New additions

We have some new additions to the family. We are welcoming Shotgun and Camo...yeah the boys are hoping they will hunt with them,b ut they were free, so oh well.  Now we have as many outdoor pets as we do children. Today, we added two miniature beagle pups. We still have our Jynxy boy and he has come a long way since we took him in. These guys have been well cared for and literally follow the big boys around like puppies. They love to play...so we won't be having to teach them like we did Jynx. They're so cute. We did have to give them a flea dip because they were covered. So after 1 1/2 hours of careful scrubbing they look great. They have their kitty collars on them, flea collars on them and little name tags we got for about $2 each on Ebay. Jynx now has one too for that price. Not that he's ever brave enough to leave the house.

Oh to see the boys this happy is wonderful!

Fun mom

I have a hard time fighting with my conscience.  I really struggle sometimes.  It wants me to be a cheapskate all the time and do the very responsible thing and sometimes I just don't want to.  I'm not talking about going crazy and blowing any significant amount of money on nothing or eating out every night or anything remotely crazy like that.  Yeah, I see that as crazy for us.  But, I wanted to be the fun mom for once.  I seems all the other moms on facebook are doing this or doing that and it all adds up to $$ we can't spend. 

So here we are with school closing in on us and I wondered if I'd look back at the end of the summer and wished I had done more.  It's been SO hot, so sometimes we were just plain limited by that.  To do much of anything substantial requires driving a couple of hours away which ends up costing at least another $30 in gas to travel.  We just can't afford that.  So much of days off this summer have been spent in doctors offices doing catch up for physicials, dental and ortho appointments.  Fun huh?  The other days we go to Lois' pool and swim while poor Lois is at work.  Today it finally rained, so while we sure weren't going to complain, it left us with no pool.  So, I decided to splurge and take them to the movies.  I hadn't taken my own kids since Cole was little and the original Toy Story was out.  Long time ago, huh?  It was cheap enough for a matinee and they had good deals on snacks, so I told them to load up.  The Smurfs was the only thing playing that all 5 kids were allowed to watch, but they were happy to be going.  For $2.50 they each got a soda, popcorn and candy.  Jaemin, much to my surprise did really well.  He sat in his own little seat with his little snackbox on his lap and enjoyed the movie.  For 2 hours I had all 5 kids sitting quietly still.  It was pretty nice.  It's a so so movie...for adults anyways, but the kids enjoyed it. 

Jaemin apparently listened to the movie too because I asked him what color a smurf was, when we got home, and he said 'bue'.  Smart boy!  Nice close to my summer with the kids.  Even if this is the only summer I ever get like this, I have to say it was absolutely worth every penny, or rather no pennies and no money, to do it.  I will never forget this summer and how nice it was to stay home and fix their lunch for them, sometimes their breakfast and drag them everywhere with me.  I thank God that it was possible even if only for a short while.

Prayers to Korea

I've been thinking about Seoul and other areas of Korea a lot since the massive flooding and mudslides.  I've especially been thinking about my kids' agency workers, foster mothers and 2 of my children's birth families.  It weighed heavily, earlier this week, when I read that Gwangju had been hit with the mudslides and people were dead.  I'm praying that Jae and Chelsi's birth families are safe and healthy.

Temporary hold of $

I just looked at our Discover statement and realized we need to go on a spend hold until the statement switches to the new month (since we pay it off monthly).  We have to go almost 2 weeks with only buying a few, very limited, groceries and gas.  This is the ONLY way I can stay in budget.  I, duh, forgot that this was the month we had to pay $125 for Chase to play football this fall, so I'm that much behind for the month.  I really don't think I realized just how much things would change and how expensive things really would get as the kids got older.  I mean everyone tells you that happens and you think yeah, okay, things get more expensive.  But, with no raises for a few years, going backwards in income because of increasing insurance has starting putting me into more of a panic.  Especially since they're getting ready to release our 2012 premiums.  I'm really worried since whatever they raise will probably be per child since they decided to start charging that way last time.

I think I'm getting sort of sad knowing that my part time is now limited.  I have it approved through August 2012, but unless something gives, monthly, I don't think we can keep this up.  I'm taking out of savings to pay bills and that's not okay with me.  It's too hard to get it there in the first place and that is supposed to be for Korea, no touching.  I'm going to try to last it until I can either get a decent promotion at my job to make up for my decrease in pay or until we just absolutely, without a doubt can't do it any longer.  I don't perceive that to be too much longer, though, at the rate we're going.

Money truly stinks and sometimes feels like such an evil.  I mean, people would behave differently, sometimes I'm not sure if better or worse, if money weren't such an issue constantly.

