finally falling asleep on us.  So what I have a 4 year old that can read, but is beginning to go through the sassiness of a little girl her age and making up for all time lost with all due haste and has to be checked out for kidney problems that scare me some; though I try not to focus on what may or may not be.  So if I have a 7 year old that listens to about 1/2 of what we say to her and has a love for tattling on older brothers....DAILY...being sure to only pick on one at a time, thinking we don't know (she has admitted to doing this) and most likely is ADD.  And, whatever if I have a 9 year old that is caught between a little boy and big boy and sometimes his emotions really give this away and at his size flopping to the floor...not so cute.  And it's not a big deal to have that and 13 year that is ADHD/ADD, but can't have meds because he has a heart condition and is brilliant, but doesn't care about his grades, so they randomly go down from time to time throughout the year and he always makes sure to be fair to all the classes and rotates the bad grades around.

I feel stressed right now with all this little stuff packing on and the worst thing is I shouldn't let it stress me.  There's nothing I can do about it.  They're good kids.  They really are.  They don't beg for cell phones and other spoiled kid things and they're thankful for what they do have.  I have good kids, but how could I not be stressed and worn out...some of the time?  And yes I signed up for this gig and I never, for a second regret it, but they are my life and I worry about them.  I want only the best for the five little people sharing a room, life and love with us.