Thanks to Apple

Chase is getting a new iPod Touch.  We had called after the toddler tornado incident (aka Jaemin) and they said it was $99 for the replacement since it was probably put in water (the toilet).  I had Chase call back today to find out if it would cost to ship his to Apple and the new one back or not.  I thought that if it didn't it would make sense not to try to get to an Apple store 2 hours away.  The rep he got was so nice.  She told him it would cost for both ways and asked if he wanted a replacement.  I told her we couldn't afford that extra cost right now.  Seconds after we hung up she called us back.  She thought he was such a polite child and felt so bad that baby brother was the culprit that she wanted us to hold to see if she could find a way to help out.  After about 15 minutes or so on hold she's doing everything for free.  She's even shipping us an empty prepaid box to ship his broken iPod back in.  She said about 2 or 3 days after they get his they'll send him a new refurbished iPod.

I put Chase back on the phone with her so she could explain what was going to happen and he was pretty happy and was able to tell her thank you himself.

Now, hopefully, Chase really has learned his lesson about leaving his stuff whevever and maybe, just maybe, he'll put his iPod up out of reach of a VERY curious 2 year old.  I told Chase he better thank his lucky stars for that kind of break.  It was going to cost him $50 of the $99 plus the shipping and these breaks don't come around often in life. 

iPod down the toilet?

This is the question of the day in our house.  Poor Chase, and I use that loosely right now, left his iPod Touch where baby brother could get to it.  Next thing you know, Chase comes home from fishing and finds his iPod in the bathroom trashcan.  Now, little brother loves to throw everything away; including batteries that are not dead yet.  However, when Chase pulled his iPod out, it had drops of water in it.  We knew little brother had played in the toilet, so if he put the iPod in there, it must have been quick or somehow he had his hands wet and then touched it.  Who knows.  Needless to say, the iPod isn't working.  I finally was able to get it to restore and sync, but it still won't turn on.  We wrapped it in a papertowel and let it sit in rice to draw out any moisture, but it wasn't wet at all when he brought it to me.  Still nothing today.  According to Apple his only choice is to send it back and get a replacement for $99 or we could try an Apple store and see if they're willing to say it wasn't wet.  I'm doubting they'll say that and it's probably not worth the $30+ in gas it would cost to get to the nearest one.  I told Chase I'd pay for half of the replacement since little brother did it, but I wouldn't pay for the rest since I'd told him a million times to put it up and keep it up out of his reach.  They know he loves to play with them, so don't tempt a little boy how loves iPods and water.

School Supply Time

Man these things get more expensive every year.  I decided, this year, to spread out the purchases.  I'm buying some on this month's credit card statement and some on next month's statement; since I pay it off every month.  I already went through my leftover stash from last year and the items the kids could reuse.  We've been reusing scissors since Cole was in kindergarten.  We finally got the lists this week and after we loaded their bags up with what we already had or could reuse we picked up a few of the smaller items at Walmart today.  It still totaled $37 without tax, without those zippered binders that are required at almost $15 each, without the $5 dry erase markers, baby wipes, chlorox wipes and oh yea.....none of that includes Cole's high school list because they haven't released it yet.  I'm betting what I have left is going to cost double what I've spent.

I like our school, but sometimes it just makes it too difficult for parents.  For instance, we have to have certain colored folders and notebooks.  I couldn't find some of them so we substituted red for orange and blue for purple.  You would have thought the primary colors would have made the most sense anyways.  Then they ask for things like 3 packages of "Crayola" washable markers at almost $3 each for a kindergartner.  Yeah, they're getting Rose Art for 1/2 that.  Or, and I love this, the $5/package pencils for a 3rd grader.  Sorry, this family cannot afford this with 4 kids in school this year.  So, while everything on the list will be purchased and supplied it will not necessarily be the brand specified by the school.

Oy!  Same frustration from me every year.  And just wait.  In 3 years I'll have all 5 in school!  Jaemin will start kindergarten when Cole is a senior.  Then college!!

Stinky situations

I'm so done with opinion after opinion after opinion.  I'm all talked out!  There's teeth and sewer...doesn't that sound yummy?

We were sent to an orthodontist when Chase was 7 because of a cross bite.  So, off and on for 4 years now, we've been getting opinions.  The first guy wanted us to pay $7,000 and start on an expander and brace phases immediately.  He told me by the time he was 11 his palate couldn't be expanded and would have to be broken.  When we couldn't afford to do that I felt like a terrible mother.  So, eventually, I went to get a 2nd opinion from the only other ortho in town.  This was two years ago and he told me $5500 for expander and braces.  Still couldn't afford it, so we held off.  This year we ventured to a city an hour away because there's more competition there, so it's less expensive.  This guy said no expander, but braces at $4900 with discount of paying off.  Okay, that was closer because he said I was in no rush as his crossed teeth were not hitting yet, but would hit in the next few years.  Right now it's his 3 ectopic permanent teeth that are a bit of an issue due to no room on top.

Me being the bargain shopper I am I called opinion #2 back since it had been 2 years and asked that he look at him again; before I commit to an hour away ortho.  He said he'd grown dramatically in 2 years and while something still needs done due to his cross bite and ectopic teeth he was going to try to be creative with our budget.  He said wisdom teeth can make all the difference.  So, after finding out that our backwoods dentist would only charge me $54 for a panoramic xray (because we pay out of pocket with no insurance) he said he would match it so that he could make a decision that day.  Turns out he does not yet have his wisdom teeth and since mine have still not come in on top he felt comfortable not using an expander, but rather pulling a couple of babies that are almost ready to fall out (free of charge) and then next year pulling a couple bottom baby teeth (under anesthesia due to the roots) and putting a few brackets on top and bottom to hold them in place and prohibit them from moving forward.  This will allow all of his ectopic teeth to move down into their places and shove his two front teeth together.  He said it won't be perfect, but he said it will look nice and be medically stable.  This for about $3500-4000.  Not that I want to spend the money, but it's pretty necessary and we'll take it.  So, at this point, it looks like next year we'll be putting one in braces.

We almost had 2 in braces.  I had to take Cole in for the consult too because our dentist was concerned about the crowdedness of his bottoms.  I told the ortho that we were very limited in funds due to septic problems.  He works with the menonite community, so he understood.  He said Cole's uppers were perfect and while his bottom doesn't look great he says it won't change and won't cause issues.  So he can due it at any time into adulthood.  With three kids younger, we decided it's better to treat the worst case right now, not knowing how the younger ones will be.  One win there!

We've been researching septic solutions for awhile now.  A couple of years ago when we added on our pantry and garage it changed the direction of rain drainage and we think is what contributed to our problem.  We planted a willow in the wet spot and hoped it would help soak up the moisture.  Three years later it's getting wetter.  It's not standing water, but when you can't mow even 6 days after a heavy rain, you have issues.  We had someone come in and redirect it to the woods as a temporary fix, but have been looking into our option ever since.  We don't, by law, have to fix it unless we sell, but I don't like the risk of the bugs and the wetness and the kids falling down, etc.  I've talked on the phone to several that are licensed with our county to do the proper work and some have even come out to look at it.  I've had every opinion you can imagine.  One said replace the whole system with an engineered system at $15,000-30,000.  One said they wanted to put in a $2,500 aerator.  One said we could do a lagoon, but that's illegal due to our restrictions in the neighborhood.  We have city sewer coming in 18 months.....IF we annex into the city.  So, I am trying to get the neighbors to discuss our options.  If they want to annex, now would be cheaper.  If we're forced to annex down the line it will cost more.  But, it's not a guarantee we will be annexed.  So, we're finally going to discuss as a neighborhood next month.  I know we cannot afford this new system.  There's no doubt.  I will NOT spend eight years of saving for Korea on poo!  We had yet one more guy come out last night and he thinks we have a crushed pipe at the end and it may just need an inexpensive repair and extended drain field due to the size of our family.  Luckily when we built our builder put in a bigger tank, so it's fine for our size.  He's going to get drawings from when we built so he can better figure out our options and give us a good estimate.  He said it won't be bad.  Finally, I feel like I have some hope on this one.  I've been so stressed about poop.  Isn't that awful!

I'll update on the poop situation after August 10th when we have our bid and our meeting.  The teeth will have to wait until they make their determination in November, 5 months after he gets some babies pulled out.

Korean American Actor Doing Well - On Screen

You can no longer say there are no Korean American actors as role models on the big screen anymore.  I'm not saying there are lots or enough, but there definitely are some making their way.  Brenda Song, of course, is the Disney star my kids recognize.  And then you have Daniel Dae Kim the cutie on Hawaii Five O.  Now we also have Ken Jeong doing quite well.  He's been on screen for a bit, but is doing quite well at this very moment as you'll see from the link here.  Don't forget he's also a medical doctor by training.  Amazing?  I know.

Regrets anyone?

Do you have regrets in your life?  I think most people have some.  While some would do their whole life over again; I think most would choose just to tweak theirs.

I would like to tweak mine.  Sure, I think it would have been better if I had finished college, etc., but that would have changed my destiny and my children that I have, so I really don't dwell on that.  It's not a regret that makes me stay awake at night.  The regret I have is how I parent.  I'm always people watching in public wondering if everyone's a better parent than I am or we are.  Do they all lose it from time to time (sometimes more often than others) and yell or say something they regret and have to apologize for?  Sometimes, it doesn't seem as though that's the situation.  I feel like a really awful parent sometimes....a lot of times.  I wish I could calmly say 'no what made you choose to do that?' instead of 'what the heck were thinking?' or worse.  I'm pretty honest with my kids about life, but am I too honest sometimes.  Do they need to know the intricacies of being an adult?  Okay, no I don't share the gory details of everything adult, but I do try to prepare them for some heartache and pain.

The thing is, I know it's not too late on my 3 youngest.  I can change the sort of parent I am and when they talk to each other as adults it will be as if they grew up in different households...hopefully.  It feels too late for my older ones.  Is how I react to situations going to hurt the people they become?  I pray not.  I pray they become better parents than I am.  Am I terrible?  I know I'm not terrible.  I know there are worse, but I feel like I could be better.  I want to be better.  I pray I can change and be better while instilling the same respects into them for the long term.

He's gonna scare his momma!

My little man.  I absolutely love Jaemin with all my heart and soul, but that boy is one day gonna give me a huge scare.   We took the kids to the pool today since we had a freebie after swimming lessons.  Jaemin wanted his floaties off and since we were in the 2 foot area I let him have it off.  I was right there.  So, picture this.  There is 2 feet of water and Jaemin is 35 inches (1 inch under 3 feet).  He goes under.  Now, I knew he wasn't scared of putting his head under because every time we're in the 1 foot baby pool during swim lessons he puts his head under and practically kisses the bottom. 

He would bend his legs in that 2 foot pool and squat down.  I'm not talking about quickly bobbing under to get it over with, I'm talking slow motion enjoying going under.  He LOVES the water so much.  Then, Chelsi was swimming next to him and I told him to kick his feet and move his arms and swim under water like Chelsi did.  Sure enough my brave little man kicked his feet in back of his body floated down into the middle of the water and and kicked and swirled his arms around.  I left him go for a bit and he was still down.  Much longer than I swear any 2 year old has stayed under water.  I'd finally grab his feet and put them on the bottom of the pool.  Jaemin would stand up and smile; no water coughing, nothing.  That boy can hold his breath at 2 years old.  He' purely amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I fall more in love with Jaemin with every passing day of getting to be his mother.  I'm so blessed.

Another Swim Class Complete

The kids go to swim lessons every year.  Even if it's out of our budget, it's kind of a must in my mind.  Safety's a big issue and it's good for them to feel absolutely comfortable in the water...especially with so much around here.

Chelsi was in level 2, while Cole, Chase and Kaelin were in levels 6, 5 and 4 respectively.  Next year Chelsi will be in level 3; scary a 6 year old small girl in 4 foot of water.  Chase will be in level 6; we're expecting him to need to spend 2 years there.  :)  Kaelin will repeat level 4.  Cole passed level 6, so next year he will be old enough to take a lifeguard certification and do that if he chooses.  He's going to call them tomorrow to see what to expect next year since it costs around $130 and I can't afford to pay for it for him.  Though I'd love to see him have a job at 15 to start saving some money and would be more than happy to drive him there.

As for Kaelin not passing, it's no big deal.  I tell the kids every year before they start that it's not about passing or repeating.  It's about learning and mastering the skills they teach.  I have no problems paying for them to go back the following year and they try hard, so I know it's not for lack of trying.  I'm proud of them regardless!

Sticker Face Again

I had an irritating night with the kids, so I'm not really in a mood for a cutsie post.  Jaemin was my little angel tonight.  The big kids, believe it or not, could have learned from him.

I finally unloaded my little pocket camera's photos tonight and found a picture of Jaemin from the drive home from Alabama last month.  He totally kept himself entertained by taking all of the stickers off the sheets and putting them in various places on his face.  He would feel for an empty spot with his fingers and then stick them on.  While he was very very quiet on the drive, getting the residue from the stickers off took DAYS!

Here are the lovely photos Brian took last night while my dad and step mom were in town.  They brought me a cake for the first time in like 20 years, so Brian took a picture.

Another birthday gone

Yep, that's right, this time it was my birthday.  I won't say how old I am, but I'm still young enough to adopt from Korea again.  So those that are Korean adoptive parents know about the vicinity I'm in.  And by the way, I have some years to go before I age out there.

Anyways, I had a good birthday day. Nothing crazy outstanding, but a good day is a good birthday.  I got by without too much at work...I think only my boss's boss knew it was my birthday today and she brought some stuff.  My darling daughter Kaelin told my mom to give me the present she bought me for Christmas to me today, so I got a new purse, thanks to her.  :)  My dad has been in town for a couple of days, so he and his wife brought me a car and gift card and then got me a cake.  I haven't had a birthday cake in some time.

I have to say, they did actually pull something over on me and I'm pretty observant.  Brian told me he wanted to make me birthday brownies, so he stayed home from swimming lessons tonight.  I thought it was odd that the house didn't smell yummy when we got home, but I had stuff to do and dad was coming back for a visit, so I didn't have too much time to think about it or question him on why he missed swimming classes.  :)  Then, he had me come in the kitchen and they had a cake with a candle on it.  Wow, I definitely haven't had a candle since I was a teenager almost 20 years ago. 

And best of all, my speech delayed little man gave me a hug and said 'happy birday mommie'. 

Onto another year of life.

Nice evening for a swim

The kids are on their 2nd and last week of swimming lessons.  All 4 of the older kids are enrolled.  Jaemin will be old enough to start the preschool class next year.  My dad has been in town for the last two days, so tonight my roast didn't get done in time (crockpot) to eat and get to lessons, so I decided we'd grab some drinks from home and pick up some hamburgers from McDonalds and eat at the park next to the pool.  We ate and then the kids played on the playground for a bit before they needed to run down the hill to their lessons.  It was nice and relaxing.  I had no mess to clean up and all 5 kids were content to play.  Cole just followed Jaemin around on the gym, so I could just sit and watch.

It was obviously nice enough for them too because Kaelin thanked me for doing that tonight.  She never does that.  So, I am really glad they enjoyed it!

My little man/grant or sponsorship/Di2010/k06

So, I haven't been able to talk on the phone to Dillon staff, but I did receive a quick email that they will be able to take any money I can collect and put it towards a sponsorship if little Mr. Di2010-k06 goes to an institution OR better yet put it in a grant for a family that comes forward to make him their child.

I have an email back to her to ask if it will be tax deductible.  Either way, if you can donate it WOULD go to this little guy.  I'm hoping eventually they'll let me post his picture here.  If you haven't filled out the form yet to see him, trust me, he's SUPER cute!  He'll be 3 in September and seems to be on target with the exception of language.  It sounds like he's about where Jaemin is now.  He's talking, just not full sentences and probably not super clear.  He needs someone to bring him home and get him into some speech therapy and let him grow.

Unspoken prayers

Please pray for someone I love.  This person is going through a tremendously hard time and missing a huge chunk of their heart.  I can only imagine as a parent how much it hurts.  I want only the best for them and for this to be resolved.  This is my unspoken prayer request today.

Please pray for them.

New updates on Di2010-K06

I'll keep the donate button out in the right side bar, but since I'm posting this info here anyways, thought I'd also post this.

So, here it is. This little guy (I can't release his name) is almost 3 and is still waiting for his family. He will be moved to an institution, possibly this year. Children are virtually unadoptable at that point. This little guy is making tremendous progress and seems to be doing quite well. He's the same age as Jaemin and seems to be at the same stage...lacking in speech language. I think it's worth at least looking at his file to consider him.

Go to Dillon's web site, fill out the form real quick to get access to the waiting children and say no to this beautiful face....I dare you!!  Double dare you!

If you're not looking to adopt, but would just like to help this sweet boy out, you can donate on my page and in the next several months I will send the money to Dillon. I have their approval to advocate for him and all money donated here will be sent to Dillon and earmarked only for this child. They said that if he's adopted it will go into their Building Families fund and given to his family as a small grant. If he's sent to an orphanage environment, it can then be sent to Korea to aid in his care; speech therapy and just everyday living for a child.

I can't get him off my mind and would like to do something for another child and am praying that somehow he finds his family.

You can donate here and help a child in need.

I love my children, my life

The Mother In Me

The mother in me says to her children;

Don’t cross streets without looking both ways

Don’t talk to strangers

Don’t drink and drive

Don’t do drugs.

The mother in me thinks her children;

Should respect all people

Should treat others as they would like to be treated

Should love and cherish life

Should be all they can, because they can be anything.

The mother in me prays her children;

Will never hurt

Will be loved by all

Will never feel lost or alone

Will always know and remember I love them.

Copyright Notice
© 2005 All rights reserved.

Uggghhh! Braces

Today was Chase's 3rd opinion from an orthodontist.  Looks like we really don't have a choice.  He needs braces.  This guy actually explained things a little more, which really helped.  Basically, Chase has a couple of upper and lower teeth that are crossed.  So basically his upper tooth is back too far and his bottom tooth is too far forward, while is other teeth line up when he closes his mouth.  This will eventually cause one tooth to wear down the other tooth until it needs a crown...YIKES!  So, the estimate on this?  $5,000 if we begin in 2012.  I don't know that we'll be able to do that, so we may have to wait.  She said it's safe to wait as long as we don't get to the point it starts to damage.  She said we can watch and the dentist can watch for that.  I'll talk to our dentist next week when we have our annual there.  Also, his two canine's have nowhere to come into.  One is coming out the side already and won't drop down.  She said it will probably hover between his gum and the actual spot it's supposed to come into.  The other one, on the other side, may never come in, which isn't good either.  Chase also needs to work on keeping his teeth cleaner.  I'm glad he talked to him about it, so maybe he'll take it more seriously.

So, there you have it.  Unless we manage to sell our state tax credit, it will be hard to be for.  If we manage to sell the credit, then we'll, in essence, get that money next summer and be able to start on his teeth.

Fun, fun!

The person I want her to be

that's my baby girl, Chelsi.  I've told the kids time and time again that I don't need them to accomplish anything earth shattering.  I don't need them to be the prettiest, the top of their class or anything like that.  I need them and want them to be good people.  That makes me happy.  Today I got a note confirming that Miss Chelsi is well on her way.  Today was the last day of summer school and her teacher sent home a note with all of the students.  But, Chelsi's had something extra.  It said "Chelsi is wonderful!  I had a little boy who was crying everyday and Chelsi was able to get him to stop.  She was the friend he needed.  Such compassion from a young girl."  Makes me teary everytime I read it.  Apparently, from Chelsi's explanation, this little boy cried everyday, but she didn't know why.  Today she walked up to him and told him she liked his Transformers bag.  He asked her to play with him at recess and she said 'sure'.  This was the day the little boy stopped crying.

That's my baby girl!  My sweet, sweet girl!

Oh I hate those dreams

You know the dreams. The ones where you wake up and remember it and then ponder it all day wondering what your subconscious was trying to tell you.  I had a dream that all of a sudden we were at the point where we had a picture of this cute little Korean guy, he was probably about 12-24 months old and we were adopting him.  He was a waiting child....yeah, that's how much detail I got.  And all of a sudden we were in the throws of the adoption and I was going 'holy crap, how are we going to pay for this'.  PANIC!  I don't know why in the world I would have such a crazy dream.  We have no intentions of anymore kids.  We're good the way things are and our hands are full and our pockets are empty.  Why put any thoughts in my head that I don't need?  It's almost like if I saw this little guy in real life, I'd recognize him.  It was THAT vivid.  The ONLY reason this dream scares me is because in October 2008 (a month after Jaemin was born and 5 months before we knew about him), I had a dream that I met a little baby boy and he was wearing mint green.  Yep, that was my Jaemin.

I love birthday month

Obviously as a mom to 5, I'm lucky I get a birthday, so there is no week long or month long celebration.  However, the coupon people LOVE my birthday.  So, I show them some love by SPENDING them!  I got $10 off Kohls, so Cole got a new pair of shoes for school for $20 after my 20% discount and coupon.  I got $10 off Penneys, so Kaelin got a pair of capris and a shirt and Chelsi got a shirt for $13 total.  I even got a free meal off Lee's Chicken, so I had to use my $20 Groupon to Old Navy and had my yummy dinner for free!

Came home and Brian tells me I got my birthday coupons in the mail today too.  Our city allows vendors to submit coupons and then on your birthday you get a whole pack.  I got my favorite.....I'm hoping someone's going to take me for Chinese so I can use it.  Hint hint.  After all, I've gone to this restaurant most of my birthdays for most of my life.  Why stop now.  It's the only time I get to have it.

Always a reason to celebrate when you get coupons to help you out!

Official switch from 'WHEN' to 'IF'

I hate, hate, hate doing this because it feels like I'm telling myself I've lost hope, but I have to do this to not feel so stressed.  I'm talking about our once in a lifetime trip to Korea as a complete family.  We may go, we may not. I've been mulling this over in my mind and on paper for the last few days and I just don't see any alternative.  Going to Korea for 7 is not as simple as it may seem.  \

First of all, finding a hotel room to accommodate 7 people together is near to impossible.  I'm willing to split the adults up to find two separate rooms, but that definitely adds to the cost.  Not to mention Korea's rules are stricter than here in the US where we can stay in a suite with 2 doubles and a fold out couch.  They don't allow that in Korea.  We finally found a decent place to stay that would only be $180/night...as of now.  So we're figuring on $200/night just in case rates change.

Food's not a terrible worry, but even if you figure $50/day (cheap) you would be spending $6-700 over the 12-14 day stay.  Which yeah, we could stay for a shorter time, but if you're going to fly for 14 hours you want to stay a bit.  If anything it helps a little with jet lag.

Transportation within the country's not terrible either.  We can get around on the subway and cabs for probably less than $500 the whole stay.  Then, there's transportation to Gwangju and Jeju (their birth cities); that's another $1200 for both and a hotel stay at each if just some of us go.  Like me and each child that was born in the city we were going to.

Airfare.  Here's where I can't cut the cost at all.  We're obligated to pay whatever the going rate is at the time for economy class tickets.  So, if oil goes up, so does our airfare, which at a good June rate will be $1500/ticket if we're lucky.  With 7 of us, the price of our family's airfare can fluctuate anywhere from $10,000 to $13,000 for all of us.  There's not getting around this part.  You can't just choose to drive or take another mode of transportation.  This is the part that really stinks!  We can afford to be in Korea, we just can't do the high end of airfare.

We've been planning for this since Kaelin was about 3 and told me she wanted to go together.  Then we emptied the whopping $800 we had in the account to get Jaemin.  I got serious and started saving $100/month after Jaemin came home two years ago.  Then came my $250/month pay cut thanks to our stinky contractor who can't get us a better deal on health insurance.  Due to that I had to go part time to afford my bills and get the kids out of daycare.  And with all this went the $100/month I was saving for the trip.  So, there we stand at $3,800 in our Korea account.  If you added the above up, we're need about $17,000 to go.  Only $13,200 short.  Not bad huh?  UGH!  We have our regular savings and it has some in it, but you can't drain your savings to nothing with 5 school aged kids.  We're already living paycheck to paycheck...literally.  There's nowhere to go.  Then, we have the potential that either we're going to have to fix our septic's drainfield or hook up to our city sewer.  Either way it will cost about $3500.  And Thursday after our 3rd orthodontic opinion Chase may still need braces.  Poor kid has two permanent teeth coming out the side of his gums.

So, it's time I let myself down a bit.  I was so psyched for this trip.  It's not like I was completely doing it for Kaelin, Chelsi and Jaemin.  I was planning it for our family.  It's bonding.  It's a special link for us.  It's how we became a family.  It's been important and driving me for years, but it's time to let go so that I don't let it's dream consume me.

The plan is to wait until next Winter when we had planned to start buying tickets or watching for decent fares to reevaluate.  If things seem okay and maybe we manage to save some more we'll think a little more about it.  Otherwise, each year it will get pushed back another year until we decide if we'll ever go at all.  Really, you don't have forever.  Cole will be 18 in just 4 years.  One year he will have his heart surgery and that is how we'll spend our summer.  So, all I can say is IF we go to Korea as a family it will be the best trip ever!

Our Outing

I took the kids to a state park to look around and walk.  They enjoyed it. It was a perfect 80 degrees, but was a little muggy down near the water.  Somewhere during this outing I hurt my knee.  I'm guessing anyways.  By Saturday night my knee was swollen and warmish.  I can't kneel on it or put pressure on it, so I've been icing it.  It's sort of white and then red on my knee cap.  Weird.  Who knows.

This is how far up we were.  We drove down the hill and then walked the trail along the spring.

The kids at the ruins of the castle.  It took almost 20 years before it was completed and was gone in another 20.

This is a glimpse of what the house looked like prior (during) it's burning.  It was HUGE!

Happy little camper running along.

Chase just had to take this picture.

Fun Summer Day

We had a really great day!  Last night the big boys had to go to town with me because Chase wanted to buy himself a new Cardinals hat since he lost the 3rd one in about 5 years, while on vacation.  Cole needed a new lifejacket since he finally weighed over 90 lbs and actually jumped right to 100.  I wanted to be sure it would fit him since he's so thin, so he came with me to the store.  The boys talked me into stopped at Petco because they'd been saving for a lizard habitat starter kit.  Obviously they'd been planning on it because they'd caught 3 lizards and the neighbor boy was keeping 2 of them in his habitat.  They lucked out and it was $20 off so they could still afford to buy the water dish, sand, etc.  The darn heat mat had a short or something and the light didn't work at all, so we have to bring those parts back.  They moved the lizards in today and are so happy to have them in their room.

Because they couldn't set up their tank until today, we got back too late last night, I was able to leverage with them and they had to clean up their room spotless because set up.  Then, I promised the girls that if they cleaned up the rec room we'd go swimming at Lois' house.  They cleaned it up and the boys finished up to make sure it was up to par for mom's standards. 

After Jaemin's nap we loaded up the water toys and left.  I stopped at the local store to get some of those yummy ice cream sundae cones to eat.  So we ate those before we swam.  The water was absolutely perfect!  We swam for a little over 3 house and only left because it was after our regular supper time.  The kids were playing so well together and watching them while I played with Jaemin in the water made me so happy.  You can see some maturity changes there and it was really nice to watch.  This is the best part of parenting to say the least!

Jaemin...oh Jaemin.  He's such a quirky boy.  He acts like he's not ready to potty train, but he's got it so under control.  He's just too stubborn to train.  I noticed he never pooped in a swim diaper the whole time we were on vacation even though we spent hours out there.  He was exactly the same at Lois' house.  He told me he 'pooped pants'.  I thought it was odd he'd do it in the pool so I checked and there was nothing.  I finally got him on her potty and he peed, but wouldn't poop.  He has a phobia of this for some reason.  So we go back and he says he has to go again.  I asked him if he wanted to go on the potty and he did NOT want to.  So, I asked him if he wanted to poop in Lois' grass (I would have scooped it).  :)  He didn't want to.  Later he gets out and grabs himself and says he has to go, but he wanted to pee in her rocks.  Yep, I let him.  He peed a lot!  Put back on the swim diaper and went on playing.  Right before we left I asked him if he needed to pee again and he did.  So, he peed outside again....a lot!  I think he's liking this peeing outside thing.  Maybe this will get me somewhere.  I may be hitting this a little harder tomorrow.  Sorry about the potty Lois. 

The boys have spent the evening admiring their lizards while Jaemin puts his finger by the tank and acts like they're biting him through the glass.  He yells ouch and seems to be a pretty good actor because when I first walked in I thought something had actually hurt him until I watched him.  He's such a funny little boy!

EARTHQUAKE!!

It was actually about 200 miles away; give or take some mileage. They said it was about 3 am last night, but I didn't look at the clock. Yep, the girl who only wakes up when she hears kids woke up to the earth shaking a bit. I remember feeling very groggy and wondering if it was a rumble of thunder. Then, I thought "I don't remember any rain in the forecast". It felt like the bed was shaking a bit and I heard noise outside. It was over quick and I just went back to sleep thinking no way was that an earthquake. We would feel it here, from where our fault is.

So, as I was showering this morning Brian came in and asked if I woke up during the quake. I thought, seriously. I really thought I was dreaming. Hmmm...guess not. He said before it really shook the dog started barking and he was outside trying to quiet him. He said our house creaked a lot from outside.

The last time we had one a couple of years ago anyone barely felt it. I was on the 10th floor of a building so we felt it a bit up there, but most people on main levels did not. The one last night was a 4.2.

Hot and a little steamy, but wonderful

We've spent a lot of the past two late afternoons/evenings outside.  With temperatures that feel like 100 degrees right now, it's not always pleasant, but the evenings have been decent at a balmy 85 degrees. 

Last night we took some popcorn and drinks over to a friends house to watch Megamind.  I don't know how many families they ended up with at their house.  My guess was about 10 or so...families!  They set up a screen in their front yard and we all laid out blankets or sat in our lawn chairs and watched.  It was very enjoyable.  We went to the river with Brian's parents this afternoon.  It was warming, but breezy on the river, as usual.  The water was still too cold for me, but the kids had no problem getting in.  The current is really strong since it's up so high, but they did well.  Obviously, we didn't let the two littlest in without hanging on to them.  Jaemin couldn't get enough.  I swear he got dirty just so we would dip him in.  He would go play in the dirt and then come to us and say "I messy, wash me".  We would dip him in the river and he would start all over again.  He peed on the deck going to the dock twice.  The second time he announced that he was doing it, so he apparently now understands the sensation.  So, we would dip him again.  Then Jaemin decided he wanted to pee on a tree.  I brought him over to a tree, but nothing.  I think he'd probably potty train if I could get him to go one time outside.  May have to work on this this summer.  We had hot dogs and hamburgers and some pasta salad.  I think they were all worn out after the boat ride.  I taught Jaemin to put his arms up and scream like he was riding a roller coaster.

And now, I have to recover from my huge allergen exposure with all this fun.  Good thing I got some new meds for it today.  UCK!

Beach Family Pictures

I don't think I ever posted our family pictures from Orange Beach here.  I brought my tripod and set the timer and snapped what I could.  Not too bad for being in the photo and being the photographer.